This letter was dictated to me by El Morya on September 12, 2017, in Kuta, Bali, Indonesia for the patrons of the page. The pledges totaling about $2,500 from Patreon, will pay for this website to run for the next five years. All of us at the Center of Being greatly appreciate the support. - Lauren
Dearest friends and patrons of the page,
My what a journey we have been on the last few months, and well, lifetimes. Yet, you all know the embodied enlightenment experience is not a journey arriving at any particular destination, but rather an experience beyond linear time and space.
We looked at discernment. We looked at judgments. We examined human systems – both their benefits and limitations.
You already understand deeply there is no right or wrong once perceived through the duality of human judgments – yet there now there is only what serves now and what no longer serves.
Discernment is just that - knowing what serves you and lifts up your soul’s ignited passion to know itself- to know the God self within - and knowing, firmly yet with compassion, what no longer serves your divine purpose - beyond distraction.
Finally, and most spectacularly, we explored the depths of sovereignty. Rather than myself or Lauren telling you what sovereignty looked like for you, we held an expanded space for you to discern what sovereignty looked like both for your human and God selves. We looked at reconciling the two at a personal level.
Some of you yes, may still be giving sovereignty, or free will, to your thoughts and emotions. Those ever critical, sometimes blaming, sometimes fearful, repeating thoughts cycling through the Universe of You, are not something to be ashamed of. They are residual of the human lifetimes past.
As the thoughts clear in protest of no longer holding free will within the Universe of You, they tend to get louder just before they realize it is a lost battle, for you have no fight or force left within you at your core SELF. Let us wave and smile as they walk out the door, knowing how much they served us at a point in our existence.
Some of you chose to dive deeply into what free will looked like for the human self and have chosen to melt seamlessly into divine will, as part of the natural evolution of SELF.
You are just now beginning to understand the ineffable magnificence of God, which resides within you. Yes, I am here to tell you, of course, there is much more when you are ready.
Others are still waiting and watching a bit unsure of giving up the free will of the human self – the free will of your thoughts, emotions, and yes, your human creations too. Knowing you do not ever have to renounce anything external, the inner renunciation takes some time, or relaxation rather, to unfold. You and you alone can only define what perceived fear is holding you back from stepping into divine will.
Lauren personally asked for me to help shine a light on these remaining attachments, in which her soul showed her (not me) exactly where the fear resided. All it took was awareness of SELF for those attachments to dissolve. I am always available to support you personally. All you need do is call me and show up as the master, as you would say.
For some of you, Lauren included, it may feel like you are abandoning your human self by flowing into the divine will of the soul. I can assure you it is not happening. Instead, you are moving from any human construct that is not in resonance with your divine will.
You fear you will lose your uniqueness in this transition and the recognition you have come to depend on at the human level, but it is not so. You are all diamonds radiating the will of God in your own light.
In this experience in my last life on Earth, I found I became more of myself, not less of – “much more muchier” as Lauren once wrote in Thirty Days of Self-Love.
I know you do not like the word service, and I understand that completely. Service once meant indentured servitude and locked you in a prison in other lifetimes. Service has dimmed your light, and those life experiences have been distilled into the soul’s wisdom.
Any pain or trauma from the concept of service has been integrated and turned back into light. When I say light, I do not mean light in opposition to the dark. I am speaking of a cellular shift – one from density into expansion, from physical to ethereal. It was only in the attachment to a dualistic view of right and wrong that the word lost its true meaning.
Instead, please allow me to honor your legacy instead – a word that stands in resonance with many of you.
- Here El Morya is sharing a deep sensation of appreciation and honor without appropriate words. -
For every thought pattern that loses its grip on you, for every emotion which no longer holds free will governing your life, you open up a passage, a creative potential, for individuals in the world consciousness to move from mental focus into soul focus into the God consciousness, should they choose it.
– Master M says he is so glad he can use the word God now without it being misconstrued - the traditionally Eastern understanding of God within SELF. -
In conclusion, I want to remind you of what you already know. In the space of divine will, God internal does indeed take care of all your worldly desires in ways your human never could - money, relationships, everything in and beyond human imagination. It is the true creator nature that unfolds in releasing the free will of the human, which requires no effort, force, or materials to create the lives you desire.
To put it into your language, we are moving from the allowing of the human and master self to cohabitate into BEING in which the true sovereignty or independence of your soul rings in the totality of freedom.
I 'cannot wait' (he exudes passion here) to explore this more with you. It is an exciting ‘time’ from the view of the Ascended Masters, and we hope you will feel that joy from within the Source of Self, too.
I am with each and every one of you – though not needed - should you extend an invitation. Perhaps we can enjoy a cup of tea together one morning as friends. I would very much like that.
If you choose, pay close attention to your dreams. Not the human ones, but those from the God within you.
Expect miracles and a gift that could never be wrapped for it is far too grand. It is not a gift from me but rather from the God within the Universe of You.
In honor of you,
P.S. Perhaps as you move into divine will and left free will behind, you will mull over the word service once again outside the duality of teacher and student concepts – just like we have the concept of light above.
For Lauren, it has taken on a whole new meaning.
El Morya once said many will ask what their soul's purpose here is on Earth and fewer will ask the purpose in the context of divine will. When he said it, the group he addressed was that of the spiritual warrior variety.
It was people unknowingly feeding their spiritual egos to create roles in which they place their human beliefs disguised as spiritual laws as some sort of doctrine before others who are in the awakening process. A confusion of ego with soul. A confusion of human free will, perceived, with divine will, realized. A spiritual teacher aspect confused with the I AM THAT I AM.
If we expand in the spiral of awareness, we can see that those old new age roles play out in the new energy space as well. Those who have been great spiritual teachers, or desired to be so, in other lifetimes are rebranding themselves with the new language, the hip conscious vocabulary. And there is nothing wrong or bad about it - it just is.
I'm so glad the seduction to play in that world was there for me, too, so that I could witness this first hand and understand it in various levels of my existence. To see, not only the spiritual teacher aspects of perceived human free will, play out but to also hold compassion for it, is quite the experience when viewed from the eyes of the divine and of the human.
I can also see that, it is a way for some - myself included in the most recent linear past - to distill what they have learned. If you teach it in the physical, it can be extremely helpful for bringing your human self along in the Triple E, embodied enlightenment experience.
The difference is the discernment in understanding you are teaching to distill for Self, rather than "helping" people.
Everyone here understands that no one needs to be helped. That everything is perfectly unfolding in divine timing. That is almost a 'sin' to interfere with the perfection that is unfolding in the petals of the blooming self-realization occurring within each of us, right now.
It's the same for the 'teachers' out there, who like us here, wake up one morning, realize they have distilled the wisdom needed from the experience, and then realize - wait, what? - that the desire to "help" went right on our the door when they became to know deeply within that everything is and always was absolutely perfect - that all is well in all of creation.
Yesterday, I wrote about not having to expend the effort on the physical creation when playing out roles. It's a lot of work to put together a NEW new energy business. Word selection. Marketing that does not look like marketing. Sexy conscious language. Appearing to have it all figured out. That's exhausting. Although I have never even attempted to look like I have "figured it out."
Soon enough, those new new new super new energy teachers will tucker out - the old energy ways will seem too laborious - hold the realization that what has been distilled is distilled. However, some will find they have attached onto that identity with such a force in so many times, that it will feel like amputation of limb to leave the identity behind, and bring all of the lifetimes of it into alignment with soul/ source and all lifetimes running in simultaneous flow.
I use it as an example because it's familiar and I can see it clearly, yet it could be any identity - for example I know a master who is hanging onto the healer identity for dear life. It could be anything, and there is no shame in it, as we have all clung to something human at some point in this experience for dear life, because letting it go is scary.
The void we experience after human free will has gone can feel dark - can feel empty. Yet, as most of know, if you breathe through the nothing-ness, the everything-ness shows up. If you resist the human seduction to go back to playing in the physical creation space to fill the void - and it won't work for very long - then you open up to the infinite gifts of the THIRD CIRCLE existence.
Going back to El Morya's comment above. Of course, we all know here our purpose, which is really passion from the depths of who we are, from our soul, to experience embodied enlightenment on Earth.
Sometimes, though less and less frequently now, it seemed like an arduous task. And when we relaxed into it, we realize there was never a task. It was simply a matter of the flower of Self blooming from within - the seed of the soul, singing the song of the soul. It was always going to bloom, regardless of the workshops, classes, readings...and on...and on....
Moving beyond. Gathering in the space beyond the noise. Some say it feels like a void. But one only needs to open up their macro-vision and see through the eyes of the divine that the Magic of Being is taking place here and everywhere masters walk the shores of embodied enlightenment.
When you gathered with me under the Banyan last night, for my birthday celebration, I could see something from the macro level, though the eyes of my own divinity, that each time you dance in joy in the space beyond the noise, each time you distill the wisdom of self-realization, each time you know you are God, also - you are without doubt, the true teachers of consciousness - no facebook post needed.
I know we have let go of the desire for recognition, but as we are bringing the human along in this experience of humanizing divinity, I want to say that I see you and honor you.
And, I am not the only one, so is every master of Self, who has walked the shores of embodied enlightenment before you.
I sense into the essence of Mahavatar Babaji. He has no books, no story, no designated channeler. Yet, he has dedicated his BEING to keeping the doors of consciousness open for anyone who chooses it - for anyone who chooses consciousness over automation for eons to come.
There may not be shrine in your honor - just yet - but what you are doing, or being rather, is nothing short of grand. And, it is pure joy to witness, and that is what this website is all about - honoring you in your embodied enlightenment experience - in the undiluted Magic of Being, which is described in the manifesto of this creation.
So with that, I welcome you to take a look at what you are creating beyond the noise, for eons to come - your legacy of your 'last' life on Earth. I ask you to see through the eyes of your own divinity what service means in the context beyond duality, gravity, and most of all beyond physical time and space.
I invite you to view the the grandness of your creation, that is simply being here - a walking, breathing master on Earth.
In honor of you!
Lauren/ Sar'h, Master Morya, and all the ascended and embodied masters of Earth
Good morning, dearest friends! I am writing to your from the Third Circle of my sovereign-est of domains - the radiant diamond of my being-ness - and putting forth the facet of the diamond that is wisdom to reflect your own mastery of knowingness back to you.
As we re-define what it means to be in our sovereign domain and how we interact - not aspect to aspect - but facet to facet, I wanted to share something that has been occurring within the depths of the I AM.
In the old New Age days, everyone was sharing symbols of the spiral - of the fibonacci sequence. That spiral has come back into my awareness recently as my human catches up with the flowing river of the souls wisdom.
When we are first introduced to a concept such as energy dynamics, or Divine Will, or the absence of linear time, we begin to understand them on different points of experience in the spiral of self-awareness, which originates and ends, in the I AM THAT I AM.
For example, we remember - or are reminded - time is not linear - it does not have a beginning and an end, yet flows like the infinity symbol, all lifetimes occurring simultaneously, and radiating out from the Center of our Being.
We can grasp that on a mental and emotional level. We can correct our language - it is not a past life, but a concurrent or simultaneous one. We can sense within our body of consciousness the other lifetimes occurring.
Perhaps we have dreams to show us. Perhaps a person from one of those lives re-appears, and we feel instantly the seduction of having that person in our lives.
Our soul begins to create experiences in this human life, in physical form to provide concrete examples of a concept, so that we may distill the wisdom of it, once again, for the human to come with us on this grand enlightenment experience.
Sometimes we get stuck in the experience for a bit - like in the karmic relationship - or once I spent a great deal of time looking into past lives and trying to align them neatly on a history-book-like timeline.
We become stuck in the crystal of our own creations, until we are freed from the illusion of the prison, through the distillation of soul wisdom - knowing deeply everything serves us as it is occurring. Then we can further expand into the spiral of awareness.
First, we understand a conscious concept in the mental and emotional bodies, then we go into experiencing concept in our physical world - to provide the human with an example - and sometimes get stuck there for a bit.
Now I am discovering a new layer - not even a layer but a different point on the spiral of awareness. Not only understanding with my head and heart a concept of mastery, but knowing it in the core of my BEING - without having to dive deep into a human, physical experience to represent the concept.
If I do have something come up in my Universe of Self - an experience that needs to be had to distill more wisdom for the human to catch up with my mastery - it can occur in seconds or minutes, rather than linear years - like perhaps a karmic relationship running its course might take.
Here's what I mean, stay with me, please...
In the last month, I've had a few opportunities arise - that were quite seductive - a temptation of sorts to get caught up in human experiences.
I like to think of them as invitations for karmic play, in which I decide if I want to participate or not. It's all part of the embodied enlightenment experience, and choosing to play in duality is a choice in experience - and without right or wrong labels. In Divine Will, it seems the choice disappears, but that is another post.
In knowing the embodied enlightenment experience occurs within and not in human life events, I have found I can let those seductive situations play out in the absence of linear time and space. In other words, I do not have to create these massive distractions by allowing them to play out in physical form.
For example, an old karmic lover inviting me to meet in the physical world. I don't have to drag myself into that physical experience but can unravel it without the use of energy or effort.
Stay with me...
Instead, I have found these type of scenarios can play out in the body of consciousness much quicker if they do not occur in linear time, if they do not occur in the physical world.
In other words, the creations of soul wisdom distilled - for me now - are much easier to create and experience - without having to manifest them in the physical.
I can create the wisdom distilling experience in the space beyond gravity, beyond linear time, and outside the focus of this human life, which allows me to have the experience I need to have in a few minutes - on a walk in nature or while taking a nap - without having the massive distraction in my physical world, which often left me energetically drained or very sick on some occasions.
When we create the experience - which supports our expansion - outside, or beyond the physical realm, it is a lot easier on the physical body and the mental and emotional bodies, for no effort or energy is required.
Additionally, in the same vein of no energy experiences, I am also finding I can observe others in their effort-laden experiences (with honor and compassion) and distill the wisdom without actually having to go through it.
For example, another master once told me their greatest fear was being homeless. Knowing whatever we fear- whatever is keeping us from the Triple E, whatever perceived limitations we have that keep us from the Magic of Being - our soul will create an experience in which we move beyond the fear.
As I said, as we expand into the spiral of awareness, I am finding that we do not have to create that wisdom-filled experience in the physical, which requires ridiculous amounts of energy. It is "energetically expensive", in other terms.
For this person who feared homelessness, I said why not let that play out in the body of consciousness - in the Universe of SELF, rather than in real life. Allow yourself to have the full experience of homelessness to move through the fear of it, without actually having to do it in physical life. It is no less real, no matter in what realm of consciousness you create the experience.
Then you can move beyond the perceived limitation, which is like a rope that ties you to the limited human and to the limited linear and mental perspectives.
In diving deeply into the fear or whatever perceived limitation, you can then cut the rope that holds you down into the density of gravity and duality and fly into your mastery - or float beneath the grand and majestic Banyan Tree, if you wish.
As I expand into the spiral of awareness, I notice I can witness certain things in others. Even in everyday life situations that would appear seemingly mundane.
For example, a friend was trying to give me a king size quilt because she said she had a queen mattress. It didn't match in her head. Only a king quilt goes on a king bed.
Then she was trying to hang pictures on either side of a window, but the nails on which they hung were not exactly even on either side of the window, so she just gave up. Placed the framed picture on the ground because it was not in her perception that pictures could hang staggered. The trap of local linear thoughts permeating every experience in her physical life in an energetically expensive way.
It made no sense that one picture would be staggered to the other - that they did not need to line up - that is was not in linear order on purpose. It made no sense that the king quilt would certainly work on a queen bed, and in fact, might look even better.
It's an extremely concrete example to demonstrate that enlightenment is not going to fit in a nice, neat box. The boxes are creations of the limited human. They are a result of the confines of linear time.
My homework for myself - and yours if you choose it - is to fathom with ocean of your consciousness, of your awareness, where the illusion of local, linear time is holding you back in your embodied enlightenment experience - sensually, that is.
If a fear or karmically seductive situation comes up, can you receive the distilled wisdom through allowing the scenario to play out within your body of consciousness rather than to create a perceived prison in your physical world that will end up being a huge distraction and massively energetically expensive.
Most importantly, the distinct difference in creating the physical experience to gain soul wisdom - to move through the human muck - and creating the wisdom-filled experience in the absence of gravity, duality and linearity is one thing - energy and effort.
In NO ENERGY CREATION, we do not need anymore to use effort/ energy to create the situations, which allow us to spiral deeply into our expanded mastery of SELF. We no longer need to create in the physical to have the master experience. Though, like this website, we can if we choose.
Instead, we can prop our feet up and allow the creation to move through the Universe of Self, while completely relaxed and without any energy expenditure at all - beyond grand. We can take a stroll beneath the glowing sun of awareness, breathing easy, knowing our creations without effort can serve us in ways our human never imagined.
My birthday wish:
With that, I will remind you that tomorrow I am celebrating me and, more so us, under the Banyan Tree. The greatest birthday gift you could give me would be to come play with me in the no energy sandbox.
Lets create with consciousness, which needs no energy and physical representation. Let's explore tomorrow life beyond linearity - beyond gravity - beyond duality - and into the infinite abyss of our awareness. Let's open up to the senses, which only lie beyond linearity, beyond gravity, and beyond duality.
Part of the reason I shared my story yesterday was to begin to move this space beyond linear time and space, which is the natural state of being in Divine Will.
As we move through post traumatic soul injuries, or PTSI, I found instead of writing about it in a mental way, I might instead create a space for us to do so - for yourself and by yourself - outside the confines of human, physical life.
The soul trauma was not created on the physical Earth but beyond it. Thus, perhaps the space to unravel the trauma is in the space in which it was created. The space beyond the noise.
Happy no energy creation, friends!
For those of you who are new, the above painting is by Eiril, who is on this page, and it captures Sar'h in many forms. The Hawaiian flowers of Lemuria. The long dark hair of her Egyptian births. The lotus. The blue eyes. I could go on... Eiril, I love it every time I look at it. For those who don't know, Eiril is highly intuitive and was given no direction from me for the paintings. She tapped into the essence of the being-ness of the subject and interacted with it in ways I have not seen.
This is from the Honors and Contributors page, which has recently been updated. Check it out to know more about how the Center of Being was formed. Here is Sar'h story - or the start of it...
I once considered Sar'h the voice of my soul - as she was with me throughout my childhood and awakening as a guide for the human Lauren, born on Thanksgiving Day in 1980 in Dallas, Texas. Yet, as I have spiraled more and more into my own mastery, I feel more like Sar'h and less like Lauren each moment. However, I do prefer the name Lauren as I am the one who picked it and whispered in my mom's ears long before she became swollen with me in her womb at age thirty-three.
In this life as Lauren, I chose my father, Robin, as he came from my soul family. In a simultaneous life, my father was a great pharaoh of Egypt and I was his daughter. We hold many lives together and he is constantly with me from his mastery on the ‘other side.’ He currently holds no human attributes but appears in angelic form. He will come back to have his embodied enlightenment experience but not for some time.
I chose my mother, Susan, for two reasons. My grandmother holds the bloodline of Yeshua and Mary Magdalene and my grandfather held the bloodline of my ancestors - a family I had been incarnating in for centuries - the most recent as my life as Enola (Alone spelled backwards).
On a family tree, Enola would be the great aunt of the Lauren incarnation. Enola lived from 1898 to 1936 in Chicago, Kentucky, Texas, and California. She was a wanderer and a pioneer when it was not socially acceptable for women to be so. Additionally, both my mother and her mother, my grandmother, gifted me with the ’Sight’ - or the ability to see without regard for linear time and space.
I chose the name Lauren for myself, and it resonates in every cell of my being-ness. Lauren comes from the latin of Laurentum, which means from the place of the laurel leaves. Indeed, that is where I have come from. It is also a French name, and modern day France is where I experienced ascension in one of my lifetimes on Earth. This lifetime of Lauren is the designated embodied enlightenment experience lifetime, and the one I focus sensually on as all the other lifetimes run simultaneously like flowing rivers who meet in the vast ocean of my sovereign consciousness - the consciousness of BEING.
However, I use to the name Sar'h now to encompass the ocean of sovereign consciousness that is my BEING, also of which I call the avatar SELF. Sar in Hebrew means prince or ruler, yet not a ruler of other people, but over SELF, also called mastery. To me, Sar’h is like a radiant diamond, with each lifetime running in simultaneous flowing rivers into the ocean of SELF representing a facet or face on the diamond.
Sar'h, like many of you reading this, held lives in Atlantis and Lemuria, and worked to establish the first religions and governments on Earth. In one lifetime, the avatar Sar'h in embodied human form gave birth to one of El Morya's physical incarnations, yet their friendship regardless of the human roles, spans lifetimes. She, for lack of a better pronoun, has incarnated as both a man and a woman and had many less than so-called desirable lives. Wanting to experience everything human life had to offer, Sar’h has played every role from victim to perpetrator, wounded to warrior, and everything in between.
Sar'h maintains her name in honor of a lifetime in which she experienced ascension during her short time on Earth, and in which she was a daughter of Yeshua and Mary Magdalene. In this life she was born underground in Alexandria, Egypt and then was transported to modern day France for her safety. She grew up in a mixed community of Essenes and Druids, and spent/ spends many lifetimes in those Druid communities. As you are aware, when Atlantis was destroyed, most of us washed up on the shores of modern-day Wales, and had our Druid experience in the mists of Avalon - El Morya and St. Germain included as King Arthur and his Merlin, respectively.
I made the decision to reincarnate as Lauren to experience embodied enlightenment at this magical time and space on Earth, live a life of joy and freedom, and to support with my BEING-ness, not by doing, others on their self-realization journeys, with deep honor and compassion. Sar’h, my avatar self, loves visiting fellow souls in the dream state or on long walks in nature - as a dear friend rather than a teacher. She enjoys communicating in images and sensations. In this capacity, I am deeply passionate about reminding the humans I loves so much the kingdom of God is within. Divinity resides inside of all of us. Sar’h cherishes the seed of consciousness planted on this Earth by Yeshua to realize we too are God with each breath she takes in human form.
Some of you have asked to do introductions again as we have some new people. If you have been here a while, if you will indulge the group, and even though I know you, I would be appreciative. It does help this feel like home and a super sovereign safe space to share when we know who we are sharing with. I really wish you could all share photos too in comments, and hopefully we will get to that...This post is tagged Introductions, so you can always find it under the Categories space to your right, which I am really trying to keep up. Look for goodies in your inbox. To get it going I posted my introductions in the comments below. Big hugs, big gratitude!
Housekeeping: I am currently going back to add the Patreon posts to the blog, so everything will be there. I am also posting the edited chapters of the 30-Days of Self-Love under that tab. This may take a while...Also, if you have not check out the Honors page. I am loving this new space and our comments. Thank you.
Some of the below story is a recap, and the new part is the in second portion.
Going back in time…In late September I was on an Balinese Island called Nusa Lembongan with my partner, who I call D. We did not do much while we were there - the beach, sunsets, playing cards, and I was writing a little.
One night in my lucid dream state, my soul said to me, “What if you had to give up one form of sovereignty for another?”
“Wait, what?” I couldn’t understand what the words meant. Then it hit me, I was trading the concept - some call an illusion - of human free will and trading it for another - divine will.
The series of events that happened afterwards were quite intense. For example, I had a deep soul notion that divine will meant for me closing down my business. Soul Session, El Morya channels for others, Patreon - basically all forms of income tied to my embodied enlightenment experience. It also included removing myself from all systems, when possible, such as Facebook, any groups other than this one, etc.
For new readers, we dove deeply into systems this summer before heading into divine will.
When I finally released it - the New Energy Creator experience - somewhere in Laos - and made the announcement that i was “retiring” and no longer playing in the channeling, soul session circus, I knew money to support me in my embodied enlightenment experience - if you are new we call this the triple E - was going to show up some how. And, 11 hours after the public announcement, a very large check was sent to me - one that would cover some years. Funding to be in the space beyond the noise - thank you, soul!
Yet, it wouldn’t have mattered. I’d be living in a forest if it had not because I simply cannot work even if it was conscious work. You can put lipstick on a pig, and it is still a pig.
Those of you who have been on this ride for some months already know this, yet we have a few new people, and I like the recap sometimes. Here's the new:
So between these events, D and I were in Hoi An, Vietnam. Here, riding bicycles is the way to get around. D was taking woodworking lessons with a master woodworker in the village nearby. The man have invited him over for a beer and dinner, so we were going to part ways near the bridge to the village from the town of Hoi An. I was going to find a place to people watch while D had his male bonding time.
Once he rode off, I started to feel very strange. I stopped my bike at a restaurant, and ordered a small appetizer. Then as I was waiting for it to arrive to my table, I had a horrific vision. I saw D floating facedown in a river. I knew somehow he had been struck on the head and then thrown into the river. My heartbeat in my chest was pounding so hard. It felt so real.
I attempted to calm myself down, to examine what I had saw. Then I could not longer resist it, and I went after him on my bike. After the dark ride, I ran into him, the woodworker, and his wife on the road outside the woodworking studio, and everything seemed to be okay. It was divine timing as they were headed to the couple’s house, which was deep in rice patties, of which I would not be able to find him. That surely would have caused a huge panic in me.
I did not tell D the story until we were riding home from the dinner.
“That’s so strange. I had a strange feeling, too. What if this was the last time we saw each other?” D said.
Back to the hotel safe and sound, I let it pass, yet I also knew it was some sort of post-traumatic stress incident. I know the feeling of that from what occurred after my father’s death. Anytime to the phone rang, I would sweat and hysterically cry, because that is how I was coldly notified by one of his neighbors of his death.
We continued to travel, and it did not come up again until we parted ways in India. I got on my separate plane home from Kolkata. On the plane ride, I saw it again - D facedown in river, beaten. Now logic actually came in handy - there is no river in the airport, and I knew D was not going to leave the airport to go into the chaos outside of it.
Yet, every cell in my body was lit up in trauma, in distress. I was crying involuntary. I was shaking. It was madness as I am usually not drawn into such dramas anymore.
Then, a more complete picture had come to mind. It was another (simultaneous) lifetime in which D was my partner and was killed by Roman soldiers and dumped into the river. I had found him there, and the trauma still exists. I'm sure you can image the trauma because you too have had the experience in so many lives.
In this lifetime, I was told it was the Will of God, and I didn’t understand the Will of God to be so cruel. It was the puzzle of lifetimes, and I understand it now, though I do not have words right now.
So as we bring up Divine Will - Soul Will - the Third Circle - whatever, I know first hand these traumas will shake themselves from our bones. And I use the word bones intentionally - as we discussed before - a lot of the rewiring of the nervous system has taken place to support the Triple E - for me, at least - and several of us talked about how the “upgrade” is now in our bones.
Right now I feel it in the space where the spine attaches to the back of the head. It’s a dull, annoying pain, in which remembering why it is there helps ease it. Hot water (the mineral hot springs were amazing) and a heating pad have worked wonders as my bones transfigure deep within, ridding the residual traumas, whatever they may be, without too many stories attached.
That's what I have for today. I am still recovering from all the travel and putting my house back together. And, I am so deep within myself it's been a bit harder to will the words. I'm sure it will loosen up soon as many of you have seen. I know I have said it too many times but I love our gatherings like the New Moon so much. It feels so supportive and beyond what we could do sitting in a room here on Old Earth. Thank you, again.
Being as there is no need to reinvent the wheel, I am going to post what Tobias said so many years ago about the trauma associated with the Wall of Fire. It's pretty much perfect. After that I will share my own experience on well beyond the wall of fire. I do not feel so attached to that concept, but I've had many other things come up in regard to trauma and the Will of God.
For those who find comfort in matching a Crimson Circle teaching to their experience (all perspectives welcome), the full text can be found for free on the Crimson Circle website. I had not read this, yet I sensed a trauma when I was traveling related to Divine Will. We were still on Patreon. Karen, being a wealth of information, found this for us. Thank you.
After this, I will be sharing my own personal stories. More than anything, I have spent time pondering sovereignty in the absence of human free will. I highly suggest it if you have not done so in full awareness.
"When Jack crossed through the Wall of Fire, as we have talked about so often, this was a very traumatic experience for him. When Jack crossed through this wall from the First Creation into the void, it changed everything, it changed everything. When Jack was in the kingdom all things were one; all things were one. There was singular purpose, there was singular direction and there was singular Will. All things emanated outwards from the center of the kingdom. This was wonderful, this was peaceful and loving and it was the way things were in the first circle, in the first Creation. They were as one, as one will. When Jack crossed over through the Wall of Fire into the void he suddenly had a new attribute and it was called Free Will.
This is somewhat difficult to describe in the human words, but we will continue work it. When Jack crossed through he now had the attributes of Free Will. It was no longer singular expansion of All That Is. He entered into a new dimensionality. Jack had always been the prince, the son of the king and queen, the one who would one day accept the throne. But now he was experiencing something totally different -- Free Will. He did not quite so much know how to handle this. For he always thought he understood his Mission, his purpose and his contract in the singular will of the Kingdom. But now, all things were available and all things possible. There was no prescribed path or pattern.
Jack’s journey is your journey. Each of you felt what it was like to go from One Will to Free Will. This has caused many interesting experiences for you. This has caused you to be a free creator in many ways and all of this has been appropriate. All of this is blessed by Spirit. For given Free Will – you and Jack and all the other angels and all of the humans – given Free Will you have been able to expand creation in ways and means that have never been done before. Do you understand the impact of this? You had singular Will – loving indeed, blessed indeed – but it was singular in the original Creation. When you came through the wall you were given Free Will.
When Jack came to Earth and took on biology, he still had Free Will, but now he also had something called the veil. The veil prevented Jack from consciously knowing what transpired from lifetime to lifetime. The veil prevented Jack from understanding his journey that had taken him from the Kingdom into the void, to help create the energy and the templates of your Universe. Combine these two powerful elements – the Veil and Free Will – and there is a very potent energy here. It is one that each of you has been living with.
You have the Free Will to do what you choose. But you have also had the veil so you could not remember so much your decisions and your experiences. Now, here you are, Shaumbra, coming to the completion of your own circle of lifetimes on Earth. You are coming to completion of your journey, coming to the final clearings that will allow you to go to new understandings. As we have said to you before, you do not return home from here. You continue going forward. You continue expanding but there will come the point when the veil is released, when you do have an understanding of your journey, you do have more of a complete understanding of who you are and why you are here.
In the meantime, here you are going through many changes in your life right now, going through many challenges. You expected this ascension process to be one way and it is another. It is not what you thought it would be! As you come full circle, dear friends, there is something interesting that happens. There is a step that you will take. There is a step that we bring to you today. From the inside, it is one that you know is coming, but it must be conveyed from the outside for confirmation. That step is quite simple. Going into the new energy to be the creator you truly are, you need to step past Free Will into your Divine Will."
Hello, friends! I wanted to check in with everyone to see if they were settling in to the new space gracefully.
Speaking of PTSI (Post-Traumatic Soul Injury), I was having a cup of coffee this morning on the porch. The wind was blowing and howling, and I was reflecting on something that quite surprised me. I found myself breathing a deep sigh of relief for being in this magical new space, AND...
I had not realized there would be some residual trauma - the trauma of noise - leaving facebook and the social media world. It had become such a normal level of stimulus in my life, I found it did not seem noisy. Then I was traveling and that stimulus was replaced by other noise - traffic, airports, endless negotiation with Indians. Then I was with my mom, which was a lovely visit much to my surprise...
Yet, it wasn't until I got home, found my peace and quiet once again, that I realized the imprints of the noise of the social media, internet world had made on my soul.
It was a bit of an initial shock when that came up in the New Moon gatherings and then it made total sense this too would be a trauma - the trauma of over stimulation - that would appear in this transfiguration - I do not want to use the words release or integrate, but rather distillation of wisdom and transfiguration of divine will, which seem more appropriate for the moment.
Going back to Divine Will Communication, I sense we always held this gift, the experience, yet it had been drown out by the noise, which in my case, caused a trauma imprint on my soul space. In filling those imprints with my own divinity, it opened me up to something much grander.
As I have said before it may seem that my human self is becoming boring (I did go to sleep sober, with no food, at 7:30 p.m.), yet I am becoming infinitely more interesting as a soul, as a master. This space is too sacred to taint with old human tricks to manipulate how I feel. Regardless, wine used to work to manage my energy, and now it does no such thing - I don't feel right, so even if I wanted to it is simply not an option. Instead, how I feel without all of that is too good to taint.
Mahavatar Babaji and El Morya, who live in the space beyond the noise, were simply there to remind us of it's glory. The animals too are noise sensitive and use no words, yet they communicate volumes and only raise their voices when it is necessary for survival or to alert their human companions of something.
I am beyond grateful for the experience and the gift of experiencing every last bit of this with you all.
Friends, what an amazing gathering that was with ourselves, first and foremost, and our friends El Morya, Babaji, and your animal friends if you brought them. Really, truly no word are needed these days, but perhaps I can capture the magic of pure consciousness experience with a few words.
I sensed some releasing of the trauma associated with divine will within myself, too. I have not thought of my father's death for quite some time. Yet, it came up in the new moon gathering, and I experienced the trauma once again. You see when my father died in a drawn out saga that lasted many months, I knew then it was God's will that he should leave the physical world, in order to support what I came here to Earth to do - to BE. It was the event that would wake me up at age 31 and remind me why I had come back to Earth in this life. It also allowed me the funds to buy my own house and BE without having to work.
Even in knowing that deeply, the trauma was still present. I had released the mental and emotional wounds some time ago. Yet, this time I felt the trauma leave the cells, leave the DNA, and even deeper realms within my body of consciousness. We will go deeper into this....
More releasing occurred, and then I stood before Babaji. He held my hand and transmuted with no words, the language of silence.
In holding his hand, I released the year of noise of the past year. The Munich Should being the most noisy. The string of houseguests that never seemed to end, Facebook, YouTube, Patreon - the constant and ever-gabbing noise found on the social media sites and at in-person gatherings, countless hours watching things on screens - phone screens, computer screens, television screens. It all left my body of consciousness.
What I was left with - the sweetest space of existence - the space beyond the noise. The space of pure consciousness.
No energy needed in the recipe of my creative existence.
It's not that any of those things are wrong or bad. They served a purpose to get me into the space where I AM THAT I AM and nothing more.
I had a lovely talk yesterday with one of you about boundaries. Seems even when I thought I had them I really had none. And now when I am stating them clearly, people still seem to be stretching them. Yet, they don't even know they are stretching them because they do not yet see the noise in their lives and how it affects their consciousness and everyone around them.
Once you see it, you cannot unsee it. The noise becomes louder and louder until you say no more and walk away from the energy feeding frenzy. And, until you see it with the eyes of the divine and the eyes of the human combined, you will continue to play in the over-stimulated worlds (that you do not even know are over-stimulated at the time) around us until it is no longer palpable. No longer tolerable.
Soon enough, for most of us, the space beyond the noise will not be a place that we visit, but the entirety of our existence. If we leave that sweet spot just for a bit - to have the experience of the noise - it will be consciously. Perhaps we will have "field trips" away from the branches of the Banyan Tree, rather than to it. :P
As the year comes to a close, as my birthday approaches, I am looking to the new era of no energy, of stepping away from the mass consumption of energy (food, screens, mindless and meaningless chatter, oh my goodness the chatter - and what a good chatter I once was).
In this no energy era, I am declaring my home a safe space. A no go for traveling visitors looking to integrate in its walls and rooms. There's a hotel down the street. A no go for people who need a helping hand. In fact, in the same vein of no longer holding sessions, I am no longer lending my hand to anyone in need. Gosh, I have done this for lifetimes.
When someone asks me for something from a space of needing something external, my answer will be:
All the answers are within. The bars on the cage you think are holding you back are an illusion.
And then I will excuse myself.
My table is only open for those who want to gather, perhaps have a cup of tea, and reflect our mastery back to one another, as we have done under the Banyan Tree.
Stepping into the Third Circle, into the space of Divine Will, is a beautifully sacred experience. To honor it with the respect it deserves will mean that we will no longer be living within the noise. I, for one, will fiercely guard my space (not with force, but with intolerant consciousness) to allow myself to have unfiltered the most glorious experience available in this human life - the embodied enlightenment experience.
In one of the last Keahak's Adamus said in his last life he got so tired of being invited over for dinner because he didn't wan to watch people eat. I laughed because I am there.
For my birthday week, I will spend my days in silence, happily, witnessing the shift of lifetimes. I will see anyone who wants to join at my birthday tea and cake gathering under the Banyan.
As always, I have so much more to say about PTSI and Divine Will, it is forming but I will not rush it in respect for the beauty and magnificence of the experience.
I will add that I rarely talk with Yeshua and Mary of Magdala despite my lifetime with them. Yet, they were present as I held Babaji's hand Saturday night. They too did not say anything but honored this experience for what it was - nothing short of GRAND. And I did sense a sovereign connection to you all. Thank you.
I would love to hear your experiences from the New Moon, in the Third Circle or anything else. Please post below.
Cool breezes wooed the warm lake waters,
Half-hidden in a snow-white mist
That did not resist
Invasion of two leaflike canoe vessels --
Gliding like peaceful swans
At farewell hour of the sun.
In mind's swift-passing fantasy,
Like mystic barks they seemed,
Laden with silhouetted singing angels
Sailing across the sky.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
Excerpt from the poem, "Paupack's Peak"
From the book, Songs of the Soul
This evening at dusk I walked the gravel path of a lake that sits just before Long's Peak, a spectacular event courtesy of the Rocky Mountains. I watched the last glimmer of the sun's rays fall behind the jagged mountain peaks and stood awe struck by the glittering stars who were allowed to shine as the moon bowed out of sight.
There is still magic to be experienced in this world as we begin to see through the eyes of our own divinity, I was reminded tonight. And, I breathed a sigh of sensual relief to be meeting you all in the space beyond the noise - at last. I will see you in the dream world too, friends. Beneath the golden rays of the divine Banyan Tree we will float and speak the language of silence. I am delighted. And honored.