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Taking Time Off: The Absence of Identity

3/10/2018

10 Comments

 
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First of all welcome Nici - we met at a workshop some time ago, and she recently emailed me voicing a lot of what is occurring in here. She joins us both on the website and Ryver. Honored for you to grace this space with your presence, Nici! Truly!

Speaking of Ryver, that's going to be your goto Center of Being place for the next couple of months. I have literally been writing almost every day on here for a year. March ninth was the start date last year!

And, I'm going to take some time off posting here - but for another more important reason. We will continue the conference calls per request AND of course, the Banyan Tree meetings. Next new moon: March 17th!

Here's the main reason. My soul whispered to me yesterday,  "June, in June everything will change - like at an expanse where you won't like what you have written before it." 

"Well, okay. Didn't we just move across three states, sell a house (closes on Monday- woot!), integrate an Atlantean implant and go through the karmic/ as central release thing with shuambra AND publish a book? Can I have a break, please????"

As you know here, we define being as perpetual becoming - it never stops - it is a dynamic, expansional experience and long after we leave Earth, we'll expand beyond our Earthy experiences into so much more. 

A friend here recently asked me does enlightenment happen in stages or is it an ever-expanding experience of the soul without clear stages like aspect integration/ threshold/ etc?

I would say, for me, the later, but because the human is in linear time - stages is a linear time concept - and we are bringing the human along it can feel like a phase or stage. Plus, in the workshop world you can't just shove it all into one. 

For example, El Morya says he continues in his state of perpetual becoming - only he is more aware because he lives outside the veils of maya. Yet, we still are here in physical form. 

So I asked my soul to clarify in a dream and man did it suck. 

In the dream, I was with someone - a female I do not know in this life - and we became really drunk (in this case a symbol of unconsciousness). I blacked out and when I came to I had all these tattoos on my body that I could not remember getting. I was able to get rid of a few of them with a conscious swipe of the hand but some stuck. I can't tell you the fear and anxiety I had while in this in the dream - palpable.

When I woke up, I realized the tattoos where representative of identity - identities that attached to me when I wasn't paying attention. Some were easy to get off and others clung onto my wrists. Even a letter from the tattoo artist saying I needed to be more aware....

Publishing a book and being on Facebook this week, identity has been a major theme for me. The writer identity coming in strong. It doesn't feel like ego, and I am certainly unattached to sales etc. But writing goes so much deeper to me. 

One night when I was nineteen or twenty I almost overdosed on drugs. I knew if I passed out, I'd be gone, so I kept myself awake. That's when I heard my soul voice say, "you will write books that help people, if you stay here on Earth. Is that what you choose?"

It kept me alive through the experience, and stuck with me - of course. So "Writer" goes well beyond ego and into a deep part of my consciousness. 

Also, being back on social media, I see 99% of comments and shares are reinforcing identity - mostly the I'm so conscious hear me roar identity. I am not exempt. There's absolutely nothing wrong with any of it. For me or for others. 

What my soul is asking me to do now is examine who I am beyond identity - sure, I have done this before and you have too. But I'm going to explore it in the uncharted corners and depths of my being. Going down the spiral into the depths of my being-ness.

Speaking of body and the silly exchange between Xavi and I, I also see myself still indeitified with my body. Not how it looks, but the Earth it is made from - the biology of it. "A biology addict," my soul said. 

Sar'h keeps telling me it does not matter what you do or do not do with your body right now - that is not going to make human sense - she says this so clearly because in this next phase (to the human, not the soul who lives beyond linear time and dualistic constructs) we are going to integrate the body - just like I integrated the human in my recently published book. 

For these reasons, until June when this is all going to happen according to the voice of my soul, I'm going to relax into the experience of knowing who I am beyond any and all identity. I will keep notes and journals, possibly make a video, but my soul says not to share any of it until June because my views and how I share myself with the world will change so drastically I will not be the same voice. 

It's quite strange to keep the Facebook author page going and dive into this experience but I am simply going to be putting book material out there and less in the group/ identity-clinging space (again, nothing wrong with reinforcement - I am simply embarking on a different kind of journey). 

The human body/ biology as an identity is something I have been pondering a while now with no clear direction or ability to share, so as a writer and human, I sure hope I find words. Sylvia - I get why you couldn't find words on the last conference call. So understand now.

See you on Ryver, under the Banyan, and on our next conference call whenever that may be. 

Also, under the Banyan this month I invite you to explore BEING beyond identity, if you choose. Or simply stop by and have a dance outside gravity. What fun?!

Please keep commenting, posting, and interacting while I'm on "vacation" - HA!

So much love and gratitude,

​Lauren

10 Comments
Xanthe
3/10/2018 20:52:10

I so love what you share in this post and the whole no identity thing. I certainly can relate, for it is and has been my experience this perpetual becoming. And the more I experience this movement, evolution (hard to find the apt word) the more I love and feel such a sense of ahh bringing more of me here. It feels like a relief. And yes bringing the human along it may look like stages I think, though it’s hard for me to discern them in this moment.
Playing with identity, loosening the hold of a particular identity, etc. was certainly served for me when I did an acting course my first year back in Sydney. So much fun. If for nothing else (yet there is multiple reasons) the main I enjoy not having as much to do with family these last couple of years is because of the limitations of the expression. Which once again comes back to it matters who is in the room. I can be myself, yet it is limited within the context, so the desire to be there small.
There is so much to say on this no identity, to explore and I love that you are always true to your self and your journey. ♥️

Reply
Nici
3/10/2018 22:19:19

Thanks for your kind words Lauren! I too feel honored to be part of this group. Interesting that you are taking some time off at the same time that I am joining this space which it is so enriched by your writer's identity, myself being a huge fan of her :)

Also fascinating that you posted this message today, as just this afternoon I was having the same sort of realization, going beyond words, as I waked for hours in the woods with Master Java, my dog :)

Almost lost in the feelings, there was this thought of not being comfortable with writing more in groups because a lot of what seems true today may (and most likely will) no longer be true tomorrow. Along with the changes in my biology, my voice and I continuously move, even faster now... there is expansion and there are radical shifts in perspective which in a way makes writing/publishing pointless from the personality/writer identity point of view. It is like cementing ideas that are intrinsically transitory in nature. Without mentioning the limitation of the words, even if I tried to express myself in Portuguese, my native tongue.

Having said all that, I do love reading what my soul friends wisely share. Your writings in particular, I find it so incredibly beautiful that you have no issues with sharing both your humanity and your divinity without filters, not afraid to change your mind, to retract or express seemingly opposite facets, ever so honestly, with so much integrity.

Enjoy your 'vacation' and your 'next phase' Lauren! I will sure enjoy reading about them when the time comes... much love and gratitude back at you ♥️

Reply
jacqui salsby
3/10/2018 23:35:12

thank you ! .. Interestingly Lauren, this last post feels like a comforting hand in mine .. reflecting back to me that all is just as it should be
.At the moment Im feeling as if i dont belong anywhere really , either with people or places .. yet at the same time aware of an openness to change /move /meet and adapt , knowing deep inside that its ''just for now'' .. a movement through and towards the next ( life ever expanding ) ..... In a dream just last week, i dreamt my belongings and handbag were stolen ... and it occurred to me , that letting go of identity , doesnt happen in one go ... having physically in the past year had my bag stolen , computer hacked and earlier, before i moved , the house was broken into , and the ONLY things stolen were my computer/purse and phone !!- so with this recent dream .. It seems i still have 'buttons''- to get rid of !!-also , taking time out and pressing the pause button, is for me like being a seed under the warm earth .. ready for new growth .. its such a natural 'step' it happens with no will involved... a pause before the new..
AND being in this group is also a place of warmth and safety to prepare , discovering we"re all experiencing these movements... it really is a comfort .
I love your freedom of expression and appreciate so much your openness and spontaneity Lauren ! <3

Reply
Maureen
3/11/2018 10:32:44

Gosh Lauren I can't wait to hear about that experience. I can sure relate. I can feel little pieces of identity emerge around simple things sometimes. However, when I notice it, it disappears. Paying attention is so key. As the others have said, I, also, honour your integrity to self with every expansion.

Reply
Nataly
3/11/2018 10:43:51

How interesting Lauren. I have been feeling this "pause" or "break" in social media and overall, over the past months as I have written in your previous post.
I am still in FB and I do post sometimes but I can feel something has changed. Not sure if it's leaving behind the identity or I am doing it for the sake to be with myself and in my world( with my dreams, my cat, my family and my new activities-but this time not from the escaping human perspective) or maybe are both.
But lately I do not want pay much human attention of what I do or what I do not. I just want to LIVE whatever means for the moment.
As you Soul has said, "everything will change". I am feeling the same, everything in my life is changing every day, there are days that believe me "makes no sense what so ever" and the next day I feel in completely bliss, tranquility and peace and the day after day it is something totally unexpected. Literally, there are days I feel I am bipolar. Even my husband just the other day told me that he has no idea what has happened with me in this past two years...I took it as a complement!...haha. Many parts of my identity has been dying slowly and it is very obvious for my family. And currently, I feel another parts are dying. But I feel when one part dies another one, a new one rebirths. Like the Phoenix! And probably this new ones also might died but in the moment I am enjoying it and living it.
Have a great vacation!...I might see you in Europe. This morning I woke up from a dream related to it. Hugs.

Reply
Lauren
3/13/2018 10:08:01

Nataly! Thank you for sharing and being here:) And you know I love a dream story - send it in an email if you feel like it.

Reply
Boggy
3/11/2018 15:30:04


I embody - strictly for my experience, and fully honoring yours - that identity is somewhat of a human reference while the human allows itself as a vessel of the divine will, of the soul; and while the human knows that it has to give up hanging on to whatever identity concept, by allowing it to become, from its ultimate frame of reference, safe space and control, entirely shifting as the soul blows the wind of change and experience and distillation.

Indeed, being beyond identity or dancing outside gravity - an experience of no energy physics :)

Is the writer an identity or a human facet? I'd like to know what you feel as a difference between these 2 operating concepts of human experience. Anyway, writing as a mission to allow and support realization of Gnost in humanity is a path that honors our soul and nearing the end of its journey through lifetimes.
And I think we all understand and support your presence on social media as a channel to channel the wings of the GodSelf towards humanity :)

I fully welcome your writer identity, and I am a lucky son of a being :)) to witness it in all of your soul's greatness.

This center of being and a wide part of our connection has been forged through the fire of your expanded consciousness. Our lovely human moths are just drawn to it, while attuning to our own fire of enlightenment. Your call, as a call of the soul, remains magnetic all over the world :)

Reply
Sue
3/12/2018 17:36:13

Beautifully expressed Boggy, and so true.

I love this:
' This center of being and a wide part of our connection has been forged through the fire of your expanded consciousness (Lauren). Our lovely human moths are just drawn to it, while attuning to our own fire of enlightenment. Your call, as a call of the soul, remains magnetic all over the world :)'

Reply
Lauren
3/13/2018 10:06:43

Hey, Boggy, sorry I'm late:) or right on time. Thank you so much for your notes and for sharing here and joining us under the Banyan. An honored and welcome addition. :)

Reply
Patty
3/15/2018 20:12:48

Wow. That's all I got. :)
Thank you for doing this work (this profound becoming) which reverberates through the "matrix" and eases the way for all of us.

Reply



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