Completely personal post. As always not teaching anything, simply sharing my inner world, and I hope you will share too your experiences.
Wow or holy freaking crap!!! The grand flashes of realization - a coin termed by Este on Ryver - will knock you off your feet if you are not steady in your Universe of Self, won't they?
Over here, they've been rolling in like mad, and I wanted to share one with you that 'started' in my human awareness last night and 'finished' this morning (because I made space for bliss!) if you view it in linear time.
If I see it through the eyes of the divine, all of this already happened and I'm watching it unfold in real time.
I can see BOTH so clearly - through the human and divine vision we have talked so much about here.
With each breath I take what was fuzzy in my vision becomes focused (a sense not mentality).
I have deemed it THE BREATH OF CLARITY.
Last night I heard the words from my soul - or now - integrated being-ness, "Your duty here is done. You have served well, and it's time to move to the next community - leap to the next destination on Babaji's enlightenment map."
For new people, Babaji's enlightenment map is a dark representation of the world he shows me from time to time where self-realization activity is shown by twinkling lights across the globe.
In the past months, I have been hearing less and less of the distinct human and soul voices and it has felt much more like a warm stream of consciousness flowing through the center of my being. Yet, for a big move, I appreciated this declaration.
My human facet already knew it, yet it felt so darn good to state it out loud and with clarity. And let's face it, sometimes it is a huge comfort to hear those words so clearly from the Source within.
My tenure in Shaumbraland is over. Sigh. I felt human relief and, most of all, I felt love - the kind that is in complete honor of an experience and those in it. What amazing souls I have seen and known and recognized from lifetimes. Truly grand. And, I am simultaneously passionate about my new life.
As I write, my friend Chris (from the Thirty Days of Self-Love) in Encinitas is out looking at a new place to give me the thumbs up if the energy is supportive. He is also Shuambra but out living it and not watching it on a computer screen.
I have been released not by my human self - who kicked and screamed and then surrendered in these last two years. In the gift of hindsight like Yogananda talked about recently, it was never ever the decision of the human.
Others might say if you did not like it, you can move anytime. In divine will of the God Self space, that's not so true, for me. My human cannot do what it wishes.
Even when it wanted control, my soul would allow the human to play, and then wait patiently as it came back home. The human integrating seamlessly with grace into the soul space and not the soul integrating into the human space. Together they inhabit this vessel that is some biology and more so light with every breath.
Now, the human doesn't want to leave the soul space or try to control anything. It feels safe and warm in this vessel of consciousness. The human is happy to serve the soul's will/ passion in such a beautiful way.
All those voices that pulled in different directions now all flow in the steady stream of the God-Self's unfolding creations. The voices may become one for a time, or they may become distinct, yet they are all integrated and in service to the God-Self, or master as some of you call it. It is such a wonderful sensation within I cannot begin to do it justice with words.
All of this doe not happen in linear steps, but for the sake of recording an experience and bringing the human along, I am breaking it down a bit more mentally....
I can see, sense, and know there is a blueprint in my soul that creates, rather than guides, my experiences here on Earth, and no amount of human bitching has been able to change that in any way - that was the sacred art of surrender I wrote about in October.
As an integrated being, the human no longer bitches about the blue print - that has passed. Instead, the highest authority in my life - my soul - released me, Lauren human facet, from this experience because we have the wisdom distilled AND because the blueprint within is taking me to our next stop on Earth. He/she/it said or declared with a gavel pound, rather, and in the spirit of its divine will, we are done here. Celebrate in softness and in joy.
Last night, I felt this overwhelming sensation of completeness in my bones that the reason I had to stay here longer than when I first wanted to leave was that I needed to be here through Prognost, to support that beautiful energy by being (not even having to say anything), which is why I am on this planet (it's not to drive a fancy car and fly first class, Adamus), and now I can move on being in another space.
If you think my concept of service implies I have not held sovereignty, I ask you to expand into the sovereignty that comes from the sacred art of surrender into the divine will of the soul or God Self. The one that shows you, ever so gently and ever so wise, the role you play or the expression of the I AM that is in the blue print of the soul. It is not who you are (none of this is) but how you express the I AM, rather, in physical form.
I know, I know... many here would correct me (man, they love to correct) that being in Crimson Circle was not about doing anything for anyone else, and that's quite true for most of them. It is not my truth, though, and I am the ultimate sovereign authority on my own experience. There's an AND I'd like to add.
For me I didn't need to do anything here. I only needed to BE - the human just couldn't remember that for some time with that maya amnesia (forgetfulness caused by the density of duality, gravity and linearity).
Everything Adamus St. G has shared, El Morya and my soul voice, Sar'h, already showed me, the human, well before I arrived in Colorado or Shaumbra-land.
I know many of you relate to already knowing most of this and it just being a reminder for the human. I am not alone, unique or special in this regard at all. So many of you here have already checked the ascension box and have come back here for another round, in limited human terms.
I simply had to go through it again, so I could write about it and leave my written legacy behind, El Morya reminds me of our many conversations on the topic. It is something I chose to do. To give me the vocabulary that would appeal to a new generation of self-realized beings. One that would make sense to the modern world.
Now this Colorado/ Shaumbra experience is done for me. What a wonderful experience watching my human self and the others around me embrace the master, soul, GodSelf into their lives and finally becoming it.
And further, I was not here in Colorado for only me (I could be out in the ethers having a party - I already did this), yet I held a passion so deep and still do to sovereignly support others in the God-Self realization experience that for the past two years this was the place to BE it and to express and connect.
It was nothing the human would expect. There's no thank you's or recognition in holding a standard, in being an example. In fact, if your presence opens people up, they will not thank you. Most will hiss at you. And that's okay.
In this integrated state, the recognition would feel really in discord with my state of being. I only bring it up to note that letting go of the human need for recognition was one of the most intense experiences I've had in this lifetime.
Today, right now, I am a joyful bowl of laughter and honor for each and every person I came across here. When you see through the eyes of the divine, beyond the human junk, there is nothing left but the radiating soul gems of each person I came across here.
Service is something I have never shied away from. When I sat with Babaji, Yogananda, and El Morya (and Mark - he just reminded me) last night AND I was in the radiating space, we hummed, we om-ed, and we breathed those deep, delicious breaths of clarity. All the way into our next stop on the enlightenment map:)
"Encinitas!" Yogananda exclaimed - his hermitage is just down the street from the potential place I found yesterday.
I smiled big. "Surf's up, dude!"
For clarification, I am not directed by the masters who sit with me - like you here who talk to them too - they simply reflect back to you your GodSelf. Yogananda is not telling me to go to Encinitas, California for a mission. He is saying, "Lauren, your God-Self says with every fiber of its being that this is your next place to BE."
I hope that makes sense that these wonderful beings never give directions to the human, yet reflect back the God Self within.
I had another breath of clarity and divine sight...
Those who are firmly rooted here in Shaumbra-land - not the un-rooted vagabond souls just passing through - they are about a decade away from expansion if you looked at it from this space and time - AND that could change. It's not set in stone.
In this vision I saw self-realization represented as a tall, thick totem pole made of all sorts of animals. And in my third eyes vision, I see shaumbra (no faces, no names) running around the totem pole.
They point at it. The talk non-stop about it. But they never actually touch it. They don't embrace it. It sits outside themselves because of illusory limitations that simply don't exist beyond the veils.
Yet, we all know you cannot tell someone this, and it's certainly not my place, nor would it change anything. Being the standard now, means moving on. I do not need to sit in this jungle anymore. There's another one waiting for me.
Part of my vision also showed me the "trickle effect" as Sar'h called it.
When leaders of an organization play in the mud of gossip and control, it trickles down into the whole system. There's no way around it. It permeates and it stinks like hell, making everything else stink that touches it.
The human thought we might be here to change that. No, in this service experience, all we were here to do was observe it.
Simply breathe, be, and observe. It really was that simple, and my human made it so freaking hard. It's laughable now. I'm having a good chuckle at my own expense. :P
Removing the veils of maya while laying in my bed last night I saw a golden road before me. Yogananda stood on the side of the road smiling and glowing...
"All road blocks cleared. California here we come," he said with pure joy.
Tears. What friendship really looks like.
It's right here in my home. Heart explosion.
The gold- bricked road ended in Encinitas, California. That's where the next chapter of my life of service (yep, I said it without a disclaimer - kiss it) will begin. I will carry this space with me, of course, and the Banyan has no geographic location.
But I am done with all outside channels, especially the Crimson Circle (there's no judgment from me and it's totally appropriate here if you are not - this is a personal post).
I talked with someone on Sunday who has some years on me in this space, who shares in a similar way, and she shared how she stopped listening to channels about three years ago. She said she no longer needed her "fix."
Truly, as addictions disappear from my body of consciousness, listening to channels is the next to go - to make room for so much more. LIVING IT.