Decided to start sharing some of my personal journal entries. Why not???
Enlightenment Notes from April 4, 2018:
I guess you cannot escape your cosmic connections in the human experience.
Since moving from Colorado and physically from Crimson Circle, the non-organization organization I have been involved with for the past three years, I felt myself totally disconnect – the chords were ripped so fast from my body of consciousness it sent me spinning. Wheee! Free!!!!
My human breathed a huge sigh of relief. Thank, God. I don’t have to play these roles anymore. No more identity. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah….bawahhahahahahahah….
That cackle is the sound of my soul and my ascended master friends El Morya, Kuthumi, and Dwal Kuhl laughing at me.
Even Adamus St. Germain is there laughing at me something hysterical.
Having a keen sense of “self humor” – the beautiful ability not to take yourself seriously – at all – ever!! And when you act serious, you are completely aware of the act.
Through the laughter, human Lauren finally remembered the divine comedy we are playing in. As long as you are a human on Earth you are playing a role. The other parts, facets of self, in the cosmos are playing a role in all the various realities.
The human/ control/ agenda/ perceived human free will – another great cosmic joke! Too funny not to laugh at – thought it would somehow be able to pick and choose and decide in all of this.
Yet, when you make the expansion into the soul self AND master self – I am feeling these as one voice yet distinct simultaneously – making the “decisions” (the human has no fucking say or negotiation ability anymore and tuckered out to observe from the sidelines)… wait, what’s the right word….?
How about instead of decisions …choices of the soul….or better yet allowing divine will to flow through self and the vessel of the body….the body no longer a human body but a soul body….
My human does have a choice, I guess…fight it or laugh…end the end it’s never a choice, you cannot help but to laugh at the IRONY.
The irony is that in leaving Colorado I am spending more energy on the Crimson Council than ever…or perhaps my awareness shifted, more likely – Crimson Council is the group of angelic beings who supports the worldly creation that is the Crimson Circle and those allowing embodied enlightenment.
Every single night I am with the Crimson Council in the last ten days. I am working with individuals in my sleep. I even know the names and what exact patterns we are breaking in my sleep. I have always done this, yet not on this particular council – or rather, I am just becoming aware of this.
The ironic part – leaving the CC in physical form, I’m now more involved than ever. HA!
Then in a simultaneous dream reality, I am with the “Indian” crew, creating another portal for expansion for those choosing consciousness. This is entirely different than the Crimson Council work. It is all who I call Sar’h, but different facets of her.
Lauren, human self, is also going through multiple scenarios working out her human residual fears. No need to do these in the physical so creating a little reality for burn off. Smart. Masterly.
During the day, I am stunned to find myself not in conflict anywhere.
I search my body of consciousness almost in a panic – there has to be at least one – at least one little battle to play out and analyze. There has to be something there to fix, to process, to unravel.
“Oh my God, there is nothing!” (relief)
“Yay! There is nothing to fix.” (celebration)
“Holy sweet baby Jesus. There is nothing to fix!!!!” ( panic!!!)
Damn it. I cannot even panic!!! (surrender)
Final stage: More Laughter!!!!
The human wanted enlightenment all this time, and now it has no idea what to do with it.
And, it is hilarious!
I once asked, “Is this it? Is this all there is to enlightenment?”
Today and the past month…”This is it! This is all there is to enlightenment!”
The human wants to go back. “Hold on. I had some more things to fix, to experience, to do.”
(the feeling of leaving the stove on….but you know you really didn’t…but you just want to check anyway…just in case…)
And the funniest thing of all is that it can’t. It really is this easy AND there is no going back. Because there is no back or forward.
Beyond the simultaneous dreams, linearity is no longer here – in the now laughable term – “daily life”….
Buying a new car…I saw it in the parking lot, and I realized I already owned it.
I had owned it for some time. Now, I just had to reverse into how I got there, so I pulled out a checkbook and wrote a check for it. I reversed backwards into the experience of where it came from. I saw it all happening through the eyes of the divine.
My human held up a finger – my human is so outside of my body – the body is now a simple expression of the soul – it held up a finger and said “wait, let’s research the car.”
“Why,” my master self said. “We already own it, have for a long time, and it works out - incredibly. We love the car.”
“Oh, right,” and the human laughed hysterically. “This is fun!”
It all – all of everything - occurs in the same split second, the same moment. All of existence, experience, and expression is the same simultaneously. You get to fast forward, rewind, hit pause or whatever in any reality you inhabit. It is so freeing. And the only way there is to let go of the conflict.
I said it a hundred times. Drop the sword. I believed it. I sensed it would happen. But nothing compares to the actual experience. Beyond words, my friends.
Even the smallest of thoughts are part of the conflict. You cannot reject them. And, I’m going to say it. You can only allow it to go. It wants to go. The conflict. The mental thoughts. They want to leave. The suffering game. It wants to go too. You only have to let it. Stop blocking the door as it tries to push its way out.
“Is it really that easy?” Turns into….
“I know this really great, cosmic-level joke. It truly is that easy.”
A head nod in acknowledgment of Joanna who had this etheric conversation with me out on my surfboard last week as we laughed our fucking heads off.
Big love. Big life. Big fat laughter!
What I actually share publicly from my journal....Just to show you all how I mold and shape what I share to fit an audience and why this place is so special to me...I don't have to water it down here. Concentrated, undiluted experiences here and not there....
And my soul whispered to me, control is just another form of energy feeding.... I find it applied to perceived self-control too.
Trying to manage energy, set boundaries, rules of engagement, even the perception of using logic (just more battle internal...and energetically expensive....so many layers to this) ...and then when I wasn't using the energy to regulate and manage, it flowed seamlessly into the flow of creation.
I found all that energy no longer managed by the human flowed into soul creation. While not all creations need to be material, I am quite enjoying my new car. A representation of energy serving me in every moment. It's a ton of fun to drive too. I walked in, wrote a check, and drove off in one hour. No logic, no number crunching, no should I or shouldn't I, involved.
It's really jaw dropping to realize how scary it is for the human not to be in conflict - even an internal debate such as what car to buy. The layers of this battle called logic run so deep, but they are not who I AM.
And then beyond that fear that is almost grounding, the magic flows in the untethered experience of soul freedom. This one I can drive!
Picture of the new ride below!