For those of you who don't know, I have a tiny 'spade' tattooed on my wrist. Some of thought it was a a symbol of my membership to a Shaumbra group. Truth is I never had one single Shaumbra friend when I got it.
Instead, it was a reminder for when I was still tumbling around in human life, that I was here for one thing - embodied enlightenment. Jack - my then flame would send me into despair - and just when I was about to throw in the towel on life, I'd look down as the tiny spade on my wrist, smaller than an inch but mightier than any comforting words.
"The 'spade' is a symbol of ascension...ascension is the acceptance and integration of our human nature with out divine origins. When this occurs, karma is released from our life path and we complete our series of lifetimes on Earth, we go to what he (Adamus St. G) calls the Third Circle where we become full, conscious creators.
The creator does not need energy to exist; they do not need to be connected with anyone or anything in order to define themselves (identity). It is the realization of the compassionate "I AM" state of BEING. The spade, according to Adamus, represents outward expansion of consciousness, beyond limitations of the human dimensions.
The inverted spade, pointing downward, represents descending of our angelic nature to the denser vibrational energies of Earth. The inverted 'spade' also represents the heart or love that we, as angels, have shared by agreeing (yep, you did) to embody in physical reality for the good of All That Is." - Masters of the New Energy (book), by Adamus St. G, 2007.
Today the 'spade', as it is called in the human world, is also a symbol for my third circle along with the beautiful Banyan Tree, gifted to us by El Morya. It seems what used to be a comfort in reminding me of why I was here is now a symbol of FREEDOM, and is that which needs no human reminder, but at the time, it served.
On my right wrist, I have a tiny star. It is the north star. The one that guided the wise men, the magi, to the birth of Yeshua. It too was a symbol of why I am here and reminder that there were others to meet along the path, who were following the same star - one that was outside, way up in the sky and one that is now within us, the Christ seed consciousness.
It's true that while this is a solo experience most of the time, I likely would not have made it to the Magic of Being space I inhabit today, without my yoga mat.
In my human world, the only place I found peace most of the time was in the ninety minutes I spent on my yoga mat, a habit that rooted and took shape, in my very first class in 2006.
It wasn't any yoga teacher, in fact most did not talk about anything but how to do the poses. It was the fact that an ancient practice opened up the channels inside of my physical body to allow the wisdom of the soul to seep into the cracks.
It re-wired my biology to allow my soul to inhabit this meat suit - this physical body. Without it, all those classes with Adamus and Tobias would likely be floating on the outer edges of my body of consciousness. Instead, in three short years, everything I learned is housed within this physical vessel. And, it has done so without short-circuiting the system. It is also how I finally allowed El Morya to come into my human life and not just my dreams....
In the year that I was first married to my previous husband (2010), wine was my medicine, and working was my perceived passion, yoga class was the only time I caught a break and was with me and me alone. No teacher was trying to convince me of any dogma in the studio I went to then. They just made sure I did the poses in a way that I would not pull a muscle.
"Peace is an inside job," the teacher said, and we were left to our devices, though there were books in the lobby if we wanted to look at them. I didn't. I had my book, "The 21 Lessons of Merlyn." The story of King Arthur before he became king. His self-realization story.
I had the book since 1992 when it was published. In the times when my husband was away I would pull it out for comfort. One of those times, I heard a voice. A deep masculine voice, "Are you ready yet?"
I was so startled I slammed the book shut, dropped it, and went and poured more wine. I was terrified. I had no idea what was going on.
It was not until 2012, when I gifted myself the month in India for the yoga teacher training that I was able to start to allow his presence. It was not until 2013 in a medium reading, that I could mentally confirm his presence. (In my book for free on the site here)
Again without my yoga mat and without having listened to that deep undeniable whisper of the I AM that said leave your marriage and live alone (let me assure this was extremely radical in my community - something women did not do), I would not be in the Magic of Being space.
Sure, I would have gotten there, probably after my potential kids with my previous husband went off the college, or worse, I would have had to leave my children with him because I simply could not do it.
Indeed, I see that the most important factor in all of this was listening to the inner voice, I have called Sar'h, and who is now my I AM. Yet, the little helpers along the way to reflect that north star (Sar'h) back to me from above - well, I am so grateful.
THE PAUSE BUTTON
As I move forward in life I feel my three years with the Crimson Circle were like hitting the pause button, a break I gifted myself. In these three years, I was given a community to know I was not alone. I was gifted language to describe what was naturally occurring.
Even though the materials, especially Divine Will and the Threshold guarded by the Dragon of forgiveness, were taught to me by El Morya, long before the courses, books and channels, it was a sanity check. No, I did not make this up. Yes, there were others like me. I created a space for the last three years without a human world. No work. No human friends anymore. A space to really go within.
THE PLAY BUTTON
Lately, in this non-linear path, I feel I am back at the point with El Morya before we ever embarked on the Crimson Circle pit stop on the journey that is mine but is also ours. My guide went away, sure, but my best friend (besides me) has always been here.
When I was in the Crimson Circle teachings experience it seemed like it was the end. And now I know it was simply the beginning. It was the pause button and now we are hitting play.
El Morya just showed me a desk with a red button on it. He's smiling, laughing, and teasing that he's about to hit the button. "3-2-1....Blast off!" he yells in play. "I'm packing my bags," I respond.
Then these radiant beings appeared because I am ready to remember the creation.
I have written some of the story of how I know them on the HONORS page.
Lately, my "visions" are increasing and expanding. What the Center of Being already is and how I went/ am going backward and down the spiral into that creation of my future Self.
Gosh, this non-linear time stuff is hard to write about. D has a soul experience last night with non-linear time, and we are still trying to put words to it.
Everyday, I am back at the map with Babaji. It is a dark map of the world. Geographical pockets and people close to their self-realization are depicted with a light - bright stars that appear across the map and move like waves in the ocean. Dynamic not static.
When I look down at my feet, we are on a snowy mountain top. The Himalayas. The thing is when I check in with this. I am brown skinned. I see the ends of my dark curly hair flowing in the breeze. It is NOW that exists beyond linear time. It is not the past or the future. The map is 'outside' of linear time. It is at the "begging", the now, and the future - all together in an expanded point in space.
I begin more and more to remember our creation. To remember our conversations with words and sensations. I see that Yogananda is there, but it is not Yogananda. His soul is in another body. And, we are all standing in the snow bare foot. Yet, we are not cold. I wish I could show with words this does not occur within linear time.
I am watching it all unfold. The role I will play. I also hold a deep sensation and knowing most "important" - not the right word - is the role of the souls who will retain the embodied form in self-realization or enlightenment. Holding onto it a little bit more - in legacy, sure, but more so in the creation of an experience so GRAND, it do not yet have the words for it. Let me try again...
Simply BEING embodied enlightenment is the creation juice for world and universes not yet realized. Beyond any and all human imagination.
"This is what you signed up for in choosing the Triple E," El Morya adds. He has a shit eating grin because he cannot wait for you to see what's behind the curtain, what we are creating by simply BEING enlightenment. He wants to shout it from the rooftops, but he cannot.
I wil come back and try again to capture this in words, but it will have to suffice for now.
My role in this conversation and creation is to sovereignly support this embodied enlightenment experience with my Being, with my writing if needed, and with my story. Those words are so limiting (UGH!) but in the conversation - in sensations not words - with these souls, I remember in divine unfoldment. It is nothing the human thought it would be.
I also will officially kick off the Beyond the Veils of Maya series after the New Moon gathering on January 16th.
In honor of YOU!