I want to introduce a concept in here. Choosing what you want to experience, AND allowing it to come into being.
It seems soon/ at some point in the iterations of expansion of Self, we will be able to choose various state of being and move into them without a pause or break in experience. Yet, if you nor I are not "there yet," there's another way, for now.
For example, back in August I felt, for me, a heavy burden holding a year-long lease on an apartment and having to hire a dog sitter in advance of being able to travel freely.
Without going into the details, I stated that I would like to choose freer way of living without being tied to a home, without being tied to a dog sitter.
Then the fears came in - not having a steady place to live, fearful for my dog's safety and security. Panic ensued to a small degree.
Then PAUSE, allowing it all to come forth. Fast-forward, or throw the car into reverse, rather, I am sitting here at 2:30 a.m. free to move about the world and my mom volunteering to take my dog at any time, and enjoying a cohesive relationship with her right now.
Yet in the last six weeks or so of choosing this experience, I had to allow karmic ties to unfold and re-wire, especially surrounding my mom (that was not pretty from the outside - holy crap).
I had to allow fears of being without a home base to surface and dissolve within me - acting all this out physically when I could have allowed it without the heavy lifting.
I allowed more of myself to come in, which is the scariest part of all. The scariness of the perception of alone. The more I let Self in, the more lonely it can feel...which ended up not being my truth, yet was so palpable at the time.
But often in this allowing and the "scary" stuff that comes in, we say, "oh no, I messed it up," when really everything is coming together to support that beautiful CHOICE you or I made if we just get out of the way!
So often we hit the panic button and try to go back to the old choice that feels so much safer to the limited piece of ourselves - when if we just took a deep breath, allowed all the junk to rise to the surface it would clean itself out to present the choice wrapped in a surprising package for the CHOOSER (you/ me) to claim as a gift from SELF.
Additionally, a lot of us, me included, only take the deep breath or sigh or relief when we reach that sweet spot called being in here.
We "power through" allowing the CHOICE to come to be, and allowing these old stories or fears to come to a sort of resolution or peace can be quite daunting. We put on our headphones and say wake me up when it's all over.
But what if we chose an experience, and enjoyed the ride of allowing to come into being-ness? What if we allowed this to be the experience of the creator in its creation, allowing the perceived chaos to form into the next iteration of expansion, the next iteration of the expanded self?
Instead of saying, I'll be really fine when all this is taken care of and I come into this new state of awareness or being-ness - what if we were just okay in the ride of allowing that is the vehicle for this chosen state of being?
Bigger picture I sense into the Banyan Tree - the place to be You - a space of being, defined as perpetual becoming. A place of peace with what is. A creation of being within self beyond the noise - not without noise but simply moved beyond it in consciousness.
A place without fear of the unknown or linear future or decisions based on past experiences. A place where we don't question our motives or more so ourselves and states of consciousness. A place to be in the expanded iteration of SELF.
What if we enjoyed understanding in full awareness HOW we came to be, not just when we came to be, or what we came to be?
What if we focused on how we created for ourselves and not just on the linear outcome?
Perhaps you and I already are, and simply appreciating it is all that would add that extra icing on top of the cake.
Another experience I chose for myself, was not needing any energy outside of myself. I wanted to fill myself up from my own cup, not others.
Then - this is too funny - I began to get upset so to speak about what others thought about me... when really I was creating this perfect space to only 'go on', or to only create from what I felt about myself. The only food I ate would be my on energy, produced from my own consciousness. I made that choice moving forward in expansion.
For example, traveling in Bled, one person told me about four times in one conversation how tired I looked (I'm not mad at that person on here, it's just a good example).
I was tired but aren't we all some times. There was a deeper obserservation going on from that person about my state of being - which can only be defined by ME, and without needing to explain myself to anyone else! So I let it go.
Did I really need to tell her why I was tired? Nope! I could see she was thinking "realized beings don't look tired." Anyhow...
Another told me I had changed - from my days of being a full-time Shaumbra (someone heavily tied to an organization called Crimson Circle) and then scoffed at me with disgust and added a few more remarks on my state of being.
All I could think of was that I had become more ME, yet I did not need to defend myself.
I smiled and said thank you to myself - a perfect opportunity to realize I am indeed running off my own brand of gasoline fuel!
Even on this page, I have people telling me energetically, what I write has become watered down, that I am not this enough or I am too much that.
I've had people question my decisions - I don't owe you an explanation, you don't owe me one - you being here or not is enough for me. You being You is plenty.
All of this is a little rough around the periphery of my edges of Self, but nothing that would move me from my CHOICE here to be my own fountain of energy, produced from my own consciousness - nothing that would permeate the creation I have chosen for ME.
And yet, there is so much beauty here in the allowing my CHOICE to only fill myself up with more of myself and no one else's praise, or allowing criticism to drain me.
That is a defining characteristic of the Third Circle - you drink-eth from your own cup-eth!
It is such a nice creation I made...If I were out there on stage, drinking from the praise cup, well, I wouldn't be in here (points to heart) filling myself up - for the first time in Eons - only from my own well of consciousness.
Side note: If someone chooses to drink from an external energy cup, I can totally understand that experience choice. It's just not mine. More on this later...You can do both...AND.
So in the end, I ask the question, why not after choosing an experience (a creation) cannot we not enjoy the bumps and even sometimes bruises that come with stepping from one state of chosen being to the next?
If I step back, I can see so much beauty in the human perceived chaos, and I would not want to miss a minute of it.
Credit where due: I pulled some of this from a Keahak channel of St. Germain. Thank you for bringing into my awareness what was already occurring in the Universe of You (Me).
In honor of you (and me) AND all is well in all of YOUR (and mine) creations.
I've been pondering a lot lately my personal and unique NEWNESS (and yours). I have been pondering -- pondering for me is exploring the energetic makeup and sensations associated with a sense of focus in a current state of being that knows no past, not future yet one expanded Infinite NOW -- I have been pondering how I have stepped into a new way of BEING me and what it means for each of us sovereignly and uniquely as we reverse into the realized state of BEING.
What once worked - categorization, for example - no longer is a coping mechanism for the vastness of being embodied in human form. Categorization - what do you mean by that? Well, once upon a time, it was so easy to place the voices inside of myself into categories - human and divine, for example. By divine, some use there term soul voice or the ever-so-popular term - master voice.
But how do we operate in the world when the two distinct voices human and divine become ONE - a symphony of the songs of our soul that is both human and divine as one - with no clear or present separation. For that is the definition of NEW ENERGY, allowing the integration of duality, including our divine nature and our human nature. You can no longer create a divide between human and soul, human and master, as they all merge into one.
However, that ONE is not (at least not for me) a singular voice that has the quality of a human-constructed singular voice. Instead, it is a symphony of all parts and pieces of Self that create a cohesive song, a playlist even. With the sense of focus, you can zero in on the violin perhaps, or maybe the flute solo. Yet, any human concept of clarity - it seems to me, personally - must be thrown out for a new sense of clarity - one of simultaneous multiplicity in a singular Self.
Let me try it again -- Simultaneous realities and expressions occur in an expanded NOW moment and all radiate from Self. In other words, the Experience of Self is expansional in all directions at the same time. New Energy.
And that's a whole lot of NEW to take in!
In the baby steps I've taken into the NEW, I have noticed (observation in the sense awareness) that this state of being has no center -- for example, my soul is no longer the core; the I AM is no longer in a firm place. All of these parts and pieces do NOT have a central sun to orbit around in an organized manner. Damn.
In this state, I have found a new way to "ground". Once I placed my bare feet into the grass to ground myself - to relocate my center. Once I asked myself questions and discerned the soul voice from the human one - to relocate my center of Self.
But what is left to do when there is no center and no categories and no separation between human and divine or any other parts and pieces of Self?
Now, I find I look to the cosmos. I watch the stars pop into the night sky and form constellations. I admire the Milky Way from the desert landscapes around me.
I watch, I observe something with no perception of order - the universes above me. I watch them exist without the need for definition, for plans, without any need for order. They simply exist in their own magnificence.
Master Morya once described to me that I was in the moment knowing the Universe(s) of Self, of the Universe(s) of Me, flow into my awareness. I am just now starting to fathom what that really means.
And, what better way to let go of the old definitions of clarity, order, the present moment, and singularity than looking up to the universes above, for they are the universes within when you see through the lens of no separation.
Through that expansion, I find there is nothing left to do, only to be. And have some fun too. Why not?
Damian, Ollie and I are on a great cosmic tour of the American Southwest. The picture is from the Rio Grande Gorge hike we did yesterday. We also soaked in the Ojo Caliente (hot eye) hot springs. The day before we went to the International UFO Museum and Research Center in Roswell, New Mexico. I posted all those silly photos on social media.
It has come to my attention that not everyone knows that I backed out of buying the Oregon house - it had some problems and it stopped being easy. If you read my first book, which is now up on the website for free (see tab above), when something is not easy for me, I back away. When it is, I dive in head first.
I got the feeling I was pushing a boulder up the hill (after it all flowing very easily and nicely along for the first few weeks) and that's not creation - for me.
Mainly I just got a "not yet" on buying a house - not only for myself but as a gathering space for embodied beings - my longtime physical and not so physical dream. In the end, the house was not big enough (we are growing) and it was so remote AND I'm not ready to settle down just yet. Not that it matters, but has nothing to do with funding - that's all there.
The idea of even signing a year-long apartment lease is enough to make my stomach churn. I've got my stuff in a storage unit, and Damian and I are enjoying going from one AirBnB rental to the next. We will land in California for a few weeks to see friends, surf, and pick up my other car, and head back to Texas. I'm going to spend Christmas alone somewhere and work on my finishing my second book.
The Banyan Tree Book - OUT SOON.
Speaking of books, the amazing and talented Joanna Lynn has finished putting together the Banyan Tree book - your contributions - written and painted or drawn - just blow my mind, or soul, rather. I really feel like the publication captured solidly what the Banyan Tree is and how we are creating or pollinating it. Thank you.
It is not a requirement to visit or be interested in the Banyan Tree, but if you are even the slightest bit curious - please check out the book!
I still would like to gather for our planned Creation Conference. While I loved our wild journey to Italy and our casual gathering in Vancouver, I'd love to do something that combines all that. Dinner and wine time, relaxing and chatting time, and a time for everyone who wants to share the ability to present and discuss what creation embodied looks like for them - beyond a teacher/ student role - with a quiet and sober audience.
“The tree of FREEDOM, the imprint of what comes ‘after’ the student role. I thought that role would be teacher, but that was just another duality. What comes ‘after’ is creation. Perhaps that is the ultimate gift of freedom the tree lends us - the creation experience.” - I apparently wrote this and forgot and it's in the new book.
That being said, many are in the Pacific Northwest up to Canada - that area could be one meeting place accessible to many. Also, I thought of renting a larger house in the Colorado Rockies this summer after the Keahak finale, for us to gather. My friend Alice offered to do the cooking and lives in Colorado and Momo often is in Boulder during this time so perhaps she might be willing to lead us in some movement/ dance in creation. Finally, for you European folks we talked about relaxing in Greece.
That's just a little taste of what is to come.
The Ever-Unfolding Present Moment - Infinite, Singular Multiplicity Present.
Everyday is so NEW for me. The past - as Joanna has ever so patiently reminded me time and again - no longer exists. With these parts and pieces of the linear past and previous experience embodied and integrated, I find I am walking like a baby taking its first steps into the New Energy that is embodied living.
I don't know where I will be or how it will feel or what lies around the linear future. For that reason, it is hard to respond to everything on Ryver or on the website, but I do read it all.
I am going to give myself a year of wondering before I even start looking at spaces again. And, I'll just tell you all after I buy it:)
The Growth of this Space and the Tree.
We seem to be having a growth spurt. I have been pondering a cap for the space at about 100 - right now it is 66 people. One of the things that struck me in conversations on our European trip is people kept saying how much they liked the "Masters Hub" - which was an online forum that started small and then became thousands - before it blew up too big.
You used to know who was reading your posts and shares and then it became so large you had no idea. And it became a place to share more watered down versions of what was actually occurring in your embodiment. Not a judgment - just repeating what many told me on our trip.
So this is a promise we will also ways be small. That we will never have hierarchy or censorship. And you will be able to share with like-conscious people who won't act our their unintegrated roles on you.
This space started in February/ March 2017, it has grown and evolved because of you. Este created Ryver and suggested an Italy meeting. Joanna has a wealth of ideas to share. Karen and Maureen created our Vancouver gathering.
We can breathe with Guillem each Friday morning, if we choose. Xanthe invites us into her stream of consciousness. Michael tones. Raphaelle sings her soul:)
Gabor takes us on a multi-reality journey in his writing. Momo dances beneath the canopy of the Banyan and shares her dance in words too.
Nataly and Sylvia and Eiril (new art soon) paint. The list goes on...
Each of you has brought and continues to bring a consciousness that has made this space what it is today.
If there is something missing - for example, a book or list of members with photos and bios - that you would like to see, I encourage you to go on and create it. We are all the "boss" here.
If you would like an event in your area, let me know - like Karen did in Vancouver - help plan it and I'll book a ticket there and help out.
The Center of Being/ Third Circle is your space just as much as it is mine.
Welcome, new friends and "old" cherished ones.
Long before I found the Crimson Circle, I was traveling the planet alone, picking up parts and pieces of myself that I had left in other 'lifetime' experiences. In Peru, I found I needed to go to Mount Sinai, from there to the high desert of the American Southwest, and the list goes on.
In 2014, I found myself trudging up the rugged terrain of Mount Sinai - the place was empty under a terrorist threat and a suicide bomber had blown himself up that morning. After getting off my camel and moving forward on foot, tired and feeling very much confused and so far away from my home, I asked, "Morya, what am I doing here?!"
I looked down and on the ground was a puzzle piece. I picked it up and felt the sensation inside myself say, "you are picking up parts and pieces of yourself from every lifetime on Earth. This is just one piece of the puzzle."
Once those pieces were collected, I began to bring the parts from the cosmos, from the parts and pieces never on Earth before - the embodied enlightenment experience.
Hey, remember when enlightenment became a heavily loaded word that had to be discarded. Doesn't realization feel that way now in its heavily rotated use?...
During the SAM channel in Bled, instead of using aspects and facets from the Aspectology materials, he used these words - parts and pieces of Self. I smiled with delight, remembering back in the days before CC, where I only had my own natural experiences that were not filtered through any language or definition, only my own independent senses.
In some ways, I felt so lost at the time. I could not see sometimes the beauty of my own natural evolution of Self, unfiltered. All is appropriate and all serves but what a cool thing that I did not realize at the time. How grateful I am to have NOT found CC until I had the time to experience it all raw.
I've written a lot about aspects and facets and will. But until recently, I had not really experiences what happens after the aspect integrates, or after the parts and pieces are picked up. In other words, how does a facet work and how do I play with it?
Sar'h is indeed a facet of myself in this last lifetime. Much like Joachim describes Althar the Dragon. He has a bit more experience than me, tapping into it and the returning to Self.
On my car ride from Oregon to Texas, my "Infinite I" - for new folks that is what I call my soul, human, I AM and all parts and pieces combined as ONE - began to show me how to navigate or allow the shift of the facet to come forth in expression and then return to the source of me - the God also.
The waves rises up in the ocean, expresses it self and then returns to the source of the Infinite I. The wave as the facet. I have no words really. It was an energetic sensation, a stream of consciousness that flows through the edge-less center-less being that I AM.
Some how and without words, I feel how this is so related or intertwined with the "God, also" state of consciousness. I wished I had more words but for now the sensation -------------------- here.
You are not in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop. - Rumi
I have also been pondering the uniqueness of each of us. For example, some people having clear and defined days where realization "occurred." I simply do not have it though I have a general time period where I felt a significant shift.
I wrote this in my notes...
Before I was moving in a linear timeline toward a goal of enlightenment. When the knowing of the I AM God, also occurred sensationally (last October), I expanded in all directions and then reversed into a new state of being-ness.
From this single point of existence, energy began to serve me, delivering all parts and pieces of myself, to fully embody in physical and non-physical form all that I am.
Sometimes I move in reserve, I back into an experience and/or expression of Self, and yet I find I am never moving forward, only sinking into more of myself with each moment, breath or stream of awareness.
(Gosh, does that make any sense???)
Enough for today. Thank you, and welcome new friends, Marco and Hubert.
What are you all experiencing and expressing?
So much of what I have been seeking in finding a home in a retreat-like setting has been such a deep craving for simplicity and simultaneously allowing the definition of who I am to expand beyond an edge or boundary.
No such house exists for it is only the house inside myself.
Instead of getting lost in the complexity, I found I can find the simplicity in the perspective of grand - without cutting of parts and pieces of myself.
Instead of say being present in some limited now, I can be with all of me in the simultaneous multiplicity without needing to identify the core, for it no longer exists.
The I AM, the I Exist has spread throughout the entirety of the Infinite I. There is no human or divine. Embodied it is all both - and.
This is more where my writing will go in the next months. I feel many of you also seeking simple and sovereign and beauty in the basics and plan to spend a year or so in this space - a move away from urgent and overwhelming.
More simplicity can be found on banyantreecollective.com.
EMBODYING PARTS NEVER BEFORE ON EARTH.
Seeing clearly I brought in a piece of myself never before in physical human form. The angelic being and all her experience on councils and creations which had impact on Earth, yet never roots.
The Banyan Tree will defy the points of separation in the coming linear years - a place that defies the angelic council and human organization counterpart and move as one entity (sovereign in itself beyond 'members')
With angelic Sar'h faceted and embodied here and now - no past, no future - I found I was able to enjoy the organizational gathering in Bled.
I could see the power games without needing to correct them or a desire to point them out. Those with eyes saw them for themselves. With Sar'h fully here in faceted form, I could see so clearly people feeling out their own discernments for themselves. For me, the freedom is in the observation - the awareness - without even needing to discern - though I did move my butt out of the auditorium a time or two.
Even more so, I could deeply appreciate the beauty in the offerings, specifically the channel from SAM (Tobias) and a DreamWalk to bring the Atlantean being into the present point of awareness (very confirming for what I have written and you all have shared here since January).
THE BANYAN TREE: DISSIPATING THE URGENCY
Speaking with many of you on this trip, I know many feel the urgency of the Banyan Tree creation. Gabor, for example, told me how he remembers standing in the Himalayas (as I have written before) in another time and space when we all agreed to create it in the future now.
Some do not have that strong of feelings about the tree but simply want to play. I love this so much!
This is the most beautiful balance of the 'sovereign collective' of beings here on this space because it dissipates the urgency sensation - which should no longer be mistaken - as I have done - for a linear urgency. Instead, we might choose to see it as a soul passion without linear time boundaries.
What this time calls for now - as I sense it - is a simple and gentle relaxation into embodying SELF fully.
For no patterns, or pieces of separation, and especially wounds or any kind of lack will make it into that creation - without it boomeranging right back into your head (oh, I almost did this to my physical human self before I took a giant inhale into myself).
And that's the beauty - there is no hurry. It will all unfold in an urgency that exists beyond the construct of time. Perhaps, called passion, or will.
PARTNERSHIPS: INDEPENDENT BEINGS COMING TOGETHER IN HONOR OF EACH OTHER'S UNIQUENESS
I don't write about my relationship much nor will I ever. It's too sacred and personal - even for me. Yet, Damian and I realized on this trip that some people we ran into assumed we held the same perspectives and experiences. That could not be further from reality.
Damian is a beyond unique, sovereign, beautiful being with his own experiences and expressions that do not mirror mine - he simply doesn't feel a passion for writing them as I do. Many of you were lucky enough to see his latest sculpture in Italy (pictured below), and I love that he was able to share that with you all.
SONGS FROM THE SOUL
As much as I enjoyed talking with everyone on our trip, more so - as Amy J pointed out - I loved looking you all in the eyes in total honor and deep respect for unique you.
I loved singing the song of my soul without music or lyrics and hearing yours sing in a sovereign unison. So much more of this, please!
Finally, we will gather again. But obviously not in Oregon - but once in North America and again in Europe (Greece is the overwhelming choice here).
In honor of you and the simple elegance of embodied being-ness -
Lauren with Sar'h completely faceted (more on moving into this later) from Poland. Happily exhausted:)