These stories are in the format of the book, Memoirs of a Master by Adamus Saint-Germain. I love reading this book from the perspective of a new master, and the learning curve that comes with it - rather than the perspective of a student - although I can identify with that as well. I have written it in third person to make it clearer for me.
It was 2014, and the New Master, Sar'h, still held some of her human qualities, one of which was a desire for human romance. So Lauren accepted dates as they came up, but the same story line always played out.
On her first date with Joe, he had told her his mom had left the physical body recently. He said he knew there was life after death now from his experiences, and he knew there was much more to the Universe that what man saw with his two physical eyes.
"That's nice," Lauren thought. "I can be myself. He is aware."
As they talked and went on further dates, she noticed the roles changing. He saw her as a teacher - someone to learn from. Each date ended up being a session of sorts in which Joe asked questions about the nature of enlightenment and Lauren answered them as the Master.
Lauren had told Joe about her relationship with El Morya. Instead of inquiring what it was like for Lauren and how it impacted her life, he wanted a reading from El Morya - right now. What did El Morya have to say about his life, about his journey? Lauren was not seen as a person, but as some sort of oracle or free teacher/ healer/ guide.
Lauren told Joe it was not appropriate to ask her such questions, and that El Morya had nothing to share with him.
"You are doing alright on your own, Joe," she said. "Everything is unfolding in divine perfection."
Joe became angry. "I want to see him NOW. Make him appear."
"Well, Joe, El Morya doesn't appear on demand. In fact, he never appears in the way you wish to see him."
Joe had said he wanted him or any Ascended Master to appear in such a physical state "you could bounce a quarter (coin) off of them."
The notion was insulting and ludicrous.
The more he went into his human need to see an ascended master, the angrier he became.
He begged, pleaded, and then demanded that Lauren teach him the ways of the magus - right here, right now.
He was so desperate, Lauren tried to show him some ways to connect with his own wisdom.
His own wisdom - fuck that - he wanted answers from a master! And he wanted them now!
The angrier he became the more Lauren began to sink into her mastery. She had given him a pearl and he had cast it before the dogs and the swine. (See related post)
The master, Sar'h, sat and watched this all patiently, allowing Lauren to learn, or remember, something or many things, rather.
First, dating was not going to be a part of this enlightenment lifetime. Sar'h had pointed out every single boyfriend she had experienced. Each and everyone thought they were attracted to Lauren physically, yet each demonstrated that they sought her awareness, her light more than anything.
Sarah asked Lauren, "Have you ever been on a date when you weren't "helping" the man out, answering his questions, and providing solutions to his spiritual crises?"
"Well, no, I have not, not since I became aware of who I AM," Lauren replied.
It was that neediness from others who did not know the kingdom was within - again.
You could tell them a million ways they did not need healing, readings, workshops, or anything external to know they were God, also - but it never sunk in. Their eyes would become hazy when she talked about the kingdom within. These men where not even capable of understanding that - very few were - she knew this from other lifetimes.
When Lauren did not give them what they needed, they would go to someone else for energy - someone to stroke their egos, so to say.
In 2014, Lauren had been so blinded by the need to belong - the human desire to be desired - that she continued to accept dates until one day, she realized what was occurring inside of her. Then she stepped back into her mastery.
"Lauren, dear, you are never going to have a boyfriend in the human way. I watched with compassion as you put yourself in these situations over and over again to show you something. It's time to move on," Sar'h said and continued...
"The master has to give up perceived human comforts - and there will be many more to renounce with joy - and one of those is fulfilling the human desire for a boyfriend. I know it sounds harsh now, but one day you will realize that was some old aspect playing in human free will who needed that boyfriend, not you - the master.
The boyfriends know enough to see your light of awareness, but they will never match you in awareness in this lifetime. Not only boyfriends will fall away, but also your need for any external energy force. I know you cannot see it now but one day you will not even need to eat to live, to be. You won't want to fill yourself up with wine and cheap talk as you do now. You will relish in being alone on a Saturday night.
You have come to the fork in the road in which you can now leave this pattern of trying to find 'the one.' You are the ONE. You know that. You always have.
As for the rest, continue to live your life. Continue to feed on your addictions whatever they may be. Allow them to run their course, just as you have in dating so much. One day very soon, you will wake up and not desire a single thing outside of yourself."
Lauren didn't know what to believe, but she trusted Sar'h, and she knew she was right at least on the dating.
It had been exhausting. Every man wanted something from her - not her body, but her inner light - and that was not something she could give. She had given her soul to another man in another lifetime, and after twelve lives had finally reclaimed it. (Another story for another time.)
Lauren was lonely at first, and then she started to realize she was not alone. Instead, she was in the company of masters - ones without physical form - but ones who knew how to be a friend without needing anything from her. It was a steep learning curve, but one Lauren was happy to experience.
Lauren's desire to become herself had trumped Lauren's desire to belong - once again.
It was not a pattern she needed to repeat. This time she was honest with herself about the nature of her own needs and the patterns they created, keeping her from her mastery.
And indeed, Lauren did not know it at a human capacity then, but in 2017, she would wake up not needing food, wine, the company of human friends or boyfriends, or anything from outside of herself.
It was and is beyond Lauren's wildest human imagination as most things in mastery are.
Step of the edge, and you will fly, too.
What human needs are keeping you in the patterns that hold your from claiming your mastery? Can you be honest in your answers?
Finally catching up on reader requests. Please note the last post sent too early from my phone. It has been updated, so you'll need to read it on the website. Thanks for your patience!
One patron recently asked about being open to a romantic relationship after many years of being alone and how it looks in the Triple E.
That is something I feel I can share. However, I'd be the last person to talk to about long-term, making things work, or sticking it out in relationships.
I will also say I've attempted human relationships and that was absolutely impossible for me. I can't play "human" and can't hardly talk human anymore.
Being alone was my natural state of being even in my human life. I only had one serious boyfriend from age 25-28. I was married to him from 28-32. I swore I'd never do it again. And I meant it.
Since my divorce and going through these major shifts, I attempted to stay open to relationships but nothing lasted more than a night or a few weeks.
I will say the "romantic" experiences did at least scratch an itch and at best, I learned a lot about myself and my patterns from each one.
And, then it became too energetically expensive, too much of a distraction, and I declared myself done.
That's right when it happened - when D showed up (and another wonderful person and I ended up having to pick, yet there was never a choice...).
In my life movie screen, it seems about four months ago, I pretty much woke up with a companion while walking the Camino de Santiago.
We met at a Crimson Circle workshop in May 2016 and talked through text every now and then. Something shifted on the walk.
The words I would use: deep understanding at the cellular level, respect of one master to another. He saw me for who I really am. I see him beyond any layers, only core.
Of course, four months into this does not make me an expert, but here's what I have learned about myself in the context of a "new energy relationship" - I put that in quotes because the only "real" new energy relationship is with SELF - no one else.
*All my personal, unique soul experiences- never advice, never criticism- Please share your experiences below*
For me, I will not be in any relationship (friendship, business, romantic) that requires hard work. Just like in any creative expression, hard work is a signal for me to turn around, to re-route.
So many people love to talk about how hard their marriage or whatever was and how they made it through it. That has never resonated with me, although I honor the experience without understanding it.
This relationship is really easy. The only minor hiccups have been sharing living space with other people who were integrating, so I have decided I won't do that anymore. I need my own space, and the only person I can share it with right now is D.
After living alone for all but seven years of my life - I did not even have college roommates- people usually bug the crap out of me. It's beyond explanation how I am never annoyed with him.
But it's new, you might say, it will get hard. So what?
If it's hard, neither of us can or will do it. Neither of us is capable of force or fight anymore. Again, I can only be in a relationship of any kind that requires no effort.
Soul expressions of honor, compassion, and love require no effort at all in any kind of relationship.
Next, the only kind of commitment that exists for me is to my self-realization. I'm not interested in other men, only in putting me first.
To be with someone who does the same, holds self-realization at the highest priority, is the only way for me to be able to have this experience.
I cannot have a partner who is not self-sufficient and self-aware. I tried too many times to be with a human- at the expense of my own health and wellbeing.
On a practical level, I do not have typical manly man experience - D is not going to defend me (he literally contains no force).
He is not going to give me accolades publicly, like on Facebook, or serve as a cheerleader.
My ex husband did these things, and they all came with a cost and a big fat story. Thank goodness we don't have to repeat the Adam/ Isis roles.
D knows that there's nothing to defend, that accolades feel cheap to me, and that the resonance from his Being is way better than any words shared.
We also split the costs of everything and take turns with human tasks. So helpful. Whoever is grounded enough and who's brain works enough, gives it a go. 😜
I don't have any words of wisdom here except if someone shows up in your life that causes a spark in your soul, why not explore it with expanded awareness?
If you still enjoy sex, do it as much as possible before the desire to do it goes away like other human pleasures have.
Furthermore - to the person who asked and maybe others - you have learned so much about yourself these past years alone. You know how energy works. You know what you will or will not tolerate. You are too soul intelligent to be bamboozled by the swaggering karmic driveby that once could have wrecked your life. It's not going to happen. You are simply too YOU!!!
Also. I will share my deep inner knowing. Relationships for me will never be life long. I transfigure too quickly and won't bend and certainly won't break for anyone else.
When I sat in the initiation with Master M in 2013 and he asked if I wanted to be a vessel for the Will of God, I knew it meant giving up anything and everything in the human world that kept me from it.
As long as we are both evolving, as long as it's easy, I will stay and enjoy it. When it comes time to part it will be in honor, after that I'm going to spend a good long while by myself.
In the meantime, making love is exquisite. As long as it feels that way, I'm in.
If you feel called to, please share your "new energy relationship" take for your fellow friends curious about diving back in...