Taking Time Off: The Absence of Identity

First of all welcome Nici - we met at a workshop some time ago, and she recently emailed me voicing a lot of what is occurring in here. She joins us both on the website and Ryver. Honored for you to grace this space with your presence, Nici! Truly!

Speaking of Ryver, that's going to be your goto Center of Being place for the next couple of months. I have literally been writing almost every day on here for a year. March ninth was the start date last year!

And, I'm going to take some time off posting here - but for another more important reason. We will continue the conference calls per request AND of course, the Banyan Tree meetings. Next new moon: March 17th!

Here's the main reason. My soul whispered to me yesterday,  "June, in June everything will change - like at an expanse where you won't like what you have written before it." 

"Well, okay. Didn't we just move across three states, sell a house (closes on Monday- woot!), integrate an Atlantean implant and go through the karmic/ as central release thing with shuambra AND publish a book? Can I have a break, please????"

As you know here, we define being as perpetual becoming - it never stops - it is a dynamic, expansional experience and long after we leave Earth, we'll expand beyond our Earthy experiences into so much more. 

A friend here recently asked me does enlightenment happen in stages or is it an ever-expanding experience of the soul without clear stages like aspect integration/ threshold/ etc?

I would say, for me, the later, but because the human is in linear time - stages is a linear time concept - and we are bringing the human along it can feel like a phase or stage. Plus, in the workshop world you can't just shove it all into one. 

For example, El Morya says he continues in his state of perpetual becoming - only he is more aware because he lives outside the veils of maya. Yet, we still are here in physical form. 

So I asked my soul to clarify in a dream and man did it suck. 

In the dream, I was with someone - a female I do not know in this life - and we became really drunk (in this case a symbol of unconsciousness). I blacked out and when I came to I had all these tattoos on my body that I could not remember getting. I was able to get rid of a few of them with a conscious swipe of the hand but some stuck. I can't tell you the fear and anxiety I had while in this in the dream - palpable.

When I woke up, I realized the tattoos where representative of identity - identities that attached to me when I wasn't paying attention. Some were easy to get off and others clung onto my wrists. Even a letter from the tattoo artist saying I needed to be more aware....

Publishing a book and being on Facebook this week, identity has been a major theme for me. The writer identity coming in strong. It doesn't feel like ego, and I am certainly unattached to sales etc. But writing goes so much deeper to me. 

One night when I was nineteen or twenty I almost overdosed on drugs. I knew if I passed out, I'd be gone, so I kept myself awake. That's when I heard my soul voice say, "you will write books that help people, if you stay here on Earth. Is that what you choose?"

It kept me alive through the experience, and stuck with me - of course. So "Writer" goes well beyond ego and into a deep part of my consciousness. 

Also, being back on social media, I see 99% of comments and shares are reinforcing identity - mostly the I'm so conscious hear me roar identity. I am not exempt. There's absolutely nothing wrong with any of it. For me or for others. 

What my soul is asking me to do now is examine who I am beyond identity - sure, I have done this before and you have too. But I'm going to explore it in the uncharted corners and depths of my being. Going down the spiral into the depths of my being-ness.

Speaking of body and the silly exchange between Xavi and I, I also see myself still indeitified with my body. Not how it looks, but the Earth it is made from - the biology of it. "A biology addict," my soul said. 

Sar'h keeps telling me it does not matter what you do or do not do with your body right now - that is not going to make human sense - she says this so clearly because in this next phase (to the human, not the soul who lives beyond linear time and dualistic constructs) we are going to integrate the body - just like I integrated the human in my recently published book. 

For these reasons, until June when this is all going to happen according to the voice of my soul, I'm going to relax into the experience of knowing who I am beyond any and all identity. I will keep notes and journals, possibly make a video, but my soul says not to share any of it until June because my views and how I share myself with the world will change so drastically I will not be the same voice. 

It's quite strange to keep the Facebook author page going and dive into this experience but I am simply going to be putting book material out there and less in the group/ identity-clinging space (again, nothing wrong with reinforcement - I am simply embarking on a different kind of journey). 

The human body/ biology as an identity is something I have been pondering a while now with no clear direction or ability to share, so as a writer and human, I sure hope I find words. Sylvia - I get why you couldn't find words on the last conference call. So understand now.

See you on Ryver, under the Banyan, and on our next conference call whenever that may be. 

Also, under the Banyan this month I invite you to explore BEING beyond identity, if you choose. Or simply stop by and have a dance outside gravity. What fun?!

Please keep commenting, posting, and interacting while I'm on "vacation" - HA!

So much love and gratitude,

​Lauren