Good morning, America. Good afternoon, Europe. Or good evening if you are on the other side of the world, Kiara, Sue, Donna and Cathy (Sorry if I missed you others).
It's pretty fucking amazing to connect into all your being-ness across the globe. We are re-wiring the history of this Earth, whether anyone sees or knows this is their own business. No YouTube video or Facebook post needed. It can only be sensed and known by those you also see and know.I want to welcome, Sylvia, our newest "member" of a group without membership.
Please take a look back. We started with the 30-Days of Self-Love, dove into systems, judgement vs. discernment and somehow ended up in moving from free will to divine will. Your patronage also means you will get a copy of my next book - whatever book comes out, whenever it comes out.
Also, we have a facebook group, and Karen LeGrande (add her as a friend) can add you if you wish. I am off Facebook indefinitely. Thanks, Karen. I appreciate you and all that you add with your presence and words. It is helpful for everyone, including me.
OK - here is me pouring out everything I know - right now- subject to the changing tides of consciousness - without editing it. I don't have the time for that. I'm too busy BEING, staring at the sky from my New Mexico porch.
Never did I think I would be saying this. The divine will experience has become so sacred and so personal to me, I hesitate writing about it, and I have never hesitated to share anything personal about myself EVER.
Per soul and source request, I have to write in symbols and myths to even convey it, which I am doing so here, in an expanded way: http://www.beingenlightenment.com/writing/the-sacred-art-of-surrender-divine-will.
In this link you will find an extended and expanded story. I add to it each day. Feel free to explore the website, which is updated daily, as I build its foundation.
Yet, here's my attempt at some hard facts and stories about what is occurring. My mother is off the site, so I can also speak more freely. Ha!
BODY: My whole life I have felt the effects of a nervous system upgrade. Even as a small child the bottoms of my feet constantly throbbed as my nervous system was completely being re-wired. At almost 37, I feel that is now complete.
Now, I feel my bones re-structuring themselves. The only thing I have to compare it to is braces on the teeth. You cannot reset bones without surgery, so I feel deep in my bones a complete shift happening at the speed of braces correcting a smile, for lack of any other comparison.
I felt something digging into my collar bone, which I describe on the new website, the other day, and the soaking in the healing mineral springs of Ojo Cliente, New Mexico sure helped.
On a radio show, Adamus once described shitting and pissing himself in a forest when he was stepping into his third circle, as Tobias called it. I will neither conform or deny that I have done this recently...I shrug knowing what is going on, clean up, and move on without emotion. I am so glad St. Germain shared this nasty-to-the-human fact. He said he thought he was dying, and we are.
I want to take one for the team and reinforce the normality of this occurrence in the shift you are going through. It will happen, and you are completely okay. No you did not east something bad. No you are not gluten intolerant. Stop it, mind.
At least we live in the time of toilet paper and running water - other masters did not have that. You will shit yourself, and you will like it because you will know what is happening. You are transfiguring into a master.
All the human will is literal being purged from my body.
Yesterday when I woke up, my eyes had changed (attached photo). The whites of my eyes are super white like they have never been. My eyes have turned from a sandy brown blue to a brighter blue. It is quite strange to see. I am told this is what happens when you see through the eyes of the divine and the human (talked about on the link above), and it is why many ascended masters appear to have bright blue or other pooping eye colors.
I am now feeling the fat cells which contain old free will matter dis-integrating. I have lost weight despite continuing to eat plenty albeit, very vegan-ly as I'll admit meat has become just as unfitting as alcohol (and y'all know I used to love steak and wine).
Neither is disgusting. I simply look at it and the energy of the meat and the alcohol does not comply with the energy of my body. I have not tried but suspect it would be like the effects of food poisoning. My stomach has had enough to deal with in DIS-INTEGRATION, thank you very much. No wonder Adamus is always talking about oats and honey. I am eating oats and honey too because that is what works.
Tea is also creating an elixir which works better than wine. A little high from the potent tea leaves gives my human that buzz it used to seek from the booze. Furthermore, drinking wine and beer was a great way to regulate my energy. It worked super well. Now the tea is doing that instead as I am too sensitive for the potency of alcohol. I like super green and Oolong teas. A little chai mixture in my morning coffee, too.
Also, a tiny, tiny dose of medical marijuana has also been helpful for carrying me through the shift. I'm talking 1/10th the normal does. 1/10th of a 5 mg chew. So 0.5 milligrams is the perfect amount for me when things get real intense - about once or twice a week now. This is only for me and not a recommendation to anyone else.
* I am not a doctor. I do not give medical advise. Please note I do not promote illegal activity. It is legal where I live.*
During this time I have been told by source and soul to open your eyes to DIS-INTEGRATION.
For the past years, especially those in CC schools, we have talked incessantly about integration. This is the time for dis-integration, I am told.
WHAT HAS BEEN INTEGRATED, NOW TRANSFIGURES IN THE DIS-INTEGRATION PROCESS. In other words, internal integrated SHIT now turns to GOLD. Be patient with yourself. Relaxing speeds up the "process."
What that means to you - is always up to you. It applies to other things besides body as well. Here we go...
HUMAN THOUGHTS/ EMOTIONS/ CREATIONS:
Having a very open crown chakra as of late (yeah I said it chakra. Chakra. Chakra. Chakra. Who cares if it's a banned word from the CC word police. ), I keep seeing various potential and possibilities in my third eye (did it again:P).
These potential and possibilities appear in super seductive visions of the future self- and they felt so freaking real - until I REALized - big wow realization- what was taking place...
I spoke of the seduction of human plans and creations in a previous post; in case you missed it here's a recap.
This is important --- The visions of future human potentials and possibilities become super seductive and sophisticated when you begin the shift into Divine Will.
You can recognize its occurrence because they pull you out of the infinite NOW and show you the linear future. You can use your fine-tuned discernment here, if you wish.
In other words, Human Free Will will do anything to survive, to grasp onto its control of your creations. And because your human will has existed for eons, it will be super sophisticated in its seduction.
Free Will will tell you that you are here to be a famous spiritual teacher. It will tell you that you will become rich, look like a model, and married to the rockstar of your dreams - or whatever your greatest human desires have been - IF you just stay in the space of free will.
The visions will be so wonderful, you will want to say YES. And it is totally okay if you do. Once you veer down the path, you will know what has taken place as it will not be in the flow of your soul's wisdom. In that, there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of AND there are no mistakes.
Please note: I have sensed all of these seductive visions as happening "out there" - in my body of consciousness but not within the I AM presence. It happens in the "spiritual head space" so you think it's not human AND it totally is.
***There is the sophistication. It will talk to you like it's your soul voice, and it is really the human free will talking.
Discernment. Discernment. Discernment. Discernment. Discernment. Discernment.
And, the flowing river of your soul's wisdom will speak in the softest whisper so low you can barely hear it. You will feel it in your bones. You will feel it in the space between the cells. You will feel it in the bottoms of your feet, and more than anywhere in your heart space, where your YouMan (human) and Soul meet. It will not seduce you with grand visions. It will not promise you gold, a barbie body, and a rich husband, thousand of YouTube followders, whatever.
It will only say: I AM THAT I AM.
Indeed, for me, what took place was that everything I created - everything I created with human will wishes and intents - was unraveling.
As you step into divine will, all human creations MUST go no matter how conscious they may seem.
Creations you made in the physical AND creations you made with a mere wish. All of them will unravel.
Just like aspect integration, which you all know well, there is no need to analyze each story line dis-integrating.
You only need to allow the dis-integration and consider if you want to grasp onto a "story creation" or let the big, fat story go. The bigger, the fatter the story, the harder it is to simply open your hand and release the string tied to that particular helium balloon of a story (one filled with hot air) and allow it to fly away into the void of the divine will darkness.
It's not the kind of thing where you can pick and choose. You cannot say I am in Divine Will and I am going to bring this human relationship with me. You cannot say I am in Divine Will and I am going to bring my coaching business with me.
All identities are shed. Everything must go. Everything that was created with energy. Everything created from free will is going to be replaced with no energy creation and from the space of divine will. Every. Last. Thing.
As Tobias said, you will want BOTH, but you cannot have both. I do believe it will vary what that looks like from person to person.
But I know for sure:
ALL HUMAN FREE WILL CREATIONS WILL HAVE TO GO as you step into the third circle.
The absolutely glorious thing is once you sense what is on the other side, you *will not want* to participate in those human creations anymore.
For example, I used to be involved with a man I call Jack. In my mind, I built a life with Jack and his daughter (my own daughter from another life). I felt the seduction of this creation pulling me back in several days ago and of course, Jack called me in real life to see me, along with his daughter.
If this happened eight months ago, I would have hopped in the car with all my belongings and moved into Jack's house happy as a clam. It was my greatest human desire to be with the two of them again in this life.
But, much to my surprise, I found I no longer desired my human's greatest wish. What was really happening is I was watching a movie reel, a picture show of all the human free will creations unravel as I stepped into divine will.
It was the same with being a teacher of consciousness. Of having my youtube channel and a massive client list. The more and more that business grew, the more my soul found discord in its resonance.
It was my second greatest human desire to "help" people reach enlightenment. And that too DIS-INTEGRATED, as I moved into the Divine Will experience.
I will say it again - Everything you create through human free will - no matter how much consciousness goes into your creation - will have to disintegrate before you are fully in your third circle space (If someone has a better term, please comment below). Third circle sounds a bit outdated for me, but so you know what I am talking about...
PTSD: Jean-Pierre is onto something. The PTSD is in the bone marrow. This is likely not your first time in ascension - yet maybe it is your first time embodying enlightenment.
You experienced that "Biblical life" in which you went through the sacred art of surrender into the divine will. You watched Yeshua hung on the cross. You watched Romans kill your family. You lost children and you knew it was the will of God. You screamed to the heavens "why?!" Perhaps like Tobias, you were in prison rotting when your ascension occurred. It's no wonder PTSD is residing in the depths of your bone marrow.
I can assure you Divine Will has changed in this last lifetime. Joy and love and grace and ease are yours to re-claim in this last human life.
D, my partner, showed up just at the right time as I stood on the threshold of divine will enlightenment. A second earlier, and he would have been cast aside for human free will life creations. I hope to talk about that more and more in coming posts. There are relationships on the side of divine will. Something which has only been recently revealed to me by soul and Source.
Indeed, I can tell you with certainty, this divine will will be similar but different in how it appears in your human life. The Atlantean dream will be realized and it includes all the love and all the riches you ever desired - if only you dis-integrate and transfigure with ignited soul passion your free will as the limited human.
And, it will happen so naturally, you will look back at laugh at new energy creation for it is the no energy creation you sought all along.
In honor of you,
Lauren and El Morya who sits here by my side, silently sipping his Oolong tea. He extends and invitation to visit you as well. Perhaps you might meet him under the golden rays of the majestic banyan tree.
Don't talk about night anymore! -
In our day there is no night.
In our religion of Love
There is no religion or love.
Love is the endless ocean of God
Yet a thousand souls, drowning in that ocean, cry out -
"There is no God!"
-Rumi, In the Arms of the Beloved
Any human who travels to far lands returns home forever changed. It’s no different for the conscious being. Yet, the magnitude of the earthquake of change upon arrive ‘home’ – with one thud of a heavy passport stamp – the world becomes different in ways previously unimaginable for the mere human traveler.
To know this yourself, you need not step on a plane or drive across borders – you need only expand your mastery in perspective and perceptions to seeing, sensing, and knowing deeply that everything – every little last thing in this life and all others – is and was an illusion.
“Who are you beyond these illusions?” Master M and Sar’h asked Lauren, the human who is finally catching up to her own mastery, as we flew sixteen hours across the world from New Delhi to New York.
It wasn’t just a question for me but for everyone who joined in the New Moon gathering of embodied and ascended masters.
I was able to see so clearly the roles I had played on the Earth’s stages. I was able to see how I was the writer and producer of my life. Knowing that used to be a big realization – I create my own reality. And then like any realization, there comes a point when it is time to let it all go, once again.
Something in me clicked – this was no longer needed, no longer desired - I did not need to write anymore human free will plays. In that realization, I completely had to let go of every single thing I have shared and wrote about on the New Energy Creator website.
In embodied enlightenment, these concepts of creatorship are outdated, and obsolete, though they were a vital part of my journey. You no longer need to create with New Energy (energy containing consciousness). Instead, creation requires no energy at all.
We are marked by the grace in which we let things go. I watched that body of work be sucked into the vortex of what no longer serves. What do I do with all the New Energy Creator work? I archive it into the library of the soul’s wisdom, and I walk on. It’s that simple.
In the New Moon gathering, I saw in divine will I was beyond acting roles, beyond writing a script, directing, and staring in it. For those roles were the will of the human and not the will of God.
In other words, in the will of God there is a different script, or perhaps none at all, Sar’h and Master M suggested, allowing me the wiggle room to discern for myself, as I will allow you to do as well.
So as I found myself behind the curtain of all stages, I had a backstage pass to watch as more things were sucked into the vortex of what was no longer mine. I watched the stories, the plays, and the movies that no longer served reverse with the changing tide of my soul’s wisdom.
I remember in 2014 standing at a Mayan ruin in southern Mexico. As I entered the hearth of a stone structure, I heard Sar’h and Master M telling Lauren, my human self, “Let go of the need for recognition.”
For years, in the human will, I felt I needed to become unattached to being seen, so that people would see me. In this New Moon moment, it became very clear that I no longer wanted recognition at all. Not wanting it did not mean letting go of it, not being tied to it, but really with every cell of my being desiring the opposite experience. I want to be left alone, to play no role at all, and simply BE in my own essence.
This trip was defined by the letting go of human free will and stepping into the will of God. There are several things that got twisted around by the human. I feel like it is hugely supportive to talk about what I got “wrong.” The feeling of embarrassment left me some years ago, anyway.
First, Master M said he was going to meet me in India. He certainly did but, of course, it was not on the old physical Earth. It was beneath a Banyan tree, of which only those with eyes can see it.
Going back to the beginning of the trip, I realized deeply that I would no longer be sharing with the audience that is Masters Hub and other groups spiraled off from the Crimson Circle. Not because it was wrong or bad – it serves many right now – but I had quickly outgrown it.
My human free will reasoned it was because we (multiple me) were “supposed to” “work with” a larger audience. In that human thought form, I created the ‘Return to Self’ series for a larger audience, advertised it as a way to explore this theory.
I could not have been more off. That is not what I am “supposed to do.” Too funny!
What I really did was set up my own energy portal for ME – not the readers – to Return to SELF, and what I found is I no longer want to teach anything, and I certainly do not want to work with anyone in awakening stages of realization.
Why? Because I can see, sense and know everything is perfect - absolutely perfect for them - and requires zero interference. Also, I do not enjoy it at all. More importantly, it is not the will of God.
Teaching is rarely, very rarely a divine will action. As I have seen in myself, it is so easy to turn and manipulate what is definitely human will into believing from a human perspective that it is divine will.
Sar’h ever so gently whispered, “Those who are out there teaching are doing so because they still need to learn the material themselves.”
It makes so much sense. All of what I have been sharing – writing the Thirty Days of Self-Love was about me finding that space for myself. Each client I met with and reflected their mastery back to was a way for me to reflect mastery back to myself. I no longer need the mirror – I can see myself so clearly in the darkness of the New Moon.
Yet, I took a pause to honor the experience that playing the teacher, facilitator role gifted me, and let it go, as it no longer serves.
So what does exist beyond the illusions of human free will living – for me?
There is one thing I kind of got right, or was at least on the right track. I said I would be “working with” those who are committed to the embodied enlightenment experience – beyond the circus, beyond the social media videos, beyond the cool kids club (none of which are wrong or bad but simply do not flow with the state of divine will).
I am not here to “work” with anyone, yet in this New Moon gathering, which created such an expansive space beyond the noise, I can see what I can offer you all and what you offer as well – a space for embodied masters and ascended masters to BE beyond all the human constructs and systems. That cannot be done on a Facebook platform. It cannot be done right now in a physical old Earth space. It can only be held beyond the illusions.
Myself and others like you are holding a space in the physical and Master M and his friends are holding a space in the ethereal for those who have the passion to stay here in body and BE. Not teach, not draw a crowd, but to simply be.
For that reason, I do not want this space to continue on Facebook or Patreon. By 2018, I’m going to move all this content onto a password protected website, which will include a forum for those who make the shift over. More updates on that will be forthcoming, but I did want to share my personal realizations before going into the bigger picture.
Note: The site was moved over here in November 2017.
Coming back from our journey, I cannot un-see what I saw. To know everything around you is an illusion is one thing and experiencing every single reality as a movie screen projected into the physical is quite another.
Since returning I have not had one brief moment in which I did not see the illusion clearly. Not a single second has passed in which I did not know I was walking though a movie set. The woman who passed me on the trail yelling at me to put my dog on a leash was nothing but an actor on the stage.
So what is real? Let me begin again, please.
Any human who travels to far lands returns home forever changed. It’s no different for the conscious being. Yet, the magnitude of the earthquake of change upon arrive ‘home’ – with one thud of a heavy passport stamp – the world becomes different in ways previously unimaginable for the mere human traveler.
To know this yourself, you need not step on a plane or drive across borders – you need only expand your mastery in perspective and perceptions to seeing, sensing, and knowing deeply (from experience, not a mental construct) that everything – every little last thing in this life and all others – is and was an illusion but one thing – that thing is called love.
Speak not of the human kind of love, but the kind you find in dark crevices in the space between the cells of your being. This kind of love is an experience that can only be found beyond the illusions and behind the curtains of all perceived realities.
The only thing real in this world free from illusion is this dark love – love you can only experience and know when you have given up the rest, including your human free will and any human passion beyond self-realization, through the art of complete surrender.
I will write it again. To experience this kind of love, you must see clearly and know deeply your perceived passions are but mere distractions.
It’s the kind of love that exists beyond the stages, beyond the movie projected, and it can only be sensed in the absence of that movie screen – one you can step away from for a time and space, like we did in the New Moon gathering, if you joined us.
This dark love - this love that exists outside illusion has another name. It is the Love of God, and that, my friends, is what we brought forth in the New Moon gathering and what I will continue to do each month should you feel compelled to join, checking your human free will at the door, please.
I hate to say it, but Adamus was right. Kuthumi was right. Master M was right. In this embodied enlightenment experience, you will not want to be social. You will not want to be online. Enjoy it while you can. Have the experience in the illusion.
One day you will wake up, and you will not want to play a role in the illusions anymore. You will see so clearly how nothing is authentic. Everything is an act. And for a time, you would rather be alone, wandering realities. The only company you will welcome is those who pass by who are also walking beyond the veil of illusion.
Like Kuthumi, you will want to talk to trees. Like Adamus, you will trade your proverbial castle for a forest. Like Master Morya, you will leave your role as prince and become the ruler of your own kingdom, instead.
And, just like anything else, that too will dissolve. But for a time, you will not want to play in the video game that is Earth’s illusions.
When Adamus first said these things, such as masters are not on Facebook. Masters don’t go to organized Shaumbra events. I said, “Hey buddy, you don’t get to define my enlightenment experience.” That was the human free will talking.
I will not speak for you all, but for me, he was entirely spot on.
I feel the need to untangle myself from all the roles I created. The master laughs and says, “Hey, just walk away.” And so I am.
I will continue to meet you all in the space beyond the noise, beyond the veils of illusion, and in complete resonance with the dark love, that is the love of God (SELF).
As we said before, once you stop grasping at the figurative $100 bill, there are millions waiting for you on the 'other side', and those riches are found only in the love of God.
Creation no longer requires New Energy; it requires no energy, no effort at all. In fact, it is essential that you do not use effort or energy in your creations in this space.
This is something we’ve been discussing at length and will some more.
I will also be sharing about PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) as related to stepping into divine will.
On Wednesday, I am headed to the desert of New Mexico before going to visit my mom. I will surely be bringing anyone with me who wants to come visit and have a cup of tea, go for a long walk among the desert sands, and of course, play with Professor Ollie.
Thank you for your gracing this space with your essence. Oh be ahn, fellow travelers!
Remember when you first woke up how hard it was to be in mass consciousness for a time? Then it seems to lose its sharp edges, and you move on and it no longer creates friction.
That's where I am in in regard to free will. Just like when I first awoke, it's so easy to see who is still operating in free will and who is embracing the art of surrender to divine will - with total compassion. And just like anything, this too shall pass.
It's not judgement at all, yet I can feel the friction of those operating in free will and calling it mastery, and the space where I am now- breathing the divine will of the god self. I know this too will dissolve along with the free will. I'm simply sitting on the edge before jumping- that's always a bit rough for the human.
Master M says many ponder what is their life's purpose, yet few desire to know the purpose in the context of divine will. Even fewer, he says, will be able to let go of human will fully to be absorbed into God's will through the sacred art of surrender.
It's become very clear to me that there is no space for this on social media to share yet, and many are too absorbed in free will projects (me not too long ago- owning that fully) to truly fathom what this entails - with the exception of many of you here.
With that, Master M and I invite you to an ethereal New Moon gathering for both ascended masters and embodied masters. It is a place for you to share your essence, your being-ness, with those who know, with those who have relinquished human will fully- for as Tobias said, you cannot have both.
"It will be challenging. You will want to keep BOTH your Free Will and your Divine Will. You will want the wonderful attributes of Free Will while you take on the new Divine Will. We are here to tell you that it does not work that way. One must be released before the other can be experienced." - Tobias via Crimson Circle (in gratitude and thanks to Karen for finding it!)
The new moon is a time when the moon fades into black and becomes invisible in the night sky. It is also a time for planting seeds and opening doorways for potentials.
We are inviting you only to bring your essence and breathe with friends. One only needs to breathe divine will to create energetic doorways for others to receive the magnificence of the soul's will and wisdom- plus no one will be selling you anything:P
I'm flying home today and I'm going to take a week to really allow divine will to flow through my beingness. I have a lot of notes and stories that will pour out after this time. I also have a better grasp at what the Center of Being will BE and how that will evolve from this group. See you at the gathering if you join us and be back next week.
Thank you for adding so much to this page!
Those of us who have chosen the self-realization path in life are no strangers to change, transformation, and transfiguration. For me, the only thing constant in my life has been allowing myself to go with the flow of my own soul’s wisdom – at any human cost.
For the human, this amount of change can be quite tumultuous – that is until we are connected with the unconditional love of SELF and complete trust in SOUL. And, what a grand space that is to exist in!
In the past month or so, the flow of my own soul’s wisdom has been leading me in a different direction. The soul sessions and video/ in-person workshop type of material I have been offering since 2015 is no longer part of this flowing river within me.
I have deeply enjoyed meeting people through my work and reminding them of something they already know – the kingdom is within – all answers you seek, all creative solutions for the perceived problems in life can only be found within you – by accessing your unique soul’s wisdom - rather than externally.
Everything I have to offer the world – reminding people of their own soul’s wisdom – can be found in my writing, something I will continue as long as I can hold a pen in my hand – no longer to teach anyone anything, but because I enjoy it more than anything else in life. If it inspires people that’s wonderful, but it’s not the goal. In fact, there is no goal.
Over the past few months, it seems the intensity of the spiritual and consciousness-related material out there has exponentially increased. We have gone from three stations on our consciousness radio to millions, when really the only station you need to tune into is yours and yours alone.
Furthermore, while I will always continue to write about the amazing friendship between Ascended Master El Morya and myself, I will no longer be translating his messages for individual clients.
Master M, as I call him, is always available to anyone choosing the embodied enlightenment experience. Those who are in the embodied enlightenment experience can dial him direct anytime. They don’t need me to be the middleman.
Personally, I sense the days of channelers, gurus, and any other external teaching coming to an end. It feels this is the last hurrah for such methods of accessing wisdom from outside our selves.
Paul Simon once sang, “I don’t wanna end up a cartoon in a cartoon graveyard,” and for me, that’s what the channeling world has started to feel like – a big circus, where nothing can be taken seriously and discernment is paramount.
I will say that I do not regret my time in this space – at all. I met amazing friends that I will continue to cherish. I also received so much wisdom from my experiences in this space. I am thankful for the people who hold and honor contracts to bring the wisdom of Ascended Masters forth for those who have eyes to see and ears to hear it.
Yet, Master M and I do not have a contract with each other, only a friendship. As he told me from the beginning of our friendship, this life is about my own self-realization, held in the highest regard above all else.
Anything and everything else is and was a distraction. Distractions serve a purpose for a time, helping us get out of our own way. And then there comes a time, when distractions no longer serve us. For me, that time is now.
This didn’t happen overnight. In the last six months, letting go of my attachment to consciousness-related groups and my human notion that I am a teacher with something new to offer – there is nothing new! - has been painful at times.
Yet, once, I allowed the flow of the soul’s wisdom to flow without the human resistance, I have felt a peace never experienced before as I have shifted from operating in human free will to embracing the divine will of the soul, or God-self within.
With that, I thank all of you for riding along with me for a time. I honor everyone for the experience they find themselves in right now, knowing there is no right, wrong, good or bad, and most importantly no rush in the self-realization experience.
My commitment to myself to document as much of my embodied enlightenment experience remains. I will continue to write books – I have two written yet to be published – and share articles on the New Energy Creator blog and Facebook group page for free.
Currently, I am simply enjoying the MAGIC of BEING - not doing - and using my words as a paint brush to express the grandness of what I am experiencing within. For those interesting in continuing to connect, I will meet you in the space beyond the noise.
In appreciation and honor of you and your unique soul story,
Photo: Nusa Lembogan, Bali
I woke up this morning feeling the flowing river of soul down into my toes. The last time I experienced this level of expansion at the end of the 30-days of self-love, I could barely drive a car I was so flighty.
Bringing it all into the body. Calm. Cool. Collected, or assimilated. Grounded but not heavy. Clear beyond thinking from every different angle, from tapping into any collective consciousness. Mine and mine alone.
Feeling myself removed from free will, from incessant promotion of projects, from the human need to create, I am relishing the freedom of no other desire than to be.
There is no excitement in my passions. Instead, my passions - more intense, but infinitely steady -They too flow like the river that is my soul.
Deeply satisfied doing nothing. There's nothing to do or say or share in the old ways.
This sensation is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Any energy modification from external stimuli is not only unnecessary but would represent an affront to what is occurring within.
Here is the latest reader request:"Lately my human self has felt some struggles related to friendships with other women. Having been a woman in most of my lifetimes, I have noticed some old patterns of competition and jealousy come to the surface, even with friends who are conscious and going through their experience of enlightenment. This also relates to the topic of allowing ourselves to shine. I understand that we lose some friends when we allow ourselves to be our authentic, radiating selves. But it would also be great to still have a few human friendships here. What are your (and El Morya’s) perspectives on this?"
This is a great question and one I have pondered for lifetimes. I have a lot of personal experience with it (also having been a woman in many lifetimes), and I'm going to share some of my Lauren human experiences and wisdom from Sar'h, who has navigated my human self through these experiences, but first Master M.
When it comes to human relationships, Master M, is a bit harsh. He says with energy not words that we are not here to be liked.
"Who cares?" he has asked me when I whined about the energy of competition among girlfriends and energetically draining boyfriends.
"Why do you keep putting yourself in these situations?" he would ask - not to be cold and callous but to present a question for me to answer deeply at the soul level. Why was I continuing to allow myself to be distracted?
He indicated the further we step into Divine Will, the less we will need and desire human friendships. He says instead friendships take a sweet turn in the embodied enlightenment experience, although they are quality not quantity.
He also warned that just like when we go through a human awakening and those in mass consciousness stare at us like we are crazy, when we step into divine will those still creating and playing in human will, will also look at us with the eyes of human judgement. We must remember it is not really them, but the human will clinging onto the soul for dear life that judges.
"Many will say they are choosing enlightenment. They will play the part extremely well. It will appear as if they have it all together on these social media sites, and people will be drawn to them for a time.
Yet, in the end, many will not be willing to forgo the human comforts (he's not talking about renunciation of material possessions, but of human attachments, such as co-dependent relationships and a desire to be liked, for example) that must be shed to have the full experience.
As I said before, they will jump at a chance for the $100 (or the supposed conscious handsome dude - Lauren add), a dozen others are fighting for - not once or twice or three times, and finally learn the lesson, but over and over again.
For those of you becoming or already sitting in your divine will space, you will know deeply, for you, it was never a choice but a will of your soul so deep and so strong to know it is God, also, that there was never a way to stay in the human will circles.
Like Lauren - and some of you did this a long time ago - after diving after the $100 bill for the last time, you will say no more. You will step back, breathe and be, allowing the riches of Divine Will to simply appear in your hand (and the super actually conscious dude will appear).
And you will not have the desire to share with your fellow humans "choosing" enlightenment instead of being it, because it is too much of an energetic expense and you know they will not be able to comprehend it.
Like we have been talking about for many months, in divine will there is no longer judgment, but a fined-tuned discernment, which could not be perceived while still operating in human free will."
After my first book was published or birthed, I decided to have a party to celebrate. As you know, I do not have children, and the book was my baby. It was almost like a baby shower or my child's first birthday party.
I invited friends, made a huge meal, bought amazing wine, and opened my house to my Colorado community. I didn't mind the effort because it was a celebration I wanted to share with friends. Writing a book is a solitary experience, so being around people was a real treat.
I had books for sale for $10, but did not push it and kept them in the corner. It was simply there if someone wanted to buy it.
Now in human worlds, if I were back in Austin, Texas, my friends would have put on this event for me. They would have walked around the room, letting people know the book is for sale.
At this time in my life, I was still transitioning from my human friends who outwardly showed their support as I did for them. For example, when they had a baby, I showed up to do their laundry for a month, because having a baby is hard. When I got a divorce, they came and packed up my belongings while I cried in a corner. When there was something to celebrate, we planned a party. When there was a problem to solve, we got on group text and solved it. It was simple and a given.
I learned quickly that would not happen in Colorado and I accepted it as part of moving from awakening into enlightenment, so I was able to drop my expectations there. In Colorado, I learned it was everyone for themselves, which I get - super sovereignty I can dig. For example, when I first moved there, I asked for some help and was given a stern NO. So I asked a human friend who was happy to help. Problem solved.
But something more was boiling in the pot so deeply since I moved there, and it came to a head. It was ugly, but a huge gift, for it came up to be released - the energy of competition.
More than half the people who came to the party were really truly happy for me. They purchased a book, said congratulations. They brought a dish to share. They saw me and how much work and courage went into the book.
Others came, ate and drank, never mentioned the book, talked about themselves, and energetically put a wall up between me and them. Here I was the fat kid with thick glasses in junior high again. Why didn't they like me???? I was trying so hard to fit into their rules, be self sufficient, say the right things (as I was constantly corrected for my word choices). It was exhausting. Why did these people show up to only talk to their friends and shun me?
I cried for a couple of days the victim crocodile tears, and asked my soul, what am I do wrong?
"First of all, stop trying to play by their rules. They feel the energy of you trying to please them, and it is like making yourself a target. More importantly, can't you see this is about them. You wrote the book they have been trying to write (figurative, not literal). You are creating! The ones who are happy for you, are in a state of self-love. The others are not YET. Have compassion and move on. "
That can't be it, I thought, I must be doing something wrong. But I went on with my life, and went straight into the 30-days of self-love experience, which changed everything. For those of you who read it, you already know I was not fully in love with myself before I left, and now I sense it deeply.
When I got back to Colorado after the 30 days, one woman came up to me at a group event.
"I want to apologize. The last time I saw you at the party at your house, I did not like you. I talked bad about you. I am so sorry. It was really that I was not loving myself, and seeing you happy and thriving made me feel bad about me. It is nothing you did. It was me."
She gave me a hug. She was genuine. All was and is forgiven. It was a magical moment for me.
AND right after that, another woman sensing my radiance, came up to me and said, "I do not like your human self, but I can honor you at the soul level."
The words felt like darts, the energy competitive and aggressive, yet I could see it was not her talking to me, but this old energy of competition.
The difference - it flowed right on through me when I would have stressed and analyzed it for days or even weeks before the self-love flowed in.
My dearest friend in Colorado and I also had a bout of this weird, old, nasty female competitive energy that took us a part for many months. This one was on me, completely. I accused her of all sorts of things, which were really my own. After a long break and apologies she so masterly said were not needed, we too have moved passed it.
Master M who seems to care less whether I have friends or not, jumps for joy when I am going to meet her for a walk. He says, "(Her Name), yay, I can't wait to hear what she has to say!"
He says she is like Kuthumi was to him in his last life - a trusted friend and a true master without the bullshit who will tell you directly to your face, what you need to hear even when you don't want to hear it. These words may seem harsh but you can tell they come from a space of deep honor for you not out of jealousy or competition.
Those are the type of friends you will have in divine will. They will not care who you were, but who you have become.
Sar'h says it is like any growth - there is always a death, before the rebirth. Don't forget to water the soil of SELF and have patience for the beautiful bloom sure to grow - one worthy of your company.
I could say so much more about the history of women on this planet, the old competition for the man in the village, and more. Yet, it's an old story, one that is best told through silence.
In appreciation for all of you, no longer the lobsters needing to claw our way to the surface of the water tank, for we already exist in the freedom outside of the tank.
Big love. Big life.