Finally catching up on reader requests. Please note the last post sent too early from my phone. It has been updated, so you'll need to read it on the website. Thanks for your patience!
One patron recently asked about being open to a romantic relationship after many years of being alone and how it looks in the Triple E.
That is something I feel I can share. However, I'd be the last person to talk to about long-term, making things work, or sticking it out in relationships.
I will also say I've attempted human relationships and that was absolutely impossible for me. I can't play "human" and can't hardly talk human anymore.
Being alone was my natural state of being even in my human life. I only had one serious boyfriend from age 25-28. I was married to him from 28-32. I swore I'd never do it again. And I meant it.
Since my divorce and going through these major shifts, I attempted to stay open to relationships but nothing lasted more than a night or a few weeks.
I will say the "romantic" experiences did at least scratch an itch and at best, I learned a lot about myself and my patterns from each one.
And, then it became too energetically expensive, too much of a distraction, and I declared myself done.
That's right when it happened - when D showed up (and another wonderful person and I ended up having to pick, yet there was never a choice...).
In my life movie screen, it seems about four months ago, I pretty much woke up with a companion while walking the Camino de Santiago.
We met at a Crimson Circle workshop in May 2016 and talked through text every now and then. Something shifted on the walk.
The words I would use: deep understanding at the cellular level, respect of one master to another. He saw me for who I really am. I see him beyond any layers, only core.
Of course, four months into this does not make me an expert, but here's what I have learned about myself in the context of a "new energy relationship" - I put that in quotes because the only "real" new energy relationship is with SELF - no one else.
*All my personal, unique soul experiences- never advice, never criticism- Please share your experiences below*
For me, I will not be in any relationship (friendship, business, romantic) that requires hard work. Just like in any creative expression, hard work is a signal for me to turn around, to re-route.
So many people love to talk about how hard their marriage or whatever was and how they made it through it. That has never resonated with me, although I honor the experience without understanding it.
This relationship is really easy. The only minor hiccups have been sharing living space with other people who were integrating, so I have decided I won't do that anymore. I need my own space, and the only person I can share it with right now is D.
After living alone for all but seven years of my life - I did not even have college roommates- people usually bug the crap out of me. It's beyond explanation how I am never annoyed with him.
But it's new, you might say, it will get hard. So what?
If it's hard, neither of us can or will do it. Neither of us is capable of force or fight anymore. Again, I can only be in a relationship of any kind that requires no effort.
Soul expressions of honor, compassion, and love require no effort at all in any kind of relationship.
Next, the only kind of commitment that exists for me is to my self-realization. I'm not interested in other men, only in putting me first.
To be with someone who does the same, holds self-realization at the highest priority, is the only way for me to be able to have this experience.
I cannot have a partner who is not self-sufficient and self-aware. I tried too many times to be with a human- at the expense of my own health and wellbeing.
On a practical level, I do not have typical manly man experience - D is not going to defend me (he literally contains no force).
He is not going to give me accolades publicly, like on Facebook, or serve as a cheerleader.
My ex husband did these things, and they all came with a cost and a big fat story. Thank goodness we don't have to repeat the Adam/ Isis roles.
D knows that there's nothing to defend, that accolades feel cheap to me, and that the resonance from his Being is way better than any words shared.
We also split the costs of everything and take turns with human tasks. So helpful. Whoever is grounded enough and who's brain works enough, gives it a go. 😜
I don't have any words of wisdom here except if someone shows up in your life that causes a spark in your soul, why not explore it with expanded awareness?
If you still enjoy sex, do it as much as possible before the desire to do it goes away like other human pleasures have.
Furthermore - to the person who asked and maybe others - you have learned so much about yourself these past years alone. You know how energy works. You know what you will or will not tolerate. You are too soul intelligent to be bamboozled by the swaggering karmic driveby that once could have wrecked your life. It's not going to happen. You are simply too YOU!!!
Also. I will share my deep inner knowing. Relationships for me will never be life long. I transfigure too quickly and won't bend and certainly won't break for anyone else.
When I sat in the initiation with Master M in 2013 and he asked if I wanted to be a vessel for the Will of God, I knew it meant giving up anything and everything in the human world that kept me from it.
As long as we are both evolving, as long as it's easy, I will stay and enjoy it. When it comes time to part it will be in honor, after that I'm going to spend a good long while by myself.
In the meantime, making love is exquisite. As long as it feels that way, I'm in.
If you feel called to, please share your "new energy relationship" take for your fellow friends curious about diving back in...