Hi friends, thanks for all your notes and offering to help me move energetically - Gosh I appreciate that! I think in all this realization we forget that those around us are human too and appreciate kindness. I will never be too conscious to be kind. Most of all, I appreciate all of you for BEING you in all your multiplicity.
THE CENTER OF BEING
First off, what cut off the video....The Center of Being WILL NOT have a physical space. The Center of Being exists within he GodSelf of us all. And when we gather, our GodSelves meet in recognition of the God also experience under the Banyan Tree or where ever you choose to show up in alignment.
Should I disappear from this physical world...I think I will be here some years - my divine will is serving - how I do, or BE, rather, that may shift and change with the changing tides of consciousness...but if I should disappear, this space will always continue on under the Banyan Tree and we will always meet - if you would like - on the New Moon each month for as ever long as you would like.
I talked yesterday about embracing the multiplicity and blurred lines between the ascended and embodied master. The more automation and technology advance, the more the lines will blur between the two. I feel right now I inhabit both worlds and my body is simply a facet that is really serving me well moving boxes :)
I get a strong sense, when the body integrates fully, it will not matter your health or what you did or did not do to it. Any relief is temporary and in support of the human self - something that I choose not to ignore. Like getting a new tooth - 3D printed no less - is supportive of my human experience.
In all of this I finally understand, what the saying "the human does not become enlightened means." It is a sensation rather than a thought so I cannot describe it at all except a deep peace in my heart. And if the human is annoyed or upset or crying or whatever, it is still all in alignment with the GodSelf. Those tears actually feel so freaking good.
Another thing I want to challenge my own human on is the concept of old and new earth. Two choices? Fuck that. There are millions and none of us are going to have the same reality perception - everyone is going to view it through a different lens - the own lens of divine perception. Let's move from beyond yet another dualistic concept between new and old earth? Just writing it makes me feel constricted.
When Adamus first talked about new and old earth and Theos- I really felt like he was watering down for a limited understanding audience. So I am going exploring on my own without looking at life through a group consciousness perspective. My own lens of perception is so much more expanded! I'll bet yours is too.
LETTING GO OF CONSISTENCY
As a multiple master of Self, I am never going to be just one thing or think just one thing. I don't make decisions that are set in stone. That would be too limiting. Consistency is a human value and is much in conflict with the soul's deep desire to go beyond linearity and radiate in all the tens of thousands of realities available to it.
So as we move beyond the veils of maya, I invite you to embrace multiplicity within yourself and in your peers. So what if I or they say one thing and then shift gears and go another way. Let's not box ourselves in. Blah!
SAR'H's LIFE WITH YESHUA
In my alt-reality I have been having sensational conversations with M. Babaji and Yeshua about my lifetime with them 2,000 years ago. For me, previous life information has only come forth when it would be of service to me in the human NOW moment. I am just now - at the human facet - able to really absorb what they want to share OR rather what my soul wants to make the human facet aware of.
All of them have been reminding me (much to the chagrin of my human) that I was not Egyptian in that life, but rather Indian (from the Himalayas), yet Yeshua explained my dark skin saying I was from Alexandria to those we could not trust.
When I asked if I was a blood relative/ child of Yeshua - I no longer feel that I was ever a blood child of Mary Magdalene - he simply answers - it does not matter - I held the Christ seed consciousness.
"It doesn't matter if it was my seed (sperm) or not," Yeshua said laughing his ass off. HA! Limited human question - sorry:P
Regardless, I seem to have been some child picked up when Yeshua spent seven years with Babaji before he began his role/ play of the crucifixion. And, then I was brought back to the middle East and then France.
WHY NOW, DO I SEE THIS...?
Well, it relates to integrating and moving beyond the Shaumbra identity, and I had asked my soul, "why the hell am I so upset by it all? Seriously, why???"
Sar'h showed me this is not the first time I have been disillusioned by Shaumbra - which was a group of beings who incarnated together around the time of Yeshua.
This group of people, many of whom are incarnated again at this time, they wore red scarves to indicate it was time for a secret meeting, which is why everyone was wearing red scarves last week, if you saw the Should or Facebook.
Seeing everyone in the red scarves on the internet made me physically sick, and I knew it must be something deeper than just being so done at the human facet level. More than me just being disappointed in behaviors and limits.
Sar'h explained to me that as an outsider - the weird Indian child who embodied the wisdom of the East those 2,000 years ago - I would watch these Shaumbra in red scarves basically argue amongst themselves what was the true word of God, the true words of Yeshua.
They would use Yeshua quotes and teachings to measure the level of consciousness of each other and were fiercely competitive - sound familiar?
Babaji showed me in that life, I was holding the energy of BEING God, also, and feeling just as alienated as I do now at the human level - that is expected - the human is not enlightened ever.
Bababji showed me to go deeper, to visit the soul space, to watch the plays and roles repeat themselves and do what I do best, what I have been doing for eons - to BREATHE JOY AND BE GOD TOO - and to go about my human way.
In that life, my refuge was nature and my male partner - a Druid. Indeed, as I leave Colorado as certain magical mountain space is what I will miss the most. D- is meeting me in California, so that's the best for my human too.
Babaji added that's why I have so many Far East friends. They have played the role I am now. They have felt the disillusion, the competition, the argument of scripture, the externalization of the divine in so many lives.
Master M added - talking directly to my human self - that I have been seeking empathy from those in human form -- I still allow my human to desire empathy and kindness, I will not ever discredit my humanity -- when there is a whole crew of masters not in physical form who understand deeply what I am doing, what I have done.
Yogananda reminds me that I am not alone, and I can find the human support there with him. He has been entertaining me while I move, which has been awesome.
The deep honor and understanding these beings bring is beyond words and emotions. I am so grateful.
Truly, the SOUL or GODSELF is always going to be the best company. But going directly to the masters of self - without a channel or medium or muddled go between - is really a great joy for the human Lauren. Sar'h has been there under the Banyan Tree this whole time. It's about time my human joined in more often in more awareness.
I will see you all under the Banyan Tree on the New Moon - Feb. 15 in linear time. The theme is embracing multiplicity and moving beyond the perceived human desire for consistency that is a strong side effect of linearity.
I plan to show up aligned in my multiplicity and invite you to do the same.
For those of you who are new, the Banyan is not a place to bring or solve human problems (we can all feel that crap when you do so don't...), it is a place to celebrate your mastery, your I AM God, also.
Love to you all,
Lauren, Sar'h and all the beings under the Banyan Tree
These stories are in the format of the book, Memoirs of a Master by Adamus Saint-Germain. I love reading this book from the perspective of a new master, and the learning curve that comes with it - rather than the perspective of a student - although I can identify with that as well.
I have written it in third person to make it clearer for me - Sar'h, my master Self, and Lauren, the human. Please note sometimes I use composite characters and the timeline may very slightly from linear time for story sake, and I do not view the world in linear time. You can click on 'Memoirs of a Modern Master' in the categories section to your right to read all of them. Enjoy!
It was April 2016, and Lauren had signed up for a consciousness-workshop on creation in Hawaii. She could not wait to go back to the island to swim with the beloved spinner dolphins and bring some of what she knew about manifestation and creation back down to the physical Earth.
One day of the workshop, the channeler of an Ascended Master was going on about what he called BON - it was a really fascinating topic. In one of his lectures, the Ascended Master asked who had flown first class to the workshop.
Lauren had flown first class many times and had the money to do so. Yet, she did not for this particular workshop because the flight was a short domestic one. Her roommate at the workshop Andrea had - you can read about her story in the memoirs too.
The ascended master then told all the students, that they should have flown first class. Lauren understood what he meant. He was saying abundance was there to choose, to claim as the master. Yet, Lauren did not need a first class ticket to prove this, so she kept her economy class ticket, happily.
Lauren, the human, and Sar'h, the master both knew abundance was a sensation flowing like a river inside of the soul. Neither needed a ticket to prove it to anyone.
Others, like Andrea, took Facebook photos of the event to show their "master" friends on Facebook how abundant she was. Add the super conscious hashtags here, but that's another story - one Lauren will need to own as well.
That night at dinner, Lauren walked past a table of workshop attendees having dinner. They were all on the phone.
Her friend Magi I was at the dinner table.
"Why is everyone on the phone?" she asked.
"They are all calling to upgrade their flights because (the ascended master) said they should," he replied.
They both had a chuckle. Lauren had not been invited to this dinner. What a relief that was.
"Watch this," Sar'h, Lauren's master Self, said to Lauren, the human.
Lauren noticed after they got off their phones everyone was arguing over the bill from dinner. There was not enough money to cover the dinner and tip.
The banter went back and forth - "You had two wines, not one..." she heard one "master" say to the other.
Magi I had plenty of money - he too, like Lauren felt he did not need to upgrade his flight.
Silently, Magi I left a $100 bill on the table to cover the bill and left.
"It was easier than arguing with them," he said and shrugged his shoulders. The people at the table didn't even notice. Or thank him.
They both chuckled at the fact that everyone was spending thousands to upgrade their flight, while they could not come up with $20 for dinner.
Later, Magi I and Lauren ordered some champagne to drink and talk about the perceived limitations of these masters - not to judge but to learn the behavior of humans coming from awakening into the embodied enlightenment experience - something that was of benefit to what they were creating, what role they played.
Later in the workshop, the channeled Ascended Master said there was no need to workout in a gym for hours anymore. He introduced what he called the 60-second workout.
Later that day, Lauren walked past the hotel gym. There was the channeler and his wife in their workout clothes. One was furiously peddling on a stationary bike and the other on a treadmill.
"Look," said Sar'h. "There is something for you to see here."
Lauren thought it was strange that the channeler would say one thing and then act another way, she told Sar'h.
"Exactly!" Sarah replied.
"When we create our own ways of sharing what we know - there will be no discord between what we share and how we live. We will not be channeling an outside entity, either. We aren't judging these people at all. We are simply discerning for the future of our own creations."
Later that trip, Lauren's flight was cancelled because of a snow storm back in Denver. She treated herself to a beautiful hotel room on the other side of Hawaii's big island - still quite less than the first class ticket, but Lauren never counted pennies.
Lauren and Sar'h then had their own vacation together, master and human and soul squeezed in between. Together, they talked about creation and what they would create in this lifetime. It was a beautiful creation to have these three days alone. Masterly, if you will.
When Lauren got on the cheap flight home to Denver she noticed she had the whole row of seats all to herself. The flight attendant brought her a blanket and invited her to spread out and take a nap on the plane ride home. If that wasn't first class, she didn't know what was. Lauren remembered she had not worked out the whole trip, yet her body felt leaner and lighter than ever.
Lauren and Sar'h, the new master, returned to Denver with a full bank account and a fuller heart, a heart full of self-love and self-discernment - knowing what served her in any given moment no matter what the channeled Ascended Master had said and knowing deeply what did not - teaching one thing and living another. These realizations would stick with her for years to come.
These stories are in the format of the book, Memoirs of a Master by Adamus Saint-Germain. I love reading this book from the perspective of a new master, and the learning curve that comes with it - rather than the perspective of a student - although I can identify with that as well. I have written it in third person to make it clearer for me.
It was 2014, and the New Master, Sar'h, still held some of her human qualities, one of which was a desire for human romance. So Lauren accepted dates as they came up, but the same story line always played out.
On her first date with Joe, he had told her his mom had left the physical body recently. He said he knew there was life after death now from his experiences, and he knew there was much more to the Universe that what man saw with his two physical eyes.
"That's nice," Lauren thought. "I can be myself. He is aware."
As they talked and went on further dates, she noticed the roles changing. He saw her as a teacher - someone to learn from. Each date ended up being a session of sorts in which Joe asked questions about the nature of enlightenment and Lauren answered them as the Master.
Lauren had told Joe about her relationship with El Morya. Instead of inquiring what it was like for Lauren and how it impacted her life, he wanted a reading from El Morya - right now. What did El Morya have to say about his life, about his journey? Lauren was not seen as a person, but as some sort of oracle or free teacher/ healer/ guide.
Lauren told Joe it was not appropriate to ask her such questions, and that El Morya had nothing to share with him.
"You are doing alright on your own, Joe," she said. "Everything is unfolding in divine perfection."
Joe became angry. "I want to see him NOW. Make him appear."
"Well, Joe, El Morya doesn't appear on demand. In fact, he never appears in the way you wish to see him."
Joe had said he wanted him or any Ascended Master to appear in such a physical state "you could bounce a quarter (coin) off of them."
The notion was insulting and ludicrous.
The more he went into his human need to see an ascended master, the angrier he became.
He begged, pleaded, and then demanded that Lauren teach him the ways of the magus - right here, right now.
He was so desperate, Lauren tried to show him some ways to connect with his own wisdom.
His own wisdom - fuck that - he wanted answers from a master! And he wanted them now!
The angrier he became the more Lauren began to sink into her mastery. She had given him a pearl and he had cast it before the dogs and the swine. (See related post)
The master, Sar'h, sat and watched this all patiently, allowing Lauren to learn, or remember, something or many things, rather.
First, dating was not going to be a part of this enlightenment lifetime. Sar'h had pointed out every single boyfriend she had experienced. Each and everyone thought they were attracted to Lauren physically, yet each demonstrated that they sought her awareness, her light more than anything.
Sarah asked Lauren, "Have you ever been on a date when you weren't "helping" the man out, answering his questions, and providing solutions to his spiritual crises?"
"Well, no, I have not, not since I became aware of who I AM," Lauren replied.
It was that neediness from others who did not know the kingdom was within - again.
You could tell them a million ways they did not need healing, readings, workshops, or anything external to know they were God, also - but it never sunk in. Their eyes would become hazy when she talked about the kingdom within. These men where not even capable of understanding that - very few were - she knew this from other lifetimes.
When Lauren did not give them what they needed, they would go to someone else for energy - someone to stroke their egos, so to say.
In 2014, Lauren had been so blinded by the need to belong - the human desire to be desired - that she continued to accept dates until one day, she realized what was occurring inside of her. Then she stepped back into her mastery.
"Lauren, dear, you are never going to have a boyfriend in the human way. I watched with compassion as you put yourself in these situations over and over again to show you something. It's time to move on," Sar'h said and continued...
"The master has to give up perceived human comforts - and there will be many more to renounce with joy - and one of those is fulfilling the human desire for a boyfriend. I know it sounds harsh now, but one day you will realize that was some old aspect playing in human free will who needed that boyfriend, not you - the master.
The boyfriends know enough to see your light of awareness, but they will never match you in awareness in this lifetime. Not only boyfriends will fall away, but also your need for any external energy force. I know you cannot see it now but one day you will not even need to eat to live, to be. You won't want to fill yourself up with wine and cheap talk as you do now. You will relish in being alone on a Saturday night.
You have come to the fork in the road in which you can now leave this pattern of trying to find 'the one.' You are the ONE. You know that. You always have.
As for the rest, continue to live your life. Continue to feed on your addictions whatever they may be. Allow them to run their course, just as you have in dating so much. One day very soon, you will wake up and not desire a single thing outside of yourself."
Lauren didn't know what to believe, but she trusted Sar'h, and she knew she was right at least on the dating.
It had been exhausting. Every man wanted something from her - not her body, but her inner light - and that was not something she could give. She had given her soul to another man in another lifetime, and after twelve lives had finally reclaimed it. (Another story for another time.)
Lauren was lonely at first, and then she started to realize she was not alone. Instead, she was in the company of masters - ones without physical form - but ones who knew how to be a friend without needing anything from her. It was a steep learning curve, but one Lauren was happy to experience.
Lauren's desire to become herself had trumped Lauren's desire to belong - once again.
It was not a pattern she needed to repeat. This time she was honest with herself about the nature of her own needs and the patterns they created, keeping her from her mastery.
And indeed, Lauren did not know it at a human capacity then, but in 2017, she would wake up not needing food, wine, the company of human friends or boyfriends, or anything from outside of herself.
It was and is beyond Lauren's wildest human imagination as most things in mastery are.
Step of the edge, and you will fly, too.
What human needs are keeping you in the patterns that hold your from claiming your mastery? Can you be honest in your answers?
These stories are in the format of the book, Memoirs of a Master by Adamus Saint-Germain. I love reading this book from the perspective of a new master, and the learning curve that comes with it - rather than the perspective of a student - although I can identify with that as well. I have written it in third person to make it clearer for me. Please note this is a composite character and the timeline may very slightly from linear time for story sake.
The master, Sar'h, had a friend who proclaimed she desperately wanted to achieve enlightenment in this life. Let’s call her Andrea. Andrea took all the courses - she had for two decades, maybe more. She spoke the conscious language like a pro, yet she always seemed to be in some sort of external battle - clearly a distraction from having to face what was going on inside of her.
Andrea came to the master one day asking for money. $5,000 to be exact. To be paid back in two months with interest, of course. The money was for her new business. She had taken a course on conscious creation, and she was going to get it right this time, applying what she learned.
The master looked into her purview. The master did not see her as a student but also a dear friend. When she looked into the body of consciousness of the friend, she knew that there was no way the business was going to succeed, yet the master knew that Andrea needed to have this experience - to fall on her face - to see what was really occurring within her. In fact, Andrea's soul even begged to have the experience - to create an opportunity for the human Andrea to step out of the prison she created over and over and over again.
The master had plenty of money - she never had to work since she stepped into her mastery. But her human self wanted to warn the friend that she would fail and lose money. The master in her said that was not appropriate and this friend needed to learn the lesson on her own - to integrate it - so she lent her the money. And then she waited and watched.
Catastrophe after catastrophe occurred in Andrea’s life. The new master watched with compassion. She never judged her friend, but watched with compassion Andrea fall and fall again. Andrea finally came to her. I am so sorry I cannot pay the money back.
Then the master noticed Andrea was constantly spending money on things the master never spent money on. She was always paying for sessions with spiritual teachers, going out and buying expensive meals and fancy alcoholic drinks, chiropractors, body treatments, new clothes, new shoes. The list went on.
After a year passed, the master said relaxed and calm, "Hey, it is time to pay me back, friend."
By this time Andrea admitted the she had spent the money on the business she had now abandoned. After some conversations, Andrea finally admitted she had a retirement account that she could use to pay the master back. The money was coming any day now, Andrea told the master over and over again.
The master felt steady in that she would pay her back, and she was not worried about it. Yet, watching Andrea she knew she had not learned her lesson. She watched Andrea continue to spend money with reckless abandon. Andrea kept saying she would pay the money back. That she was back on track. That she had a new business plan. That she wasn't shopping anymore. Well, Andrea, said a lot of things. In fact, she rarely stopped talking; she rarely listened.
The thing is Andrea was being as honest as she knew how to be. In her mind, she had it all figured out. She twisted around the language of the spiritual teachers she followed to fit her situation. She said this situation had been about self-love - something all the teachers were talking about these days. The master knew that Andrea could not love herself because she did not know herself.
Yet, the master knew as much as Andrea thought she was telling the truth, she was not only lying to the master - worse - she was lying to herself. She had lied to herself for so long, she didn’t even know the truth anymore.
Lauren, the human, was heartbroken, watching the destruction occur helpless, yet her inner master said this was an important experience to have, to bring Lauren through. The master said there was a learning curve in owning her mastery in this life, and this friend was showing her something worth more than $5,000 - worth more than money could buy.
The master and Lauren both gently hinted about being paid back and what was going on in Andrea’s life. Andrea asked for advice almost daily now, but never actually listened to what the master had to say - showing her where to look not what to see.
Andrea continued in her ways. When she drank too much at an event she would cling her glass to give a toast in which she proclaimed her mastery and extreme abundance. Her speeches were Oscar-worthy, the master noted.
Lauren counted at the master's advising. Seven times over the course of one year, she gave Andrea the advice she asked for. She was patient in being paid back. Then she watched Andrea spend more than the money owed on frivolous gifts for herself and others.
On the eighth time Andrea came to the Master for advice and to apologize and to give excuses again for not paying her back, the master flipped her demeanor.
“Not only have you disrespected me, Andrea,” she said. “Worse, you have disrespected yourself.”
Andrea protested in alarm. “I have not. I have been totally honest with you.”
“You have the money to pay me back in your retirement account, Andrea,” the master said. “I expect by the end of the week.”
“That’s going to put me in a bind, “ Andrea told the master. “I have to pay taxes on the money to give it to you. Couldn’t I just pay you back over time, in small installments?”
The master had allowed the installments once before with another student, a student who also did the same things as Andrea. She knew that old trick. It was something she did not need to learn again.
"Thank goodness," Lauren thought, relieved. Lauren, the human, had found this whole situation stressful. The master, Sar'h, was calm and that calmed her too, but this was a friend - one she could lose. The master said she had to be prepared for that - at anytime. Becoming was not in alignment with belonging. Compassionate detachment, the master called it.
“NO!” the master said firmly to Andrea.
Lauren could not believe this person was feeling inconvenienced when it was her, the master who was inconvenienced by the whole ridiculous situation. The master, Sar'h, reminded Lauren to breathe - we were learning how not to be affected by those around us, especially not by our students.
Students - Lauren hated the word and what it meant - but she agreed this experience could be categorized as nothing else in human words. Yet there was no pay. There was no classroom. "Interesting," Lauren thought.
Andrea was alarmed and shocked at the master's change of demeanor. Andrea lacked the self-awareness to know the master had given her seven chances over more than a year to make good on her promise. Andrea was so unaware she could not remember all the excuses, the apologies.
Andrea could not see that her spending habits were a huge disrespect to the master who had shown up for her - that is until the master was forced to point it out, no matter how painful it would be to Andrea.
At this point, the master seemed like the most unkind person in the world. Lauren hated being disliked, but the master in her said that was part of her own lesson in all this. Becoming and belonging do not go hand and hand, Sar'h reminded her again. Sometimes the kindest act of mastery is to draw a line of intolerance.
Andrea had studied enough to understand on some level. She cashed out her retirement account and paid the master back.
“I really learned the lesson this time,” Andrea told the master and herself another lie. She apologized yet again. And again.
Two months later, homeless, Andrea was asking to sleep on people’s couches. Yet, instead of changing her habits, Andrea continued to buy expensive meals, pay for beauty treatments, and she drank alcohol at every chance she got, often running up very large bar tabs.
The master in total love and compassion watched, knowing - one day, perhaps not in this lifetime - Andrea would look back and appreciate the lesson, but not until it sunk in - when she finally stopped lying to herself, many, many moons from now.
The master had planted a seed that could only bloom when awareness was chosen by Andrea, and Lauren let all the stress and any human ill will go, fly away, knowing that she had stepped further into her mastery and the learning curve that comes with stepping into her new role.
Andrea despised the Master, who lived in Lauren's human body. When she drank wine with her friends she talked about how mean Lauren was. Yet, Andrea's soul sighed and knew what the Master showed her.
Lauren, the new Master, never cared for she knew what was really going on. The lies we tell ourselves are so seductive. It wasn't so long ago that Lauren had lied to herself, too.
Lauren as the master, Sar'h, knew there was no need anymore to defend her behavior to those who could not see it the gifts given, for they had not yet been received.
Lauren, in her new state, realized that being a friend, in the human sense of the word, in this situation was not possible.
A "friend" in the human sense would continue to play the game - she would continue to advise, to support these lies that hurt no one more than they hurt Andrea. A "friend" would continue to build up Andrea, to be her cheerleader in the games Andrea was playing with herself.
Lauren had to stay steady in her mastery, steady in her firm boundaries, or she too would be just like Andrea - blinded not by the need to have more money --- but by her own need to belong.
To be continued….
Author's Note: I think the story begets two things: asking us to be honest about our current state of being with ourselves and for ourselves only, AND recognizing the learning curve that is stepping into mastery, such as realizing the definition of friendship expands and shifts in the new 'role.'
Just like when we abandoned our human lives upon awakening, it is often that we must shed our 'conscious workshop' friends for a time too after we have stepped like a babe into our mastery. Ascended Masters like El Morya are always there to 'lend a hand'. Not with advice or energy but by holding the consciousness of BEING as a sort of welcome mat for those who have entered the embodied enlightenment experience. When you get there, if you are not there already, Sar'h too will stand next to the welcome mat in your honor.