Decided to start sharing some of my personal journal entries. Why not???
Enlightenment Notes from April 4, 2018:
I guess you cannot escape your cosmic connections in the human experience.
Since moving from Colorado and physically from Crimson Circle, the non-organization organization I have been involved with for the past three years, I felt myself totally disconnect – the chords were ripped so fast from my body of consciousness it sent me spinning. Wheee! Free!!!!
My human breathed a huge sigh of relief. Thank, God. I don’t have to play these roles anymore. No more identity. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah….bawahhahahahahahah….
That cackle is the sound of my soul and my ascended master friends El Morya, Kuthumi, and Dwal Kuhl laughing at me.
Even Adamus St. Germain is there laughing at me something hysterical.
Having a keen sense of “self humor” – the beautiful ability not to take yourself seriously – at all – ever!! And when you act serious, you are completely aware of the act.
Through the laughter, human Lauren finally remembered the divine comedy we are playing in. As long as you are a human on Earth you are playing a role. The other parts, facets of self, in the cosmos are playing a role in all the various realities.
The human/ control/ agenda/ perceived human free will – another great cosmic joke! Too funny not to laugh at – thought it would somehow be able to pick and choose and decide in all of this.
Yet, when you make the expansion into the soul self AND master self – I am feeling these as one voice yet distinct simultaneously – making the “decisions” (the human has no fucking say or negotiation ability anymore and tuckered out to observe from the sidelines)… wait, what’s the right word….?
How about instead of decisions …choices of the soul….or better yet allowing divine will to flow through self and the vessel of the body….the body no longer a human body but a soul body….
My human does have a choice, I guess…fight it or laugh…end the end it’s never a choice, you cannot help but to laugh at the IRONY.
The irony is that in leaving Colorado I am spending more energy on the Crimson Council than ever…or perhaps my awareness shifted, more likely – Crimson Council is the group of angelic beings who supports the worldly creation that is the Crimson Circle and those allowing embodied enlightenment.
Every single night I am with the Crimson Council in the last ten days. I am working with individuals in my sleep. I even know the names and what exact patterns we are breaking in my sleep. I have always done this, yet not on this particular council – or rather, I am just becoming aware of this.
The ironic part – leaving the CC in physical form, I’m now more involved than ever. HA!
Then in a simultaneous dream reality, I am with the “Indian” crew, creating another portal for expansion for those choosing consciousness. This is entirely different than the Crimson Council work. It is all who I call Sar’h, but different facets of her.
Lauren, human self, is also going through multiple scenarios working out her human residual fears. No need to do these in the physical so creating a little reality for burn off. Smart. Masterly.
During the day, I am stunned to find myself not in conflict anywhere.
I search my body of consciousness almost in a panic – there has to be at least one – at least one little battle to play out and analyze. There has to be something there to fix, to process, to unravel.
“Oh my God, there is nothing!” (relief)
“Yay! There is nothing to fix.” (celebration)
“Holy sweet baby Jesus. There is nothing to fix!!!!” ( panic!!!)
Damn it. I cannot even panic!!! (surrender)
Final stage: More Laughter!!!!
The human wanted enlightenment all this time, and now it has no idea what to do with it.
And, it is hilarious!
I once asked, “Is this it? Is this all there is to enlightenment?”
Today and the past month…”This is it! This is all there is to enlightenment!”
The human wants to go back. “Hold on. I had some more things to fix, to experience, to do.”
(the feeling of leaving the stove on….but you know you really didn’t…but you just want to check anyway…just in case…)
And the funniest thing of all is that it can’t. It really is this easy AND there is no going back. Because there is no back or forward.
Beyond the simultaneous dreams, linearity is no longer here – in the now laughable term – “daily life”….
Buying a new car…I saw it in the parking lot, and I realized I already owned it.
I had owned it for some time. Now, I just had to reverse into how I got there, so I pulled out a checkbook and wrote a check for it. I reversed backwards into the experience of where it came from. I saw it all happening through the eyes of the divine.
My human held up a finger – my human is so outside of my body – the body is now a simple expression of the soul – it held up a finger and said “wait, let’s research the car.”
“Why,” my master self said. “We already own it, have for a long time, and it works out - incredibly. We love the car.”
“Oh, right,” and the human laughed hysterically. “This is fun!”
It all – all of everything - occurs in the same split second, the same moment. All of existence, experience, and expression is the same simultaneously. You get to fast forward, rewind, hit pause or whatever in any reality you inhabit. It is so freeing. And the only way there is to let go of the conflict.
I said it a hundred times. Drop the sword. I believed it. I sensed it would happen. But nothing compares to the actual experience. Beyond words, my friends.
Even the smallest of thoughts are part of the conflict. You cannot reject them. And, I’m going to say it. You can only allow it to go. It wants to go. The conflict. The mental thoughts. They want to leave. The suffering game. It wants to go too. You only have to let it. Stop blocking the door as it tries to push its way out.
“Is it really that easy?” Turns into….
“I know this really great, cosmic-level joke. It truly is that easy.”
A head nod in acknowledgment of Joanna who had this etheric conversation with me out on my surfboard last week as we laughed our fucking heads off.
Big love. Big life. Big fat laughter!
What I actually share publicly from my journal....Just to show you all how I mold and shape what I share to fit an audience and why this place is so special to me...I don't have to water it down here. Concentrated, undiluted experiences here and not there....
And my soul whispered to me, control is just another form of energy feeding.... I find it applied to perceived self-control too.
Trying to manage energy, set boundaries, rules of engagement, even the perception of using logic (just more battle internal...and energetically expensive....so many layers to this) ...and then when I wasn't using the energy to regulate and manage, it flowed seamlessly into the flow of creation.
I found all that energy no longer managed by the human flowed into soul creation. While not all creations need to be material, I am quite enjoying my new car. A representation of energy serving me in every moment. It's a ton of fun to drive too. I walked in, wrote a check, and drove off in one hour. No logic, no number crunching, no should I or shouldn't I, involved.
It's really jaw dropping to realize how scary it is for the human not to be in conflict - even an internal debate such as what car to buy. The layers of this battle called logic run so deep, but they are not who I AM.
And then beyond that fear that is almost grounding, the magic flows in the untethered experience of soul freedom. This one I can drive!
Picture of the new ride below!
Good morning friends! Lauren (human) and Sar'h (divine) here with you all. The Beyond the Veils of Maya (defined below) Series continues...
My human body has just awoken. The rays of the golden sun and salty air poured through the cracked windows of my new California home signaling it was time to rise. The whistle on the kettle, letting me know it was time to pour the water into the french press, and sit down to write. Only I forgot the French Press needed to be pressed and now my coffee is full of grounds. Human fail.
On Friday, 'we' posted on Ryver, that we dove back into writing the book and would take a pause - two days which was more like two lifetimes - with the posts for a bit. The book is now - 16 hours of writing later - an entity of its own creation. It's fascinating.
I also wrote - "One thing I'd love to hear about is bringing awareness to the multiple realities we exist in naturally. I am having this especially at night before I go to bed - lately about 8 p.m. Without a movie, TV or music going I find myself in the last hours before bedtime off in the mystery school of my own soul who is showing me how to perceive Self in realities simultaneously and with human awareness."
I will get to that but first a quick note on humanizing divinity...
I had written in the past few posts that the human never becomes enlightened - instead it becomes a facet of our master self or soul in which it retains human qualities. Yet, I would say my human is assimilating to the wisdom of the soul through awareness.
Assimilation is defined for mySelf as the process of taking in and fully understanding wisdom.
In other contexts, assimilation is synonymous with "fitting in." It is often used in the context of a person or group of persons moving into a new and foreign land and learning the ways and language of the new culture they find themselves in.
For me that culture of assimilation is not to a group or culture, but assimilation to the wisdom of the soul distilled from all experiences in and out of body. That is where I fit in, where the lines of separation have dissolved between HUMAN AND DIVINE.
The only place in the universe(s) where we can and would experience the separation from our divinity - knowing we are God, also - is Earth -- in it's illusion of maya.
And everyone here on this page created Earth -- for the experience of separation only to have the joy of returning to self once again.
For those new to the site, "beyond the veils of maya” is a term I use for an expanded perception of reality outside duality, gravity, and linear time.
In Autobiography of a Yogi (Chapter 30) by Paramhansa Yogananda, he explains the Vedic scriptures say that the physical world operates under one fundamental law of maya, the principle of relativity and duality.
It is only through maya that we perceive a separation between God external and ourselves as God also. Further, it is only through maya that we see a separation between human and divine.
The Banyan Tree represents not a space to meet and leave the human behind but a place for our human expression of Self and our GodSelf to have no dividing line.
When I first began working with clients and myself being my most frequent client, Sar'h whispered to me.
"One day the conversation between human and divine will merge into ONE voice."
In sensations, she said it was the experience of separation between human voice and soul voice that we would arrive AT-ONE-MENT. The true meaning of atonement as found in biblical discussions.
Thus, the Banyan Tree gatherings are a place to experience the AT-ONE-MENT. It's not that you leave your human problems at the door. It's simply that human problems cease to exist when you are at one in your humanity and divinity.
All those human problems were illusions created by the maya, the illusions, on Earth.
The Banyan Tree exists beyond the veils of maya, beyond the illusions of separation between human and the God, also.
As my human self becomes more at one with my God nature, my divinity, I am stepping into multiple realities AND with human awareness.
Here, I let go of the expectations of grandeur. I think some of us are still expecting to walk on water, to appear in a living room of another and be seen there. Let's simplify the experience of multiplicity and bring the human facet along, if you will play with me for a bit.
For example (separate experiences we all have):
Beyond the veils of maya, there is no separation, no linear time to distinguish between two realities.
For example (simultaneous experiences):
When I asked how others were experiencing the multiple realities, I felt a little resistance and some found it too obscure, so I wanted to make it concrete for the human sake.
I understand. It seems we are not going to wake up one day and be all aware all the time - we actually could if we did not bring the human along. But because this human is hopping the divine experience train and riding it into alignment with Self, I invite you to celebrate the "smaller" more human experience of multiplicity that lie outside the veils of maya.
By starting small, my soul tells me, it opens a floodgate for human awareness of dozens realities - AT ONCE. I sense with a perception shift, my soul told my human, you will begin to view the multiple-reality experience in a new light.
I have had moments where I am in twelve realities at once and aware - yet that's only been twice in two years - and each time I was so drained, ungrounded and confused. By starting with little concrete examples for my human - the soul already knows, of course - I am creating a space for my human to ease into the experience, to be grounded, and to be able to discuss it with you beautiful, radiant people.
Another way of perceiving realities was recently brought up by Xanthe and Ruth lately - the perception of contrast.
One example would be seeing the contrast internal. The reality of how you felt in one situation drastically changes - yet the situation has not. Ruth said that she used to get upset when her husband went to see her step-daughter - a relationship she tried to make work and it simply hasn't. She said she found when he went to see her this last time, she found that she was not upset but at peace with the relationship where it was at, right then.
Compassion in action. Honoring everyone where they are at without trying to change it. Easy to understand mentally. Beyond GRAND when the sensation runs through the cells of your being.
Another example would be observing your reality versus another with compassion.
Xanthe said, "My sister is moving out, and I’m very aware of multiple layers of that as it is occurring. And what has been interesting for me is that over the six months we lived in the same physical space, for most of it and increasingly, I have felt we have been operating in different realities. The detachment, awareness of her has varied, yet arriving at a place in the last two weeks in particular where she just feels far away to me and it’s all perfect."
So I'm going to ask again. One thing I'd love to hear about is bringing awareness to the multiple realities we exist in naturally. Please comment below, on Ryver, or send me a personal note, if you are not quite ready to share with the full audience.
Also, just a funny note, I popped into the Keahak reality yesterday, just like I will pop into the concert/ mass consciousness reality on Friday (surfing across the realities and not getting stuck! woot!), and I noticed Adamus borrowed our Banyan Tree for an experience. I though it was quite funny. For the record, ours is much better:P
I hope everyone has an amazing Sunday or Monday or whatever day you are reading this. I'm taking my human body to pilates to see if I can't get the engine tuned up.
Much love and big Texan hugs.
READER REQUESTS CONTINUED...
There are several questions that have come up from multiple masters of SELF.
When I sense into the energy behind the questions, they seem related, but not so much on a mental level. Don't know how I am going to piece this together, but Master M confirmed my intuition these are all strands from the same thread, so why not try?
Below are the questions. I'm going to take a stab at it with Master M. Please feel free to add your wisdom below. I am genuinely curious.
From one reader:
"Something has been with me lately. It is about the parallel realities that we live constantly. In the past I used to enjoy those dreams about the other realities, but lately when I dream about it, it brings me a sense of dissatisfaction and discomfort to my current reality."
From another reader:
"What does playing with the energies from divine perspective look like?"
"How is everyone experiencing multi-dimensionality from the space of Divine Will?"
- I hope to hear from you masters on this one. -
Let's just say things have taken a strange twist over here in the multi-reality department. The other night I was sleeping and awake. I looked over at D to see if he was awake, and I saw him sleeping (physical body) and also sitting up listening to his headphones (also an image clear as day but I could tell it was not his actual body made of matter).
Last night D had a dream in which we were watching a movie - a horror film - on his laptop. Then we were in the horror movie. A movie that was Hollywood worthy, according to D. He woke up, and then right back into the movie. He says he wasn't scared because he knew it was a movie - a high-definition blockbuster at that.
Like the first reader question/ comment, I too used to revel in the experience of multiple realities. It's so very cool to learn about parallel story lines and simultaneous lives. Then something shifted recently for me as well.
About three days ago, I was laying in bed in a deep state of relaxed ONEness with my soul. When I came back into human form, I was so irritated. It felt so limited and fragmented. I didn't want to scream, but everything physical felt like the irritation of sandpaper on my skin. A low grade irritation - one that is so dull it is extra irritating.
Perhaps when we are so expanded and then we have to stuff all that energy back into physicality, we experience the magnitude of existence only to come back into the dull 3-D world. That's nothing new to us, but hang with me for a few paragraphs.
I have a sneaking soul suspicion that this is part of the motion into the third circle, or transfiguration (cellular shift) from Free Will to Divine Will. We are bringing the expansion of the soul's will into human form - embodied enlightenment.
For a human metaphor, that's a whole lot of consciousness to stuff into one body. We are embodying God within our physical bodies. Of course, that is not going to be pleasant every minute of the day.
Might explain my bloating and weight gain - surely it's not all those cakes I have been eating:P
Let me try this another way...In human free will, those simultaneous lives and multiple realities also had free will, right?
The role of SELF in that reality could do whatever it wanted.
In Divine Will, or Soul Will, I mentioned before it feels like my soul is a flowing river headed in one direction (obviously not - but for the sake of human writing). Those parallel story lines are not in the flow of my soul's will, which has taken the driver's seat.
Like a ship turning in the sea to go with the tides of your transfiguring consciousness, it is going to take some time for those story lines to be in the flow.
It's not that those parallel realities and simultaneously lives go away, although they are/ or become integrated into our ONEness. And I "think" our awareness of them continues to expand until we become so comfortable with our multiplicity that it is no longer that annoying fly buzzing around us.
I'm not sure how to say it, the story lines continue to exist but the human will in the story lines seems to also transfigure into soul will. Thus, not only this human life must make the shift into Divine Will; all your lives and realities are making the shift, simultaneously, too. Holy crap!
Master M says this is something that must be sensed and not mentally understood, but that the parables might help bring the human along. He also reminds me of the 'science.' When you move from free will into being a vessel for the will of God (self), you are undergoing such a radical shift at the cellular level, it is no surprise that you might be irritated, tired and then wired, starving and then stuffed.
He says if your human wants to know what to do, he recommends avoiding making big decisions, any kind of external commitments, and instead dedicating yourself to doing nothing - BEING and BREATHING.
He says in this transfiguration what you think you want to create will change drastically, and any creation requiring effort is a huge waste of energy that might be better directed to this deep, cellular shift going on inside of you.
Master M says we've had the glimpses of what lies on "the other side," and the experiences in remembering patience "pays off."
For example, we were trying to figuratively create $100 when $1 million was just around the corner - if we were patient, if we did not settle simply to curb our human discomfort of the unknown.
Or when we were trying to find shelter in any place available when there was an empty mansion waiting for us half a mile down the street. Yet, we took the tent just in case there was not a better option down the road.
Master M is saying don't dive after the $100 bill, especially one that a dozen other people are trying to grab at. Don't stop and sleep in the tent. Walk on into Divine Will - let the others have the experience fighting over the only tent left as you kick your feet up in the mansion down the road.
BREATHE and BE your way into the infinite riches of DIVINE WILL.
The more human discomfort of the unknown you can allow to flow through you (because you have the deep knowing of what riches await you), the "better off" you will be.
Damn, Master M, thank you!
As far as playing with energies, I sense a shift in that experience too. I do not know yet how playing with energies appears in Divine Will, yet I have a deep knowing it is vastly different than how we played in Free Will.
Master M says many of you either stopped playing with others in their Free Will experiences and games a while back. Others like me, he said, have just felt the deep soul message that it is time to leave those worlds, not knowing at the human level what is next, but knowing deeply in our soul space, that what's "ahead" is infinitely more "interesting" and "rewarding."
I use quotes so much because words are so damn limiting to the energy that he is using. I wish I could type in light. Perhaps you see the golden rays, too.
I sense this is enough for today, but I will continue and continue on this topic for many posts. Please share. I would love to hear from you all. Your questions are super helpful, too.
Also, thank you for this FREE space to share unfiltered. None of this is ever edited and is "real time" - a beautiful breath of fresh, conscious air for me. Infinite gratitude. It is PURE JOY!