I received the following reader request. It has been slightly edited for brevity and anonymity...
"I was reading a thread in a post where you wrote that you choose to never dim your light in any setting."
(For context, I wrote on a Facebook thread I was once told true humility was never dimming your light to fit into any given situation.)
I got a bit confused I must admit, I was guided to dim myself in places I go that is pretty dark, which can be as a self-protection mechanism as to not be attacked.
I am of course taking this up with my own soul master self (Right on!), but I am curious because I don't want to create any attacks, and I know if that's the reason I will get attacked.
I also know that by shining my light I cannot be attacked everything just go into distillation as the light is the I exist.
But I also know that people get scared of this light. I also remember that Adamus said that people who get scared of it are running away, and YES they do. Others stick around because they are drawn to it from their inside.
Is it possible to ask you to write a post about your view on this?"
Yes! This is a topic that has plagued me for many years and many lifetimes. I, like many of you, have often felt too big, so I shrunk myself as to not cause a stir. I also felt punished for being so big (or expanded) when I finally had the courage to BE my big self.
It seems to me also that this phenomena is magnified online. It seems, especially lately, that in online forums, people tend to be more vocal and aggressive than they would be in face to face contact.
After publishing my book and being my BIG SELF online, I lost friends. I lost many friends. Their actions seemed to say, "How dare she shine?!" and I took it personal.
The thing is nothing - absolutely nothing is personal. Anytime someone is triggered, it is showing them places within their body of consciousness, within their Universe of Self, where they can expand. It creates a crack for the light to come into the unexplored parts of themselves.
When we are triggered by someone's aggression or retreat (retreat is also a trigger response), it is showing us the tight places that call for expansion within us as well.
In this context, any "explosion" or collision of our body of consciousness with any one else can be viewed as a huge gift. It is the gift of awareness. The gift of knowing where we can expand even further into the GRANDness of who we are.
I am finding when we allow the action and reaction energy expenditures they return to neutral energy quite quickly. In opposition, when we try to suppress or control actions and reactions ("I am not supposed to react."), they become magnified.
It comes back to the sense of focus. For example, when I first published my book and started this Patreon page, I found when people responded to what I wrote, it was so important to me, in my little world. Positive or negative feedback - it didn't matter - the reactions were hugely important.
Then as I softened my sense of focus, my view expanded, my multiplicity returned. Someone's reaction to my book (nothing but a small act of consciousness), I found instead of a tidal wave the reaction felt like nothing more than a ripple in my body of consciousness.
For me now, the tidal waves were a huge gift - the best gifts - as they opened up pockets of awareness within me, ones I had not seen for years or lifetimes.
If you are on this page, you already know discomfort is an awesome experience because it means we are expanding. It's the caterpillar becoming the butterfly - the snake shedding its skin. The discomfort is necessary in the transfiguration.
So my response is always be your BIG SELF. No longer in fear of the reaction - with the expanded awareness - with the softer focus, any triggers are like beautiful packages to unwrap from our soul.
"Soul, what is this uncomfortable experience showing me? What wisdom can I distill from it?"
Being "out there" is scary. We have been programmed for hundreds if not thousands of lifetimes to shut up and blend in. In this last lifetime, or one of the last, in human form, you don't want to look back and see that you did not live your full self life for the sake of not "hurting" someone's feelings.
Every time my "feeling were hurt" I did not allow it to harden me. Instead, I became softer, more aware of all the facets of my BEING-ness. Although I was probably crying big crocodile tears through it, as I am an avid crier.
Now when someone criticizes me or leaves this Patreon page with a huff and a puff (rare but it happens), it is but a mere ripple in the ocean of ME.
On the other side of the coin, praise is deeply honored and appreciated - immensely honored and appreciated - yet it too is also a ripple, rather than a tidal wave.
My human no longer needs to derive energy from the approval or disapproval of others.
Many, many human derive energy from being pissed off, from the disapproval. Then they can shout about being the victim. It's an effective human way to get some momentum going in their human world. I know from vast experience:)
"I cannot believe so and so did such and such..." - Such a worn out story for me, yet I was pulled into it a few short months ago.
Praise is an even more seductive mechanism of deriving energy externally because it also feeds the human ego. I would say there is nothing wrong or right about it, only that staying within the space where everyone agrees with you is not always super supportive of us learning, or remembering rather, to create energy from within.
For me, both are still occurring. I am still deriving energy externally and internally, although I feel the external energy sources slipping through my fingers like sand on a beach.
That's why I talk so much about cigarettes, beer and food - they represent this shift from external fulfillment to internal. It's just an example from my personal life. Something for the human to comprehend...
Additionally, we can always go back to the art of discernment - what serves and does not serve us in any given moment and understanding it changes in any given moment and any given reality.
For example, being in a critical, aggressive community taught me so much about myself. Now, I don't need to have that experience. The light came in through the cracks already. I am so glad I had the experience.
Furthermore, my sharings and offerings to this world are no longer a choice. There are no longer the questions... "Should I share or not share? What will people think? Is it safe?"
Yet, there is discernment in how to share. I am learning I can radiate without having to put a sign on myself that says, "Hey look! I am radiating!" And I can have a god laugh about when I did that. Why not laugh?! It all served. Every ridiculous human act served me and continues to serve me. Humor is optional, but sure helps.
Back to the point...Now my soul offerings flow from soul unfiltered, and the reactions of others are none of my business.
I would have to shrink myself into the dualistic world to care, and it's too energetically expensive. My human recently tried and gave up! My human finally realized it can longer paddle up the stream of SELF. It doesn't want to anymore.
To the person who wrote this (and to myself):
You know deeply (soul-level gnost) that it is no longer a choice to share your soul self. In BEING, you cannot, or will not, dim your shine for any situation. You simple ARE - YOU EXIST in all your radiance and grandness.
Your human, like mine and many of ours, is simply catching up to this way of BEING. We can resist, or we can breathe and allow the discomfort to flow through undiluted and with honor for the wisdom is distills.
That truly is the MAGIC of BEING.
In magic there is no dark and light. Magic is neutral and lives outside of gravity and duality. And as soon as we learn how simple it all is, even the magic of the experience distills into wisdom.
For me, I'm savoring the unraveling of the mysteries of the Magic of Being, before they too dissolve into the source from which they came - the wisdom of God (SELF) - and are no longer a mystery but an "Of Course!"
What's going on with you SHINY, SHINY souls?