Photo from National Geographic
It was 8:35 a.m. on Sunday morning. Still drunk from last night, I was smoking a cigarette and drinking coffee on a corner of street in the New Orleans garden district.
The night before my friends and I had stumbled upon a 1920s style jazz band and stayed up into the wee hours of the morning drinking Sazarac and sour beers with our new best friends whose names we wouldn’t remember in the morning.
The sky was open, the air fresh and breezy – a breeze that would give way to an oppressive heat that would strike the city come June and not lift again until October.
I had checked Facebook and someone had mentioned there was a Shoud Saturday. Another was reporting on the latest human junk from the Crimson Circle Control Center. I deleted my Facebook page right then – not because I was upset, but because I found I could no longer care about such nonsense anymore. It was robbing me of my experience right here, right now.
I realized in that moment just how far I had expanded in the few years as these experiences no longer appealed to me. Enlightenment does not occur in a proverbial seat in front of a channel. It occurs on the New Orleans street corner the morning after a wild weekend with you girlfriends.
It does not occur in the seat of the student, but in living life as realization naturally unfolds while you’re having fun. The workshops and channels were just an experience to have, not one I desired, or felt passionate about anymore.
With the breeze blowing through my hair, I realized the only thing I had been seeking in these six short years of self-discovery was freedom, and I did not need to pay or listen to anyone else to claim it. The groups that were once so awe inspiring and expansive now appeared so limited and strangled I’m not sure how my shine had survived.
I AM. FREEDOM. I breathed with the New Orleans wind. As I mouthed the words, St. Germain showed up. He had a clip board in his hand and checked me off the list. Check, he motioned, and smiled.
“Who are you, fucking Santa?” I asked. And then we laughed. It’s not so much he dismissed me, but I dismissed myself.
I sensed he would not be back again for some time and that whatever soul agreement I had there was done. Every concept I helped write had made it into the materials published for anyone else to seek and find should they need it.
The dichotomy that exists between human control systems (organizations) and realization, free consciousness was now in the awareness of enough members that I did not need to push it anymore. The duty, the service, the legacy was complete. And now I can just live – no longer hyper focused on the realization out there, but the one I found, through naturally unfolding experience in here.
What seemed like a huge ocean to explore, was now a pond that was too small for my ship. I watched the ocean of consciousness-related groups shrink into the puddle of rainwater that pooled in the cobble stone street before me.
Into what ocean would we set sail next? All of them. I saw the experience Yogananda was showing me before I left Colorado once again. In this experience, there was a movie screen projected on my ceiling, with each swipe of the hand I switched into a new reality.
In the awake, experience, Yogananda was showing me what there was to play with – what there was to create and the opportunity to step into the creations and have that experience.
As St. Germain left, I was not wondering what I will do next. Instead, I was wondering how the hell I was going to fit it all into this last human life. No time to waste in the very small ponds, like Facebook groups and seats before a channel.
Speaking of which, Ryver will exist through March of next year. I enjoy your shares there, and I enjoy our conference calls, too, but I do not feel it will continue beyond March unless one of you takes the reigns to create it. I'd love to step aside and see someone take on the facilitator/ coordinator role, if its appropriate. It will naturally unfold...
I look forward to meeting in Vancouver and Italy. When I sense into the Banyan Tree and that creation, I see the energies forming to support that, and all I need to do is watch it unfold. It already exists. And, I will be there to greet you, whenever you visit. I am always there - enjoying my creation - our creation.
I will finish my Sar’h books as I promised myself, to write the story of my realization, which always comes to the same conclusion - realizing I never needed any teacher at all and that my soul was there allowing everything to unfold in perfection.
I see my creations extending so far beyond that one. The hyper-focus on realization/ enlightenment/ blah blah blah - what once seemed like commitment – now feels like the easiest way to limit yourself in this very special lifetime. Don’t waste it, my soul says.
Realization, ascended master worlds – all of that is simply a tiny facet of the radiating diamond that is you. It is my wish to explore that for myself and an invitation for you as well.
St. Germain once said everything is about enlightenment. I will add when you get there, nothing is. Thank you all for being here, sharing your sovereign journey, it’s been one wild ass ride.
If you signed up for the writing workshop, don’t forget to join us on May 15. Big love. Big Life.