As a great experiment or a joke on myself, I decided to post the below post on the Crimson Circle facebook group - I have expanded below. More so, it was about expressing my passion for being without boundaries, and I was taking the temperature of other Shaumbra who also may have experienced sovereignty beyond a conscious/ spiritual group identity.
Surprisingly, I received an overwhelming response and the only person that got ugly with me was someone in Colorado who makes it her life's purpose to get pissed off at anything and everything. She posted that she was laughing at me and 'bye, Felicia!' - too funny and lacking in creativity. If you're going to berate me, at least be fresh and creative! :P These things breeze past me these days.
For me, the post was a huge humbling realization to realize what I was experiencing in Colorado was not mine. If I was poking fun at anyone, it was only myself. I am the butt of my own jokes - always.
Further, I was surprised to see a note from Robert Theiss who posted it in his new facebook group, Masters Unplugged. In this forum, Robert will share free bi-weekly information related to walking as a master in this life. I have not watched anything from him ever, but in my conversations with him (expansive), I am interested to see what he shares there. If you would like me to add you to that group, let me know.
Karen had asked me on Ryver if I felt that I was playing a divine/ soul will role in my time in Colorado. Indeed, I felt that I was and that I would not have played the role so well if I had not lost sight of my self sovereignty. When I go back to my experience, when I left, the three wisemen came and did a deep bow in my honor - Kuthumi, El Morya & Dwal Kuhl.
I was flabbergasted because that has never happened. What they seemed to be saying is - "Lauren, we understand how hard that role was to play, how much it sucked for your human self. While others may not see it now, for the service that it was, we see you, and we honor you for following the voice of your soul, rather than playing in the enlightenment popularity contest."
Indeed, El Morya has been spouting off about the enlightenment popularity contest that pervades spiritual and conscious groups. But I will save his musings for another time. Let's just say this - he is relentless and I love it but others, probably not so much.
In the end, those integrated souls have played many roles over many lifetimes - the villian, the beloved, the hated and admired, so who would know better than the human strife associated with it and the deep knowing of the great cosmic game called human life.
Further, as captured in this tiny post, I have begun to sense into illusory human identities as aspects (unintegrated) and roles as facets (integrated) and in recognition in the gray area between because nothing is black and white. Something I wrote about in my new book. You can get that for free here: www.becomingsarh.com.
Further, since we have covered divine/soul will in here expensively, I see the role/ facet is where your divine - god, also - experience plays out on this enlightened lifetime stage. More on that later, but someone let me know if that makes sense, please...
Here is the post extended. Curious to know what you are perceiving as self beyond firm identity and what roles you have, are playing, or will play, and how that ties into moving from perceived human free will into the expanse of divine/ soul/ master will. Please comment below with your infinite wisdom.
Strange days are here again 🎶.... it's only been five weeks or so since I left living in Shaumbraland, Colorado. In the vein of wisdomizing, I lived there two years- bought and sold a home, had many experiences, and made many friends.
When I left, I cried a thousand tears and died a thousand deaths. But if I try to recall any of the two years, the memories are as faded as my old blue jeans. Memories just as hazy if not more than my previous lives, which appear in the shadows of my consciousness.
I asked my soul why I couldn't remember, why I can't recall what it felt like to live there? It's much too far away to grasp onto anything. Too energetically expensive.
I will say I can remember one-on-one conversations (especially with my close friends); I remember deep connections. I really remember vividly all the trips I took outside Colorado, which were many - it is just the periods in Colorado where people were mad at me, asking to borrow money, owing me money, playing out the wounds of Isis and Adam, etc. that I cannot remember. I can only vaguely recall that leaders of the CC got angry at me for some bullshit. It's like it never happened. So why, my human asked,...why can't I remember something that is only five weeks away from me????
My soul replied, you were there only to play a role - the antagonist at times, the devotee at times. You felt everything every Shaumbra has ever felt, so you would know the experience. Partly for writing purposes and more so because I wanted the full experience - that is my soul's personality. Nothing half ass. For example, when I was going to do drugs in my teens, I was going to experience all of them. Full experience beyond right/ wrong, good/ bad....
My soul continued....When that role was over, the dramatic death only came from lack of awareness that it was indeed a simple role and not the illusory identity you held onto far too tightly.
Now, human Lauren, you know the difference between a conscious role, a perceived identity, and who you really are.
In these experiences, my human finally understood, it knew more fully, the I am who I am. The I AM beyond any identity or role. The cosmic grand being that I am and you are, too. The God also.
So what role are we playing now? I asked my soul - now knowing there is no time, no experience in life in which we are not playing some sort of role. In that case, if I playing a role, I choose the divine will roles rather than the old human games, unless it will be fun for me.
She said: the role of the integrated soul, who knows how to radiate, rather than absorb and reflect, unless it is an act of consciousness. The role that knows only joy and inexpressible compassion.
Indeed, I know deeply that 99% of my Colorado experience was not mine. That is why I can only remember 1%. It was the 1% that was mine. And that was all I was willing to pack and take with me. It was not a mental exercise of what was mine and what was not, but a deep soul knowing. The soul sifted on autopilot without me having to do anything. Memories erased in the divine will role play.
How often have I thought I held sovereignty, when it was nothing more than a human constructed illusion. These sort of questions will make the faint of heart wildly uncomfortable. To know nothing - absolutely nothing - is authentic is enough to blow up the human mind. Authenticity is relative!
Then my soul sang in images and sensations....
Unsubstantiated human/untethered soul, I joyously surf the waves of passionate expression - until my next starring role on my own sovereign stage emerges.
I find the human need for boundaries and declarations of "truth" evaporate when the changing tides of conscious move from absorbing to radiating. The boundaries just as illusory as the identity I was so fiercely guarding.
Thus far, this new sovereignty feels so loose, so floaty and not at all as solid and substantiated at the illusory sovereignty I thought I held before. The irony...too much not to laugh at myself and how seriously I took everything...and then I remember it was part of the act.
Xanthe, helped me with the words of this last sentence - unsubstantial - it was the perfect word to describe the sovereignty of my soul experience.
How laughable it is that sovereignty is not the image of a person standing tall holding a staff in one hand and standing their ground ready for battle but instead a soft, flowing motion that is the song of my soul?
How funny is it that I was so in battle for my boundaries that I failed to see the boundaries I so fiercely guarded were only there to protect an identity that was never mine in the first place?
In the irony of it all, is one beautiful thing: the experience called freedom!
Friends, with the physical and etheric move, and in this new space of existence, I invite you to read the following, and ask yourself if you are in the place that fits your current soul experiences.
I am sensing a few people in this Third Circle space are simply peering (that's cool) and sneering (nope) into the pane of the window from outside, roll their eyes at the new moon gathering space, and have not yet stepped into the experience of sharing the God, also, among friends. Or simply do not wish to have that experience, and that's okay.
This is a place to see other souls through the eyes of the divine AND be seen for who you are through the eye of the divine - because you and I as sovereign souls created it that way. To share from the experience of the heart space, where your unique humanity and divinity meet. The Center of Being.
It is not a space to compare your mental level of consciousness with another's perceived level of consciousness. There's plenty of other spaces, places for the human free will to play out, where that is entirely appropriate - ones you can pay to be in or find on Facebook.
I sense beyond a doubt the majority here - we have hit the tipping point - of those who honor and grace this space and the Banyan Tree with their God-ness/ goodness is no longer going to be able to support those who are here to simply peer and sneer. There's a handy unsubscribe button at the bottom of the email should you need it, but I respectfully request you read the whole article before doing so. Thanks for stopping by.
HUMAN LIFE IN THE GOD, ALSO EXPERIENCE
A friend of mine once met Gopi Krishna to photograph him for his book jacket in a New York City apartment.
Chuck is his name, and he asked the radiant being before him what the secret to enlightenment was.
"As often as you can," he replied. "Think about God."
Now my friend told me this story some years ago, and I did not believe in God external, so I rolled my eyes.
I still don't believe in God external but I know now - I had hit the glass ceiling on God awareness - a ceiling that is now shattered beyond repair.
My days are filled with no more distractions like gossip, group dynamics, or perceived human struggle. They are filled with the unparalleled experience of knowing I am God, also. Every breath, every step, every interaction no matter how mundane it seems to the human is an experience of the God, also state of being.
And now I understand what Gopi Krishna meant. I embody it, though I would choose different words.
So here it is - my words. As always, I invite you to write your own and post them below with an audience who will honor them without the mental comparison exercise, or better yet, why not write a whole article or make a video to share on this space.
God Individualized meets Spirit & Bursts Forth in Joyful Expression = Conscious Creation
I see without eyes, sense without emotion, and know without thought God is a living, breathing stream of pure consciousness that flows from the source of soul individualized - without energy, only pure consciousness/ all-seeing soul awareness - and meets the river of Spirit universal in an unfiltered, unwavering stream of pure creative joy. And it creates every single experience I have in every single reality I experience.
I sense my Soul as Spirit or God individualized. It is the immortal, immaterial essence of my being, holding the wisdom distilled from all human lifetimes, between lifetimes, and beyond lifetimes. I sense my soul as an invisble library of wisdom integrated from all experiences.
I lean into the experience of knowing my soul is inimitable. It cannot be imitated or copied. It has always existed and will always exist beyond the constructs of time, space, and physicality AND without governance from any outside force - without governance by this human incarnation and the mentality of this human facet. And knowing Spirit never wanted to govern anything. That lies outside it's passion.
I see without eyes, sense without emotion, and know without thought Spirit as the soul of all of creation - a creation without agenda and detached compassion - and on this planet, for the experience that is human life. I see Spirit's only passion is to know it is God, also. Spirit - the soul of the greater consciousness - with wisdom distilled beyond indivualized experiences.
I see so clearly the experience of maya on Earth is a soul creation - a giant playground in which you have the grand experience of Returning to Self, once again, and know the perceived separation between human and divine is and was an illusion. It meets in the Center of Self, the Center of Being.
True creation - conscious creation - without energy or effort - occurs, for me, in the space in which the two - Soul AND Source - meet in the MAGIC that is BEING. From that space every creation unfolds in response to expression of the JOY of BEING.
In El Morya's chosen words - he also invites you to write your own - In the mighty ocean of consciousness that is the will of God, I find I can suddenly be still and BECOME, I can BE the drop of sovereign individuality - the place of no movement and instead dynamic motion within the all that is. Being is perpetual becoming.
And for me, in this space, the dualistic lines between external and internal are no longer perceived.
WHAT MAKES THE PRISON DISAPPEAR?
For me as the individualized soul, it is only in moving beyond the veils of maya, that I can be freed from the Earth prison and still embodied on Earth.
If you are new, beyond the veils of maya is a term I use for an expanded awareness beyond duality, gravity, and linear time.
In Autobiography of a Yogi (Chapter 30), Paramhansa Yogananda explains the ancient Vedic scriptures say that the physical world operates under one fundamental law of maya, the principle of relativity and duality.
It is only through maya that we perceive a separation between God external and ourselves as God also. Further, it is only through maya that we see a separation between human and divine. Maya was created by us and for us to have the experience of the Return to Self.
And in bringing the human along into individualized ONE-ness of SELF, there is another way out of prison. An AND, if you will.
I was on a video chat with my partner D yesterday. For an extended period of time, we just looked into each other eyes. No words were said aloud, and the soul spoke volumes.
To see and be seen beyond the veils of maya is what my embodied experience is about, it is why my soul says we will be here for a while longer AND it is why I created this space. You can see how I would not want others stepping into it who were not ready or do not want to show up in this space. If you feel the potential in your soul's passion, please stay a while and see how it goes.
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I saw how truly amazing D's soul is and he saw the same in me. This experience is beyond the human construct of love. It is beyond an roles, any conditions, and is not limited to boyfriends or even friends. It is how I see the whole world (now, gosh it took a long time). It is how I see so-called strangers.
And to have that reflected back, well, it removes the bars from the prison cell created by the veils of maya.
There is no separation between human and divine. There is no separation between Soul and Source, AND there is sovereignty of individualized Spirit and Spirit at large because none want to govern, they want to passionately express and experience - something that can never be comprehended by the mind that defines perception as either or and not in 'the AND.'
"Do you know what makes the prison disappear? Every deep, genuine affection. Being friends, being brothers, loving, that is what opens the prison, with supreme power, by some magic force. Without these one stays dead. But whenever affection is revived, there life revives." - Vincent Van Gough
My heart is where my humanity and divinity meet. My heart is where Soul and Sprit collide in passionate expression of joy. That is the Magic of Being, and the Banyan Tree is where we meet for the experience of that passionate expression.
And that is where I will see you all on the March 17 new moon, or anytime you grace this space with your being-ness, your God-ness, and everyONE here at the Center of Being is deeply honored from the Center of our Being to yours. There is simply no room for anything beyond the infinity of Self here.