Master Friendships & Loneliness
Every morning I wake up. I have a cup of coffee, sit on my back patio (or the patio of the rental I am in) to get some fresh air and look at the moon, sun, or stars, depending on the time, and then come to my computer to write.
With D here I never feel alone, even though he is usually down in the basement studio by now working on his latest sculpture. When he is not here, I never feel alone because I am writing to you and for you, capturing moments of realization with the words available to us, and perhaps introducing new ones.
Indeed, Este has created a new story board on Ryver to collect the flashes of realization as they occur in a moment. You might check that out and share an Aha! or two. I love to go check in on that page for some conscious conversation.
The words I share are not new rather but a blending of the concepts of realization from the language of the Masters of the Far East and the blending of Western concepts of realization, currently dominated by the Crimson Circle organization - at this point in time and space.
Further, my - or our - ascended master friends, including but not limited to M. Babaji, P. Yogananda, El Morya, Blavatasky, Mark Prophet and Liora AND whether I say it or not Kuthumi is always here too.
When I go through conversations with the beings who grace my space and this space with their presence, Kuthumi always sticks his head out and says, "Me too. I am here." My friend Tess also has a deep friendship with him like I have with Master Morya, and he seeps in that way too and always brings a laugh between the two of us.
In one of the comments, I am not sure if you missed it, D so eloquently captured the essence of something. We were discussing realization-related organizations and he said Crimson Circle was a way to keep us alive and entertained while realization happened naturally. For me, that could not be more true and there is always an AND or many ANDs.
First of all, the Crimson Circle program called Aspectology gave me the words to describe what was happening as all the past lives returned to me. It allowed me to begin to discern what was the voice of my master self, of the soul, or the I AM, the part of me that has always been and will always be - from the aspects of self.
Who was in charge here? Who was creating my reality? AND, it made me feel as if I was not going crazy. I was talking to all these different parts of Self, negotiating with them before I knew better, and basically going on my daily hikes talking with the many voices that make up Self.
Modern psychology would call this multiple personality disorder or schizophrenia. My Austin, Texas New Age community would say they were evil spirits and would have sold me a session with a medium to clear out the spirit. I could go on...Yet, the Crimson Circle class told me I was not alone and I was not crazy. What a nice gift.
Geoffrey, who founded the Crimson Circle, wrote about this in the last magazine article, that was emailed out yesterday. My curiosity gets the better of me and I like to step into how others view things from the inside. I also like to see what similarities lie between what I share and others share, in hindsight.
Another thing he talked about other than Crimson Circle classes and workshops being an anecdote for loneliness what something I have said time and again. There's a whole host of beings - who want to be your friend and support you in embodied realization. You are never alone. In fact, the company is quality - no feeding, infinite wisdom, no social media forum needed.
This is founding tenant of this space - A place for embodied and ascended masters to join together for a time, something we will do again on January 16th's New Moon, yet you need never wait for a formal gathering - something I lay out on the Magic page.
But first back to the classes as an anecdote for loneliness on this experience of embodiment. When I first joined Keahak in 2014, it was a saving grace for me - just like the Aspectology school. I had no friends to talk to and met a few on the Keahak forum, and enjoyed them until the conversations became draining.
But once we go beyond the classes - there is nothing left for me to take - and the forums on the Keahak page and Facebook no longer resonate with us - is it then we are alone?
No! First of all I have created this space for such people. What happens after the classes and workshops, when we do not want to pay thousands of dollars to hang out with our master friends and sit in rows of chairs for hours on end, when we no longer need it or seek the experience of it?
For those, there is the Center of Being. And hopefully, other pages and spaces will pop up as more and more people finish their studies and begin to LIVE the TRIPLE E (embodied enlightenment experience) rather than study it in separation from application.
I do not want to own this space of graduates. Instead, I hope to see more and more of it expanding for people from all walks of life. I hope to keep this small and know each of you beyond a number in an excel spreadsheet. That's not my way.
If you have not looked through it, there are over 55 comments on our Introductions page HERE. We have sixty people registered for the website and about half of those joining us on Ryver. If you have not read through them or responded to new people - Ruth and Sue - just introduced themselves, I would encourage you to do so. For those who find words escape them right now, or it is simply too laborious to type, I understand. I sense you and I offer an alternative.
Send me a message or your friends here a message or reply without using the computer, or a pen. I can hear you all loud and clear, though my human does appreciate the feedback and works to incorporate it back into the offerings as much as possible. I will respond in kind in the method of the message delivery.
Going back to Geoff's article, it also mentioned in the last Keahak, and something I have repeated time and time again. There are so many beings who are honoring you and supporting you in your journey. Beyond what I write and share, beyond the workshops, books, lessons, and channels, there are Ascended Masters who would love to share directly with you without the influence of maya, or duality. Masters who are not beholden to any energy outside of themselves.
Most importantly, in the last Keahak session, Adamus St. Germain said something that really disturbed me AND I am so glad he brought it up. He said he had an etheric gathering with the master selves of each of the participants and came up with a list of things that the Master wanted to share with the human (I will post this list on Ryver).
For example, dear human, don't expect the Master to solve your problems, don't beg the master to solve your problems. Another part of the homework was the human consciously talking with the master. He suggested having time each day to talk with the master. Wait, people are not doing this already? It was hugely informative for me and without judgement.
If this is still going on, I am so glad Adamus brough it up. You cannot move forward without this relationship. I will also note, these basic principles were covered so well in Adamus' book "Act of Consciousness" as was New Energy Creation, which Adamus said is something he will cover in Keahak. It was all in that book - everything - he is repeating it - yet again. I am in awe of how much he has to repeat himself and his commitment to do so until people begin to live it. It is an unwavering commitment.
For me, and many of you on here, the master and the human are no longer separate. They are One. In the divine will experience, you no longer grasp onto the human perceived free will (the perception of control) for divine will of the I AM, the soul, the eternal...and the human simply becomes integrated as well. I feel no separation anymore. However....
The process Adamus lays out is very helpful. It was helpful for me - like I wrote about in my book - to separate the human from the soul voice and have those deep conversations.
That was what my New Energy Creator business I had for three years was about. I taught hundreds of people to have these sacred conversations with Self. To discern soul from human, from aspects. And, it is something I would recommend until the two merge in divine union within you.
Back to the loneliness - as I said I do not feel it anymore yet it was once debilitating - however, when I hear a Keahak session like the last one and visit the forums several things happen....
1) Compassion for people still struggling to locate and speak with their "master" selves.
(Xanthe - I don't like the word either but not have not something to replace it. When you don't have separation between "human" and "master" indeed the words sound funny...)
2) Behind the short wall, I am cheering my ass off for those courageous enough to embark on brining the master into their physical body and bringing awareness to the conversations between human and master, which already occur. No longer taking clients to help them find their voice, I feel I truly am behind the short wall for the first time in a while. And as I said, I am cheering with radiating my own light rather than clapping and yelling from behind the short wall.
3) At a personal level, I realized months or perhaps a year back I no longer fit into the group I once found refuge in.
My friend Iiro once told me don't get off the roller coaster too soon, you'll be standing in the amusement park parking lot alone.
Am I in the parking lot? Yes. Alone? NO.
For there is a Banyan Tree just beyond the edges of the roller coaster theme park. Only those who can see the path unfold before their eyes will be able to find it. When they are ready. Something they can only decide for themselves.
There, they will find me and Master Morya floating under the majestic, golden hues of the Banyan Tree of BEING.
Never alone, human and master as One Self.
BEING is defined here as perpetual becoming. It is never static and always dynamic. Instead of human control, there is a divine unfolding. We may appear to not be moving to any destination, yet motion does not require movement.
Motion does not require movement.
If you are still dividing human and master, and bringing awareness to the conversations between them, BRAVO.
That is truly amazing, and I will tell you they do merge as one soon enough, so enjoy the ride.
AND let me tell you a story about creating the ONE of Self below.
D told me yesterday the words for human free will and divine will are different for him. He said he like perceived human control and divine unfolding, instead. Indeed, I love the unfolding piece.
When I was pondering no energy creation laying in bed one night, I saw creation as a blooming flower. The seed begins to sprout and the petals unfold one at a time until the flower can no longer hold itself constricted and simply bursts open in bloom.
What I see with having to mechanize conversations with the human and soul is that it can go two ways or both ways.
It can coax the flower into blooming. It can be the water to the soil and the sun in the sky that supports this divine unfolding. If you allow it to be so.
Yet, if it becomes too mental, too forced - as I have seen in my previous client work. It would be like trying to glue the petals onto the flower mechanically, without allowing it to simply bloom. The application of the materials is always up to the listener, the student. Yet, something to ponder in creations as well.
I see "masters" trying to build things instead of create things (through soul expression) in the same way. They raise funds to buy petals and glue. They say their soul's desire is to have these funds to buy the petals and glue that is needed to create the flower when really that is the human's way.
It's a conscious creation they say. Indeed, they are aware they are creating a flower, but it's fake. It's not really a flower, it's an illusion of a flower. The master who exists within the veils of Maya, the great cosmic illusion, rather than expanded beyond the veils of Maya, our new series...
In no energy creation, you take a seed, one that you found while strolling peacefully on a walk. You plant it into the ground and say if it blooms that will be nice, if it doesn't, that will be nice, too.
If it's the will of the I AM, to express itself in this flower, the seed will begin to sprout. Each day it will grow a little taller.
As it grows, the master does not feel attached to the outcome at all. It does not listen to or allow the begging and pleading of the human: "If I just had this flower, I will be whole. Please master make this flower bloom."
No. That's not how it works, and eventually the human surrenders its perceived control to the "All that is" within themSelves.
One petal in the bud will open under the glowing sun. The master may go on a long hike, gone for weeks, and then walking back down the path the master is surprised to find a fully bloomed rose bush to enjoy. He or she will say: "I had forgotten all about the seed I planted."
The master laughs at the beautiful creative expression of Self - one he or she completely forgot about in the state of Being Enlightenment - and then sits down to enjoy his or her creation until it returns, disintegrates back into the soil from which it came.
The Body in the Triple E
The body issues we go through are much like the flower blooming. The seed when it cracks open to sprout will feel some discomfort. The seed does not go to a doctor or homeopath to bandage and treat the open wound. It knows it is part of the divine unfolding.
A personal example: In November when sitting in my New Mexico rental I felt a deep tension in my back and neck. It was no where near the surface, so it was not ready to come out yet.
"We (human and master as one) are going to release that soon, " I heard voice from within say. "Okay, no worries, no hurry."
Then in December I woke up one morning to a sharp pain in my back. I took note and went about my day. By the evening the knot had moved up to my neck.
"No worries. No hurry."
Two days later my lymph nodes in my neck swelled to ping pong balls. The next two days it was a sore throat, yet the lymph nodes went down and the back had long since stopped hurting as the dis-ease in the body moved around like a lose marble in my physical body.
The flower was blooming, and with each perceived discomfort moving through my body, that which no longer served would bloom into a beautiful rose, and then disintegrate back into the earth's soil from which it came, my body.
I will write more about the body but please note:
I am not a doctor. You are responsible for all your life's creations. This is not advice but for entertainment purposes only. Please use discernment in the body for which you are solely responsible for.
These stories are in the format of the book, Memoirs of a Master by Adamus Saint-Germain. I love reading this book from the perspective of a new master, and the learning curve that comes with it - rather than the perspective of a student - although I can identify with that as well.
I have written it in third person to make it clearer for me - Sar'h, my master Self, and Lauren, the human. Please note sometimes I use composite characters and the timeline may very slightly from linear time for story sake, and I do not view the world in linear time. You can click on 'Memoirs of a Modern Master' in the categories section to your right to read all of them. Enjoy!
It was April 2016, and Lauren had signed up for a consciousness-workshop on creation in Hawaii. She could not wait to go back to the island to swim with the beloved spinner dolphins and bring some of what she knew about manifestation and creation back down to the physical Earth.
One day of the workshop, the channeler of an Ascended Master was going on about what he called BON - it was a really fascinating topic. In one of his lectures, the Ascended Master asked who had flown first class to the workshop.
Lauren had flown first class many times and had the money to do so. Yet, she did not for this particular workshop because the flight was a short domestic one. Her roommate at the workshop Andrea had - you can read about her story in the memoirs too.
The ascended master then told all the students, that they should have flown first class. Lauren understood what he meant. He was saying abundance was there to choose, to claim as the master. Yet, Lauren did not need a first class ticket to prove this, so she kept her economy class ticket, happily.
Lauren, the human, and Sar'h, the master both knew abundance was a sensation flowing like a river inside of the soul. Neither needed a ticket to prove it to anyone.
Others, like Andrea, took Facebook photos of the event to show their "master" friends on Facebook how abundant she was. Add the super conscious hashtags here, but that's another story - one Lauren will need to own as well.
That night at dinner, Lauren walked past a table of workshop attendees having dinner. They were all on the phone.
Her friend Magi I was at the dinner table.
"Why is everyone on the phone?" she asked.
"They are all calling to upgrade their flights because (the ascended master) said they should," he replied.
They both had a chuckle. Lauren had not been invited to this dinner. What a relief that was.
"Watch this," Sar'h, Lauren's master Self, said to Lauren, the human.
Lauren noticed after they got off their phones everyone was arguing over the bill from dinner. There was not enough money to cover the dinner and tip.
The banter went back and forth - "You had two wines, not one..." she heard one "master" say to the other.
Magi I had plenty of money - he too, like Lauren felt he did not need to upgrade his flight.
Silently, Magi I left a $100 bill on the table to cover the bill and left.
"It was easier than arguing with them," he said and shrugged his shoulders. The people at the table didn't even notice. Or thank him.
They both chuckled at the fact that everyone was spending thousands to upgrade their flight, while they could not come up with $20 for dinner.
Later, Magi I and Lauren ordered some champagne to drink and talk about the perceived limitations of these masters - not to judge but to learn the behavior of humans coming from awakening into the embodied enlightenment experience - something that was of benefit to what they were creating, what role they played.
Later in the workshop, the channeled Ascended Master said there was no need to workout in a gym for hours anymore. He introduced what he called the 60-second workout.
Later that day, Lauren walked past the hotel gym. There was the channeler and his wife in their workout clothes. One was furiously peddling on a stationary bike and the other on a treadmill.
"Look," said Sar'h. "There is something for you to see here."
Lauren thought it was strange that the channeler would say one thing and then act another way, she told Sar'h.
"Exactly!" Sarah replied.
"When we create our own ways of sharing what we know - there will be no discord between what we share and how we live. We will not be channeling an outside entity, either. We aren't judging these people at all. We are simply discerning for the future of our own creations."
Later that trip, Lauren's flight was cancelled because of a snow storm back in Denver. She treated herself to a beautiful hotel room on the other side of Hawaii's big island - still quite less than the first class ticket, but Lauren never counted pennies.
Lauren and Sar'h then had their own vacation together, master and human and soul squeezed in between. Together, they talked about creation and what they would create in this lifetime. It was a beautiful creation to have these three days alone. Masterly, if you will.
When Lauren got on the cheap flight home to Denver she noticed she had the whole row of seats all to herself. The flight attendant brought her a blanket and invited her to spread out and take a nap on the plane ride home. If that wasn't first class, she didn't know what was. Lauren remembered she had not worked out the whole trip, yet her body felt leaner and lighter than ever.
Lauren and Sar'h, the new master, returned to Denver with a full bank account and a fuller heart, a heart full of self-love and self-discernment - knowing what served her in any given moment no matter what the channeled Ascended Master had said and knowing deeply what did not - teaching one thing and living another. These realizations would stick with her for years to come.
These stories are in the format of the book, Memoirs of a Master by Adamus Saint-Germain. I love reading this book from the perspective of a new master, and the learning curve that comes with it - rather than the perspective of a student - although I can identify with that as well. I have written it in third person to make it clearer for me. Please note this is a composite character and the timeline may very slightly from linear time for story sake.
The master, Sar'h, had a friend who proclaimed she desperately wanted to achieve enlightenment in this life. Let’s call her Andrea. Andrea took all the courses - she had for two decades, maybe more. She spoke the conscious language like a pro, yet she always seemed to be in some sort of external battle - clearly a distraction from having to face what was going on inside of her.
Andrea came to the master one day asking for money. $5,000 to be exact. To be paid back in two months with interest, of course. The money was for her new business. She had taken a course on conscious creation, and she was going to get it right this time, applying what she learned.
The master looked into her purview. The master did not see her as a student but also a dear friend. When she looked into the body of consciousness of the friend, she knew that there was no way the business was going to succeed, yet the master knew that Andrea needed to have this experience - to fall on her face - to see what was really occurring within her. In fact, Andrea's soul even begged to have the experience - to create an opportunity for the human Andrea to step out of the prison she created over and over and over again.
The master had plenty of money - she never had to work since she stepped into her mastery. But her human self wanted to warn the friend that she would fail and lose money. The master in her said that was not appropriate and this friend needed to learn the lesson on her own - to integrate it - so she lent her the money. And then she waited and watched.
Catastrophe after catastrophe occurred in Andrea’s life. The new master watched with compassion. She never judged her friend, but watched with compassion Andrea fall and fall again. Andrea finally came to her. I am so sorry I cannot pay the money back.
Then the master noticed Andrea was constantly spending money on things the master never spent money on. She was always paying for sessions with spiritual teachers, going out and buying expensive meals and fancy alcoholic drinks, chiropractors, body treatments, new clothes, new shoes. The list went on.
After a year passed, the master said relaxed and calm, "Hey, it is time to pay me back, friend."
By this time Andrea admitted the she had spent the money on the business she had now abandoned. After some conversations, Andrea finally admitted she had a retirement account that she could use to pay the master back. The money was coming any day now, Andrea told the master over and over again.
The master felt steady in that she would pay her back, and she was not worried about it. Yet, watching Andrea she knew she had not learned her lesson. She watched Andrea continue to spend money with reckless abandon. Andrea kept saying she would pay the money back. That she was back on track. That she had a new business plan. That she wasn't shopping anymore. Well, Andrea, said a lot of things. In fact, she rarely stopped talking; she rarely listened.
The thing is Andrea was being as honest as she knew how to be. In her mind, she had it all figured out. She twisted around the language of the spiritual teachers she followed to fit her situation. She said this situation had been about self-love - something all the teachers were talking about these days. The master knew that Andrea could not love herself because she did not know herself.
Yet, the master knew as much as Andrea thought she was telling the truth, she was not only lying to the master - worse - she was lying to herself. She had lied to herself for so long, she didn’t even know the truth anymore.
Lauren, the human, was heartbroken, watching the destruction occur helpless, yet her inner master said this was an important experience to have, to bring Lauren through. The master said there was a learning curve in owning her mastery in this life, and this friend was showing her something worth more than $5,000 - worth more than money could buy.
The master and Lauren both gently hinted about being paid back and what was going on in Andrea’s life. Andrea asked for advice almost daily now, but never actually listened to what the master had to say - showing her where to look not what to see.
Andrea continued in her ways. When she drank too much at an event she would cling her glass to give a toast in which she proclaimed her mastery and extreme abundance. Her speeches were Oscar-worthy, the master noted.
Lauren counted at the master's advising. Seven times over the course of one year, she gave Andrea the advice she asked for. She was patient in being paid back. Then she watched Andrea spend more than the money owed on frivolous gifts for herself and others.
On the eighth time Andrea came to the Master for advice and to apologize and to give excuses again for not paying her back, the master flipped her demeanor.
“Not only have you disrespected me, Andrea,” she said. “Worse, you have disrespected yourself.”
Andrea protested in alarm. “I have not. I have been totally honest with you.”
“You have the money to pay me back in your retirement account, Andrea,” the master said. “I expect by the end of the week.”
“That’s going to put me in a bind, “ Andrea told the master. “I have to pay taxes on the money to give it to you. Couldn’t I just pay you back over time, in small installments?”
The master had allowed the installments once before with another student, a student who also did the same things as Andrea. She knew that old trick. It was something she did not need to learn again.
"Thank goodness," Lauren thought, relieved. Lauren, the human, had found this whole situation stressful. The master, Sar'h, was calm and that calmed her too, but this was a friend - one she could lose. The master said she had to be prepared for that - at anytime. Becoming was not in alignment with belonging. Compassionate detachment, the master called it.
“NO!” the master said firmly to Andrea.
Lauren could not believe this person was feeling inconvenienced when it was her, the master who was inconvenienced by the whole ridiculous situation. The master, Sar'h, reminded Lauren to breathe - we were learning how not to be affected by those around us, especially not by our students.
Students - Lauren hated the word and what it meant - but she agreed this experience could be categorized as nothing else in human words. Yet there was no pay. There was no classroom. "Interesting," Lauren thought.
Andrea was alarmed and shocked at the master's change of demeanor. Andrea lacked the self-awareness to know the master had given her seven chances over more than a year to make good on her promise. Andrea was so unaware she could not remember all the excuses, the apologies.
Andrea could not see that her spending habits were a huge disrespect to the master who had shown up for her - that is until the master was forced to point it out, no matter how painful it would be to Andrea.
At this point, the master seemed like the most unkind person in the world. Lauren hated being disliked, but the master in her said that was part of her own lesson in all this. Becoming and belonging do not go hand and hand, Sar'h reminded her again. Sometimes the kindest act of mastery is to draw a line of intolerance.
Andrea had studied enough to understand on some level. She cashed out her retirement account and paid the master back.
“I really learned the lesson this time,” Andrea told the master and herself another lie. She apologized yet again. And again.
Two months later, homeless, Andrea was asking to sleep on people’s couches. Yet, instead of changing her habits, Andrea continued to buy expensive meals, pay for beauty treatments, and she drank alcohol at every chance she got, often running up very large bar tabs.
The master in total love and compassion watched, knowing - one day, perhaps not in this lifetime - Andrea would look back and appreciate the lesson, but not until it sunk in - when she finally stopped lying to herself, many, many moons from now.
The master had planted a seed that could only bloom when awareness was chosen by Andrea, and Lauren let all the stress and any human ill will go, fly away, knowing that she had stepped further into her mastery and the learning curve that comes with stepping into her new role.
Andrea despised the Master, who lived in Lauren's human body. When she drank wine with her friends she talked about how mean Lauren was. Yet, Andrea's soul sighed and knew what the Master showed her.
Lauren, the new Master, never cared for she knew what was really going on. The lies we tell ourselves are so seductive. It wasn't so long ago that Lauren had lied to herself, too.
Lauren as the master, Sar'h, knew there was no need anymore to defend her behavior to those who could not see it the gifts given, for they had not yet been received.
Lauren, in her new state, realized that being a friend, in the human sense of the word, in this situation was not possible.
A "friend" in the human sense would continue to play the game - she would continue to advise, to support these lies that hurt no one more than they hurt Andrea. A "friend" would continue to build up Andrea, to be her cheerleader in the games Andrea was playing with herself.
Lauren had to stay steady in her mastery, steady in her firm boundaries, or she too would be just like Andrea - blinded not by the need to have more money --- but by her own need to belong.
To be continued….
Author's Note: I think the story begets two things: asking us to be honest about our current state of being with ourselves and for ourselves only, AND recognizing the learning curve that is stepping into mastery, such as realizing the definition of friendship expands and shifts in the new 'role.'
Just like when we abandoned our human lives upon awakening, it is often that we must shed our 'conscious workshop' friends for a time too after we have stepped like a babe into our mastery. Ascended Masters like El Morya are always there to 'lend a hand'. Not with advice or energy but by holding the consciousness of BEING as a sort of welcome mat for those who have entered the embodied enlightenment experience. When you get there, if you are not there already, Sar'h too will stand next to the welcome mat in your honor.
This letter was dictated to me by El Morya on September 12, 2017, in Kuta, Bali, Indonesia for the patrons of the page. The pledges totaling about $2,500 from Patreon, will pay for this website to run for the next five years. All of us at the Center of Being greatly appreciate the support. - Lauren
Dearest friends and patrons of the page,
My what a journey we have been on the last few months, and well, lifetimes. Yet, you all know the embodied enlightenment experience is not a journey arriving at any particular destination, but rather an experience beyond linear time and space.
We looked at discernment. We looked at judgments. We examined human systems – both their benefits and limitations.
You already understand deeply there is no right or wrong once perceived through the duality of human judgments – yet there now there is only what serves now and what no longer serves.
Discernment is just that - knowing what serves you and lifts up your soul’s ignited passion to know itself- to know the God self within - and knowing, firmly yet with compassion, what no longer serves your divine purpose - beyond distraction.
Finally, and most spectacularly, we explored the depths of sovereignty. Rather than myself or Lauren telling you what sovereignty looked like for you, we held an expanded space for you to discern what sovereignty looked like both for your human and God selves. We looked at reconciling the two at a personal level.
Some of you yes, may still be giving sovereignty, or free will, to your thoughts and emotions. Those ever critical, sometimes blaming, sometimes fearful, repeating thoughts cycling through the Universe of You, are not something to be ashamed of. They are residual of the human lifetimes past.
As the thoughts clear in protest of no longer holding free will within the Universe of You, they tend to get louder just before they realize it is a lost battle, for you have no fight or force left within you at your core SELF. Let us wave and smile as they walk out the door, knowing how much they served us at a point in our existence.
Some of you chose to dive deeply into what free will looked like for the human self and have chosen to melt seamlessly into divine will, as part of the natural evolution of SELF.
You are just now beginning to understand the ineffable magnificence of God, which resides within you. Yes, I am here to tell you, of course, there is much more when you are ready.
Others are still waiting and watching a bit unsure of giving up the free will of the human self – the free will of your thoughts, emotions, and yes, your human creations too. Knowing you do not ever have to renounce anything external, the inner renunciation takes some time, or relaxation rather, to unfold. You and you alone can only define what perceived fear is holding you back from stepping into divine will.
Lauren personally asked for me to help shine a light on these remaining attachments, in which her soul showed her (not me) exactly where the fear resided. All it took was awareness of SELF for those attachments to dissolve. I am always available to support you personally. All you need do is call me and show up as the master, as you would say.
For some of you, Lauren included, it may feel like you are abandoning your human self by flowing into the divine will of the soul. I can assure you it is not happening. Instead, you are moving from any human construct that is not in resonance with your divine will.
You fear you will lose your uniqueness in this transition and the recognition you have come to depend on at the human level, but it is not so. You are all diamonds radiating the will of God in your own light.
In this experience in my last life on Earth, I found I became more of myself, not less of – “much more muchier” as Lauren once wrote in Thirty Days of Self-Love.
I know you do not like the word service, and I understand that completely. Service once meant indentured servitude and locked you in a prison in other lifetimes. Service has dimmed your light, and those life experiences have been distilled into the soul’s wisdom.
Any pain or trauma from the concept of service has been integrated and turned back into light. When I say light, I do not mean light in opposition to the dark. I am speaking of a cellular shift – one from density into expansion, from physical to ethereal. It was only in the attachment to a dualistic view of right and wrong that the word lost its true meaning.
Instead, please allow me to honor your legacy instead – a word that stands in resonance with many of you.
- Here El Morya is sharing a deep sensation of appreciation and honor without appropriate words. -
For every thought pattern that loses its grip on you, for every emotion which no longer holds free will governing your life, you open up a passage, a creative potential, for individuals in the world consciousness to move from mental focus into soul focus into the God consciousness, should they choose it.
– Master M says he is so glad he can use the word God now without it being misconstrued - the traditionally Eastern understanding of God within SELF. -
In conclusion, I want to remind you of what you already know. In the space of divine will, God internal does indeed take care of all your worldly desires in ways your human never could - money, relationships, everything in and beyond human imagination. It is the true creator nature that unfolds in releasing the free will of the human, which requires no effort, force, or materials to create the lives you desire.
To put it into your language, we are moving from the allowing of the human and master self to cohabitate into BEING in which the true sovereignty or independence of your soul rings in the totality of freedom.
I 'cannot wait' (he exudes passion here) to explore this more with you. It is an exciting ‘time’ from the view of the Ascended Masters, and we hope you will feel that joy from within the Source of Self, too.
I am with each and every one of you – though not needed - should you extend an invitation. Perhaps we can enjoy a cup of tea together one morning as friends. I would very much like that.
If you choose, pay close attention to your dreams. Not the human ones, but those from the God within you.
Expect miracles and a gift that could never be wrapped for it is far too grand. It is not a gift from me but rather from the God within the Universe of You.
In honor of you,
P.S. Perhaps as you move into divine will and left free will behind, you will mull over the word service once again outside the duality of teacher and student concepts – just like we have the concept of light above.
For Lauren, it has taken on a whole new meaning.
Housekeeping: I am currently going back to add the Patreon posts to the blog, so everything will be there. I am also posting the edited chapters of the 30-Days of Self-Love under that tab. This may take a while...Also, if you have not check out the Honors page. I am loving this new space and our comments. Thank you.
Some of the below story is a recap, and the new part is the in second portion.
Going back in time…In late September I was on an Balinese Island called Nusa Lembongan with my partner, who I call D. We did not do much while we were there - the beach, sunsets, playing cards, and I was writing a little.
One night in my lucid dream state, my soul said to me, “What if you had to give up one form of sovereignty for another?”
“Wait, what?” I couldn’t understand what the words meant. Then it hit me, I was trading the concept - some call an illusion - of human free will and trading it for another - divine will.
The series of events that happened afterwards were quite intense. For example, I had a deep soul notion that divine will meant for me closing down my business. Soul Session, El Morya channels for others, Patreon - basically all forms of income tied to my embodied enlightenment experience. It also included removing myself from all systems, when possible, such as Facebook, any groups other than this one, etc.
For new readers, we dove deeply into systems this summer before heading into divine will.
When I finally released it - the New Energy Creator experience - somewhere in Laos - and made the announcement that i was “retiring” and no longer playing in the channeling, soul session circus, I knew money to support me in my embodied enlightenment experience - if you are new we call this the triple E - was going to show up some how. And, 11 hours after the public announcement, a very large check was sent to me - one that would cover some years. Funding to be in the space beyond the noise - thank you, soul!
Yet, it wouldn’t have mattered. I’d be living in a forest if it had not because I simply cannot work even if it was conscious work. You can put lipstick on a pig, and it is still a pig.
Those of you who have been on this ride for some months already know this, yet we have a few new people, and I like the recap sometimes. Here's the new:
So between these events, D and I were in Hoi An, Vietnam. Here, riding bicycles is the way to get around. D was taking woodworking lessons with a master woodworker in the village nearby. The man have invited him over for a beer and dinner, so we were going to part ways near the bridge to the village from the town of Hoi An. I was going to find a place to people watch while D had his male bonding time.
Once he rode off, I started to feel very strange. I stopped my bike at a restaurant, and ordered a small appetizer. Then as I was waiting for it to arrive to my table, I had a horrific vision. I saw D floating facedown in a river. I knew somehow he had been struck on the head and then thrown into the river. My heartbeat in my chest was pounding so hard. It felt so real.
I attempted to calm myself down, to examine what I had saw. Then I could not longer resist it, and I went after him on my bike. After the dark ride, I ran into him, the woodworker, and his wife on the road outside the woodworking studio, and everything seemed to be okay. It was divine timing as they were headed to the couple’s house, which was deep in rice patties, of which I would not be able to find him. That surely would have caused a huge panic in me.
I did not tell D the story until we were riding home from the dinner.
“That’s so strange. I had a strange feeling, too. What if this was the last time we saw each other?” D said.
Back to the hotel safe and sound, I let it pass, yet I also knew it was some sort of post-traumatic stress incident. I know the feeling of that from what occurred after my father’s death. Anytime to the phone rang, I would sweat and hysterically cry, because that is how I was coldly notified by one of his neighbors of his death.
We continued to travel, and it did not come up again until we parted ways in India. I got on my separate plane home from Kolkata. On the plane ride, I saw it again - D facedown in river, beaten. Now logic actually came in handy - there is no river in the airport, and I knew D was not going to leave the airport to go into the chaos outside of it.
Yet, every cell in my body was lit up in trauma, in distress. I was crying involuntary. I was shaking. It was madness as I am usually not drawn into such dramas anymore.
Then, a more complete picture had come to mind. It was another (simultaneous) lifetime in which D was my partner and was killed by Roman soldiers and dumped into the river. I had found him there, and the trauma still exists. I'm sure you can image the trauma because you too have had the experience in so many lives.
In this lifetime, I was told it was the Will of God, and I didn’t understand the Will of God to be so cruel. It was the puzzle of lifetimes, and I understand it now, though I do not have words right now.
So as we bring up Divine Will - Soul Will - the Third Circle - whatever, I know first hand these traumas will shake themselves from our bones. And I use the word bones intentionally - as we discussed before - a lot of the rewiring of the nervous system has taken place to support the Triple E - for me, at least - and several of us talked about how the “upgrade” is now in our bones.
Right now I feel it in the space where the spine attaches to the back of the head. It’s a dull, annoying pain, in which remembering why it is there helps ease it. Hot water (the mineral hot springs were amazing) and a heating pad have worked wonders as my bones transfigure deep within, ridding the residual traumas, whatever they may be, without too many stories attached.
That's what I have for today. I am still recovering from all the travel and putting my house back together. And, I am so deep within myself it's been a bit harder to will the words. I'm sure it will loosen up soon as many of you have seen. I know I have said it too many times but I love our gatherings like the New Moon so much. It feels so supportive and beyond what we could do sitting in a room here on Old Earth. Thank you, again.
At your urging I am watching the shoud. Lots of great stuff so far but I loved the opening "ending" consciousness is a creative magnet. Because we tend to like human stories that match our mastery, I thought I would share a few.
I am currently visiting my mom for her 70th birthday. I have not spent time with her since July 2016, which was painful. She is a beautiful soul. She understands the true teachings of Yeshua. Yet, she is madly human. I mean energy grasping, mental as hell, well, human.
Someone once told me, if you think you are enlightened, go home for Christmas. Meaning, you would most certainly realize you were not.
Well, I have to tell you I am more bothered to be in a big city than in her company. I find the sound of the electricity wires in the street and all the street lamps more annoying than anything.
The noise is obnoxious, but I am still just as expanded. I have not shrunk to the situation. My experiences are not hindered either by the city or by my mom.
Last night I took a hot bath and talked to Yogananda about his poetry in the book, Songs of the Soul, which I highly recommend. I went to Theos after that. I will add I am not sleeping much, but I am entirely rested.
This time last year, I would have shrunk in my mom's presence and of course, blamed her, when everything is my own creation.
Here's the first story of consciousness is a creative magnet.
I have never worried about money even when I had none. The first Crimson Circle event I went to was Threshold in October 2015. Adamus asked me about money and I said I was tapped into the enlightenment trust fund.
Mind you this comment was stricken from the Threshold transcript in which I said, "I have an unlimited bank account."
Did I really have that in my actual bank account at the time? No. But I knew - not believed, KNEW it with my entire essence this to be the case.
Also, I did not spend money like a crazy person. Abundant people don't do that because they have nothing to prove to themselves or others. People wildly spending money are trying to convince themselves of something. My mom is the prime example.
I stand by my enlightenment trust fund theory although not being attached to HOW it shows up is essential. I also found being okay with being homeless and happy in a tent - i.e. not needing money - was the best way to attract it.
I believe any and all of us can tap into it at anytime. If someone calls me a trust fund baby, I say "why yes I am!"
My mom is the opposite. Everything is about money. Grabbing at having enough. We were shopping yesterday and picked out the exact same pillows. Mine were one color and hers another. My mom was rambling on about affording the pillows. I did not even check the tags.
We walked up to the check out counter.
The lady exclaimed to me, "These pillows are half off."
"Great!" I said.
My mom walked up with the same pillows in different colors. They were full price AND her coupons would not work. She argued over the coupons for sometime and paid twice the price for the same pillow.
Not only was there the physical experience. I sat back and watched the whole energy of the exchange. Feeling like you don't have enough put off a stinch, an energetic stink, in life that begets not having enough. Then comes the energy leak.
You already know all of this, but I sense you like the stories sometimes.
The second story:
I decided this year not to do Keahak. Then when it started I received five emails inviting me to join. I had donated to Crimson Circle to honor it and say goodbye around that time. Yet, I did not pay for Keahak.
"Hey, Adamus, is this a gift for me or a mistake?"
"No, it's a gift. I want you to listen one more year. Write your stories about it."
So I signed up, and must admit I have enjoyed it.
If you guys tell on me, no worries D has a subscription and Linda says partners can listen. Also, I will know it is one of 55 of you. Kidding. I know no one will do that.
My point. I wasn't even expecting it, and I received a hugely precious gift.
And I said, "Of course."
I could write pages on everything and anything landing in my lap my whole life but that will get obnoxious. The thing is I have never felt I needed anything. Whatever I had felt like enough for now. And always temporary.
I loved Adamus invitation to sense into consciousness as a creative magnet beyond any mental concept. If you mental-ize it, like the old "it comes to me" saying, it is not going to work.
Instead of "it comes to me" I'd rather say for myself "It comes FROM me. I created it without even knowing while I was hanging out in my tent happily."
Let me know if you like these stories or find them too human. I'm happy to discard them as I don't gain a whole lot from it. If it is helpful I will share from time to time like this.
Okay, I am going to finish that Should now. I like no bullshit Adamus act.
Also, I want to add that the more money I have, the less I want to own things. I love my old beat truck and a room without any nick knacks. The more stuff you own, the more it seems to own you. Give me a clean blank room in open natural landscapes over the Villa Ahmyo any day ;)
"The Ahmyo Life is not about being rich," Adamus said in the last Keahak.
In fact, I feel abundance has absolutely nothing to do with a bank account. It is when you feel passionate about creating something you can do so simply by being, without any dependence from outside of yourself.
Also, a concept from "The Red Lion" and Adamus' last life.
Something I will write about more...
Don't talk about night anymore! -
In our day there is no night.
In our religion of Love
There is no religion or love.
Love is the endless ocean of God
Yet a thousand souls, drowning in that ocean, cry out -
"There is no God!"
-Rumi, In the Arms of the Beloved
Any human who travels to far lands returns home forever changed. It’s no different for the conscious being. Yet, the magnitude of the earthquake of change upon arrive ‘home’ – with one thud of a heavy passport stamp – the world becomes different in ways previously unimaginable for the mere human traveler.
To know this yourself, you need not step on a plane or drive across borders – you need only expand your mastery in perspective and perceptions to seeing, sensing, and knowing deeply that everything – every little last thing in this life and all others – is and was an illusion.
“Who are you beyond these illusions?” Master M and Sar’h asked Lauren, the human who is finally catching up to her own mastery, as we flew sixteen hours across the world from New Delhi to New York.
It wasn’t just a question for me but for everyone who joined in the New Moon gathering of embodied and ascended masters.
I was able to see so clearly the roles I had played on the Earth’s stages. I was able to see how I was the writer and producer of my life. Knowing that used to be a big realization – I create my own reality. And then like any realization, there comes a point when it is time to let it all go, once again.
Something in me clicked – this was no longer needed, no longer desired - I did not need to write anymore human free will plays. In that realization, I completely had to let go of every single thing I have shared and wrote about on the New Energy Creator website.
In embodied enlightenment, these concepts of creatorship are outdated, and obsolete, though they were a vital part of my journey. You no longer need to create with New Energy (energy containing consciousness). Instead, creation requires no energy at all.
We are marked by the grace in which we let things go. I watched that body of work be sucked into the vortex of what no longer serves. What do I do with all the New Energy Creator work? I archive it into the library of the soul’s wisdom, and I walk on. It’s that simple.
In the New Moon gathering, I saw in divine will I was beyond acting roles, beyond writing a script, directing, and staring in it. For those roles were the will of the human and not the will of God.
In other words, in the will of God there is a different script, or perhaps none at all, Sar’h and Master M suggested, allowing me the wiggle room to discern for myself, as I will allow you to do as well.
So as I found myself behind the curtain of all stages, I had a backstage pass to watch as more things were sucked into the vortex of what was no longer mine. I watched the stories, the plays, and the movies that no longer served reverse with the changing tide of my soul’s wisdom.
I remember in 2014 standing at a Mayan ruin in southern Mexico. As I entered the hearth of a stone structure, I heard Sar’h and Master M telling Lauren, my human self, “Let go of the need for recognition.”
For years, in the human will, I felt I needed to become unattached to being seen, so that people would see me. In this New Moon moment, it became very clear that I no longer wanted recognition at all. Not wanting it did not mean letting go of it, not being tied to it, but really with every cell of my being desiring the opposite experience. I want to be left alone, to play no role at all, and simply BE in my own essence.
This trip was defined by the letting go of human free will and stepping into the will of God. There are several things that got twisted around by the human. I feel like it is hugely supportive to talk about what I got “wrong.” The feeling of embarrassment left me some years ago, anyway.
First, Master M said he was going to meet me in India. He certainly did but, of course, it was not on the old physical Earth. It was beneath a Banyan tree, of which only those with eyes can see it.
Going back to the beginning of the trip, I realized deeply that I would no longer be sharing with the audience that is Masters Hub and other groups spiraled off from the Crimson Circle. Not because it was wrong or bad – it serves many right now – but I had quickly outgrown it.
My human free will reasoned it was because we (multiple me) were “supposed to” “work with” a larger audience. In that human thought form, I created the ‘Return to Self’ series for a larger audience, advertised it as a way to explore this theory.
I could not have been more off. That is not what I am “supposed to do.” Too funny!
What I really did was set up my own energy portal for ME – not the readers – to Return to SELF, and what I found is I no longer want to teach anything, and I certainly do not want to work with anyone in awakening stages of realization.
Why? Because I can see, sense and know everything is perfect - absolutely perfect for them - and requires zero interference. Also, I do not enjoy it at all. More importantly, it is not the will of God.
Teaching is rarely, very rarely a divine will action. As I have seen in myself, it is so easy to turn and manipulate what is definitely human will into believing from a human perspective that it is divine will.
Sar’h ever so gently whispered, “Those who are out there teaching are doing so because they still need to learn the material themselves.”
It makes so much sense. All of what I have been sharing – writing the Thirty Days of Self-Love was about me finding that space for myself. Each client I met with and reflected their mastery back to was a way for me to reflect mastery back to myself. I no longer need the mirror – I can see myself so clearly in the darkness of the New Moon.
Yet, I took a pause to honor the experience that playing the teacher, facilitator role gifted me, and let it go, as it no longer serves.
So what does exist beyond the illusions of human free will living – for me?
There is one thing I kind of got right, or was at least on the right track. I said I would be “working with” those who are committed to the embodied enlightenment experience – beyond the circus, beyond the social media videos, beyond the cool kids club (none of which are wrong or bad but simply do not flow with the state of divine will).
I am not here to “work” with anyone, yet in this New Moon gathering, which created such an expansive space beyond the noise, I can see what I can offer you all and what you offer as well – a space for embodied masters and ascended masters to BE beyond all the human constructs and systems. That cannot be done on a Facebook platform. It cannot be done right now in a physical old Earth space. It can only be held beyond the illusions.
Myself and others like you are holding a space in the physical and Master M and his friends are holding a space in the ethereal for those who have the passion to stay here in body and BE. Not teach, not draw a crowd, but to simply be.
For that reason, I do not want this space to continue on Facebook or Patreon. By 2018, I’m going to move all this content onto a password protected website, which will include a forum for those who make the shift over. More updates on that will be forthcoming, but I did want to share my personal realizations before going into the bigger picture.
Note: The site was moved over here in November 2017.
Coming back from our journey, I cannot un-see what I saw. To know everything around you is an illusion is one thing and experiencing every single reality as a movie screen projected into the physical is quite another.
Since returning I have not had one brief moment in which I did not see the illusion clearly. Not a single second has passed in which I did not know I was walking though a movie set. The woman who passed me on the trail yelling at me to put my dog on a leash was nothing but an actor on the stage.
So what is real? Let me begin again, please.
Any human who travels to far lands returns home forever changed. It’s no different for the conscious being. Yet, the magnitude of the earthquake of change upon arrive ‘home’ – with one thud of a heavy passport stamp – the world becomes different in ways previously unimaginable for the mere human traveler.
To know this yourself, you need not step on a plane or drive across borders – you need only expand your mastery in perspective and perceptions to seeing, sensing, and knowing deeply (from experience, not a mental construct) that everything – every little last thing in this life and all others – is and was an illusion but one thing – that thing is called love.
Speak not of the human kind of love, but the kind you find in dark crevices in the space between the cells of your being. This kind of love is an experience that can only be found beyond the illusions and behind the curtains of all perceived realities.
The only thing real in this world free from illusion is this dark love – love you can only experience and know when you have given up the rest, including your human free will and any human passion beyond self-realization, through the art of complete surrender.
I will write it again. To experience this kind of love, you must see clearly and know deeply your perceived passions are but mere distractions.
It’s the kind of love that exists beyond the stages, beyond the movie projected, and it can only be sensed in the absence of that movie screen – one you can step away from for a time and space, like we did in the New Moon gathering, if you joined us.
This dark love - this love that exists outside illusion has another name. It is the Love of God, and that, my friends, is what we brought forth in the New Moon gathering and what I will continue to do each month should you feel compelled to join, checking your human free will at the door, please.
I hate to say it, but Adamus was right. Kuthumi was right. Master M was right. In this embodied enlightenment experience, you will not want to be social. You will not want to be online. Enjoy it while you can. Have the experience in the illusion.
One day you will wake up, and you will not want to play a role in the illusions anymore. You will see so clearly how nothing is authentic. Everything is an act. And for a time, you would rather be alone, wandering realities. The only company you will welcome is those who pass by who are also walking beyond the veil of illusion.
Like Kuthumi, you will want to talk to trees. Like Adamus, you will trade your proverbial castle for a forest. Like Master Morya, you will leave your role as prince and become the ruler of your own kingdom, instead.
And, just like anything else, that too will dissolve. But for a time, you will not want to play in the video game that is Earth’s illusions.
When Adamus first said these things, such as masters are not on Facebook. Masters don’t go to organized Shaumbra events. I said, “Hey buddy, you don’t get to define my enlightenment experience.” That was the human free will talking.
I will not speak for you all, but for me, he was entirely spot on.
I feel the need to untangle myself from all the roles I created. The master laughs and says, “Hey, just walk away.” And so I am.
I will continue to meet you all in the space beyond the noise, beyond the veils of illusion, and in complete resonance with the dark love, that is the love of God (SELF).
As we said before, once you stop grasping at the figurative $100 bill, there are millions waiting for you on the 'other side', and those riches are found only in the love of God.
Creation no longer requires New Energy; it requires no energy, no effort at all. In fact, it is essential that you do not use effort or energy in your creations in this space.
This is something we’ve been discussing at length and will some more.
I will also be sharing about PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) as related to stepping into divine will.
On Wednesday, I am headed to the desert of New Mexico before going to visit my mom. I will surely be bringing anyone with me who wants to come visit and have a cup of tea, go for a long walk among the desert sands, and of course, play with Professor Ollie.
Thank you for your gracing this space with your essence. Oh be ahn, fellow travelers!