As a great experiment or a joke on myself, I decided to post the below post on the Crimson Circle facebook group - I have expanded below. More so, it was about expressing my passion for being without boundaries, and I was taking the temperature of other Shaumbra who also may have experienced sovereignty beyond a conscious/ spiritual group identity.
Surprisingly, I received an overwhelming response and the only person that got ugly with me was someone in Colorado who makes it her life's purpose to get pissed off at anything and everything. She posted that she was laughing at me and 'bye, Felicia!' - too funny and lacking in creativity. If you're going to berate me, at least be fresh and creative! :P These things breeze past me these days.
For me, the post was a huge humbling realization to realize what I was experiencing in Colorado was not mine. If I was poking fun at anyone, it was only myself. I am the butt of my own jokes - always.
Further, I was surprised to see a note from Robert Theiss who posted it in his new facebook group, Masters Unplugged. In this forum, Robert will share free bi-weekly information related to walking as a master in this life. I have not watched anything from him ever, but in my conversations with him (expansive), I am interested to see what he shares there. If you would like me to add you to that group, let me know.
Karen had asked me on Ryver if I felt that I was playing a divine/ soul will role in my time in Colorado. Indeed, I felt that I was and that I would not have played the role so well if I had not lost sight of my self sovereignty. When I go back to my experience, when I left, the three wisemen came and did a deep bow in my honor - Kuthumi, El Morya & Dwal Kuhl.
I was flabbergasted because that has never happened. What they seemed to be saying is - "Lauren, we understand how hard that role was to play, how much it sucked for your human self. While others may not see it now, for the service that it was, we see you, and we honor you for following the voice of your soul, rather than playing in the enlightenment popularity contest."
Indeed, El Morya has been spouting off about the enlightenment popularity contest that pervades spiritual and conscious groups. But I will save his musings for another time. Let's just say this - he is relentless and I love it but others, probably not so much.
In the end, those integrated souls have played many roles over many lifetimes - the villian, the beloved, the hated and admired, so who would know better than the human strife associated with it and the deep knowing of the great cosmic game called human life.
Further, as captured in this tiny post, I have begun to sense into illusory human identities as aspects (unintegrated) and roles as facets (integrated) and in recognition in the gray area between because nothing is black and white. Something I wrote about in my new book. You can get that for free here: www.becomingsarh.com.
Further, since we have covered divine/soul will in here expensively, I see the role/ facet is where your divine - god, also - experience plays out on this enlightened lifetime stage. More on that later, but someone let me know if that makes sense, please...
Here is the post extended. Curious to know what you are perceiving as self beyond firm identity and what roles you have, are playing, or will play, and how that ties into moving from perceived human free will into the expanse of divine/ soul/ master will. Please comment below with your infinite wisdom.
Strange days are here again 🎶.... it's only been five weeks or so since I left living in Shaumbraland, Colorado. In the vein of wisdomizing, I lived there two years- bought and sold a home, had many experiences, and made many friends.
When I left, I cried a thousand tears and died a thousand deaths. But if I try to recall any of the two years, the memories are as faded as my old blue jeans. Memories just as hazy if not more than my previous lives, which appear in the shadows of my consciousness.
I asked my soul why I couldn't remember, why I can't recall what it felt like to live there? It's much too far away to grasp onto anything. Too energetically expensive.
I will say I can remember one-on-one conversations (especially with my close friends); I remember deep connections. I really remember vividly all the trips I took outside Colorado, which were many - it is just the periods in Colorado where people were mad at me, asking to borrow money, owing me money, playing out the wounds of Isis and Adam, etc. that I cannot remember. I can only vaguely recall that leaders of the CC got angry at me for some bullshit. It's like it never happened. So why, my human asked,...why can't I remember something that is only five weeks away from me????
My soul replied, you were there only to play a role - the antagonist at times, the devotee at times. You felt everything every Shaumbra has ever felt, so you would know the experience. Partly for writing purposes and more so because I wanted the full experience - that is my soul's personality. Nothing half ass. For example, when I was going to do drugs in my teens, I was going to experience all of them. Full experience beyond right/ wrong, good/ bad....
My soul continued....When that role was over, the dramatic death only came from lack of awareness that it was indeed a simple role and not the illusory identity you held onto far too tightly.
Now, human Lauren, you know the difference between a conscious role, a perceived identity, and who you really are.
In these experiences, my human finally understood, it knew more fully, the I am who I am. The I AM beyond any identity or role. The cosmic grand being that I am and you are, too. The God also.
So what role are we playing now? I asked my soul - now knowing there is no time, no experience in life in which we are not playing some sort of role. In that case, if I playing a role, I choose the divine will roles rather than the old human games, unless it will be fun for me.
She said: the role of the integrated soul, who knows how to radiate, rather than absorb and reflect, unless it is an act of consciousness. The role that knows only joy and inexpressible compassion.
Indeed, I know deeply that 99% of my Colorado experience was not mine. That is why I can only remember 1%. It was the 1% that was mine. And that was all I was willing to pack and take with me. It was not a mental exercise of what was mine and what was not, but a deep soul knowing. The soul sifted on autopilot without me having to do anything. Memories erased in the divine will role play.
How often have I thought I held sovereignty, when it was nothing more than a human constructed illusion. These sort of questions will make the faint of heart wildly uncomfortable. To know nothing - absolutely nothing - is authentic is enough to blow up the human mind. Authenticity is relative!
Then my soul sang in images and sensations....
Unsubstantiated human/untethered soul, I joyously surf the waves of passionate expression - until my next starring role on my own sovereign stage emerges.
I find the human need for boundaries and declarations of "truth" evaporate when the changing tides of conscious move from absorbing to radiating. The boundaries just as illusory as the identity I was so fiercely guarding.
Thus far, this new sovereignty feels so loose, so floaty and not at all as solid and substantiated at the illusory sovereignty I thought I held before. The irony...too much not to laugh at myself and how seriously I took everything...and then I remember it was part of the act.
Xanthe, helped me with the words of this last sentence - unsubstantial - it was the perfect word to describe the sovereignty of my soul experience.
How laughable it is that sovereignty is not the image of a person standing tall holding a staff in one hand and standing their ground ready for battle but instead a soft, flowing motion that is the song of my soul?
How funny is it that I was so in battle for my boundaries that I failed to see the boundaries I so fiercely guarded were only there to protect an identity that was never mine in the first place?
In the irony of it all, is one beautiful thing: the experience called freedom!
In Divine Will, you are not surrendering yourSelf (your soul) to any external force. Rather, you surrender the free will of your aspects to the will of YOUR true God nature. In that surrender of free will of the aspects, they become facets of SELF, in service to Self...
MY PERSONAL UPDATE, FIRST
Hello, friends! I hope everyone had a lovely celebration of the Christ Consciousness seed planted on the Earth some two thousand linear years ago. For me, it seems as if it were yesterday, and I suspect on some planes of existence, I am not far off.
I spend my days pondering Divine Will in a modern context. External god, internal God...my mind tries to wrap its pretty little head around it to answer your questions - ones I sense deeply whether you type them or not - ones I intend to find the appropriate words for. God is that which can not be described, that of which has no words, and in Eastern thought it was never even considered, according to Master Morya, that God might be an external force.
God is within - in the Orient. God is without - in the Occident. And that has been the lives work of Morya to merge the two together - bringing the best qualities of the East and West together. Again, Yogananda's legacy. Mahavatar Babaji has overseen the whole shebang. It was the work of Yeshua, too, but another story for another time.
For those of us who grew up, in this life, in the Western world we were told often and repeatedly God was external. It is no wonder when we try to make the shift, we can easily feel it in our consciousness, yet the mind simply cannot fathom the unfathomable. The mind's programming still lingers - the residual - and is ready for the integration, disintegration, and distillation of which I talk about below. Aspect becomes facet. Mind analysis becomes knowledge.
I have been researching a lot for my upcoming books. The Red Lion. Siddartha. El Morya's channels to now ascended master Mark in the early 1970s. Ancient texts that line the walls of my basement shelves. I am told I need to be able to back up everything I share with the place from which it came. To follow the path of its molding and shaping as it moved through the Earth's gravity and linear time - a creation in sovereignty in and of itself.
There is nothing new, as my partner reminds me each day - the more I research the more I know that, the more I can back up my statements to another's mind who still believes it has free will. No small task. In fact there is nothing more compassionately irritating right now for me than to try to converse with someone who has given free reign to their mind analysis aspect. In time, I am told this irritation will dissolve completely into equanimity (covered in the last post).
Every single little thing that has come out of the mouths of Tobias, Adamus St. Germain - everything I have read on the embodied enlightenment experience. None of the concepts are new - they are all deeply rooted in the wisdom of the Far East. Everything Yeshua has ever said - rooted deeply in ancient principles of the Far East. The sutras. The Upanishads. That text dates back to 6th or 7th centuries BCE. The Zoroaster (a possible El Morya incarnation). That was approximately 1,000 BCE. Abraham. Approximately 2,123 BCE.
You catch my drift. There is absolutely nothing new, yet I have the task from my master teacher - The God, also, within - and El Morya to remind me of everything I brought with me into this physical form - to take all of this wisdom and put it into the modern language.
To think all the work Master Morya has created becomes obsolete in the minds of modern masters because they cannot get past the language of the time. It's a shame, and has created such work for me. Yet, I am happy to "make it new" if that's what it takes, to leave the written legacy once more, one people can relate too. Yet, in thirty years, it will sound as old as the New Age itself.
Instead of dismissing something because the language is not flashy and "new" enough, there is another option - one some might quite enjoy. Read with your consciousness, and only allow the mind to act as the servant to the will of the soul.
However, I will say translating this into "new" language feels entirely natural like I have been studying and practicing for the role, this act of consciousness, for millenia. In my sleep, my studies in the mystery schools come back to me. My private tutorials with the Masters of the Far East pour in. I am in at least six places at once.
I am under the Banyan Tree. I am daily with M. Babaji and he shows me the enlightenment map - the Earth spread out and where the corners of the million souls waking up exist each day with little starry dots across the black Earth.
I don't just read the books on my desk, I go inside of them and interact with the author and his or her intent and the choosing of each word and the energy placed in the space between each word and each punctuation.
I talk with you all on what questions you have remaining in your final steps into the Third Circle or the questions you have in the Third Circle - whether you are conscious of it or not. I sit with El Morya and he goes over the conversations we have held for eons. Remember. Remember. Remember.
It is the unfolding of the next phase in this Divine Will experience for me. The first being trusting enough to create a no energy needed space for the Center of Being - no advertisements - no fees - no social media systems. The next was abundance dropped off at my front door stoop in a giant freaking bag.
Yet why now? Why am I just now ready?
It is all coming to the surface, yet it is only coming to the surface now because of the Divine Will experience I describe below. Without it, I was just playing old games with my remaining aspects and calling it enlightenment. Irreversible. No going back. Imposible, in Spanish. Nicht möglich, in German. No going back.
THE ENERGETIC DYNAMICS OF ASPECTS TRANSFIGURING INTO FACETS OF SELF
Through the Divine Will experience:
Back to my original point. Hopefully, if needed, I talked you out of your mind by now and into the vast expanse of the oceanic waters of your consciousness.
The sacred art of surrender is not a surrendering of the Soul over to God external, which is not a being but a consciousness. We all understand that here.
Rather, it is a surrendering of the free will of the aspects - roles, past lives, humanly passions that disastrously distract - to the Will of the Soul.
Yet, that Soul also contains the Will of God - the part of that greater God creator consciousness that lives within us. No matter how much we have attempted to destroy it throughout our cycle of lifetimes on Earth - it is always there and always will be. You cannot fight that, though some of us have tried and tried and tried.
Then, in our 'last' lifetime, we integrate those experiences of the roles, lifetimes, and in between lives. Man have we ever integrated.
If you have been with the Crimson Circle for a while, you have integrated again and again and again. If you have been part of the spiritual, new age communities, you have released and released and released.
I beg to offer a new energy dynamics - though it is not new at all but simply said in what I hope are modern enough terms for you, the modern masters.
Upon integration/ release/ whatever the heck you want to call it, the "matter", the knowledge gained from those experiences (now finished) of the soul like any matter disintegrates - the death that occurs in all nature. Upon death, or disintegration, is the resurrection, the new life. The cycle as a whole is distillation of the wisdom gained through the entirety of the cyclical experience.
Like the grape vines growing in my back yard, each winter the leaves fall off in death and then disintegrate. The vines themselves become brown and dormant. The same dry leaves that fall to the ground in their deaths provide the moist fertilizer for the soil housing the roots of the vines as they decompose.
The sun shines, the rain pours and by September, the grapes appear back on the vine - sweet, sweet grapes - and the cycle continues.
Yet, the grape vine is not the same. Through each cycle of the seasons the vines spreads, the grapes become sweeter, more mature. That is why wine makers in France produce quality wines. The matured vines they boast are centuries old. The vines have become the masters of the production of their fruits.
Speaking of France, I go back to the Gospel of Mary Magdalene and an old Sar'h Story.
All that is born, all that is created, all the elements of nature are interwoven and united with each other. All that is composed shall be decomposed; everything returns to its roots; matter returns to the origins of matter.
That is why so often Mary of Magdala is depicted with a skull at her feet, like in the statue many of you have seen at Rennes-le-Château. Without death there is no life, no resurrection. Aspects do not turn into facets without death. Without death, there is no enlightenment.
In the releasing of the free will of our aspects, in surrendering the free will of our aspects, in integration of the free will of our aspects, they too die like the unpicked grapes and the leaves of the grape vines. They disintegrate and then upon hitting the soil below integrate in their decomposed state of existence back into the soil - the all that is, the body of consciousness, the Universe of You.
In their rebirth, in the Divine Will experience, the aspects take on a new form - that of facet. The facet is then a chela (Sanskrit "to serve", a servant) to the I AM, the soul, the master self - whatever verbiage you may resonate with. The facet is in service to the Divine Will - the will of the Soul or God Self.
As people feel called to join us on the Third Circle page, El Morya has advised me of a need for an "application" which is important mainly for making sure people agree to the below disclaimer. Please take a look at it when you have a chance. If you recommend this space to others, please send them to this PAGE to fill out the form.
I want to keep this space free from all the things we agreed on - no advertisements, no ostracizing no matter how radical the view, and more so free from heavy mental judgements which seem to plague other spaces. Also, for me, I do not want to have to explain very basic understandings of enlightenment. This is place for those deeply and madly in love with Self- realization and the embodied enlightenment experience - for those who have ended the karmic cycle of lifetimes and ponder what's next, those who want to create what's next.
To read the old, with your consciousness and your mind facet which has become knowledge driven rather than logic driven.
To read the words of El Morya from linear year 1973.
To know it was Tobias who brought it back some decade ago.
To know it is nothing new, yet your understanding of the God Self could be transfigured - once again.
An experiment for the truth, if you will.
HOW I CONNECT WITH YOU
I can actually feel how each and every one of you reacts to what I write. As soon as someone reads something I wrote, I know their reaction deep within the cells of my body and in between the cells. I know what I must do then to circumnavigate doubting aspects or find new language which suits the current situation. I know what is your I AM speaking to me (generally, and as a group whole) and I know what is not, with both discernment and compassion, and without you writing a single word. It allows me to mold and shift my words to fit your passions and desires to capture a snapshot of this beautiful embodied enlightenment experience. My human would not choose this role, but my soul has. Trust me, before I hit publish, my human heart skips a beat, and my I AM shines like a diamond - simultaneously.
DISCLAIMER FOR EVERYTHING I WRITE, HAVE WRITTEN OR WILL WRITE
The author of this website and all the material included does not dispense medical or psychological advice or recommend the use of any specific technique or treatment without the advice of a physician or mental health professional. The author is not a medical or mental health professional. This writing is for entertainment purposes only.
The information contained herein is only the author’s personal experiences. In the event you use the information contained in this book or on this website for yourself, the author and publisher do not assume responsibility for your actions or outcomes. This is your journey, and you are responsible for all the creations in your life. Should you need medical or mental health support, please seek the advice of a licensed professional in your area.
By continuing in the Third Circle here with us, you have agreed to the disclaimers. Should you not agree, please send me a note, which will allow me to remove you from our list. Thank you so much for understanding.