1. Stripped Down & Strung Out
The following was first published on January 22, 2018
It was August 2015 in the Texas Hill Country. The stifling heat radiating off the dry ground below in waves had given way to an unusually cool evening. I was sleeping in the back of my pick up truck, open air.
The breezy sky opened up and enveloped me, and I was relaxed after a long day of volunteering in the kitchen of a youth camp for refuge teens from war-stricken countries.
Washing dishes in a make-shift kitchen in the stifling sun proved so laborious, I held only one speck of energy reserved at the end of the day. There was nothing to to do but surrender to the exhaustion.
I had just gotten off the phone, texting with Jack - a man I spent many lifetimes with and was deeply in love with at the time - unrequited love of lifetimes. He loved me, he said in energy not words, but we would never be together, he said with words. I took the scraps he gave me like a starving dog and thanked him after he scolded me.
The night gave way to the brilliant stars that lit up the sky and a meteor shower of epic proportions filled the cosmic movie screen projected above as I drifted off to sleep. I lay unable to move in the back of the truck with nothing but a pillow, a sheet, covered with the coarse salt of dried sweat, and a copious amount of hope.
Not hope that Jack and I would be together one day. Not hope that I would stop having all these human problems that never seemed to end. It was the kind of hope that fills up your body crown to toe tips when you have nothing else to lose. Some call it freedom. It was a surrender of sorts, and more so, a path when none others were visible in the human eye.
I drifted off to sleep. In my dream, I was driving my white truck. Suddenly, thieves approached and began to strip the car as I drove. They ripped off the rearview mirrors, even the doors - anything and everything. I found I held no fear. I held no anger towards the theives - at all. I just watched. Neutral observer as my life was stripped away.
When the vandals took the tires off the truck, and it could not longer be driven, I got out and walked, totally un-phased by the stripping of my vehicle and all that I owned. I just kept walking, nothing in my hands, only the clothes on my back. I walked steadily and peacefully. Numb human, yet full of soul sensation.
I came to a stream. Jack was there, and he kissed me. But I walked on.
I walked through a knee-deep stream as my clothes began to fall off. Piece by piece I became fully naked.
And I kept walking through the water. I stepped on rocks and my feet bled, the red pools forming in the water beneath them. Jack did not follow, and I did not care. I did not look back. I didn't need to. I knew he was not there.
I passed a group of souls, beings, and I somehow knew were awake, and they said, "Stay here with us. We found Utopia."
I did not look up when I nodded in their direction - in acknowledgement and a sign of saying I hear you but no thanks.
I walked on and on, through dark waters. My feet continued to bleed. All I could feel was bliss. Bliss in this moment was steadiness without a high or low. It was pure existence without interference.
I reached a stopping point, still all darkness, and there was no one there. I felt a sensation sort of like love and a lot like acceptance fill my body. It was a peace not available to the human experience and therefore held no words.
I guess it's the kind of experience which only runs on a hope no one else can taste, a freedom which only comes from losing everything -- one you cannot know until you are stripped down and strung out.
After the dream, I would try to go back to human life. I continued to wash dish after dish at the youth camp. I smiled at everyone I came across and they smiled back.
And then the hope that often felt like desperation, disease, and despair turned into something else - a guiding force that would not let me stop walking.
When the car died, I kept moving.
When my love for another was not returned, I moved forward.
When the clothes came off, I walked naked.
When my feet bled, I did not stop.
When people showed up, I did nothing more than smile and walk on.
These days - I have been sober for so long now - yet I am strung out.
High as a kite on the non-linearity. Spinning and twirling in infinity beyond the veils of maya.
Instead of walking, I've taken up floating and flying.
My head spins, my heart beats fast and then not at all, and I spin and spin and spin.
And that weird desperate hope thing has turned into knowing.
The knowing feels like the motion of waves in the ocean.
Am I seasick or I am experiencing a reality long forgotten?
2. The Tunnel
Sometime in 2017, I was living in a Shaumbra community in Colorado. I had begun to feel that instead of enhancing my impending realization, it was hindering it.
That night in my sleep, I was calmly digging a tunnel through rocky dense ground. I whistled while I worked. My headlamp lit the way in the dark night. I was alone with no fear.
Then suddenly, a shaumbra woman showed up. She had a lantern and began to push and shove me at my back. She was desperate to get out. Thinking I had found the way out, she shoved her elbows hard into my back.
I took a deep breath and with as much energy without force I could command I said, "This is my way. It's time for you to find your own."
She clawed at me some more, scratching at my face. I stood motionless and unmoved. Then I watched her turn around and go look for someone else. I did not say it out loud, but added to the energetic communication. "Only you can find your way out, and the only way is to relax and enjoy the moment."
I looked out and she was furiously digging a hole in another spot. I knew she would figure it out and soon, so I let her. the light emerged at the end of my dark tunnel, and I strolled through it, easily and with grace.
3. The I AM THAT I AM Highway
I made the move back into the land of the living in February and emerged in mass consciousness around May of 2018.
It was easier this time, and things seemed to align effortlessly. I did miss the camaraderie of my friends who spoke realization, and yet I knew I was in the right place.
In June, before the Keahak finale, I drifted off to sleep. Again, I was in my white pick up truck. I found myself at the entrance of a freeway.
The green highway sign said, "I AM THAT I AM.....789 MILES. No services. No exits. No turnarounds."
In my dream, my human facet was trying to get to Colorado, to make it in time for the Keahak finale.
An older woman showed up - she was also me - and said, "There's no going back. You have set yourself up to drive along the I AM THAT I AM highway for the rest of your physical existence."
My human facet driving the car turned around to look and see if there was an escape before driving onto this highway - the point of no return.
There were spikes that would smash my tires and all sorts of obstacles that prevented this human driver from putting the truck into reverse. The panic set into this human woman that was also me, and then she surrendered with a deep sigh.
She put the car in drive and hit the gas petal with great gusto. The old woman jumped in the car just before it entered the highway, and they became ONE. Again.
The human came back from its "vacation", or time away, and began to enjoy the road trip.
Now, what was the Infinite I (human and divine combined beyond duality) going to create?
Then I really got what New Energy meant...
New Energy is what comes after the New Age. This evolution of energetic dynamics allows for the integration of duality, including the human and divine parts of Self becoming one, a singular I AM.
While the New Age is based on vibrational energy and dimensional delineation, New Energy is expanses in all directions simultaneously, branching from the single point of the I Exist.
Saturday, Adamus announced the beginning of the Emergence series of channels at the monthly webcast. I totally forgot about it, yet had the sense that I was needing to tune into something. That I was missing something. Then a friend texted that he was watching the monthly webcast, so I tuned in.
I was so deeply and profoundly touched by Adamus’ words in the opening statements at the core of my being and deep within my chest, a space behind my heart, I decided to transcribe them here. ADAM-US is after all a collective consciousness and to hear the words reflected back to you of something you experienced is near indescribable.
Last month or so I had a chat with Adamus about this topic. I know I am not the only one. There are some I know in physical and some I do not know yet. And, I have found when I take something up with this consciousness, if it comes from the deepest space inside me, it will make it into the materials. Not the screaming, unbalanced human being I was in the past, but the living breathing being who is saying hey, this might be helpful and I know because I am living it. Things might have changed since your last Earthly visit.
Looking back – so much easier in hindsight – the realization experience, which really feels almost like a reversal into what already existed - through the eyes of the human and divine combined, started sometime around the fall of last year.
In October of last year, I had the ineffable experience in vivid color and without words the direct experience of knowing, being, experiencing the I AM GOD, also. I don’t even think I can write any more than the one article I wrote. That’s likely all I will ever write about it. It was too personal and too – well, too sacred for lack of a better word – to share.
Another wave of realization rolled through my being in January, a release of guilt, shame, fear, remorse, clinging of the Atlantean dream, disaster, programming, etc. I know we are all unique but FOR ME it was the needle in the haystack – buried so deep and so hidden – the last thread that kept me from the realized state. It was the one thread of crap I held onto all this time that kept me from my realization. It was right there in front of my face the whole time. Once I saw it, it unraveled before my eyes - in high definition, high speed rewind.
Shortly thereafter, my home sold in Colorado and the series of unfortunate or very fortunate events – depending on perception – began to unfold as a left Colorado, which more felt like being kicked out – by an angry mob that bled into my social media experience. There really was no point to be on there for me anymore with this space.
What was that experience? What was it really about? I have asked so many times only to shelve it for later. I simply could not put my finger one what that experience really was. Why I was so sad, why I still am sometimes.
Since leaving, I’ve had a few doubts that only reminded me to trust myself. Was I delusional? Did I make this realization experience up? Are these people who have cast me out right about me? I know you can relate - those in their free states now.
Yes, in realization you are still a human being with human attributes. You don't turn into super man or super woman. You almost become even more human in a way. (I'm so glad some of you let me know this. Thank you. I am passing the wisdom on.)
The answers undeniable and completely personal - you are the only one who will really truly know - undeniably. The dawn was upon me AND it was nothing I could imagine. It was more than I hoped it would be and less than I hoped it would be in many ways.
I’ll tell you why I am choosing to write this below.
I knew who I was and what I was and was not, and it didn’t matter what anyone or anybody else thought, said or did. It was my realization. And, it was beautifully mine and mine alone. I needed to be alone too.
Now to the channel...
ADAMUS in the August 2018 shoud (paraphrased as I am not a good typist):
“Is everyone going to go through (realization in the CC)?....Yes, sooner or later…. Some of you are going to take your time. You’ll go through in the slipstream. Some are going to go fast because you’re just so damn ready. Others will go in their slip stream. It’s not a race and there is no award for those who get there first...
(On those realized) You’re not going to be beating your chest about it….It’s such a personal beautiful quiet thing. It’s so personal…. You are not going to be bragging. You are not going to need acknowledgment. You are not going to get acknowledgment - from me or from others. Nor do you want it. You know – and that’s all. That’s all.
(I have found this to be extremely real in my personal unique experience, but it doesn't mean you will not want friends and that you will not be hurt...).
For those of you who have come along through this early, you already know this. There is no preaching at the others and not saying this how you have to do it. You’ll realize that. You don’t say this is how I did it and you have to do it. (talks about preaching on social media).
(Indeed, the desire to tell anyone how to do anything fades away, likely just after it rears its ugly head for the last hurrah of spiritual ego, in my personally unique experience.)
There’s no rushing anybody and there’s no pandering to anybody (poor dear etc.). You just allow them, and they’ll come through and maybe in your slip stream.
For those taking their time – and there’s something to be said about that – let the others go through and have the rockier path.
(The profound part for me…)
For those taking their time, don’t throw rocks at the ones you think that might have made it. Why would you throw rocks? To test them. Have they really made it or are they making it up?
You know rocks hurt, even to a master because they are still in a human body. (My body seized up here, I too felt so sick, Joanna, I felt the trauma of my move from Colorado – I’m at the six-month mark and just now able to function completely.)
Don’t throw rocks. Don’t assault them. Don’t criticize them. You are really just trying to test them.
Don’t to do that because when you first come through in the emergence there is an incredible sensitivity and sensuality.
If you are hanging back and waiting, don’t throw rocks. If any of this happens on social media, delete those posts. This is too sensitive. It hurts too much. It goes too deep - even for a human master.”
I just needed to hear someone say it. I needed to hear that and in hearing it, I healed a deep wound within myself.
If you truly know me, you know I am not bringing this up to pat myself on the back. I bring this up to say that for me, this was and STILL is an extremely sensitive and sensual time. Go easy on yourself, go easy on those around you (reminder for ME!).
Everything I thought a master is has been thrown out the door. Everything is not perfect, and yet like my friend, Xanthe, told me, it does feel at arms length. You still feel deeply, almost even more deeply, but in this beautiful state of grace and realization it becomes clear - so clear - that deep deep feeling, or sensation rather, is not yours to hold onto. It rolls through you without the analyzing mind and is beyond my descriptive abilities right now.
The other thing is the more my realization sinks in, the more normal I feel. I feel more like a normal human being each day – after a lifetime of feeling so weird. I believe this comes with extreme self-acceptance and balance sets in eventually.
To think you won’t cry. Oh, I have cried and cried and cried. Driving from Colorado, I dehydrated myself from tears while simultaneously opening to my true nature. The lotus flower in the muck.
To think that you won’t feel when energetic daggers are thrown at you. That you are some sort of stone being who is not moved by their surroundings is a total fallacy.
In the end, this message personally gave me some deep sensual acknowledgment not from outside myself but from within myself.
I also want to note that I am greatly enjoying the materials from CC in this relationship – having removed the human quality of it – for now. It still does not feel safe for me to go into that human system space but the direct relationship with the materials and placing my wisdom int the vault, the conscious library feels really good.
Instead, of using the materials as tool to get further along some strangely perceived realization timeline or platform. I am simply loving the words that help me remember how I did ‘such and such’ in hindsight.
How did I stop allowing my mind to consistently feed off me? How did my body make the jump? How did I have this profoundly personal experience and at the same time have so many people throwing rocks at me? What is embodied creation going to look like as we re-write history?
The materials are amazing for this. Adamus came to me around May and he said don't let the human side of things prevent you from having a direct relationship and direct input into the materials offered by the channels. Since then, I have heard so many of my own experiences and words make it into the channels. I feel seen and heard on a completely different 'level' of awareness that holds no human recognition, which would feel terribly icky at this point.
Realization was simply a perception shift of worthiness, a freedom from being beholden to anyone (especially my own aspects and guilt – for blowing up Atlantis in this case – this continues to roll through deeply).
It had nothing to do with what my human life looked like. It doesn’t mean I don’t feel. I don’t cry. If anything, I feel more deeply than I ever have in my whole life.
The opposite of guilt is innocence. The dichotomies that arise in being beyond duality is something the mind would never be able to fathom. For example, to be completely in a child-like innocence (guilt free) AND finding the spiritual maturity I so lacked when I first started writing with you all and creating this space. Perhaps you could see the vision before I ever created the website back in March 2017.
The spiritual maturity comes with the balance, of learning to walk like baby through this realization embodied and holding wisdom beyond years.
It is so tender, and self-care and self-nurturing is still needed in the fragility of this state, which is equally unbendable and unbreakable and unmoved by the rocks thrown. There is a learning of how to walk like a baby, to learn to crawl and stand holding onto the table for stability, in this new state. Balancing comes but it takes some time - time I gave myself after my move to California six months ago.
I could go on, but at least wanted to capture this tender moment, knowing I am not the only one in the sovereign collective of this website who will or has gone through this. Thank you.
Karen, I keep thinking of you texting me as a drove out of Colorado. It is imprinted in my soul. The text popped on my phone when I was in the depths of the rock’s impact. THANK YOU.
I'm so glad I tuned into the five minutes; what that message did for me, what it moved within me, cannot be captured in words. Deep exhale. Holy crap it feels good to shuffle that around.
Massive gratitude for you all and this space - NO ROCKS. NO RACES.
After I wrote this post on Sunday, I received a few apologies for throwing rocks. All is forgiven and there is nothing to forgive. It's just part of the experience. I really do hope others come through the emergence and can celebrate it along side their friends. I hope they can say, wow! I went through my realization, and their friends and partner, whoever, will hug them and say, that's amazing. How can I sovereignly support you in this time of great sensitivity and re-balancing? How can I honor this deeply personal experience?
For me, I just want to be treated as a normal person, and that's it.
I have two friends that I know of who went through their realization several years ago. The rocks for me were less than they were for them, and I hope it continues in this manner and we co-exist in the emergence that is going to happen in its own naturally unfoldment.
I also want to include my apologies and what I learned in hindsight below after all your notes.
In hindsight, if I had known what was going on at a human level, I would have disconnected and been silent for a bit. I would have just been with myself.
I was alone in New Mexico when it started in October and in Costa Rica in January when it finished but going back to Colorado was not in my best interest (except to move my belongings and keep my mouth shut - except with the one friend who stood by my side and saw what was happening - thank you!).
Being online was not in my best interest. Being around anyone but my partner and my dog was not in my best interest. Yet, I didn't know and I'm glad I collected the writing because I would not be able to write it down now.
It happened so quickly. It was like an orgasm I could hold anymore. I wanted to stretch it out and it just popped before I could do anything about it.
All is forgiven within me and there is nothing to forgive myself for. It unfolded in the way it did. No turnarounds, no regrets. Freedom without borders on the other side.
I will say, at the human level, I really didn't know what was happening. I guessed it and then doubted it.
Truly, I was terrified not knowing if I would wake up in the morning; I simultaneously did not care and had no human control on the outcome of things - the pure passion of the soul took over and my human facet sat watching IN TOTAL CONFUSION (it has now returned in such a beautiful peaceful way).
My realization experience was both graceful and messy, and I couldn't pretend on the outside not to see what I was seeing. I couldn't pretend to have it all together and to be able to tolerate certain things people were bringing into my life. I was so fucking sensitive in a way I cannot describe in words.
I have apologized to anyone affected in the beautiful graceful MESS and received no reply from any of them but one, who I know who gets it deep down.
The corruption that exists in any system (and my jaded responses), the ridiculous need to defend myself (over it now). There's also no need to convince anybody of anything at all. (That too dissolves completely. There is no desire to help, only to watch in awe and honor of those around you.)
All is well - even if each word upon my departure from the CC community felt like a nail through my chest. I remain whole as I feel each nail hammered in. You don't have to tell me (someone commented on what was being said about me behind my back). I know already. I can feel each word, and It. Doesn't. Matter.
To others, who brought up being in a cocoon phase:
To be in the cocoon is not a bad thing. I can see it as a smart thing. Another friend on the other side of realization did just that. Total disconnection. And now re-emergence. There are others that came before me - thank you! - and there will be many more. And it doesn't matter the timeline that doesn't even exist.
Having been completed wiped off Facebook for some months and no longer living in a tank with lobsters trying to claw their way out of the tank, I have a very Pollyanna view of the way things will go. I am wildly excited and human likely over optimistic that we can co-exist in the emergence if we allow ourselves to. It sure does help to have removed myself from certain space.
I will give myself a pat on the back (after beating myself up a bit for the mess and letting that go because lets face it, realization is messy as hell) that while there may be a few bumps on the road -- this is the only space - that I know of - where the emergence is a place to co-exist in a sovereign collective (love Joanna's term here) without rocks and without races.
We worked for it a lot, then we allowed it, and I beam with pride at OUR collective creation.
To everyone - The space is here if you want it, just want to dip a toe in, or come and go as you please and just take a peak.
I have come to some sort of balance, especially in knowing anyone who is hyper critical of anything or anyone is a million times harder on themselves (I know from direct previous experience), and the fountain of undiluted compassion flows freely.
I thought I was going to surf into enlightenment. Instead I stumbled upon it, and now I surf - in a women's surf league. Completely free, and in deep appreciation of this space WE created together.
I love that it is growing, and I am so appreciative of those who allowed me to step into my own space, to those who could they could see what a gorgeous mess it was, when I was falling apart.
I love you all. I'm not so offended by that word anymore. But for those who are - deep HONOR of you and your unique experience, no matter what it looks like on the outside.
Dear friends, readers and contributors,
What an honor it is to know each of you - inimitable souls we all are!
What a jump each of us has made from going to the 'we are all one' mentality to knowing each of us is a whole entire ONE in and of ourselves. Can you hear the sound of the freedom bell ringing? I certainly can.
That leap from the New Age dogma that there is anything to fix, heal, or help outside of ourselves is a big one - to knowing that all radical and conscious shifts incur within the Kingdom of Self, and when we make the leap internal it is reflected in our outer world, too.
In my yogi days, I had a shirt that said "Peace is an inside job" - I'm just now wrapping my spiral of awareness around that cliche - knowing deeply that when we try to manipulate (helping and healing included) energy outside of us, we are ignoring the very change that can be allowed within us - the stuff lasting change is made of and the leap to allowing energy to serve us instead of us being a slave to energy.
I'm back at "work" - in quotes because it's more joy than work - writing my next two books. The first is a sequel to Becoming Sar'h: Book One - which includes my own personal leap from the New Age into the New Energy.
If you are rolling your eyes because you made that leap lifetimes ago, you might appreciate the other book that is in the messy, chaotic editing phase, The Magic of Being, which dives deeply into the embodied realization experience.
In the meantime, I have my real time writing is here on this page. It addresses a wide variety of audiences, and sometimes it's just me talking to ME - out loud. Perhaps you might find a spark within as you read to write and share your own story in any medium available.
Writing these days is a funny thing in the context of the changing tides of consciousness. And I almost put the idea that I would continue to write to bed. As soon as I write something down, a gateway to a deeper awareness roles in, and the content becomes obsolete almost instantly.
I have made a perception shift in knowing I am simply capturing a moment. I can swallow this truth pretty easily because of my past as a newspaper reporter, in which I knew the days after I published an article it would be lining a kitty litter box pretty quickly. And, I'm happy to capture a moment and have it dissolve in a litter box the next day.
Just as I am willing to know what I write has a limited shelf life, I hope you too allow the ease and grace of discarding long-held beLIEfs that once served but no longer do. The snake never stops shedding its skin.
Through this, I am reminded of the impermanence of everything. After all, BEING is the perpetual state of becoming - never static, always dynamic. There is no end and no beginning to our inimitable soul stories beyond the veils of maya.
Cheers to letting it all go as easily as it came!
Right now I am greatly enjoying a Facebook free life. Much more time to play now. I still love personal contact and hearing from my friends - that's you!
I am easing into life in Encinitas, California, and I am part of an all women's surfing posse, hitting the waves with my longboard as often as possible.
Ollie, my dog, loves California life. He'll be eight in September and lost eight pounds since we moved. I'm not the only one happier here. I recently took him to Sequoia National Park. Here's a photo next to one of the magnificent trees!
My partner, Damian, and I recently returned from a trip to England and Wales - a story I will include in Becoming Sar'h: Book Two. I have two upcoming events in Vancouver, BC and Florence, Italy, which are full, but hope to offer more no agenda gatherings in 2019.
Don't be a stranger and thank you always for supporting my writing habit.
If you enjoyed the Thirty Days of Self-Love, please consider writing a review of the book on the Amazon store. I'd love to know how you received the book in your life, as it is my first time using that format.
In deep appreciation and honor of you,
Perhaps its the stifling heat that's causing me to die - yet again. It's a heat that can not even be diffused with air conditioning because it doesn't seem to exist anywhere - literally.
Definitely, not in my California home. The heat even followed me to Wales and England, known for rain and fog and dampness. Still, no air condintioning. The grass burned up beneath my feet as I traversed it's jagged coast.
Each place I stepped my foot, the grass went from salvageable yellow to dead as a doornail brown. My thirst is unquenchable. No amount of water will solve the dryness in my throat. My body aches for water like the trees. I reach up toward the sky like a flower only to burn to ash in the sun's rays.
The scorching, record-breaking heat poured over my twenty-five day trip to return to Avalon and the shores of Wales where I washed up after the fall of Atlantis eons ago. Funny, I have not forgotten after all these long millennia, yet I can hardly remember my own name these days, let alone type this.
The melancholy of the Robert Earl Keen song played in my head, "It's been a long hot summer - and not a drop of rain."
In the heat, it takes all I can just to move my fingers along the key board. I have the fans going. The windows and doors are open. I seek a breeze that does not come.
I think about my dissatisfaction with everything. The seeking human loves a problem to solve. But what happens when you have no problems. Money - plenty there. A partner - yep, he awesome. Health - yep, I'm strikingly healthy despite my deeds.
I really see why people in their realization experience are getting jobs to fill their days. Makes them go by quicker. I don't have to forage for food. I don't have to seek a partner or a friend. I don't have to keep my body in check. There's nothing to do anymore. No solutions needed. Everything is perfect and it's stifling.
As a result, my days are so long. Each minute feels like another year on this Earth. This Earth that doesn't need me for anything. In fact, no one needs me for anything. I created it that way. Total freedom just to be. That was the magic experience I sought, no?
For the last few years, I have been writing about the magic of being. How glorious it is to do nothing. But now that I have the freedom to do nothing. Now that the desire for human experience was extinguished, my desire to pep talk others into enjoying life. I feel everything is done on this planet.
Gaia is leaving. OK. We are supposed to be creating a new earth with our realized friends.
Two years ago this summer, I was told by a master people call Adamus (ML3) to release nature, to release biology. I did not take action but agreed to allow this to take place. And so it has, I am free now from biology and nature.
Sounds so lovely. But the trees and the foot paths across Earth filled me up on days when I felt I couldn't go on. Trying to solve human problems like paying bills, repairing my image on a daily basis, writing uplifting things, sharing my stories; they all took so much time the days passed so quickly.
But I don't have that deep desire to share anymore. I cannot care what people think. There's no need to explain anything.
The words are like the heat; they drain the last drop of moisture from my body.
Paddling out for a surf, the ocean waters say hey, I filled you up for lifetimes. Now you are on your own.
Mother Earth says I got this from here. I don't need you and you don't need me, anymore. This is the sovereignty you desired. Really?
I breathe a lot. Deep conscious breaths. Over and over in time that stretches painfully out like a roll of dough. Yet I have no desire to make bread. I'm not hungry anymore.
I see others creating or building (who cares the difference anymore) things in their lives. Record numbers of realization lifetime beings getting jobs, getting married, enjoying food and wine, enjoying sex, buying houses, moving, traveling. More. More. More. Good for them (genuine notion). Yet, I know none of that is going to fill me up anymore.
What do you do when it's all here?
I've had months in realization. My self-love is unflappable. My bank account is brimming. My partner is perfection for me. My dog is loving and healthy. I am told I am creating something beyond love. I am creating a new earth, but it's not appealing. Right now at least.
I'm not hungry, and that's an odd sensation having been insatiable all my lives.
If I did want anything, it would be a cool breeze, a dark rain cloud to come over my house and let loose.
I want to not sweat for a whole day.
Besides nature being gone as a source of inspiration within me, travel has died a slow death as well. While on my trip to Avalon, which lacked magic in a way I could not fathom, I wrote these notes - and even more died away in the two weeks passed:
Traveling in a space of realization is quite a trip. You aren’t looking for answers. You do not seek resolution or for some magic moment to delight your human...at least not outside of nature...and even that magic is starting to wear off (now it has completely).
Yet, in the midst of chaos, there is always a tree motioning me over to rest my back on its centuries old trunk. Brief relief from the flat earth world mentality. (Now there is not even that!)
As a realized traveler, a walker, a pilgrim with no end destination, you know you’re not going to fully resonate with anything. Nothing is going to match your insides, your guts, your swirls of ever multiplying consciousness.
Walking through Glastonbury today, the pious priests and those desperate for their redemption mingled with new age drunks with dark tans, no t-shirts, and harem pants that would stand up on their own.
Naked babies grasping onto their mother’s dreadlocks, wondering why they did not choose the boring yet stable parent, passed by staring at me through the window pane, asking:
“Is this it? Is this what Earth became?”
Every sign lining the streets promises salvation. Through Jesus, flagellation, tarot card readings, workshops of every variety, hemp — or an organic iced coffee.
St. John the Baptist sits at the bar with Mary Magdalene and they have a good laugh at people looking for King Arthur’s grave site.
“No. It’s here,” points another.
The smell of burnt hope swirling up from the alter boys swinging incense urns mixes with the hippie body odor distinctly new age in nature.
A man or woman - let’s say a person- dressed as Carmen Miranda shakes its narrow hips balancing the plastic, made in China fruit basket on its head, grating behind the priest who holds stoic.
The monk who wears his costume from lives past and waits for people to notice his importance as they pass by. They never do.
Then the message makes sense. Anyone who is a pioneer of consciousness will be invisible to those who are still playing in the systems dressed up in circus tents. There's the religion tent. The new age tent. The marijuana tent. The organic gluten free tent. And on...
“Step right on up, folks. This is the most conscious show on Earth," each ringmaster boasts to the passersby.
I know they cannot even see me. I move through the crowd untouched and unseen. This show is a rerun.
As my internal wisdom comes to the surface with each inhale, I exhale the words.
"You are not jaded; you are conscious. "
AND I'M LEFT WONDERING: HOW DO YOU LIVE ON A HUNGRY PLANET, WHEN YOU HAVE NO APPETITE?
I know some thread of Self will rise to the occasion - to replace nature, to replace my severed devotion to Earth, and the sensuality I found in consumption (food, shopping, energy feeding, exercise....an on....)
But until then, I'm going to the store to buy an air conditioning unit. Maybe I'm just hangry for cool air. At least, my sense of humor remains in tact:)
I found this quote supposedly from Osho (meh!) after I wrote this, and I'm not real sure where it came from only that I did not write it...But it spoke to this....
"The ego (human facet) needs some problems. If you understand this, in the very understanding the mountains become molehills again, and then the molehills disappear. Suddenly there is emptiness, pure emptiness all around. This is what enlightenment is all about - a deep understanding there is no problem."
I would add when the problem/ subsequent creative solution dynamic ceases to exist, an emptiness rolls over your being, in my personal experience. Yet, it fills up again with pure passion for BEING. And that's what it's all about.
You do the hokey pokey, and you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about! :P
The Blooming Flower: Building vs. Creating; Mechanizing conversations with the Master vs. Allowing them to unfold
To archive from a Keahak post on January 5, 2018...
For me, a major part of this embodied enlightenment experience is about surrendering the perceived human control mechanisms and to stepping into divine unfolding of the all that is (me).
Like Tobias said so many years ago, you will want to have both human free will and divine will, but you cannot have both. Just a few short months ago, I felt the last of my perceived human free will dissolve into the Self, the Universe of Me, my body of consciousness.
For me, the space of divine will is the space of creation from no-thing - the Ahmyo life of not being beholden to anyone or anything or even energy. In this space you do not need materials to create. It is the difference between building something with energy and creating in soul expression.
Stick with me for a short story, if you will...
When I was pondering no energy creation (not new energy creation, no energy creation) laying in bed one night, I saw creation as a blooming flower. The seed begins to sprout and the petals unfold one at a time until the flower can no longer hold itself constricted and simply bursts open in bloom.
Adamus in the last keahak brought up talking with the master. It is something I have written about and when I had clients, it was something I taught to hundreds of people.
In the space of divine will, I no longer need to have a "new energy" business to do this. I no longer need a business. At all.
These master - human conversations are also something Adamus introduced a long time ago in the book, Act of Consciousness.
I must say I was compassionately surprised people where not already talking to their master selves or inhabiting them in the body of consciousness since he has spoken so much about it.
I also have a huge compassion for Adamus being so lovingly committed to repeating himself until we all get it. Wow and thank you.
This conversation between the human and the master is so beneficial. However, there is a caveat. What I see with having to mechanize conversations with the human and soul is that it can go two ways or both ways.
It can coax the flower into blooming. It can be the water to the soil and the sun in the sky that supports this divine unfolding. If you allow it to be so.
Yet, if it becomes too mental, too forced - as I have seen in my previous client work for many years - it can be like trying to glue the petals onto the flower mechanically, without allowing it to simply bloom. The application of the materials is always up to the listener, the student, the sovereign. Yet, something to ponder in creations as well.
With compassion and from behind the short wall as I no longer take client work and can really remove myself, I see "masters" trying to build things instead of create things (through soul expression and for soul experience) in the same way.
These "creators" (who are really excellent builders instead) raise funds to buy petals and glue. They say their soul's desire is to have these funds to buy the petals and glue that is needed to create the flower. Really this form of "creation" is the human's way.
It's a conscious creation they say - one they are raising money for. Indeed, they are aware they are creating a flower, but it's fake. It's not really a flower, it's an illusion of a flower.
It is the "master" who still exists within the veils of duality and the idea that energy is needed to create. What does the master creator look like outside of duality, gravity, linear time and space and without needing building materials to manifest. What is the difference between manifestation and creation?
In no energy creation, you take a seed, one that you found while strolling peacefully on a walk. You plant it into the ground and say if it blooms that will be nice, if it doesn't, that will be nice, too. There is no attachment, no begging of the master, no needing to create a fundraiser for your creation.
If it's the divine will of the I AM, to express itself in this blooming flower, the seed will begin to sprout. Each day it will grow a little taller.
As it grows, the master does not feel attached to the outcome at all. It does not listen to or allow the begging and pleading of the human: "If I just had this flower, I will be whole. Please master make this flower bloom."
That's not how it works, and eventually the human surrenders its perceived control to the "All that is" within themSelves. The perceived human control does not even try anymore, It has found its peace in union with the I AM.
One petal in the bud will open under the glowing sun. The master may go on a long hike, gone for weeks, and then walking back down the path the master is surprised to find a fully bloomed rose bush to enjoy. He or she will say: "I had forgotten all about the seed I planted. What a wonderful surprise!"
The master laughs at the beautiful creative expression of Self - one he or she completely forgot about in the state of Being Enlightenment - and then sits down to enjoy his or her creation until it returns, disintegrates back into the soil from which it came.
There is no need anymore to continue to build things. To raise money or charge clients for money to buy the petals and glue for your flowers. In the state of being - which I define as perpetual becoming - something dynamic and not static - the flower simply blooms if it is the will of the I AM. If it doesn't, the master continues BEING enlightenment. And it is a wonderful space to be in with no identity attachments being a conscious creator, who is nothing more than a more sophisticated builder than their fellow humans.
Divine Will is the no energy creation is the ahmyo life is the ONE master and human, speaking with ONE voice.
Good morning, friends! This is a post I wrote for a Keahak forum and thus in their language not necessarily where we are here...
The following image was purchased and licensed - it is a painting of the creation of Adam or God's touch with finger, which is on the ceiling of a church in Thailand (February 28, 2015).
I chose it because you all know deeply the God, also. Looking at the image, for example, I see myself as both the God and the carbonized Adam. The God before it passed through the Wall of Fire to have the experience of a solid existence within the veils of maya.
As defined by Tobias via Crimson Circle, the wall of fire is the expansion of consciousness or knowingness beyond itself; a metaphor for the doorway leading from home into the void. The zone we crossed through going from the first circle of oneness to the second circle - place for human free will to play out among many other experiences. Again, more limited metaphors because it is so hard to grasp the sensation in words.
And then in realization, in embodied enlightenment, to experience the understanding, with a less than one-degree shift of perspective, that I actually never left the wall of fire, and as God, also, I am simply viewing my creation that is realization in this human form, too. More on that another time...
In my awakening and in my human life, I would continually - as a pattern deeply rooted in my gravity and duality laden sphere of awareness - choose experiences over and over again, and then subsequently look for creative solutions to make my way out of them. The cause and effect -- karma -- way of living. And my human self quite enjoyed it, experience junkie that it is.
I remember my twenty-eight year old human self standing at the altar of marriage. I could hear my soul - master self to some - say, "We do not need to go through this - again. You don't have to choose this."
The separation of voices has left but it was quite strong then...
My human stood there, stomping her foot and said, "I will have this experience. I know it will likely end in a divorce, but this is what I am choosing for myself right now."
I was that self aware and yet I chose this path of most resistance - again. But why? Why would I put myself into the proverbial crystal again? Oh yeah, to have the high of getting myself out of it -- once again.
Four years into the marriage, I knew I had to get out of this bind. I was in a horrifically limiting experience. The master self never said I told you so, but I certainly felt it's wisdom.
I called upon my gnost - the creative solution - to pull me from this experience. Oh, and what an experience it was! I created bigger and better this time. Look at me go:P
My ever patient soul, or master self, said, okay - once again. It created a path for me to find a really nice place to live, a high income that did not require a job or effort. And with some tears and grit, I created a doorway to walk through into my freedom.
It seemed so masterly at the time (and it was a path to freedom that served), yet looking back, it was just another loop in the experience and subsequent creative solution pattern to get myself out of it the experience I no longer wanted - again. Sigh.
Yet, once I was in the freedom space, instead of taking a deep breath and simply being in joy, I created more and more experiences to create my way out of.
I'm sure you can relate. Being broke, time and again, to see how, when, and if you pull yourself out of it. Getting into sticky living situations, karmic relationships, health issues...anything to feed the addiction to the experience - creative solution cycle.
In Keahak and the last Shoud, Adamus talked a lot about testing yourself - stop testing yourself and your worthiness. Well, I already had just in the last six months, linear time. But what I didn't understand, what I had not yet embodied, was WHY, WHY now do I stop diving into the pattern of experience and creative solution to free myself from the experience.
That answer, for me, is self-worth, a subtle yet with so much depth caress of self-love in the deepest parts of who I am, an exhaustion from the patterned cycle, and most of all, the ineffable experience knowing I am God, also - an experience that pales in comparison to anything my human could have dreamed up in its highly limited imagination.
Now I know why I stopped the cycle - the addiction to the local linear "Problem - creative solution format" that has been going on for eons and thousands of lifetimes.
The stop to the pattern happened naturally and without analyzation by my human self - it is only in hindsight that I can write about it - I stopped the pattern to experience creation embodied and my deepest desire for what I might describe as a sovereign peace - complete peace in the human form without needing energy from anyone or anything. Sounds so simple, and it is, but the depths of it are infinite.
Pondering it some more, living in human form beyond any suffering is the most radical creation I can fathom. To suffer is human, but if I am creating any last human experience it would be this one. This is the JOY....
As I pondered this in the tomb of awareness - the shower! - I asked my soul, my master self, my human and my I AM (what I am calling the Infinite I with one voice) what it truly desired.
There were no words, but if I had to pick them, they would be peace - not a human type of peace, but the peace that comes from pure joy - the joy of being - without being beholden to anyone or anything or any energy or any tie - also called the ahmyo life. PEACE - freedom from patterns, freedom from experience addiction. PEACE:)
And the magic in all of this is not a tool or trick and definitely not a complicated formula. The magic of being, of creation from being, is that creation flows like a cool coastal breeze on a hot summer's day across the "Infinite I" - the Infinite I being me as one without the multiplicity of parts - human, divine, I exist and so on and so on...
The creation comes in glorious waves to surf in the absolute pure pleasure of knowing I never left the wall of fire. In the divine perspective, I never became fragmented though the repeating experiences of thinking I was not one - yet they had served me so well.
The creation comes from seeing through the eyes of the divine and the eyes of the human simultaneously - the vision of the Infinite I. And, the waves are simply created from the joy of being, radiating from the Infinite I that is free of patterns, that has "recovered" from the experience addiction (another way to grasp at outside energy) and to create from the no thing.
I think about the physical action of swimming. One usually pushes off the wall of the pool or floor of the ocean to get the momentum to start swimming. In human existence, we would create experiences to get the energy flowing, to catapult us into the next experience. In creation, we no longer need the momentum, so we no longer need to collect human experiences. We simply swim in our own sovereign pool of creation.
I wouldn't be me if I did not add a human anecdote, yet I do so with a big ***** the human condition does not matter, when you have moved beyond the human condition. Not in just theory, yet in the space between the cells and radiating to the edges of your infinite consciousness.
In your terms, I have been "benching" a lot. Complete relaxation in the infinite Now, in the infinite Self.
I recently stayed at the Four Seasons - a very posh hotel - for the weekend. I had such a nice experience in self-love there, I simply felt a notion in the depths of me and in total nonchalance softer than a whisper that I should like to do more of that - in between camping expeditions, of course. My monthly income doubled the next week. There you go.
How did I do that, I wondered in hindsight. My wisdom said, "You swiped left."
Swiping left is a urban slang term for saying I am not interested. It took me some days to realize what that meant.
I swiped left on collecting yet another human experience. I swiped right for soul creation. No energy momentum or force needed. Energy serves me with out the need for movement, momentum, or force.
Now, some who might still be in the pattern of experience and creative solution, might lose that money as quickly as it came. In the space of cavernous self love, it simply multiplies. I do not need it. I did not ask my master self for it. I was not in the space of needing or wanting a creative solution to save me from an experience I no longer desired. I was completely in love with my current experience without needing the creative solution out of it.
Nor did I ask my master self for the partner in my life - a sovereign breath of fresh air. Not ever romantic or euphoric like the old karmic (cause and effect) kind, it has always been good. It has always been easy. There has never been a fight or a grab at energy. A steadily sublime experience.
I did not need him just like I did not need a massive bank account. I could have walked this planet with a backpack and few dollars and felt the same - for my depth is now found in the seemingly subtle - delicately complexly simple - rather than the harshness of the addiction to experience and digging your way out of the experience.
No highs (euphoric) and lows (devastated) -- IT IS SIMPLY JOY -- and there is no converse, or flip side of the coin, on that spectrum of awareness and in the state of BEING. Is it time to swipe left? Or continue swiping right to hook up with that next experience fix? Ah, it doesn't matter anyway. In honor of you!
Post script: After writing this post, I started to realize how this ties into the biological body for me. Am I continuing to choose another body experience of needing outside energy, of being not sick but not well either. How can I swipe left on yet another biological body experience and instead, choose creation of the body of beyond? Breathing...
Watching the June shoud with my partner in Poland, I was struck with the service Edith provided for those stuck literally in figuratively in their chairs. As a collective consciousness of beings choosing the embodied enlightenment experience, we often talk of patterns, limits, and moving beyond old beliefs, yet we rarely talk about the most terrifying thing of all - what happens when we move beyond them!
My friend Xanthe made a small comment that sparked a desire, a flame in me to talk about one of the most terrifying things of all - once you break those patterns and beliefs you will not have your "chair" at the party anymore.
Your chair, if you even have one anymore, is way out in what I somewhat jokingly call the Sovniverse. It's a place of true freedom, but also feels like it has no floor, no ceiling, and no relative bearing in the reality from which you perceived yourself while still in the limits.
This knowingness inspired the following post on social media...
" One of the rarely if ever mentioned facets of moving beyond limits of abundance or worth or any flavor of lack, is when you do so you also leave the perceived safety of a group consciousness.
As long as your still “getting there” you still belong to the group “on their way” to something that was never a destination but a way of being.
Without limits and lack, there you are in your sovniverse (sovereign universe of SELF) with nothing but you. Sounds so nice and it is but terrifying to the human to be so out there/ so in here that the group identity dissolves completely."
Someone responded that yes, you could be in the sovniverse AND in the groups and it is so true yet it's also so false, at the same time.
Right now in this experience of realization I find that I can swim into mass consciousness and back out without "losing" myself. Similarly, I can swim into a spiritual/ conscious group and maintain sovereign energy, knowing deeply what is mine and what is not mine.
However, there is a difference. The way I relate to others in groups like the Crimson Circle is completely different. In my lack, in my 'on my way to enlightenment' mentality I used to beLIEve, I felt a certain camaraderie - just like I did with my co-workers when I worked at a non-profit organization.
I do not feel that anymore with my human friends - although I love them and still hang out with them from time to time. But even more so, I do not relate to Shuambra anymore - not in the way I used to.
It's a very similar relationship I have to my singularly human friends and my mother. I love Shaumbra. I appreciate the company and the shared language of consciousness, but I feel no connection other than pure sight (I see you for who you truly are) to Shaumbra anymore. I no longer feel like a Shaumbra though I am deeply involved in the Crimson Council. Hanging out with a lovely human friend or a Shaumbra or my mom -- It's all the same to me.
And in that shift, the deep connection I had to a group - which was such a cool experience that served me so very well - no longer is part of my experience.
Getting there was terrifying at times as the group conscious was my safety net on days of doubt, days I felt like I might die, days I wondered if I had made the whole thing up. Plus, when a community feels you start to withdraw from a group, things can get real ugly.
When you say I don't need this group anymore AND in fact, my soul is deeply calling me to be alone in myself, people who still cling to the group for safety will react. Even when you know it's all about them and not you, it can still be quite unpleasant for the human. Yet, when you cross the Threshold, the fire breathing dragon takes care of it all.
In the soverniverse, you have no security blankets. I felt my human self trying to grab at a net - a safety net from any where - in this free fall. When I didn't find one, I threw my hands up in the air and yelled "whee!" Fuck it. This is what I'm here for. Not for friends, not for a group experience, I am here for ME!
You free fall until you create the bottom for yourself to stand on - or choose not to - allowing yourself to flail in unknown bliss within the GRANDness of our own Being-ness. Or more likely, both and a whole lot more!
In honor of you!
Lauren! Why are you harping so much on sovereignty and excusing yourself from group dynamics?!
Well, I didn't just incarnate here for embodied enlightenment. I came here to experience creation. Without total sovereignty, true creation does not exist. And that's a good thing.
As I wrote in the article, THE COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS OF SELF, there comes a time when it is more that appropriate to tap into your own wisdom, rather than the wisdom of a collective group consciousness. No more archangel families, no more Shaumbra family, no more star families - the age of the sovereign being - the Universe of You - is upon us.
Like I shared in this VIDEO of moving beyond the Atlantean implant - thinking you need to do anything as a group or be concerned about a group - and finding yourself with your fellow sovereign beings hanging out under the BANYAN TREE, or wherever feels good to you - then and only then can you become the true CREATOR embodied.
Why? Because you do not want to create from the group wisdom. Damn, did we try, especially in Atlantis...To be a true creator, one must stand on their own sovereign ground. One must know exactly what is their wisdom, discerning with a supreme precision what is theirs and what is not theirs. Without that sovereignty, without that discernment, your creations will not be your own, and it is likely that they will not be pleasant.
You can create on your own, of course, and there is the free space under the Banyan Tree where your creation abilities will be honored as sovereign and supported by the ascended and embodied masters who gather there - not to teach anything - but to sovereignly support you in complete honor of this amazing lifetime you created for yourself.
You can also read my CONSCIOUS CREATION MANIFESTO - from the Thirty Days of Self-Love. Maybe you want to write your own and share it here as well.
I posted this somewhat funny video on my private Third Circle page on March 8th but decided to share it publicly after seeing that many people understood what I was sharing. I was not strung up by my toenails and instead people really related.
Later someone send me a message that said Tobias via Crimson Circle also said that the Atlantean lifetime was the hardest aspect to integrate. I share that text here but had not read it when I made the video. http://gejirin.com/spirit/SPR_src/T/Temples_of_Tien.htm
Notes from the video...
AND - the most important things to add....
The more people in the third circle space/ under the Banyan Tree = the easier it is for people to get out of the molasses loop. In physics - the tipping point. Using gravity in our creative favor as more consciousness sits outside the molasses loop - something I wrote about in my new book.
Finally, until you find yourself outside of the group consciousness that is the molasses loop, you will not be able to experience true creation in your realized state. One must stand on their own sovereign ground - free of group identity or any identity really - to step into the Third Circle of creation. And to me, that's the best news ever.
Related article: The Collective Consciousness of Self
Photo from National Geographic
It was 8:35 a.m. on Sunday morning. Still drunk from last night, I was smoking a cigarette and drinking coffee on a corner of street in the New Orleans garden district.
The night before my friends and I had stumbled upon a 1920s style jazz band and stayed up into the wee hours of the morning drinking Sazarac and sour beers with our new best friends whose names we wouldn’t remember in the morning.
The sky was open, the air fresh and breezy – a breeze that would give way to an oppressive heat that would strike the city come June and not lift again until October.
I had checked Facebook and someone had mentioned there was a Shoud Saturday. Another was reporting on the latest human junk from the Crimson Circle Control Center. I deleted my Facebook page right then – not because I was upset, but because I found I could no longer care about such nonsense anymore. It was robbing me of my experience right here, right now.
I realized in that moment just how far I had expanded in the few years as these experiences no longer appealed to me. Enlightenment does not occur in a proverbial seat in front of a channel. It occurs on the New Orleans street corner the morning after a wild weekend with you girlfriends.
It does not occur in the seat of the student, but in living life as realization naturally unfolds while you’re having fun. The workshops and channels were just an experience to have, not one I desired, or felt passionate about anymore.
With the breeze blowing through my hair, I realized the only thing I had been seeking in these six short years of self-discovery was freedom, and I did not need to pay or listen to anyone else to claim it. The groups that were once so awe inspiring and expansive now appeared so limited and strangled I’m not sure how my shine had survived.
I AM. FREEDOM. I breathed with the New Orleans wind. As I mouthed the words, St. Germain showed up. He had a clip board in his hand and checked me off the list. Check, he motioned, and smiled.
“Who are you, fucking Santa?” I asked. And then we laughed. It’s not so much he dismissed me, but I dismissed myself.
I sensed he would not be back again for some time and that whatever soul agreement I had there was done. Every concept I helped write had made it into the materials published for anyone else to seek and find should they need it.
The dichotomy that exists between human control systems (organizations) and realization, free consciousness was now in the awareness of enough members that I did not need to push it anymore. The duty, the service, the legacy was complete. And now I can just live – no longer hyper focused on the realization out there, but the one I found, through naturally unfolding experience in here.
What seemed like a huge ocean to explore, was now a pond that was too small for my ship. I watched the ocean of consciousness-related groups shrink into the puddle of rainwater that pooled in the cobble stone street before me.
Into what ocean would we set sail next? All of them. I saw the experience Yogananda was showing me before I left Colorado once again. In this experience, there was a movie screen projected on my ceiling, with each swipe of the hand I switched into a new reality.
In the awake, experience, Yogananda was showing me what there was to play with – what there was to create and the opportunity to step into the creations and have that experience.
As St. Germain left, I was not wondering what I will do next. Instead, I was wondering how the hell I was going to fit it all into this last human life. No time to waste in the very small ponds, like Facebook groups and seats before a channel.
Speaking of which, Ryver will exist through March of next year. I enjoy your shares there, and I enjoy our conference calls, too, but I do not feel it will continue beyond March unless one of you takes the reigns to create it. I'd love to step aside and see someone take on the facilitator/ coordinator role, if its appropriate. It will naturally unfold...
I look forward to meeting in Vancouver and Italy. When I sense into the Banyan Tree and that creation, I see the energies forming to support that, and all I need to do is watch it unfold. It already exists. And, I will be there to greet you, whenever you visit. I am always there - enjoying my creation - our creation.
I will finish my Sar’h books as I promised myself, to write the story of my realization, which always comes to the same conclusion - realizing I never needed any teacher at all and that my soul was there allowing everything to unfold in perfection.
I see my creations extending so far beyond that one. The hyper-focus on realization/ enlightenment/ blah blah blah - what once seemed like commitment – now feels like the easiest way to limit yourself in this very special lifetime. Don’t waste it, my soul says.
Realization, ascended master worlds – all of that is simply a tiny facet of the radiating diamond that is you. It is my wish to explore that for myself and an invitation for you as well.
St. Germain once said everything is about enlightenment. I will add when you get there, nothing is. Thank you all for being here, sharing your sovereign journey, it’s been one wild ass ride.
If you signed up for the writing workshop, don’t forget to join us on May 15. Big love. Big Life.
Lauren Hutton (Sar'h) writes adventure novels and short stories about the embodied enlightenment experience. She fancies herself a humanizing divinity journalist and DJ, and shares that work joyously on this page.