Day Five: Alone Again, Naturally

Date: March 17, 2017
Locations: Waldport & Seal Rock, Oregon

Ollie and I woke up to the sun shining bright. In Colorado, a state with more than three hundred sunny days per year, it’s easy to take it for granted, but not here in the Pacific Northwest. It has been raining so hard for the past few days I thought I was going to have to call Noah to build another ark.
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It was a pleasant surprise to see a yellow object glowing in the sky, so I cut my writing time yesterday. Basically, Ollie was howling at the door, “Let’s gooooo!” So we did.

Ollie and I drove from beach to beach before our cabin was ready. We played in the sand. Ollie found some other dogs to frolic with. Oregon beaches are super dog friendly and a leash wasn’t in sight, which was welcome news. Let’s just say Professor Ollie does not enjoy a leash. That’s for dogs, he says. Clearly he is not dog - shush, don’t tell him.

We shared a really fresh fish and chips lunch and headed to the grocery store to stock up. Tea in place of wine and vegan in place of the road/ party food I had been living on for the past few days.

For those of you who do not know, in my soul sessions after the face-to face meeting, I ‘dream walk’ clients into a deeper awareness of soul and human communication. It is often easier to integrate and connect to the multiplicity of SELF while sleeping as we are usually more relaxed and less mental and emotional in the dream state.

Like dream walking a baby into this world or someone leaving the physical body, I walk humans back to their souls in life – in what happens in between – in the dream state. I usually do not like to drink an excess of alcohol, have sex with someone else, or eat animal products during this time. Then I go back to burgers, beer, and sex pretty quickly.

As I have taken two weeks off from any client work, I am my own client in my rented Seal Rock, Oregon cabin. I was my first client, and I certainly will be my last. I enjoy the return to self. I expand in dream walking Lauren and Sar’h, the voice of my soul, together once again.

“But aren’t they already together?” you ask.

Yes, and there is always so much more to explore together. Sar’h will show me something new from time to time.

“Show me that which is already there but I cannot see yet,” I tell Sar’h as I drift off to sleep. It’s always amazing what I discover with my renewed sense of human awareness.

Furthermore, I would say the most interesting internal discovery as of late is that the lines between human, soul, and facets have become quite thin. It’s not so easy to distinguish between the many, the multiple that make up SELF anymore.

Integration seems like the natural progression, so it feels quite good to have the lines blurred. Maybe that’s why it is so hard to go into a house full of thirty people. I can’t simply pull out the polite human facet and put it forth for the party anymore. That old trick feels much too fragmented right now. It’s concepts and realizations like these that I hope to dive deep into during the next week.

Ollie and I found our cabin late in the afternoon. It’s absolutely perfect. The windows look out to the gently roaring Pacific Ocean and neon green garden paths weave the property, where Ollie is allowed to roam free. He’s in heaven after being in motels for the past week.

Also, I’m going to be honest. I spent yesterday completely ‘energetically hung over’ from the shamanic gathering. It was not the single beer I had at lunch or the one I had with dinner. It was too much energy in one place, and many people not aware enough to hold responsibility for their energy.

Judgment free - how can I judge when the awareness is not even present enough to think about energetic dynamics and management. How can I expect someone to manage their energy, when they don’t even realize what they put out and what they receive? Back to honoring people exactly where they are without trying to change it. Ahhh, compassion feels so much more expanded.

In other communities, like those of you reading this, I am spoiled a bit. A higher percentage of you understand energy management and energetic dynamics. I am not going to teach that here but simply say all the energy you need for anything and everything is inside of you. You do not need to beg, steal, or borrow energy from anyone or anything outside yourself.

Back to the energetic hangover: I felt like I could barely function in the human world. I even wore my baseball cap inside the grocery store to block the energy of other humans. I’m all about making eye contact and chatting with strangers 99 percent of the time. Not yesterday. I was on OPE (Other People's Energy) overload!!! I haven't felt that in ages- not at this level.

So what does a master do when they are energetically hung over in a marijuana-legal state? This one started a fire in the hearth, got a little stoned, and opened up the cabin doors to allow the roar of the ocean to permeate the house.
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I breathed a deep sigh of relief and sensed gratitude for my magical cabin creation for the next week. It should be an interesting journey into the blurred lines of SELF. I look forward to what I might I discover as I dance in this grand space of awareness. I am so grateful I gave myself this gift of solitude. It truly is a pleasure to know me.
 
READER REFLECTIONS

Using the breath to bring awareness between all parts of the universe of you, consider the following questions. If you think you have done this already, then you already know how to do it, and can apply it to your current situation.
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• What does the concept - energy management - mean to me?
• In what ways am I filling myself up with energy?
• From what various sources do I gather energy and use it?
• In what life situations have I attempted to feed off the energy of others?
• In what life situations have people fed off my energy?
• How does energy management relate to the self-love experience?