Good day, friends!
First of all, those coming to Italy we will have a breakfast buffet and sit down dinner on October 2nd. Damian and I have confirmed 24 people attending the dinner (includes wine) and 21 for breakfast (includes coffee). The cost will be about 20 Euro for both or less. Please try to have exact change for that and your space in the house.
Shared rooms are 61 euro per person and single rooms are 122 euro for both nights. Damian and I are both having money collecting 'dreams' so come ready to chip in. Much appreciated and thank you for your patience with us and the Italian way of planning, which is non-existent.
This is not fully formed...but what I have been realizing for myself is that I have not been allowing love beyond what inside myself (which I needed to experience too). I have been focused on rocks, wounds, over analyzation (or deep exploration that was needed, depending on perspective) of sovereignty and old stories.
In being so focused on these things, I forgot how much you all and all my Shaumbra-faceted friends love me. The outpour of notes and people who genuinely want to hang out with each other (and me - wow, really? Tear of the good kind!) has been overwhelming even beyond this page. I had no idea. Really. I love you all back. Thank you.
In the end, we have no past and no future. We can hang, suspended in beingness and just enjoy not worrying whether we are in a club, not in a club (or we can go the other way and really dive into it - why not? Everything serves as David O'Brien once told me oh so wisely along with reminding me I don't need those boundaries so firmly in place - thank you! AND, I also value the other side of that too - We can just honor it all, no?). That flick of the reality we choose to explore is always available.
With no contract in place, I can go hang with my friends and not care what else goes on. Choose your own adventure experience. Trying something else on for size. Allowing everyone to just be in their own multi-faceted, multi-sensory reality without drawing any kind of hard lines. Old habit of mine that died hard.
This does not discount my experience or anyone else's in a deep letting go. Each perspective equally as valid or real is the next. I'm just going to swipe left for a moment and see how that goes. Going into playing and allowing this exchange to occur without focusing on "what's wrong with it" or drawing lines. Just knowing instead, where I'm being lit up and if I'm choosing to be lit up or not. It doesn't matter.
In this moment, right now, I cannot think of a better thing to focus on than something beyond love. Just hanging out with my friends in all the beauty of their varied and deeply unique states of being. If you felt dragged through the mud on these last few posts, I apologize (sort of).
The no stone unturned deep allowing of more of myself in was really going on inside me in such an amazing but also deeply painful way, and I was so glad I spent the last week or so in the woods alone.
I'm ready to go to that space beyond love and just share a celebration with you all. I can go back to being super serious later:P And you know I will....
Like noticing until I really truly let go of any and every wound, I do no want to create anything, because I'm not bringing that all into my creations, especially not a house!
In honor of you and your uniqueness! See you there in Italy, Slovenia, or over yonder.