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My Shoud Experience: Walking the Tightrope of Compassion and Discernment, With Ease (Finally!!!)

1/7/2018

24 Comments

 
Picture

Has Adamus St. G been visiting this space?

Yesterday was important for me. I told Xavi in a private conversation I feel I need to be able to walk into any situation and not be bothered by it. To hold my space, and not take on the junk of others (which is not really even theirs). 

Energy is simply communication (from Keahak). I love that. It is so freeing. People (objects and well everything communicate with energy) and then we can decide if we want to invest in that dynamic or relationship or not. 

Energy is just communication. It allows the SPACE for compassion and discernment. In judgment and the human "need to be right" there seems to be very little space. The space of interaction becomes crowded with emotion. 

And...in my visit to the Crimson Circle yesterday, nothing felt crowded.

Linda hugged my partner in front of me and said she was glad to see him and never made eye contact with me. No emotion. No right or wrong. Only observation. The house guest I had who had gossiped about me - she was pleasant enough but her posse friend group snarled at me like dogs. No emotion. So much space. And a little internal laughter. 

Truly what an amazing feeling to watch all of this as energy communication and nothing more. I cannot stress the FREEDOM of that. I was able to smile and nod and be polite to everyone with compassion - seeing through the eyes of the divine.

I too was once involved in the gossip of who should we ignore and who should we snarl at such events. What an exhausting game I used to play. I can be polite and acknowledge people and then discern where I want to invest my time and energy. Also, I had some nice conversations with those who also held the open space. It was easy to find them in the crowd. 

My Shaumbra friend down the street called this the annual "God" shoud. Indeed, the first shoud I watched in February 2015, Adamus spoke of the same things. Yet, there were some Magic of Being nuggets, too. If you had the eyes to see them, and the ears to hear them. 

I always want the microphone at these events. I love to share. And, it has never happened and will never happen. 

I asked Adamus, while he was standing on stage, why I couldn't share on the microphone. He said, "You are not a Shaumbra. You have never been a Shaumbra." Then their was a pause and a laugh, and he added, "...and that's a 'good' thing. You don't need this. You are supporting this when you choose."

Meh....

I also was shocked he used the word beLIEve. Come on. If I had the microphone I would have said:
"I don't believe in anything but I KNOW God." 

Truly though, as you all know, knowing you are God, also, in an experience and not something he or anyone can teach. 

In this Should, I found it quite funny that he covered things of which we have gone into depth here over the past few months. In my last post I talked about building vs. creation. He called it evolution vs. creation and stated twice and firmly: 

"True creation has no agenda. True creation has no agenda." I summed that up Friday in this POST, on Ryver, and in the Keahak forum. Excuse me Adamus - that's copyrighted! :P

I found Adamus' message quite opposite to the big shout out to the Masters Hub movie, which is clearly building, not creation. Yet. I am not stating that as a judgement. I am just seeing it for what it is.

The energy being communicated from the Masters Hub right now is the total opposite of no energy creation or true creation as Adamus called it yesterday. It is pure building with perceived human will which is falsely labeled as divine will. 

Someone sent me some of the posts on Facebook about this coaching cafe since I am not on Facebook. This is no judgment, yet the words simply felt very big, yet very empty. What in the world did these words mean?

I'll admit my human is a bit sad. I love Sandra and Jonathan and it's not fun for my human to say, "No. I will not be a part of this weird human building experiment. And I honor you in your experience you have chosen." 

The thing is the Masters Hub does have an amazing potential to operate in the divine will space if the human control and obsessive need for human recognition and flattery and money, money, money could be set aside.

I have sent two letters of honor and compassion to both Sandra and Jonathan stating that their grand potential and possibilities could really be a creation rather than a strip mall building. I have not heard back, nor to I expect to. 

I don't need to be right, I don't need to convince anyone. I did my soul's passion to illuminate a potential, and then I have stepped away in compassion for their experience and discernment knowing I do not want to be a part of that experience. 

They had asked me to be in that film and I am so glad we had not filmed it yet because there is no cell in my body that wants to be a part of a strip mall building. A creation? Sure. 

The GLORIOUS thing is I can see myself in all of this. Guillem, you said it best, and correct me if I mess up your words. It is like watching all my old aspects acting out a play on stage. There is the need for attention and recognition aspect, the aspect that needs to be paid big bucks for their expertise, the aspect that cannot resist any opportunity to promote itself. 

It was only four short months ago that I was allowing these aspects to run wild in me. That's how I can have compassion. I am really truly not that far away from my own experience there. I am a babe learning to walk gracefully in this divine will space. 

And, I go back to the space I talked about above. Compassion - the Masters Hub is having its building experience where the raise money to buy petals and glue for the fake flower (reference to last post) and over here, we are not. It's that simple and there is no right or wrong about it. It is experience and expression and who am I or we to place judgement on that. No. The discernment is just a sign to pull my car out of their driveway - that's it. 

In the shoud, Adams laid out some rules or imperatives. The first was one of ours here, which we have extensively been talking about: GOING BEYOND LINEARITY. If you have not watched the Shoud, you might just fast forward to that part because it fits in so well for our experiences here. I also have an experience to share next week on that. 

The other was there is no longer room for processing. Adamus said when filming master's life five course he could not share what he wanted to because the heavy processing got in the way. Don't buy that one, wait for Six on creation:P

Here at the Center of Being, I sense we are at about 88% over this whole processing thing - maybe more. Perhaps it is why many of you felt called to this space, and I felt called to create the forum. The forums of the old were all about this incessant loop of complaining. Sure, state it once, get it out, and move on. 

I can see in myself how I allowed emotion and concepts of how people should be treated (that's human duality) seep into this space. I would apologize, but that's so human. Instead, I'll just take another step forward - or backward, rather - into the space where such things don't matter. The hissing, the gossip, whatever. So over it. Blah. Boring. Let's talk about non-linearity and moving beyond the veils of the Cosmic Illusion of Maya.

Truly, I can't believe I spent so much time and energy on worrying about other people!!!

Further, I will note, it has been so helpful to observe to discrepancies that plague the channel world and the "conscious" organizations out there. It was important for me to observe with passion how people can say one thing, deliver a message and live another way. I needed that experience without the judgement-laden human in charge. 

In my divine will space and in knowing who I AM, I will never ever share anything with you or anything from El Morya and other contributors that I do not actually live myself. It's not a promise - again, so human.

It is a sharing of a deep inner knowing of the point of no return within myself that I simply cannot live in the Maya anymore. It's too boring, and it's simply time for another adventure, heading backwards toward the future already lived. 
 
I/ We have so much coming up....

...side effects of going beyond the veils of maya
....allowing a physical space to bloom without agenda or effort (learning curve!!)
....ways to bring the human along in the non-linear time experience
....articles from Este and others on their embodied experiences (so excited).

In honor of you!
24 Comments
Guillem Torras
1/7/2018 10:50:13

I said in Ryver this: “I'm watching the news and for the first time in my life I'm seeing this whole CC thing as an aspect of myself. It's inside of me. Feel like that today. Enjoy!”, meaning while I was watching the news I felt grander than CC. I saw it for the first time as a part of me, while I had always seen it as an outside authority to give much credit to. For many years. And no longer. I’m tired to watch Shouds. I do it because I have nothing better to do. A part of me wants to watch but there’s another part that is sick of it. I’ve told Adamus several times that as far as I am concerned, he can leave now. But I do understand if he’s still here it is because I still need him, or we still need him.

Today after the shoud yesterday I feel different. Energized even though I have a hell of a flu. I feel my body like in freedom, and energy running through my etheric/physical spine, if that makes sense. Let’s see how long does it last… Don’t want to analyze it, grr, just allow and allow.

I can’t even look at the posts in Masters Hub these days. I had not seen the promo video of Rude Awakening until yesterday in the shoud news. I feel so neutral and flat about this whole Masters thing. I don’t even like the word Master, if I tell you the truth. Am I a Master? Fuck the label, I AM GUILLEM.

Reply
Karen
1/7/2018 10:57:05

I relate so much to what you have just expressed Guillem! Especially the last lines of using labels. My human mind wonders "where am I at in this enlightenment thing", and I know that is just a human curiosity, because I am where I am, I am being and I am becoming. So I join you here to say I Am Karen.

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Lauren
1/7/2018 11:01:06

Guillem so much yes. I too felt neutral about the whole movie thing although it has brought a few compassionate laughs in our household. It was a big "win" for me to feel neutral. Two months ago I would have been emotional about it.

Xanthe brought up recently that she did not resonate with the word master either. Indeed, it has lost all meaning for me and become a bit strange and twisted. I AM LAUREN & I AM HERE:) Thank you.

I see you both. GRAND undefinable beings that you are.

Guillem
1/7/2018 11:38:33

Yes, Karen, being and becoming :-)

Guillem
1/7/2018 11:40:19

Thank you, Lauren!

Guillem
1/7/2018 11:19:34

But of course I do honor Sandra and Jonathan for everything they do <3

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Lauren
1/7/2018 11:39:42

Indeed - honor. Just not my circus and not my monkeys. I am enjoying the show from behind the short wall with my popcorn, peanuts and a party whistle for the dramatic climaxes to come. :)

Christiane Welk
1/7/2018 10:59:56

Hi dear Lauren. I saw you and Damian in the crowd yesterday..you were definitely looking more at ease than the month before.ISo Iam a shoud watcher: now it is becoming more a distraction to me, a reminder , like a fun and warm hug I give me as I experience quite intense moments .Since the wings series started a part of me is asouned for Adamus seems to repeat what he mentioned month or years ago....only for a moment i felt surprised.
I feel the diffrence in "building vs creating:part of me wants to jump back to Masters Hub and take part, then my Soul saysNO ..The human gets challenged, trying to go back to a job for money only, or get a business for money( actually nothing is working in that direction, what a surprise!!)...Deep within there IS the wisdom of my Soul, MY WISDOM telling me through sensing that it is not what i have chosen..I KNOW IT: i have chosen to TRUST MYself so deeply with no interference or effort in old ways needed, knowing that all flows into my life: I actually just have TO BE. I know it for long. yet now it feels like its grounding deeper and deeper. I appreciate beeing here, reading all that you and everyone shares.

Reply
Christiane
1/7/2018 11:09:13

Thank you so much for sharing. I see for others they may want to be both - building stuff masters in the masters hub (hold no temptation anymore but did) and they may want to simply BE. The question is can we do both, exist in both worlds?

Sure, if they want to, AND, for me I cannot do both. Anything that takes me out of BEING is not supportive right now.

I keep going back to the Tobias information. You will want to have human fee will and divine will. You will want the benefits of both. But it does not work that way, he asserts. I'll take this divine will experience AND I honor the choices of others whatever they may be.

I had a vision of Adamus as a parrot repeating himself just now and had a good laugh. He says he will be here until people get it, even if that means repeating it all a thousand million times.

Yet, we got it the first, second or third time. Don't need to hear it for the 112th time. Thank God. So much compassion AND...

I'm glad you are HERE and sharing. I am in such HONOR of your journey and glad we know each other from in-person meetings as well, It's a gift.

Reply
Lauren
1/7/2018 11:19:24

The above is my (Lauren's) response comment not Christiane's - sometimes I type in the name I am responding to on accident....

Karen
1/7/2018 11:04:40

Lauren, it feels very human to say "congratulations", but , well, I am also human, so congratulations. ;) Being able to walk into that environment and see the energies as communications and stay in compassion...what a great space to be in. I too desire to hold that space wherever I walk. Had a bit of a chance to do that this morning when I decided to send an email to one of my least favorite brothers to wish him a Happy Birthday. He represents right wing "Christian" american republican and all that goes along with that, so an opportunity for me to see through the eyes of the Divine, and just acknowledge his birthday.

I like the list of topics you ended this post with. Looking forward to those.

Reply
Lauren
1/7/2018 11:14:16

Thank you so much for sharing. I'll take the congrats as it has not been easy as you well know. Congrats to your human facet on the brother birthday from behind the shortfall:)

Reply
Xanthe
1/7/2018 12:13:06

Lauren your words speak so clearly to my own experience of compassion and discernment as lived experience. Because I did an acting course a couple of years ago I have taken to describing it for myself as if walking on a movie set and I pick what I want to put my attention on.
When this first happened to me, spontaneously, I recall wandering if I was dissociating as the situation was so extreme in emotions, yet I felt I was watching a movie and lol I even said that to my friend at the time (it was her two adult children fighting).
I felt that with the creation re Masters hub, yet had not found word but I like yours building fits perfectly. But then that precedent was set with the 44 or project a few years back with CC. Nothing further to say with that.
I simply like you, love walking the tight rope of compassion and discernment, choosing what and with whom want to play with....such a delight it is.
I don’t listen to the shouds so don’t have anything to add re that, yet excited talking more about non-linearity and yes love the expanded space we have created here. So delighted to be a part of it.

Reply
Lauren
1/7/2018 12:49:59

And the human need to belong is overcome with the soul's passion to become. Being - perpetual becoming:)

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Xavi
1/7/2018 13:41:22

Thats is one thing I have to apply to myself. Love it. Thanks.

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Xavi
1/7/2018 13:40:20

Wow, I've learned a lot from myself with the post and all the comments.

It is curious just yesterday, before the Shoud I was remembering that years ago I always told all my acquaintances and myself that I was Shaumbra; and when I remembered this I realized that I did not feel like that anymore. I asked myself "I am still Shaumbra?" I take note to keep it in Consciousness to wait for an answer and I move on.

Reply
Lauren
1/7/2018 16:39:53

Xavi - I want to know how that turns out.

Reply
Zabrina
1/7/2018 14:57:49

I have to say this made me smile. Inner chuckles. Lauren you know I have never been a part of the CC, yet have still had much exposure. This is what it is, for whatever reason it is. A couple years back the energy came to the hotel where I work casually. It took the first visit for me to feel much of what you write of now and that is without any physical contact with the hosts of the CC. Didn't need to. Still, I maintained an open mind and have valued the wisdom that has been passed along. I even caught myself using some of the lingo because then it felt like I kind of belonged, even though I didn't want to belong. Doesn't really make a whole lot of sense when I write that now. A part of my own journey :) Big Love

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Maureen
1/7/2018 16:27:38

Well Done Lauren!! Did you sleep well that night??
I like the feeling of neutral and have felt that way more often lately when in gatherings.
I feel the difference between creating and building and also honour when someone does both. I have nothing to reference as far as creating from divine goes but I would love to hear from those who do.
I watched the Shoud - mostly because I cancelled my other plans for the afternoon due to headache - I don't resonate with his questions - don't really understand why he asks them and don't really care to understand. Mostly I just tap into the nuggets and feel the connection with Adamus. A few shouds ago I felt like I was there more as a support than a participant. I seem to go in and out of that feeling - one month I do and the next I seem to get more out of it. I still feel SG as a friend and it is nice to see how my perspective has changed - I get to notice this each time I watch a shoud. I really don't feel 'matched' to it like I used to.

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Lauren
1/7/2018 16:39:26

Yes, I slept like a baby and I feel so light and not congested today. Really we can never change others and instead have to change our perspective for US. I am so glad I did so. Huge relief and I don't have to keep putting myself in these situations.

Also, I feel nothing wrong with building. I just don't want to do it AND it still bugs me when people build and call it creation, but that too will pass.

The Q &A is always heart wrenching for me...Thanks for sharing.

Reply
Susann
1/7/2018 16:53:13

At the beginning of the Shoud Adamus said, that it is not one third SG, one third Geoff, Lind & Stuff and one third Adamus. It is 100% of each. - After saying that, something in me said, ok, I choose SG to tune in - and for me it was a very personal and clearing Shoud. ... mmhhhh maybe it still has something else to do in me that likes to hide things ... but I will listen to it again and decide to tune in one of the other two options... at least I feel, I should have more fun with this thins and be more playful and do not see everything so seriously.

I have the same feelings about the masters hub. I could also sense a beautiful potential for the Hub. At the moment it feels more like a personal coaching space for me, than a free masters gathering place, which is ok, but I dont feel attracted to the moment to it. Maybe later again.

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Lauren
1/9/2018 07:18:26

Susann - what you said about only focusing on Adamus St. G really struck me. In the year of listening to the materials before moving to Colorado, that's exactly what I did, and I loved it. Not as easy in person, but this time - my last shoud for the foreseeable future - I did the same. There were so many nuggets of wisdom for me, for this space, and I hope to go back to "your" way as linear time moves forward and I back up into my embodied enlightenment space. Reversing into the future decided. Thank you for your words, so supportive.

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Raphaelle link
1/8/2018 03:09:33

Dear Lauren, as always thank you for this space!
I deeply can feel and love the discernment between building and true creation. Between allowing creation to happen from soulpassion, without agenda, vs. planing, working and forcing things into reality. I see that those principles A named as Ahmyo life are identical with the basics of creativity and art (those artists commited to express divne will, mostly without naming it so) And there comes the point where I stumble again and again : connecting with my soulpassion I hear loud and clear that it is time to step out of hiding, to start to share! It is so I started creating a blog, without knowing what I will share and with who, to find my many ways of sharing. So what happen: the agenada comes back though the backdoor, as building the ground for soulpassion became the agenda. And of course this goes beyond comfort and the human fears and limitations, so sometimes it feels like effort, as work, as you surely experienced also with your physical creations in the last years. Or not? And if I dont go into physical, if I stop when it comes to the point when physical action beyond human fear and layness is required, labeling it building and effort/ what sense does it make to even stay in physical?
I watch this line moving also with Sandra and Jonathan, I see both of them truely commited to their soulpassion and then it gets kind of twisted by human will force. Remember very well the moment on the chair you referred to the other day, and feel that it changed a lot, Sandras energy changed a lot, softening a lot.
Phuhhh, lot of writing... did you get my questions?
The years before I stopped everything from my professional life, that was always connected to healing, therapy and art, because I felt it gets poisoned when the need for money comes in. That was a good thing to distill, to get to the roots, to make my way through all those layers of fear, basicly to die and to die to find the simple soulpassion within. Surprise, it goes perfectly together with what I learned in this lifetime. And all the physical basics are gone, except a old car I use a lot and a flat payed from social welfare. If it comes out that I am constantly travelling I go to jail , sound and feels like a joke,}haha,really}.
Maybe even this wish or dream to have a professional life that is completely independent from Income, or income that is independent from work/expression also is just human will- wanting to escape the density of this reality? Really, I would love to hear some outside insights on that.

Reply
Lauren
1/8/2018 04:31:27

Raphelle, your comments and questions are so insightful I am going to write a whole post on it. Will post it soon.

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