As a great experiment or a joke on myself, I decided to post the below post on the Crimson Circle facebook group - I have expanded below. More so, it was about expressing my passion for being without boundaries, and I was taking the temperature of other Shaumbra who also may have experienced sovereignty beyond a conscious/ spiritual group identity.
Surprisingly, I received an overwhelming response and the only person that got ugly with me was someone in Colorado who makes it her life's purpose to get pissed off at anything and everything. She posted that she was laughing at me and 'bye, Felicia!' - too funny and lacking in creativity. If you're going to berate me, at least be fresh and creative! :P These things breeze past me these days. For me, the post was a huge humbling realization to realize what I was experiencing in Colorado was not mine. If I was poking fun at anyone, it was only myself. I am the butt of my own jokes - always. Further, I was surprised to see a note from Robert Theiss who posted it in his new facebook group, Masters Unplugged. In this forum, Robert will share free bi-weekly information related to walking as a master in this life. I have not watched anything from him ever, but in my conversations with him (expansive), I am interested to see what he shares there. If you would like me to add you to that group, let me know. Karen had asked me on Ryver if I felt that I was playing a divine/ soul will role in my time in Colorado. Indeed, I felt that I was and that I would not have played the role so well if I had not lost sight of my self sovereignty. When I go back to my experience, when I left, the three wisemen came and did a deep bow in my honor - Kuthumi, El Morya & Dwal Kuhl. I was flabbergasted because that has never happened. What they seemed to be saying is - "Lauren, we understand how hard that role was to play, how much it sucked for your human self. While others may not see it now, for the service that it was, we see you, and we honor you for following the voice of your soul, rather than playing in the enlightenment popularity contest." Indeed, El Morya has been spouting off about the enlightenment popularity contest that pervades spiritual and conscious groups. But I will save his musings for another time. Let's just say this - he is relentless and I love it but others, probably not so much. In the end, those integrated souls have played many roles over many lifetimes - the villian, the beloved, the hated and admired, so who would know better than the human strife associated with it and the deep knowing of the great cosmic game called human life. Further, as captured in this tiny post, I have begun to sense into illusory human identities as aspects (unintegrated) and roles as facets (integrated) and in recognition in the gray area between because nothing is black and white. Something I wrote about in my new book. You can get that for free here: www.becomingsarh.com. Further, since we have covered divine/soul will in here expensively, I see the role/ facet is where your divine - god, also - experience plays out on this enlightened lifetime stage. More on that later, but someone let me know if that makes sense, please... Here is the post extended. Curious to know what you are perceiving as self beyond firm identity and what roles you have, are playing, or will play, and how that ties into moving from perceived human free will into the expanse of divine/ soul/ master will. Please comment below with your infinite wisdom. *** Strange days are here again 🎶.... it's only been five weeks or so since I left living in Shaumbraland, Colorado. In the vein of wisdomizing, I lived there two years- bought and sold a home, had many experiences, and made many friends. When I left, I cried a thousand tears and died a thousand deaths. But if I try to recall any of the two years, the memories are as faded as my old blue jeans. Memories just as hazy if not more than my previous lives, which appear in the shadows of my consciousness. I asked my soul why I couldn't remember, why I can't recall what it felt like to live there? It's much too far away to grasp onto anything. Too energetically expensive. I will say I can remember one-on-one conversations (especially with my close friends); I remember deep connections. I really remember vividly all the trips I took outside Colorado, which were many - it is just the periods in Colorado where people were mad at me, asking to borrow money, owing me money, playing out the wounds of Isis and Adam, etc. that I cannot remember. I can only vaguely recall that leaders of the CC got angry at me for some bullshit. It's like it never happened. So why, my human asked,...why can't I remember something that is only five weeks away from me???? My soul replied, you were there only to play a role - the antagonist at times, the devotee at times. You felt everything every Shaumbra has ever felt, so you would know the experience. Partly for writing purposes and more so because I wanted the full experience - that is my soul's personality. Nothing half ass. For example, when I was going to do drugs in my teens, I was going to experience all of them. Full experience beyond right/ wrong, good/ bad.... My soul continued....When that role was over, the dramatic death only came from lack of awareness that it was indeed a simple role and not the illusory identity you held onto far too tightly. Now, human Lauren, you know the difference between a conscious role, a perceived identity, and who you really are. In these experiences, my human finally understood, it knew more fully, the I am who I am. The I AM beyond any identity or role. The cosmic grand being that I am and you are, too. The God also. So what role are we playing now? I asked my soul - now knowing there is no time, no experience in life in which we are not playing some sort of role. In that case, if I playing a role, I choose the divine will roles rather than the old human games, unless it will be fun for me. She said: the role of the integrated soul, who knows how to radiate, rather than absorb and reflect, unless it is an act of consciousness. The role that knows only joy and inexpressible compassion. Indeed, I know deeply that 99% of my Colorado experience was not mine. That is why I can only remember 1%. It was the 1% that was mine. And that was all I was willing to pack and take with me. It was not a mental exercise of what was mine and what was not, but a deep soul knowing. The soul sifted on autopilot without me having to do anything. Memories erased in the divine will role play. How often have I thought I held sovereignty, when it was nothing more than a human constructed illusion. These sort of questions will make the faint of heart wildly uncomfortable. To know nothing - absolutely nothing - is authentic is enough to blow up the human mind. Authenticity is relative! Then my soul sang in images and sensations.... Unsubstantiated human/untethered soul, I joyously surf the waves of passionate expression - until my next starring role on my own sovereign stage emerges. I find the human need for boundaries and declarations of "truth" evaporate when the changing tides of conscious move from absorbing to radiating. The boundaries just as illusory as the identity I was so fiercely guarding. Thus far, this new sovereignty feels so loose, so floaty and not at all as solid and substantiated at the illusory sovereignty I thought I held before. The irony...too much not to laugh at myself and how seriously I took everything...and then I remember it was part of the act. Xanthe, helped me with the words of this last sentence - unsubstantial - it was the perfect word to describe the sovereignty of my soul experience. How laughable it is that sovereignty is not the image of a person standing tall holding a staff in one hand and standing their ground ready for battle but instead a soft, flowing motion that is the song of my soul? How funny is it that I was so in battle for my boundaries that I failed to see the boundaries I so fiercely guarded were only there to protect an identity that was never mine in the first place? In the irony of it all, is one beautiful thing: the experience called freedom!
20 Comments
Kim
4/1/2018 11:33:00
Hi Lauren, thank you for this post. Yes, it makes sense that moving beyond illusionary identities also means moving beyond any static boundaries that need to be fiercely guarded. I relate to that feeling; I also feel myself moving into spaces of more fluidity and softness, where human truths cannot be taken very seriously.
Reply
Lauren
4/2/2018 08:19:31
Thanks, Kim. Damian and I were having quite a laugh at "truths" yesterday. It's a huge shift.
Reply
Lindsay
4/1/2018 11:53:49
Thank you for sharing this Lauren. I am having a similar experience- realizing there is no need for boundaries when there is no identity to protect. There is no fear of absorbing anything when you see that all of it is you anyway. The illusion of separation is what makes us believe we need boundaries. It’s a complete paradigm shift. Much love.
Reply
Lauren
4/2/2018 08:24:23
The suffering comes from the idea/ illusion of separation. And for me, forgetting who I AM. Thank you for sharing.
Reply
Xanthe
4/1/2018 12:52:57
Lauren I so enjoyed reading this in its entirety and so agree. It’s funny because in last weeks group class at school, where I am a participant, this topic came up. About having boundaries and the importance And I was specifically asked, I can’t recall why now and I spoke and I said I experience myself as seamless, I share how I am feeling but I do not feel the need to protect myself, I am simply expressing. Something along those lines and in doing so I also realised how true that has been for me in the last little while. I play roles yes, express facets and it is all lightly. There isn’t the investment I once had in becoming them, I am more aware of the fluidity.
Reply
Lauren
4/2/2018 08:25:21
So well said Xanthe and reflected to me and received. Thanks for shining your bright wisdom light here.
Reply
Karen
4/1/2018 14:49:16
Thanks Lauren for writing more on this topic. As you know from our Ryver chats I’ve been pondering roles and identities as I chose to become involved in providing input to our Provincial Poverty Reduction Plan. As I mentioned on Ryver, as I walked into this role I felt very different than when I used to work in government and being an advocate was part of my job and my role. This time around I did not feel the attachment to the identity or the advocate aspect. It truly felt like a facet and my Soul was in the driver’s seat. At the same time this experience seems to have acted as a process for my human to release more and more of it’s poverty role/identity and poverty consciousness energies.
Reply
Xanthe
4/1/2018 15:40:18
Oh I loved reading more about that movement Karen, the letting go, integrating and stepping into more, beautifully punctuated with a rainbow! ♥️🌹
Reply
Lauren
4/2/2018 08:26:30
Wow! Karen, I read this on Ryver but they was you wisdomized it here is perfection. Thank you so much for sharing with us. The slight shift in awareness becomes massive in realization.
Reply
Joanna
4/3/2018 22:57:07
Sounds like a beautiful clear movement to me. I have found that these shifts often result in more energy, and you let a little more of You slip in, so that definitely leads to having more energy! And then the body has to catch up :D. Anyway, happy to hear of this movement for you.
Reply
Xavi
4/2/2018 01:51:51
Dwell in God, dwell in God, dwell in God and befriend your Soul. Service creates friendship for ever.
Reply
Lauren
4/2/2018 08:27:59
I love this. Thank you for seeing me in the grand picture. I don't expect it anymore but it sure feels nice. :) Indeed, I do feel closer to knowing when I am playing a role and when I am just sitting in a pile of human drama (ewww...)
Reply
Momo
4/2/2018 20:40:38
Tonight i facilitated a dance session where we intentionally softened our roles and usually defined identities into an improvisational stream of consciousness flow of dance, movement and voice interactions.
Reply
Lauren
4/4/2018 12:11:48
That sounds amazing, Momo. I love how this all radiates out and flows in infinity. It is so fun!
Reply
Joanna
4/3/2018 22:46:36
Momo, This sounds like a blast!
Reply
Joanna
4/4/2018 08:54:49
"...that is my soul's personality. Nothing half ass. For example, when I was going to do drugs in my teens, I was going to experience all of them. Full experience beyond right/ wrong, good/ bad" -- just love this. All about diving in!
Reply
Lauren
4/4/2018 12:10:54
And it's distilled. Thank you. I love the way you write - like you talk:)
Reply
Nici
4/5/2018 01:35:56
I’m finding this discussion on identities/roles/boundaries quite interesting. As one who has been through the release of deep-rooted roles for a while, I suddenly found myself in a place lacking the usual rigidity, my mind not quite knowing what to make of this new way of being. Soon enough though, I began emerging from the perceived ’vacuum’ left by the absence of roles/identities, which by the way, I tried to no avail to fill in with ingesting more food and watching more movies – sigh! no harm done though, still best friends with my body and mind :))
Reply
Teresa
4/8/2018 13:25:48
Hi Nici, love your sharing, I can relate to everything you are saying! 😊❤️
Reply
Nici
4/8/2018 14:56:03
Hello Teresa! Thanks for the sweet note! ❤️
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorsLauren Archives
November 2018
Categories
All
|