It was August 2015 in the Texas Hill Country. The stifling heat radiating off the dry ground below in waves had given way to an unusually cool evening. I was sleeping in the back of my pick up truck.
The open air enveloped me, and I was relaxed after a long day of volunteering in the kitchen of a youth camp for refuge teens from war-stricken countries.
Washing dishes in a make-shift kitchen in the stifling sun proved so laborious, I held only one speck of energy reserved at the end of the day to do much but surrender to the exhaustion.
I had just gotten off the phone, texting with Jack - a man I spent many lifetimes with and was deeply in love with. He loved me, he said in energy not words, but we would never be together. I took the scraps he gave me like a starving dog and thanked him after he scolded me.
The night gave way to the brilliant stars that lit up the sky and a meteor shower of epic proportions filled the cosmic movie screen projected above as I drifted off to sleep. I lay unable to move in the back of the truck with nothing but a pillow, a sheet, covered with the coarse salt of dried sweat, and a copious amount of hope.
Not hope that Jack and I would be together one day. Not hope that I would stop having all these human problems that never seemed to end. It was the kind of hope that fills up your body crown to toe tips when you have nothing else to lose. Some call it freedom. It was a surrender of sorts, and more so, a path when none others were visible to the human eyes.
I drifted off to sleep. In my dream, I was driving my white truck. Suddenly, thieves approached and began to strip the car as I drove. They ripped off the rearview mirrors, even the doors - anything and everything. I found I held no fear - at all. I just watched.
When the vandals took the tires off the truck, I got out and walked, totally un-phased by the stripping of my vehicle and all that I owned. I just kept walking, nothing in my hands, only the clothes on my back. I walked steadily and peacefully. Numb but full of sensation.
I came to a stream. Jack was there, and he kissed me. But I walked on.
I walked through a knee-deep stream as my clothes began to fall off. Piece by piece I became fully naked.
And I kept walking through the water. I stepped on rocks and my feet bled, the red pools forming in the water beneath them. Jack did not follow, and I did not care. I did not look back. I didn't need to. I knew he was not there.
I passed a group of souls, beings, and I somehow knew were awake, and they said, "Stay here with us. We found Utopia."
I did not look up when I nodded in their direction. I walked on and on, through dark waters. My feet continued to bleed. All I could feel was bliss. Bliss in this moment was steadiness without a high or low. It was pure existence without interference.
I reached a stopping point, still all darkness, and there was no one there. I felt a sensation sort of like love and a lot like acceptance fill my body. It was a peace not available to the human experience and therefore held no words.
I guess it's the kind of experience which only runs on a hope no one else can taste, a freedom which only comes from losing everything. One you cannot know until you are stripped down and strung out.
After the dream, I would try to go back to human life. I continued to wash dish after dish at the youth camp. I smiled at everyone I came across and they smiled back.
And then the hope that often felt like desperation, disease, and despair turned into something else - a guiding force that would not let me stop walking. When the car died, I kept moving. When the clothes came off, I walked naked. When my feet bled, I did not stop. When people showed up, I did nothing more than smile and walk on.
These days - I have been sober for so long now - yet I am strung out.
High as a kite on the non-linearity. Spinning and twirling in infinity beyond the veils of maya.
Instead of walking, I've taken up floating and flying.
My head spins, my heart beats fast and then not at all, and I spin and spin and spin.
And that weird desperate hope thing has turned into knowing.
The knowing feels like the motion of waves in the ocean.
Am I seasick or I am experiencing a reality long forgotten?
I used to hate Christmas - all the human expectations, the family drama, the consumerism - you get my drift.
Now in the Embodied Enlightenment Experience, or Triple E, it has become a wonderful time of year to ponder the big picture - to tap into that macro vision of the the divine we recently talked about to see, sense, and know not only our magnificent personal transfigurations, but also to recognize those personal experiences stepping into mastery as part of a grand experience of being on the Earth at this time and this space with so many others choosing Freedom over perceived human free will.
The other day one of our founding members of the Center for Being, Lindsay, wrote about what it was like to make this shift into the Third Circle of Creation, in which we are creating from the God Self within each of us rather than from the human parts and aspects of Self. She wrote,
"As I’m letting go of human free will and stepping into divine will, I’m noticing how much of what’s in my life were human free will creations- basically everything. I got seduced by the grand future visions of the mind that felt like soul. And now I want none of what’s in my life. So I decided to let go of all the human creations and step totally into divine will. As this is happening I’m feeling a LOT of fear."
Me too, Lindsay. Me too. Every previous creation seems to have been affected by the seduction of the future-planning mind and the old ghost of expectations.
It is a massive step into the unknown - it requires surrender and trust, yet also in the fear is a wild excitement that enlightenment is truly upon us. I will not lie to you all and say I do not experience fear too.
The other night before going to sleep my human self said, "I have no idea what I am doing in creating this space we are calling the Center of Being. Am I doing it wrong? Are people understanding my intent to celebrate the Magic of Being? Am I too harsh?"
"Do not worry, " my master voice came in. "I know what we are creating and so do the other master selves of those joining us here in expansion and freedom of Self. It is beyond planning and reason, and at the same time there is a divine will plan, or creation, rather, in which everyone who graces the space with their presence contributes to."
OUR WISDOM PEARLS COMMUNITY
Indeed, I sense deeply all of you here whether you are silent or sharing. Speaking of which the Ryver community has become a robust and friendly place to share stories. If you would like to take a look, you can visit and register here: thirdcircle.ryver.com/.
Este, who runs this page, has recently created a new place for you to share your own stories of enlightenment experiences. You can write them in the format of Memoirs of a Modern Master (for those stories click the category to the right). With your permission, I hope to share some of those stories here on the Third Circle page as well.
In Este's words, "The community is expanding in many free ways of expression and interaction." Indeed, it expands daily in how we interact with each other, and I could not be more excited about the space, which exists beyond the typical social media system. To join, check you inbox for an invite or email Este at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Este recently wrote a melody expression about the Center of Being, which I wanted to share with you all, in case you missed it.
"This is our dream, our passion, the magic of being,
in Embodied Enlightenment Experience.
Make it clear, make it simple, let it be your Third Circle.
Even if you are in a little bit of confusion,
act freely and shift this damn illusion.
There are plenty of opportunities right here,
to go beyond the fear.
Leave your carbon structure behind,
now, you are shining your light.
Go over your blind and stop the fight.
I love to share with a few, like you, what a crew.
I have nothing to do, anymore,
i'm not waiting a door, i can expand in my core.
Yes, I Am in Love with Me, I just let it Be."
It brought tears to my eyes because my "I am" reflected back to me in these words, and it means others share the passion for the Magic of Being as much as I do.
UPCOMING EVENTS: NEW MOON, CHRISTMAS & 2018
While we still have no physical space, our etheric space is growing. For new members please read the stories of the New Moon and the Banyan Tree, so you can feel the essence of the gathering before hand, should you choose to join us.
On December 18, we will gather under the Banyan under the new moon, when the stars shine the brightest each month. The theme this month is simply the Magic of Being - Being beyond limiting beliefs, and beyond the need to give or receive any energy, only to share our states of pure consciousness under the golden, majestic branches of the Banyan Tree.
Finally, in the spirit of the season, Yogananda, after coming to the United States in the 1920s, created a tradition in which all the Self-Realization Fellowship members could create gathering spaces on December 25th to honor and sense into the Christ Consciousness seed planted by Yeshua in his time on Earth. He wrote a meditation in celebration of the birth of the universal Christ Consciousness within ourselves. While not necessarily in our language, I'm sure you can feel the sensuality of his message:
Celebrate the birth of Christ in the cradle of your consciousness during the Christmas season. Let His vast perception in Nature, in space, and in universal love be felt within your heart.
Break the limitations of caste, color, race, religious prejudice, and inharmony, that the cradle of your heart be big enough to hold within you the Christ-love for all creation.
On every Christmas morn of your inner perception, prepare precious packages of divine qualities and deliver them to the beloved souls who gather around the Christmas tree of inner awakening to commemorate His birth in understanding, truth, and bliss.
Celebrating the birth of omniscient, omnipresent Christ Consciousness on the joyous Christmas festivity of your inner awakening, you will find the unbroken happiness of your dreams.
Let the omniscient Christ Consciousness come to earth a second time and be born in you, even as it was manifested in the consciousness of Jesus.
Perhaps you wish to join Yogananda in his tradition on December 25? I will certainly be doing so.
IN CONCLUSION & 2018
As the year comes to a close, I ponder all the experiences we went through in this space that first started in Patreon on March 9, 2017 with the Thirty Days of Self-Love experience.
It has been nothing short of magic, and the best thing has been gaining your friendship and trust and hearing your unique embodied enlightenment experiences.
Because of this, my intentions for 2018, including sharing more and more from the founding members of the Center here, and finding ways for us to connect in person.
Thanks to Karen, Maureen, and Margaret, a seed has already planted for a Canadian gathering in Vancouver, and I will be in Europe this summer (I'm taking a trip to Avalon in July) and hope to find a gathering space free from the old energy ways of contracts and fees, teachers and students.
Let's just get together and BE in our Magic. Please reach out if you would like to host an in-person no energy gathering.
For those at the gathering in the Netherlands, our video of the event is almost finished thanks to Nazar, who joins us here and in Ryver. Thank you so much, Nazar, for capturing the June gathering, which includes many of you all.
With love - viewed through the eyes of the divine,
Lauren, Sar'h, El Morya, Yogananda and last but not least, Mahavatar Babaji, who has been gracing this space with his presence daily now - will write more about that later this month.
As new people join us - Marcos from Patreon, Xanthe, welcome! - I wanted to share a story with you all. As we grow and expand, I want to remind everyone whether they are a reader, excited participant, or gawker - yes, we have a few and that's okay - anyone who graces the space with your presence, I want to remind you that ----
YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONSCIOUSNESS YOU BRING INTO THIS SPACE.
How you manage or do not manage your energy affects those around you.
This is a personal journey, but sometimes it helps to look up and witness the people around you -
You might just have your mastery reflected back to you.
That being said I am loving the Ryver community set up by Este - who has been given full sovereign reign to 'manage' that space. I love that we can create story boards, have a conference call (we must try it), post pictures and more. Plus, each master of Self can configure their own settings determining what level of communication they want to receive. To try it out, email Este at email@example.com. But first, please read this story and consider making a commitment to honor the Banyan, if you feel passionate about the space.
I want to create a space that is everything we hoped the other consciousness-related groups would be - no advertising, no feeding, no one trying to make money or prolong dependency on workshops, sessions, etc. If you are new here, be sure to read our manifesto too. I also wrote recently about Divine Will Boundaries - you can click on the category called Boundaries to your right. Bare with me as I have to say the same thing in multiple ways.
Now time to check out the latest Banyan Tree Story. In honor to you and your self-awareness!
The Banyan Tree of Being
What a lovely place to gather as masters -
Under the golden branches of the majestic Banyan Tree.
The community of self-realization had loved the concept - as I had.
A place to gather, a place to visit, to BE in mastery.
I cherished the space that was shown to me by El Morya.
I was honored we hosted Babaji on his occasional visits.
I loved what it represented in all that we share here - in this space.
Enlightenment is not all rainbows and butterflies - we all know that.
Yet, the Banyan Tree is a place to put that aside.
Not to fix anything, not to release anything.
Yet, the human self can get confused.
Some loved the way they felt under the Banyan Tree -
so they wanted to fill it up with light - to give back.
Others felt they needed to be filled up with the golden light of the Banyan Tree -
so they visited it frequently to fill themselves up, when they felt they did not have enough.
Forgetting - the Banyan Tree is neither a place to give or receive - but only to BE.
The Banyan Tree could handle the weight of these human needs from time to time.
But there it was - more needing - needing more -
The Banyan Tree knew needing is the same - whether it is to give or receive -
for giving and receiving are based on energy exchange.
Being - on the other hand - is based on no energy.
The absence of energy dependence, or energy addictions.
Being under the Banyan Tree means being in your pure consciousness -
without the need from any external energy source.
On Saturday, I went on a long walk through the snow-packed woods -
my feet crunching the bright white snow beneath with each step.
I went to visit the Banyan Tree and noticed something -
the branches were drooping, sagging under the wight of the energy exchanges going on -
of giving and receiving energy - of needing energy.
I noticed the ascended masters there had left.
At first I blamed myself -
I had not been clear.
Second, I blamed myself -
this was my creation.
No, I swept that aside.
This was our creation.
It was not a problem after all.
It was a remembering of who we are - the I AM. The I Exist.
My human self wanted to fix it.
No, my master self said.
The only thing to do is to be.
So I found myself floating alone under the Banyan Tree -
in pure consciousness - without having to fix or repair anything about me or others or the tree.
Only in awareness - conscious observation.
In breathing deeply in my cross-legged stance, levitating under its branches -
I watched and observed, with awareness of all that is, with awareness of the I AM.
In my state of pure consciousness, the branches began to lift again.
They un-flolded and reached toward the skies.
I noticed a few of you levitating there with me -
In the state of being - without giving or receiving.
I smiled in your direction.
Sparkles of gold began to fall like snow flakes from the tree's tops -
Not to give anything for me or us to receive,
but to demonstrate the magic -
the magic of being - the magic of being in a pure state of consciousness.
The invitation always stand to join us - to join you -
to join your master Self under the majestic branches of the golden Banyan Tree -
not to fill yourself up -
not to heal your illusory human wounds -
not to give in gratitude -
only to BE - for that is your greatest gift you can give to the worlds you inhabit.
You are responsible for the consciousness you bring into the worlds you inhabit -
your worlds - not for anyone else - but for yourSelf.
I took a deep breath, in honor of remembrance.
I took a deep breath, in honor of this space.
I took a deep breath, in honor of you.
Most of all, I took a deep breath, in honor of ME.
These stories are in the format of the book, Memoirs of a Master by Adamus Saint-Germain. I love reading this book from the perspective of a new master, and the learning curve that comes with it - rather than the perspective of a student - although I can identify with that as well. I have written it in third person to make it clearer for me. Please note this is a composite character and the timeline may very slightly from linear time for story sake.
The master, Sar'h, had a friend who proclaimed she desperately wanted to achieve enlightenment in this life. Let’s call her Andrea. Andrea took all the courses - she had for two decades, maybe more. She spoke the conscious language like a pro, yet she always seemed to be in some sort of external battle - clearly a distraction from having to face what was going on inside of her.
Andrea came to the master one day asking for money. $5,000 to be exact. To be paid back in two months with interest, of course. The money was for her new business. She had taken a course on conscious creation, and she was going to get it right this time, applying what she learned.
The master looked into her purview. The master did not see her as a student but also a dear friend. When she looked into the body of consciousness of the friend, she knew that there was no way the business was going to succeed, yet the master knew that Andrea needed to have this experience - to fall on her face - to see what was really occurring within her. In fact, Andrea's soul even begged to have the experience - to create an opportunity for the human Andrea to step out of the prison she created over and over and over again.
The master had plenty of money - she never had to work since she stepped into her mastery. But her human self wanted to warn the friend that she would fail and lose money. The master in her said that was not appropriate and this friend needed to learn the lesson on her own - to integrate it - so she lent her the money. And then she waited and watched.
Catastrophe after catastrophe occurred in Andrea’s life. The new master watched with compassion. She never judged her friend, but watched with compassion Andrea fall and fall again. Andrea finally came to her. I am so sorry I cannot pay the money back.
Then the master noticed Andrea was constantly spending money on things the master never spent money on. She was always paying for sessions with spiritual teachers, going out and buying expensive meals and fancy alcoholic drinks, chiropractors, body treatments, new clothes, new shoes. The list went on.
After a year passed, the master said relaxed and calm, "Hey, it is time to pay me back, friend."
By this time Andrea admitted the she had spent the money on the business she had now abandoned. After some conversations, Andrea finally admitted she had a retirement account that she could use to pay the master back. The money was coming any day now, Andrea told the master over and over again.
The master felt steady in that she would pay her back, and she was not worried about it. Yet, watching Andrea she knew she had not learned her lesson. She watched Andrea continue to spend money with reckless abandon. Andrea kept saying she would pay the money back. That she was back on track. That she had a new business plan. That she wasn't shopping anymore. Well, Andrea, said a lot of things. In fact, she rarely stopped talking; she rarely listened.
The thing is Andrea was being as honest as she knew how to be. In her mind, she had it all figured out. She twisted around the language of the spiritual teachers she followed to fit her situation. She said this situation had been about self-love - something all the teachers were talking about these days. The master knew that Andrea could not love herself because she did not know herself.
Yet, the master knew as much as Andrea thought she was telling the truth, she was not only lying to the master - worse - she was lying to herself. She had lied to herself for so long, she didn’t even know the truth anymore.
Lauren, the human, was heartbroken, watching the destruction occur helpless, yet her inner master said this was an important experience to have, to bring Lauren through. The master said there was a learning curve in owning her mastery in this life, and this friend was showing her something worth more than $5,000 - worth more than money could buy.
The master and Lauren both gently hinted about being paid back and what was going on in Andrea’s life. Andrea asked for advice almost daily now, but never actually listened to what the master had to say - showing her where to look not what to see.
Andrea continued in her ways. When she drank too much at an event she would cling her glass to give a toast in which she proclaimed her mastery and extreme abundance. Her speeches were Oscar-worthy, the master noted.
Lauren counted at the master's advising. Seven times over the course of one year, she gave Andrea the advice she asked for. She was patient in being paid back. Then she watched Andrea spend more than the money owed on frivolous gifts for herself and others.
On the eighth time Andrea came to the Master for advice and to apologize and to give excuses again for not paying her back, the master flipped her demeanor.
“Not only have you disrespected me, Andrea,” she said. “Worse, you have disrespected yourself.”
Andrea protested in alarm. “I have not. I have been totally honest with you.”
“You have the money to pay me back in your retirement account, Andrea,” the master said. “I expect by the end of the week.”
“That’s going to put me in a bind, “ Andrea told the master. “I have to pay taxes on the money to give it to you. Couldn’t I just pay you back over time, in small installments?”
The master had allowed the installments once before with another student, a student who also did the same things as Andrea. She knew that old trick. It was something she did not need to learn again.
"Thank goodness," Lauren thought, relieved. Lauren, the human, had found this whole situation stressful. The master, Sar'h, was calm and that calmed her too, but this was a friend - one she could lose. The master said she had to be prepared for that - at anytime. Becoming was not in alignment with belonging. Compassionate detachment, the master called it.
“NO!” the master said firmly to Andrea.
Lauren could not believe this person was feeling inconvenienced when it was her, the master who was inconvenienced by the whole ridiculous situation. The master, Sar'h, reminded Lauren to breathe - we were learning how not to be affected by those around us, especially not by our students.
Students - Lauren hated the word and what it meant - but she agreed this experience could be categorized as nothing else in human words. Yet there was no pay. There was no classroom. "Interesting," Lauren thought.
Andrea was alarmed and shocked at the master's change of demeanor. Andrea lacked the self-awareness to know the master had given her seven chances over more than a year to make good on her promise. Andrea was so unaware she could not remember all the excuses, the apologies.
Andrea could not see that her spending habits were a huge disrespect to the master who had shown up for her - that is until the master was forced to point it out, no matter how painful it would be to Andrea.
At this point, the master seemed like the most unkind person in the world. Lauren hated being disliked, but the master in her said that was part of her own lesson in all this. Becoming and belonging do not go hand and hand, Sar'h reminded her again. Sometimes the kindest act of mastery is to draw a line of intolerance.
Andrea had studied enough to understand on some level. She cashed out her retirement account and paid the master back.
“I really learned the lesson this time,” Andrea told the master and herself another lie. She apologized yet again. And again.
Two months later, homeless, Andrea was asking to sleep on people’s couches. Yet, instead of changing her habits, Andrea continued to buy expensive meals, pay for beauty treatments, and she drank alcohol at every chance she got, often running up very large bar tabs.
The master in total love and compassion watched, knowing - one day, perhaps not in this lifetime - Andrea would look back and appreciate the lesson, but not until it sunk in - when she finally stopped lying to herself, many, many moons from now.
The master had planted a seed that could only bloom when awareness was chosen by Andrea, and Lauren let all the stress and any human ill will go, fly away, knowing that she had stepped further into her mastery and the learning curve that comes with stepping into her new role.
Andrea despised the Master, who lived in Lauren's human body. When she drank wine with her friends she talked about how mean Lauren was. Yet, Andrea's soul sighed and knew what the Master showed her.
Lauren, the new Master, never cared for she knew what was really going on. The lies we tell ourselves are so seductive. It wasn't so long ago that Lauren had lied to herself, too.
Lauren as the master, Sar'h, knew there was no need anymore to defend her behavior to those who could not see it the gifts given, for they had not yet been received.
Lauren, in her new state, realized that being a friend, in the human sense of the word, in this situation was not possible.
A "friend" in the human sense would continue to play the game - she would continue to advise, to support these lies that hurt no one more than they hurt Andrea. A "friend" would continue to build up Andrea, to be her cheerleader in the games Andrea was playing with herself.
Lauren had to stay steady in her mastery, steady in her firm boundaries, or she too would be just like Andrea - blinded not by the need to have more money --- but by her own need to belong.
To be continued….
Author's Note: I think the story begets two things: asking us to be honest about our current state of being with ourselves and for ourselves only, AND recognizing the learning curve that is stepping into mastery, such as realizing the definition of friendship expands and shifts in the new 'role.'
Just like when we abandoned our human lives upon awakening, it is often that we must shed our 'conscious workshop' friends for a time too after we have stepped like a babe into our mastery. Ascended Masters like El Morya are always there to 'lend a hand'. Not with advice or energy but by holding the consciousness of BEING as a sort of welcome mat for those who have entered the embodied enlightenment experience. When you get there, if you are not there already, Sar'h too will stand next to the welcome mat in your honor.
For those of you who are new, the above painting is by Eiril, who is on this page, and it captures Sar'h in many forms. The Hawaiian flowers of Lemuria. The long dark hair of her Egyptian births. The lotus. The blue eyes. I could go on... Eiril, I love it every time I look at it. For those who don't know, Eiril is highly intuitive and was given no direction from me for the paintings. She tapped into the essence of the being-ness of the subject and interacted with it in ways I have not seen.
This is from the Honors and Contributors page, which has recently been updated. Check it out to know more about how the Center of Being was formed. Here is Sar'h story - or the start of it...
I once considered Sar'h the voice of my soul - as she was with me throughout my childhood and awakening as a guide for the human Lauren, born on Thanksgiving Day in 1980 in Dallas, Texas. Yet, as I have spiraled more and more into my own mastery, I feel more like Sar'h and less like Lauren each moment. However, I do prefer the name Lauren as I am the one who picked it and whispered in my mom's ears long before she became swollen with me in her womb at age thirty-three.
In this life as Lauren, I chose my father, Robin, as he came from my soul family. In a simultaneous life, my father was a great pharaoh of Egypt and I was his daughter. We hold many lives together and he is constantly with me from his mastery on the ‘other side.’ He currently holds no human attributes but appears in angelic form. He will come back to have his embodied enlightenment experience but not for some time.
I chose my mother, Susan, for two reasons. My grandmother holds the bloodline of Yeshua and Mary Magdalene and my grandfather held the bloodline of my ancestors - a family I had been incarnating in for centuries - the most recent as my life as Enola (Alone spelled backwards).
On a family tree, Enola would be the great aunt of the Lauren incarnation. Enola lived from 1898 to 1936 in Chicago, Kentucky, Texas, and California. She was a wanderer and a pioneer when it was not socially acceptable for women to be so. Additionally, both my mother and her mother, my grandmother, gifted me with the ’Sight’ - or the ability to see without regard for linear time and space.
I chose the name Lauren for myself, and it resonates in every cell of my being-ness. Lauren comes from the latin of Laurentum, which means from the place of the laurel leaves. Indeed, that is where I have come from. It is also a French name, and modern day France is where I experienced ascension in one of my lifetimes on Earth. This lifetime of Lauren is the designated embodied enlightenment experience lifetime, and the one I focus sensually on as all the other lifetimes run simultaneously like flowing rivers who meet in the vast ocean of my sovereign consciousness - the consciousness of BEING.
However, I use to the name Sar'h now to encompass the ocean of sovereign consciousness that is my BEING, also of which I call the avatar SELF. Sar in Hebrew means prince or ruler, yet not a ruler of other people, but over SELF, also called mastery. To me, Sar’h is like a radiant diamond, with each lifetime running in simultaneous flowing rivers into the ocean of SELF representing a facet or face on the diamond.
Sar'h, like many of you reading this, held lives in Atlantis and Lemuria, and worked to establish the first religions and governments on Earth. In one lifetime, the avatar Sar'h in embodied human form gave birth to one of El Morya's physical incarnations, yet their friendship regardless of the human roles, spans lifetimes. She, for lack of a better pronoun, has incarnated as both a man and a woman and had many less than so-called desirable lives. Wanting to experience everything human life had to offer, Sar’h has played every role from victim to perpetrator, wounded to warrior, and everything in between.
Sar'h maintains her name in honor of a lifetime in which she experienced ascension during her short time on Earth, and in which she was a daughter of Yeshua and Mary Magdalene. In this life she was born underground in Alexandria, Egypt and then was transported to modern day France for her safety. She grew up in a mixed community of Essenes and Druids, and spent/ spends many lifetimes in those Druid communities. As you are aware, when Atlantis was destroyed, most of us washed up on the shores of modern-day Wales, and had our Druid experience in the mists of Avalon - El Morya and St. Germain included as King Arthur and his Merlin, respectively.
I made the decision to reincarnate as Lauren to experience embodied enlightenment at this magical time and space on Earth, live a life of joy and freedom, and to support with my BEING-ness, not by doing, others on their self-realization journeys, with deep honor and compassion. Sar’h, my avatar self, loves visiting fellow souls in the dream state or on long walks in nature - as a dear friend rather than a teacher. She enjoys communicating in images and sensations. In this capacity, I am deeply passionate about reminding the humans I loves so much the kingdom of God is within. Divinity resides inside of all of us. Sar’h cherishes the seed of consciousness planted on this Earth by Yeshua to realize we too are God with each breath she takes in human form.
Housekeeping: I am currently going back to add the Patreon posts to the blog, so everything will be there. I am also posting the edited chapters of the 30-Days of Self-Love under that tab. This may take a while...Also, if you have not check out the Honors page. I am loving this new space and our comments. Thank you.
Some of the below story is a recap, and the new part is the in second portion.
Going back in time…In late September I was on an Balinese Island called Nusa Lembongan with my partner, who I call D. We did not do much while we were there - the beach, sunsets, playing cards, and I was writing a little.
One night in my lucid dream state, my soul said to me, “What if you had to give up one form of sovereignty for another?”
“Wait, what?” I couldn’t understand what the words meant. Then it hit me, I was trading the concept - some call an illusion - of human free will and trading it for another - divine will.
The series of events that happened afterwards were quite intense. For example, I had a deep soul notion that divine will meant for me closing down my business. Soul Session, El Morya channels for others, Patreon - basically all forms of income tied to my embodied enlightenment experience. It also included removing myself from all systems, when possible, such as Facebook, any groups other than this one, etc.
For new readers, we dove deeply into systems this summer before heading into divine will.
When I finally released it - the New Energy Creator experience - somewhere in Laos - and made the announcement that i was “retiring” and no longer playing in the channeling, soul session circus, I knew money to support me in my embodied enlightenment experience - if you are new we call this the triple E - was going to show up some how. And, 11 hours after the public announcement, a very large check was sent to me - one that would cover some years. Funding to be in the space beyond the noise - thank you, soul!
Yet, it wouldn’t have mattered. I’d be living in a forest if it had not because I simply cannot work even if it was conscious work. You can put lipstick on a pig, and it is still a pig.
Those of you who have been on this ride for some months already know this, yet we have a few new people, and I like the recap sometimes. Here's the new:
So between these events, D and I were in Hoi An, Vietnam. Here, riding bicycles is the way to get around. D was taking woodworking lessons with a master woodworker in the village nearby. The man have invited him over for a beer and dinner, so we were going to part ways near the bridge to the village from the town of Hoi An. I was going to find a place to people watch while D had his male bonding time.
Once he rode off, I started to feel very strange. I stopped my bike at a restaurant, and ordered a small appetizer. Then as I was waiting for it to arrive to my table, I had a horrific vision. I saw D floating facedown in a river. I knew somehow he had been struck on the head and then thrown into the river. My heartbeat in my chest was pounding so hard. It felt so real.
I attempted to calm myself down, to examine what I had saw. Then I could not longer resist it, and I went after him on my bike. After the dark ride, I ran into him, the woodworker, and his wife on the road outside the woodworking studio, and everything seemed to be okay. It was divine timing as they were headed to the couple’s house, which was deep in rice patties, of which I would not be able to find him. That surely would have caused a huge panic in me.
I did not tell D the story until we were riding home from the dinner.
“That’s so strange. I had a strange feeling, too. What if this was the last time we saw each other?” D said.
Back to the hotel safe and sound, I let it pass, yet I also knew it was some sort of post-traumatic stress incident. I know the feeling of that from what occurred after my father’s death. Anytime to the phone rang, I would sweat and hysterically cry, because that is how I was coldly notified by one of his neighbors of his death.
We continued to travel, and it did not come up again until we parted ways in India. I got on my separate plane home from Kolkata. On the plane ride, I saw it again - D facedown in river, beaten. Now logic actually came in handy - there is no river in the airport, and I knew D was not going to leave the airport to go into the chaos outside of it.
Yet, every cell in my body was lit up in trauma, in distress. I was crying involuntary. I was shaking. It was madness as I am usually not drawn into such dramas anymore.
Then, a more complete picture had come to mind. It was another (simultaneous) lifetime in which D was my partner and was killed by Roman soldiers and dumped into the river. I had found him there, and the trauma still exists. I'm sure you can image the trauma because you too have had the experience in so many lives.
In this lifetime, I was told it was the Will of God, and I didn’t understand the Will of God to be so cruel. It was the puzzle of lifetimes, and I understand it now, though I do not have words right now.
So as we bring up Divine Will - Soul Will - the Third Circle - whatever, I know first hand these traumas will shake themselves from our bones. And I use the word bones intentionally - as we discussed before - a lot of the rewiring of the nervous system has taken place to support the Triple E - for me, at least - and several of us talked about how the “upgrade” is now in our bones.
Right now I feel it in the space where the spine attaches to the back of the head. It’s a dull, annoying pain, in which remembering why it is there helps ease it. Hot water (the mineral hot springs were amazing) and a heating pad have worked wonders as my bones transfigure deep within, ridding the residual traumas, whatever they may be, without too many stories attached.
That's what I have for today. I am still recovering from all the travel and putting my house back together. And, I am so deep within myself it's been a bit harder to will the words. I'm sure it will loosen up soon as many of you have seen. I know I have said it too many times but I love our gatherings like the New Moon so much. It feels so supportive and beyond what we could do sitting in a room here on Old Earth. Thank you, again.
What magic I feel from this shift over to the new space. It really feels like freedom expanded. A new person has joined us - Deneen - who I met at the Threshold Reunion. I have written the story of our Banyan Tree gatherings - where it originated - and have information about our next Banyan Tree gathering on the November 18th New Moon.
I, Lauren, was laying down in a hotel in Saigon, Vietnam one afternoon in late September, when I found myself simultaneously elsewhere. El Morya, my beloved friend of lifetimes, was making his usual visit, yet we were meeting in a different place, or so I thought.
Awake in my physical reality and aware of the simultaneous reality, I saw the dark-eyed magus levitating cross-legged in the lotus position beneath the canopy of a grand Banyan Tree. The branches hung down low and golden glittering consciousness - not energy, pure consciousness - flowed from each branch into the ground and then back up through the tree trunk in the movement of the dynamic infinity symbol.
"Won't you join me?" El Morya gestured toward me without making a sound.
As I moved beneath the Banyon's branches, I found I too levitated in the crossed-leg, lotus position. I have been there ever since, simultaneous to the reality in which I write. Perhaps I have been there all along.
After the experience, the Banyan Tree began to represent - to myself and the group - a gathering place in the space beyond the noise. Some might call it Theos. You may call it what you like, but it does not exist in the physical form most humans consider real. You cannot get on a plane to find it. Perhaps it holds a similar quality of Avalon in the mists of Britaine - the home of King Arthur, another name by which El Morya was called - a lifetime we shared together.
As the Banyan Tree was adopted by the group eagerly as our new gathering space, Xavi remarked the flow of life in the Banyan is a lot like the flow of divine will in the Universe of You, of SELF. Truly, I sense this intensely.
Every New Moon, we gather under the glittering gold consciousness of the grand Banyan. You are welcome to leave all the human mentality behind and levitate with us, if it is your soul's will, also called passion.
On November 18th, El Morya, Sar'h, and super honored for the master of no word communication and so much more - deep honor - Mahavatar Babaji are opening the space for exploring communication in Divine Will. Because words take energy and the third circle is a no energy space, we will be exploring, or remembering, no energy communication under the Banyan tree.
Pets are a wonderful example of this form of communication. Perhaps you enjoy this form of communication with them already - pets from any lifetime. I am going to have Master Ollie by my side for this one. You are welcome to bring your compassionate friend with you. No poop bags and leashes needed!
Speaking of which, I massively appreciate your patience for me as we made this shift in consciousness and the virtual move as well. Much love, infinite gratitude.