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Memoirs of a New Master: Joe's Story

12/5/2017

11 Comments

 
Picture

These stories are in the format of the book, Memoirs of a Master by Adamus Saint-Germain. I love reading this book from the perspective of a new master, and the learning curve that comes with it - rather than the perspective of a student - although I can identify with that as well. I have written it in third person to make it clearer for me. 

It was 2014, and the New Master, Sar'h, still held some of her human qualities, one of which was a desire for human romance. So Lauren accepted dates as they came up, but the same story line always played out. 

On her first date with Joe, he had told her his mom had left the physical body recently. He said he knew there was life after death now from his experiences, and he knew there was much more to the Universe that what man saw with his two physical eyes. 

"That's nice," Lauren thought. "I can be myself. He is aware."

As they talked and went on further dates, she noticed the roles changing. He saw her as a teacher - someone to learn from. Each date ended up being a session of sorts in which Joe asked questions about the nature of enlightenment and Lauren answered them as the Master. 

Lauren had told Joe about her relationship with El Morya. Instead of inquiring what it was like for Lauren and how it impacted her life, he wanted a reading from El Morya - right now. What did El Morya have to say about his life, about his journey? Lauren was not seen as a person, but as some sort of oracle or free teacher/ healer/ guide.

Lauren told Joe it was not appropriate to ask her such questions, and that El Morya had nothing to share with him. 

"You are doing alright on your own, Joe," she said. "Everything is unfolding in divine perfection."

Joe became angry. "I want to see him NOW. Make him appear."

"Well, Joe, El Morya doesn't appear on demand. In fact, he never appears in the way you wish to see him."

Joe had said he wanted him or any Ascended Master to appear in such a physical state "you could bounce a quarter (coin) off of them."

The notion was insulting and ludicrous. 

The more he went into his human need to see an ascended master, the angrier he became. 

He begged, pleaded, and then demanded that Lauren teach him the ways of the magus - right here, right now.

He was so desperate, Lauren tried to show him some ways to connect with his own wisdom. 

His own wisdom - fuck that - he wanted answers from a master! And he wanted them now!

The angrier he became the more Lauren began to sink into her mastery. She had given him a pearl and he had cast it before the dogs and the swine. (See related post)

The master, Sar'h, sat and watched this all patiently, allowing Lauren to learn, or remember, something or many things, rather.

First, dating was not going to be a part of this enlightenment lifetime. Sar'h had pointed out every single boyfriend she had experienced. Each and everyone thought they were attracted to Lauren physically, yet each demonstrated that they sought her awareness, her light more than anything. 

Sarah asked Lauren, "Have you ever been on a date when you weren't "helping" the man out, answering his questions, and providing solutions to his spiritual crises?"

"Well, no, I have not, not since I became aware of who I AM," Lauren replied. 

It was that neediness from others who did not know the kingdom was within - again.

You could tell them a million ways they did not need healing, readings, workshops, or anything external to know they were God, also - but it never sunk in. Their eyes would become hazy when she talked about the kingdom within. These men where not even capable of understanding that - very few were - she knew this from other lifetimes. 

When Lauren did not give them what they needed, they would go to someone else for energy - someone to stroke their egos, so to say. 

In 2014, Lauren had been so blinded by the need to belong - the human desire to be desired - that she continued to accept dates until one day, she realized what was occurring inside of her. Then she stepped back into her mastery. 

"Lauren, dear, you are never going to have a boyfriend in the human way. I watched with compassion as you put yourself in these situations over and over again to show you something. It's time to move on," Sar'h said and continued... 

"The master has to give up perceived human comforts - and there will be many more to renounce with joy - and one of those is fulfilling the human desire for a boyfriend. I know it sounds harsh now, but one day you will realize that was some old aspect playing in human free will who needed that boyfriend, not you - the master.

The boyfriends know enough to see your light of awareness, but they will never match you in awareness in this lifetime. Not only boyfriends will fall away, but also your need for any external energy force. I know you cannot see it now but one day you will not even need to eat to live, to be. You won't want to fill yourself up with wine and cheap talk as you do now. You will relish in being alone on a Saturday night. 

You have come to the fork in the road in which you can now leave this pattern of trying to find 'the one.' You are the ONE. You know that. You always have. 

As for the rest, continue to live your life. Continue to feed on your addictions whatever they may be. Allow them to run their course, just as you have in dating so much. One day very soon, you will wake up and not desire a single thing outside of yourself."

Lauren didn't know what to believe, but she trusted Sar'h, and she knew she was right at least on the dating.

It had been exhausting. Every man wanted something from her - not her body, but her inner light - and that was not something she could give. She had given her soul to another man in another lifetime, and after twelve lives had finally reclaimed it. (Another story for another time.)

Lauren was lonely at first, and then she started to realize she was not alone. Instead, she was in the company of masters - ones without physical form - but ones who knew how to be a friend without needing anything from her. It was a steep learning curve, but one Lauren was happy to experience. 

Lauren's desire to become herself had trumped Lauren's desire to belong - once again.

It was not a pattern she needed to repeat. This time she was honest with herself about the nature of her own needs and the patterns they created, keeping her from her mastery.

And indeed, Lauren did not know it at a human capacity then, but in 2017, she would wake up not needing food, wine, the company of human friends or boyfriends, or anything from outside of herself. 

It was and is beyond Lauren's wildest human imagination as most things in mastery are. 

Step of the edge, and you will fly, too. ​

What human needs are keeping you in the patterns that hold your from claiming your mastery? Can you be honest in your answers? 

11 Comments
Lindsay
12/5/2017 08:06:45

Thank you for this Lauren. I'm right in the middle of letting go of that need for a relationship as well. Dating is not going well. The men enjoy my company and want to keep seeing me but I am finding myself bored and uninterested. I've been blaming it on not having a real connection with anyone but I'm now realizing that the only connection I'm wanting is with myself. It's been very painful and challenging
to disconnect from getting love and energy outside of myself but I find I have no choice at this point in my experience. The only love I really want is my own.

Reply
EIril
12/5/2017 11:42:04

Great post and topic, I am agree to Lindsay, I go for me fully. I also feel that I could write a similar post as you Lauren. I was sharing so much of me in my relationships. I have been with myself for a long time I have been going through grief and frustration and loneliness and smilles reliefs and almost relationships and then I have been the one backing off... I see very quickly the old fpatterns in myself and in the other.
No more of that.

But Honestly I really miss being intimate with a partner again.
To share Love and share life experiences.
So I need to be a bit more serine with myself doing my alaya.


Reply
Eiril
12/5/2017 11:43:54

fpatterns LOL
:D

Reply
Juls
12/5/2017 11:42:49

Thank you for this illuminating story Lauren!

It's very resonant for me and in my face big time now as I'm looking at and recognising, with compassion for my human, all the needs she has and how they have kept her stuck for some years.

Been gently untangling myself from this long term relationship for some years, didn't want to shock us both, that has also spanned many lifetimes together too!
In this untangling I am reclaiming more of my myself and I am realising so clearly now how much I have been keeping an energy balance for Steve and how that has been affecting my biology as a sensitive empath.
Interesting to observe as I'm preparing to leave the effect it is having on his mental and physical balance.

It's so time for me to release this big fat story, can't play in it anymore :) but also cathartic to see if for myself as I share!

I've been aware of my human need to hold on to the comfort, better the devil you know kinda thing, and practical support of this relationship and the drama that at times accompanied it, as the other relationships in my life had changed and were fading away.
The need also for financial security that came with it too is still a concerning need but I'm letting go of the worry of this and just know the solution will come.

As I am becoming more of me, being filled with my precious wisdom, I am feeling these human needs and fears are beginning to fade and I am relishing this new and beautiful love affair I'm discovering with myself, the one I've been searching for this lifetime!

Reply
Xavi
12/6/2017 06:30:13

It took me a while to write here. To put you in situation, I divorced my 9-year-old partner at the beginning of the year. One of the things that I realized recently is that I do not feel lonely inside. Before that, I always felt that something was missing and I was looking for it outside, as it has been the relationship of 9 years that I had. Now, not feeling lonely, I do not have the need to find a partner outside to fill my gaps. That is a big leap for me. To do not feel lonely inside.

This does not mean that from time to time I miss my former partner and think about going back to her or even looking for another. The other day I wrote that every time I was less interested in women and sex and as if something wanted to prove me I've been thinking about it more than ever (one aspect).

I am very aware that the part of me that wants to return to that, is an emotional aspect that feeds on this. That is, if it does not get what it wants, it will cease to exist as it does not receive more energy from me. So these emotional aspects, or false identities, always try to impose themselves. This here does not touch, but it is what Lauren has written in the post above about the emotional aspects. In her enlightenment she has integrated them and the emotional component has disappeared. It is an essential part of the Enlightenment. Dissolve the emotional aspects, or the Free Will.

Going back to the main topic, I am very aware that I would not be allowed to experience the Enlightenment while I was still with my partner. Simply because I already tried in the past and she does not like at all. So in order not to lose her I postponed it. Until I understood that I could no longer postpone it and that if I wanted to allow my enlightenment or at least have an opportunity, I should leave her.
To a greater extent I have already accepted, or rather I have resigned myself, perhaps half the means, that until the embodied enlightenment is completed it is a process that has to be done alone. That does not mean that once its done, like Lauren, we can not have a relationship of the sovereign type as she has already spoken.
The irony of this situation is that the first human to be enlightened on Earth was an Atlantean called Althar and he got it thanks to the support and love of a woman, Echnatara, who in turn was ready to allow her Enlightenment and was helped by Althar later on. It is a beautiful and tragic story at the end. The origin of the Atlantean wound.
In short, the first humans to allow the Enlightenment supported each other, it seems that we have to do it alone. Besides girls, there are not so many men enlightened for so many enlightened women. Almost all the members of Shaumbra are women. The numbers do not come out. Ha!

Reply
Lauren
12/6/2017 09:43:49

Wow - you are truly an alchemist - taking the shit and turning it into gold. I see people - shaumbra included - who are delaying their enlightenment every day they stay with their partner. There is no rush to enlightenment - no race - yet there still is no awareness that they are doing so or what the consequences of their actions include. Further, it's the same consistently seeking a partner and constantly seeking enlightenment. If you are always out there looking, you are not focused on the allowing required for the Triple E. Having a partner and looking for one are the same - massive distractions. Sure you might integrate an aspect or two together, but then it is soul time to move on. Pearls of wisdom. Thank you.

Reply
Xanthe
12/6/2017 13:02:35

I love this post!
This year I started dating for the first time in 9years, out of curiosity mostly and to see what it would be like and it has been fun and equally much no thanks, walking through remnants of old, subtle and yes lots to write about...but right now I want to get back to an essay.

Reply
Lauren
12/6/2017 13:55:21

Xanthe - thanks for being here and sharing. If you ever want to share your essay - assuming its all about embodied enlightenment - our Ryver community is a safe, support and fun place to do so. I'd love to read it.

Reply
Xanthe
12/8/2017 11:29:54

Thanks Lauren, I will check out Ryver community. The essay was on supervision so not so much on embodiment but I have much to share, simply little time at mo.
Meanwhile I want to share how the day I expressed on this post I went on a first date with someone and it was the most effortless experience of Self with a man, of two people being together, simply enjoying the moment. There was as much speaking as not speaking, as we spent most of the day walking around Sydney. There was no need from either of us, seeing, being seen.

Jean-Pierre
12/6/2017 13:59:57

I have never been put face to face with my needy human like I am today, the tree that masked the forest of real intimacy with all of me, all the sharings here have brought so much light for this insight to happen.

Thank You

Reply
Christiane
12/6/2017 15:25:24

Hi, beautiful wisdoms: The need for a relationship other than mine with mySelf is fading( showed up for a shorttime this summer). I can not imagine nor do I feel the need to be with someone, while i am just heading diving into a very intense experience of SELF into my life. Intense challenging to be honest and in the same just simple raw when i get the human out of its critics. Some moments like Eiril said where I would really like to feel the physical part with someone else....and it passes by . And I love food even if it changed a lot..appreciate mostly very simple natural and mostly once a day ..I allow to follow my impulses ..and that can be everthing. :)

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