Good day, friends!
First of all, those coming to Italy we will have a breakfast buffet and sit down dinner on October 2nd. Damian and I have confirmed 24 people attending the dinner (includes wine) and 21 for breakfast (includes coffee). The cost will be about 20 Euro for both or less. Please try to have exact change for that and your space in the house.
Shared rooms are 61 euro per person and single rooms are 122 euro for both nights. Damian and I are both having money collecting 'dreams' so come ready to chip in. Much appreciated and thank you for your patience with us and the Italian way of planning, which is non-existent.
This is not fully formed...but what I have been realizing for myself is that I have not been allowing love beyond what inside myself (which I needed to experience too). I have been focused on rocks, wounds, over analyzation (or deep exploration that was needed, depending on perspective) of sovereignty and old stories.
In being so focused on these things, I forgot how much you all and all my Shaumbra-faceted friends love me. The outpour of notes and people who genuinely want to hang out with each other (and me - wow, really? Tear of the good kind!) has been overwhelming even beyond this page. I had no idea. Really. I love you all back. Thank you.
In the end, we have no past and no future. We can hang, suspended in beingness and just enjoy not worrying whether we are in a club, not in a club (or we can go the other way and really dive into it - why not? Everything serves as David O'Brien once told me oh so wisely along with reminding me I don't need those boundaries so firmly in place - thank you! AND, I also value the other side of that too - We can just honor it all, no?). That flick of the reality we choose to explore is always available.
With no contract in place, I can go hang with my friends and not care what else goes on. Choose your own adventure experience. Trying something else on for size. Allowing everyone to just be in their own multi-faceted, multi-sensory reality without drawing any kind of hard lines. Old habit of mine that died hard.
This does not discount my experience or anyone else's in a deep letting go. Each perspective equally as valid or real is the next. I'm just going to swipe left for a moment and see how that goes. Going into playing and allowing this exchange to occur without focusing on "what's wrong with it" or drawing lines. Just knowing instead, where I'm being lit up and if I'm choosing to be lit up or not. It doesn't matter.
In this moment, right now, I cannot think of a better thing to focus on than something beyond love. Just hanging out with my friends in all the beauty of their varied and deeply unique states of being. If you felt dragged through the mud on these last few posts, I apologize (sort of).
The no stone unturned deep allowing of more of myself in was really going on inside me in such an amazing but also deeply painful way, and I was so glad I spent the last week or so in the woods alone.
I'm ready to go to that space beyond love and just share a celebration with you all. I can go back to being super serious later:P And you know I will....
Like noticing until I really truly let go of any and every wound, I do no want to create anything, because I'm not bringing that all into my creations, especially not a house!
In honor of you and your uniqueness! See you there in Italy, Slovenia, or over yonder.
It's been an intense time for me in allowing yet even more of myself to come in.
Being - a perpetual state of becoming - is a full time job.
I am reminded we can hit pause if and when we want to, yet I have hit pause so many times of the course of lifetimes, it is simply not appropriate for me anymore.
I friend told me, "You know you can slow this down."
"Actually, that would make me really sick," I replied. "It's at the tipping point - one little molecule of consciousness has tilted the whole thing out of balance.
You cannot go back; the only way is to find a new equilibrium that has not been reached before. To go back, would throw off the very nature of my being, might even blow up my body or more likely, my mind."
Further, Joanna said it best in her last article. It's not like you are saying "goodbye, I'll see you next lifetime."
When we died a physical death after our failures in Atlantis and the mess that was the crucifixion, we knew there would be other chances.
When it didn't work out with our soul mate, we knew we would meet them again and again and again in another lifetime to "try again."
The goodbyes I am saying in this state are indeed forever at least in the ways we are familiar with. It's not like I'm going back to the bridge of flowers again to prepare for another life when I leave this physical vessel.
I'm stepping into the third circle, or I am there, and I never left it, I realize.
There's no game that can be played again the same way - the one we all know how to play pretty well.
Saying goodbye to my family, to those from Atlantean lifetimes (also to all space or star connections), all family and friends from the times of Yeshua, from the Vedic period in India, from the shores of Avalon and beyond - well, its not just leaving a club (thanks for those words, Joanna), it's a final farewell or sorts.
I was not crying from human emotion this past week.
The tears roll through my physical body, yet they are the tears of the I AM - well beyond human thought and related emotions.
They are the tears of a non-human BEING from space who came to Earth to create something and messed it up so grandly. There is no forgiveness involved here - only a deep awareness and the necessity of allowing it to roll through every last bit of myself without hitting pause.
With the ever so popular human trick of compartmentalizing, we, for example, say, when something is off - that's just the human side and not reflective of the big picture. That's just their human acting out...That's just this or that. Anything you separate from one another to keep it in line in your head compartments...
Yet, once your mind stops working that way, or you move beyond it, that human dualitistic way of compartmentalizing becomes a tool you can no longer access or rely on. You can't just write off behavior as the human or its last hurrah. Let's add in some maturity here.
Maturity being a balance in awareness and the resulting energy surrounding your current state of being.
Maturity being not taking every single organizational buzz word and applying it directly as a filter of your experience.
You are still allowing yourself to be defined by others through this habit, by the way.
A need to place an experience into yet another category. What if an experience is beyond category?
In other words, I cannot do the old human defense tactic of compartmentalization.
It's the tactic that allows for us to make excuses for people - another strange human trait - instead of feeling into the overarching consciousness of something or someone and deciding if we feel okay to have our own consciousness meld with it in creation.
These are not little decisions. When you connect with something, you create with it. Where you place your energy, or consciousness, rather, is not just a trip or vacation, it is creation.
Doing so without awareness, well, you can feel into that.
Every breath you take creates. Every step you take creates. Where you put your money, that too is a creation. Everything is connected and the only way to disconnect is to see that real clearly.
Yet, in saying firmly "No," to these old relations whether it be biological or angelic family or organizations, "I am operating as a sovereign being," means never operating in those loops and stories ever again, not in the same way. Yet, it is not a disconnect into a void (at least not yet for me). That will come later. Or perhaps it is a reality I can access now???!!!
It's a complete restructure of my relationship with everyone outside myself and thus, a changing relationship I have with myself.
As more of ME enters this physical vessel, I expand.
In the expansion, more layers of myself become visible to me.
I took an ancestral freedom course as a singular human, and completed it.
Now as more layers are in my awareness, I begin to see and realize what that means for me beyond this lifetime and this human self called Lauren and her identities which no longer exist.
Or the definition of human expands and as we pull those parts and pieces into awareness, we move down the spiral and revisited everything we once knew to be true.
So often in the dogma-laden vocabulary of the Crimson Circle and other organizational ties, we talk about disconnect.
And it is appropriate -- yet in the "disconnect" I begin to see the complex webs of connection.
It's not like you can remove yourself entirely from everything - at least not right now - what you change instead is your relationship with them. I'm not talking just about people and organizations.
I'm talking energy and even more so how consciousness streams (senses) and archetypical energies (so hard to pick words) interact with one another and what they create.
The "ties" don't go away completely, yet the look and feel much different. We are not cutting cords with etheric knives, for heaven's sake.
In other words, the streams of the overarching (archetype) consciousness that flow within you and between you and what is outside of you, begin to change direction.
Everything supports you now instead of hindering your personal evolution, but there is a shifting tide is not without tugs and pulls.
There is a regime change, you are now the king or queen (all of you not just a small portion of you - it's not an external concept floating in the clouds that you post about on social media but completely internal and overtly sensual) of your own domain.
You do not rule over people but over SELF - all of it. Even the parts and pieces who have never touched down on Earth.
Oh, how thin I had spread myself, my consciousness of who I AM. Wow. Come back into my awareness right here, right now.
For an example that is easy on the brain, seeing my mom for three days about a week ago, I realized just by being around me, she was profoundly affected, and unknowingly to her narrow-view human awareness she was changing her karmic relationship with her ancestral body and family.
The first night my mom was terribly sick to her stomach - throwing up and the other... She said it was bad food (If you still are pointing to food poisoning and such as a reason for your symptoms like a friend I have who is a twenty-year Shaumbra, well, I got nothing nothing left for you).
I could see so clearly in the spiral of allowing more of who I am to expand, I was also disconnecting, or rather, re-writing the connection between myself in my ancestral lineage. My mom - well none of us operate in a vacuum - we are sovereign and yet what we do has a ripple effect that moves beyond the space-time continuum - was feeling that at her deepest layers too.
After she got back home (got her a plane ticket back - three days is plenty!), my mom's estranged brother who had not talked to her in twelve years contacted her and demanded a copy of my grandmother's will. He planned to contest it. He didn't say, "Hi, I am so sorry. I'd like to reconnect." He came out with his swords in hand.
All the old junk for her and this family coming up for release just because she was in my physical presence.
It's easier for me to remain behind the short wall to watch all of this when it comes to my human physical family lineage. Much easier than any connection from Yeshua and Mary Magdalene timelines and Atlantean dramas.
Last night I saw my great grandmother Helen (passed long before I was born but who was with me most of my life) and my grandmother Lillian, who died last summer, cross the bridge of flowers.
Realizing they were not going to heal or transform this deep ancestral wound from the near Earth realms (they learned from watching me all this time), they both made the decision independent from each other, the best thing they could do was return to their angelic families, get a full life review, and transform themselves, rather than the agenda-laden, string-pulling which is a defining characteristic of near Earth realm living. They could come back to Earth with a fresh life start.
I too see this happening in the Crimson Council connection I have. I was deeply rooted in this space for an amount that cannot be measured in time, but can be measured by how much of myself I put into it - all of me.
It comes in more and more as I move down the spiral of the new-ness of myself I have brought into this physical body or more so the awareness in this point of being.
My sense of focus is no longer creating an image of my realization happening in a vacuum. My sense of focus has expanded to realizing my embodied enlightenment affects everything around me - even and especially when I am firmly in a no agenda observation state.
(The Banyan Tree specifically, more later).
Somewhat necessary was this focus to think realization was only about me. Now I simply cannot make my focus that narrow anymore.
Choosing realization for yourself is like throwing a giant rock in a still lake. The ripples reach out infinitely, as as you deepen into the realized state of being, your awareness of who you are and why you are here expands infinitely as well.
The vacuum was an illusion, and the definition of sovereignty is as dynamic and ever-changing as my state of being.
I'm pleased to report the tears have stopped. I could have watered the Sahara Desert with them. My I AM is that big:)
Many have written about the 'steps and stage' leading up to realization, but few have dared to write about what happens 'after.' Really there is no before and after once you step into the totality of being you, for that is just another duality. But for the sake of conversation and a growing need to toss out old dogmas of the realized state, I share with you Joanna's article - ALONE.
Not exactly matching my unique experience or yours, she touches on something - a broad experience - that seems to come into play in this embodied experience. It's also a call - if you choose - to move beyond those limited definition of what it means to be human and divine and allow the totality of the consciousness of you to come into embodiment. There's no better time than now.
Thank you, Joanna, for capturing in words what I have not been able to - yet - Lauren
There is a totality in the depths of what ALONE feels like initially, to the degree that if not experienced, very few can understand….although I’m sure many here know. It’s not an alone from being an orphan or being single. It’s not the alone we feel so at home in when no one is bugging us in our floating bliss. It’s a feeling so profound, that the human, the spirit and any part that has felt a strong camaraderie with others or a strong purpose of being (on any level) feels like they are being ripped apart.
I will preface this by saying that there is ‘the other side’ of this (there always is) … it walks through us and we come to such a supreme feeling of freedom that nothing else compares. Sometimes different layers of this occur after we let in the supreme freedom that is us. But going through it can be rough. When it trickles down to all parts and pieces that are unaccepting or unaware it can feel like it wreaks havoc. I find, and have found personally, that our spiritual quests of the so-called past are some of the trickiest and stickiest to navigate.
I was once absolutely terrified of losing my husband… it’s not actually that I even liked him that much (ha!) and it’s not that I cared about being single or not. It’s that I thought that if I didn’t have another beside me in my space, I would float away and would cease to exist. This was before I knew much of anything on the human experiential level, but enough was coming in that I felt it. So I kept him around; I pretended nothing was wrong; I pushed it to the very edge to allow it to decide for me if I should stay on the planet or not. That would be a great excuse to leave, no? I wouldn’t have to make the decision. When we finally separated, it brought me to my knees… literally I would collapse mid step in a puddle of tears on to the floor. I couldn’t move, sometimes quite paralyzed. Seeing almost anyone was painful, a restriction I couldn’t take. I could not explain the depths of what it was to people who thought it was about divorce. I spent the better part of the next three years completely alone with my cats.
This supremeness of sovereignty, these levels of consciousness that we are bringing in, and where we are going next, leaves no room for old attachments or limitation of any kind. It has a difficult time even being in the body, let alone the stories that go along with it. Of Earth or otherwise.
What we release here, isn’t just a ya, I’ll see you next life, in the next game. What it is, is a COMPLETE removing of oneself from everything and anyone we’ve ever known in an old way. It’s a severing that is harsh when felt at it’s depths, that can happen anytime; before, during or after realization, whether we are aware of what it actually is or not. Yes, it’s true that we can make it smoother if we choose; I always chose to rip off the bandaid - it’s a personal choice.
When we add in the components of who we really are, the grandest and most famous roles we’ve ever played and the comrades we played them with, the result can be devastating on so many levels. We are letting go of the very deepest essences of our being to move into the new. A complete dissolution of everything. The very reason we thought we existed, on almost all levels don’t forget, feels like it’s being ripped from our being. And really, it is.
Now being in the human body might bring just another level to it…the depth of FEELING. What we wanted from this place, the slowed down physical feeling of being. Something most have never allowed themselves to even get near. It brings a depth to passion that can only be felt here, something again many on this journey won’t even dip a toe in after twenty, even thirty years.
We are ready for this, we asked for this and we are stepping into this regardless…but it still needs to move through us. So what we are saying here is that this isn’t just about realization. That is just the flip of perception and awareness that opens the door to the rest of us. It’s part of it, but we are moving into the new also.
And believe me, many days I would rather stay in the complete and overarching, supreme, untouchable, truth of freedom that I actually am and live out my days in bliss at all times. But I agreed to feel (as have others) and partake and experience this right here, right now in this physical body. And so comes along with it, some not so nice parts. Some pain and some shitting of pants (ha!). And while it’s simultaneous - these two points can exist together - sometimes we dive right in to the nasty bits, because we know we can’t get lost. Not everyone has to do this or wants to do this - and that doesn’t matter.
The truth of what is happening is this: we are bringing in these levels of ourselves that have never been near any of their creations in such a way before. It has never been a part of some of these beings that are part of our multiplicity. So this human point of convergence that is us, feels all these layers being touched by consciousness that have never felt this level of compassion, neutrality and purity of acceptance before. And we all kinda know this, but once in a while we need to be reminded of the magnitude of what we are doing.
This is seeing something for what it really is at the highest levels of consciousness and in turn this creates an alchemy that transmutes the ‘thing’ or the ‘aspect’ into the neutrality or wisdom that it truly is. These parts don’t have a clue what that is and so, will sometimes put up a fight. (We know this well also!) But then the human layer will sometimes interfere with what it thinks is happening. For example, well when I was five years old, such and such happened, or my husband/wife left me. And we go down this tunnel searching and looking and fixing and drag it all out… and it has nothing to do with the current ‘thing’.
We can bring this down to you, here, reading this, in your chair or at your desk. We can say to ourselves: wow, I thought that was ‘gone’ why is this coming up again. Some call it the spiral as we re-meet certain aspects of ourselves with new awareness… that’s one way of putting it. But, we can also say it’s not really you sitting there that it’s coming up for, it’s coming up for perhaps a part of your being you are not aware of, it may be coming up for a level that is part of your collective.
The encouragement here is open beyond the ‘my human’. The human is not a stupid rambunctious puppy; it’s a very important part of what is occurring right now. It’s feeling what all the other levels are feeling, and doing ok considering. It’s really, really important at this point in the game to start to expand the notions and ideas of who we are. Beyond human vs master or human vs soul. You feel everything because you ARE everything.
It’s hard to conceive with the mind. That these wide open spaces that we are contain so much within them. And add to THAT, what it's often so hard to convey: the BIG picture view that certain structures are crumbling. Because of the layers of consciousness we are bringing down, things that previously existed simultaneously within our enlightenment, are either going out of existence or no longer exist at all. For realz. Can be tough. It truly is different now.
When I embodied, I became aware that my essence was EVERYWHERE... it's not as simple as, oh on this human level I'll just leave the club or the family. We become aware of who we are on ALL levels and of everything we are taking part in, everywhere. We become aware of the eons and eons of 'time' we have been involved in everything and with whom and we are cleaning up in a way, again, that has never been done before.
How that translates here sometimes is an inability to participate in or even talk about anything that hinders true freedom in any way. It quite literally hurts on levels we didn't know we had--we aren’t just human. The 'other realms' IS where we exist and we are aware of it. It's not an either/or, it's not a right/wrong and certainly nothing as juvenile as a rebellion.
What we are also doing is changing the very structure of everything we have ever done on all layers of creation… when you are aware of that and EXIST IN THAT, you see all layers of what is occurring and how you are involved. Details aren’t really needed at certain points, but feeling it is enough.
So when one layer removes itself, so do ALL LAYERS. It's not a judgment or a hierarchy when others don't see what we see, we have just opened up to these layers that exist in each one of us. But to convey that to others who think it's just about leaving a club, a partner or friends, it’s almost impossible. It's not drama... it's a release and a dissolving of much of what we have always known to be. It’s a big fucking deal. But the hurt does have an ending point.
The other day I was clearing out a collection of things to give away to a thrift store. At the bottom of a box of CDs (ya I still have some), I found a forgotten letter from the aforementioned husband that on the surface seemed like a love letter, but was actually a manipulation. When I figured that out the first time I was devastated and humiliated; when I look at it now — Nada. Nothing. Even a slight smile. Who the hell was that person, I thought. The depth of what I had felt at the time, that brought me to my knees, was a vast history of being manipulated, disaster ensued and along with that came a big dose of guilt. A big long story that may have involved being a very angry guard-cat-person— don’t ask! I didn’t know the story at the time or understand the depths of release.
I had a spiritual quest, a reason for being at what I thought was at the core of me, to protect and to stop the baddies, to put it in its simplest terms. I had a posse of beings at my side that I loved, honored and were with me no matter what. We thought we could not exist without one another. The ex was part of that. But as we all know, the battle never ended that way…
And then I found another way — I met my Maker. I tried to share that freedom with others. Tried to show, convince, scream, push you name it. It fell on deaf ears and it was heartbreaking.
Everyone was searching desperately for answers but no one actually wanted them. It hurt….deep.
And then I realized I could just STOP. Be on my own. ALONE. It ripped down to - almost - the core of me, but for my sake and creation’s, I had to. And so I let the baddies free. And so I let my comrades free. And they continue to play….some of them. It’s not pretty; it’s heart-wrenching; it’s beyond frustrating to watch.
And yet, I set myself free.
And I sat there invisible.
No agenda. No purpose. No reason to be. FREE.
Slowly but surely some saw me…returning and joining me in freedom. To the beingness where nothing can touch us. Nothing hurts. There’s no hierarchy, no past, no convincing.
In the meantime we walk through it, whatever it may be, whenever it comes up. Some of us choose to truly dive in just so we know. Sometimes orgasm, sometimes just ugly orgasm face without the fun.
And look now, a space to be, share, and create the new. By true choice, true friendship, not old ties. Alone doesn’t mean without others. Alone is a necessity so we can reconnect and support from freedom. ALONE but FREE to support in truth. It’s a whole new ballgame and it’s worth every minute when you’re on the other side.
Thank you, Joanna!
One of the most beautiful side effects of a realized state of being is the fact that I have become completely and acutely aware of myself in other realities beyond this physical one.
Once I thought realization would mean all part of myself would home “home” and yet it is more so that I am aware of all facets of myself and “home” simply expands beyond this singular point of physical existence – one without edges in its infinite-ness.
Those parts and pieces of self do not return to a singular self yet the singularity of self expands in the infinite beyond.
For example, despite the letting go of the physical world of the Crimson Circle organization in my move from Colorado last February, I became increasingly aware in the last six months of my involvement on the Crimson Council – the angelic counterpart to the human organization.
I found myself in meetings, discussing whether and why people were retaining or not the wisdom contained in the message. I was involved in conversations of how to repeat the same message – this time in a way people would get it, this time it would be different.
Let’s get more radical, one person suggested. A mass release of mass consciousness, they decided. To be done this fall.
The conversation on the council drifted back to mass ascension and mass release – as a group. El Morya and I stood at the front and argued to work with more individuals, allowing the space for individuals to release this independent of a group might create a tipping point or more so add wait to the already existing motion into the third circle.
In physics, the tipping point is the point at which an object, or entity, is no longer balanced, and adding a small amount of weight can cause it to topple, or to change form. It is how seemingly little things can make a big difference.
In this case, how two or three people choosing their sovereignty or release from mass consciousness and/or the molasses loop we talked about can create a slip stream for others to follow if they choose.
Others on the council wanted to go for the big release, but back in Atlantis we tried the group way and well, let’s just say it didn’t work.
In this etheric state, I gave a presentation on how the brain was developed in Atlantis. Back then I warned the creators of the new physical human body that the brain was too permeable – to susceptible to outside programming.
Of course, those on the council were aware of this fact. They said we must work with it. That’s why information is repeated. The information transmutes into the peripheral of the person attending the workshop or listening to the channels, but it simply did not stick.
For example, I person reads the words or hears the messages, feels the expansion and then as easily as it comes the words float out and the person in this example returns to the limited state once again.
So instead of going for the mass, we advocated for the demonstration of the two to three or better yet five physically embodied beings to make this shift.
I’m too far into the details, but to know what you are doing with precision in other realities is one of the facets of this beautiful realization experience.
The other night I walked into a council meeting with El Morya and handed in my resignation. He did as well.
Was I giving up on the work of the council? No. Was I severing an old contract to create a new one? Yes. I will work on a case by case basis and must be honored for my work.
Back in February Adamus St. G said those who still wanted to caudle people in their realization process were asked to leave the council. They were too soft, too patient, and the council needed to move forward. He called them the pink council.
Yet the part of the story he left out, were those that were too tired and weary to deal with further people still playing the games, after twenty long years of the repeating messages, twenty years of conflicts that had raged since the fall of Atlantis and after the crucifixion of the Christ.
Adamus St. G implied anyone leaving the CC was simply not ready for enlightenment but what he left out of the story that some of those of us firmly in it also left, perusing more so the tipping point view of the expanded picture.
Instead of focusing on the mass, as El Morya so eloquently state along with myself, let’s focus on those who are really ready. The small numbers of you, who are truly and deeply committed to letting go of the game – finally.
What’s at stake is far too important. These people are not only committed to themselves but also at weaving the consciousness of the Christ, the consciousness of being into the fabric of this world.
It remains to be seen who will be “right” in this matter, and it also doesn’t matter what “works” – what truly matters here is people in whatever way they can begin to see beyond the limited human state. Letting go of old karmic ties, human conflicts and hurt that is based in deep and real wounds from all of the many councils and structures we have all been a part of for eons.
Yesterday, I did just that. I demonstrating for those who have forgotten the physical nature of the body.
With the few members of councils remaining that I “work” with, I showed them what hurt looked like. I showed them how sticky it was to let an old grudge go. To forgive and forgive and forgive.
To forgive the people who turned Yeshua into a circus. To let go of the politics of the two-thousand-year-old history and strife within the scarf wearing crimson council from the days when we lived in hiding.
I showed or reminded, rather, those no longer in a physical body how hard that truly is when you are still human – still in this Atlantean programmed biological body.
I felt every chord being ripped from my gut as it severed. I cried a thousand and one tears. I felt my heart hollow out in deep sadness for all the failures of eons past. The persecution from outside AND much, much worse the persecution from inside.
I had already done this for myself, yet I allowed myself to go through it again to show them, what it takes to do so.
Instead of dodging the rocks thrown at my head, I let then hit me hard, just like Yeshua did. I forgave from the same heart, from the same flow of consciousness flowing through me.
Then when I got back to my cabin last night, I looked up at the stars. I could see the milky way so very clearly. I could see each star in the sky. Every planet shown through the fabric of the heavens.
Maybe others were still in the game. They did not know what I have been releasing for myself and others on a day to day basis. I was simply some crazy woman in the woods who can longer feel completely 'right' to attend any kind of CC gathering be it on Earth or the angelic realms.
It’s not that I left out of hate or frustration. I did not hand in my resignation to make a point or piss people off. I left out of love. Something that I do not know if but a few people can fathom.
You see my life, my physical vessel, my tears, my laughter, my heart – all of me is dedicated to holding the space the emergence of realization beings – no matter how hard it hurts. There is no part of me in any reality that will allow me to turn my back on those choosing realization. It simply is not an option.
Yet, it is something that can only be done out here, and not within the confines of that council or human organization. (The Banyan Tree as I see it defies the angelic council/ human organization counterpart pattern of yore, more later...).
It’s the masterpiece of all my lifetimes to hold this space. I cannot turn my back on it ever.
Others will say they don’t care about others. They are only focused on themselves, their own realization. But this is the will of me. Anything else would be denying who I am. It's not to help, or coach, or teach but to BE, and all that comes with that.
Who I am is a vessel for this consciousness of Christ, of being to roll completely through me, and in being totally true to who I am, I cannot turn my back on others. Not to help them, but to hold the space of emergence, even it its hurts so damn bad.
I saw SAM yesterday. About nineteen, he was barefoot walking into a store in this mountain town. He has but one tattoo – that of the third circle. I looked him in the eyes and said, “Are you ready to come back into this space?”
“No,” he said, “not now. Like you, it’s still more appropriate to be out here, in the third circle of creation. To walk into the second circle now. Well, you know. It’s just a little while longer.”
“I nodded. It certainly is. Do you feel lonely out here?”
“Sure,” he said.
“But what more can we do but wait and continue to love?” he added with a shoulder shrug.
I nodded and an endless stream of tears rolled down my face.
“just a little while longer” I told myself for the millionth time. I will never leave. All I can do is wait, and stare up into the fabric of the heavens, knowing they will align once again.
Perhaps this time, someone will take the time to look up.
I crawled into bed with my dog who cuddle me closely and we drifted off to a space of nothingness, just for a break from it all.
We though a video might clear up any questions about this space evolution and the in-person gathering. Also, a request for feedback below. An invitation to Enjoy as much as we did recording it.
Joanna, sent this to me today and I was going to wait to get it out but I'm about to be real busy. AND, the time is now. Tomorrow we are also recording a video for you all. Thus far, Joanna, Xanthe, Jeane, and my friend Maurice Kok who is not on here have said they will join us for the summer event. Many more will also sign up but perhaps last minute. Last call to get your Banyan Tree stories to us, too. The website is a typo in the graphic. I will add that to my list. - Lauren
BOOK, WEBSITE AND JOANNA UPDATE
It's been quite a summer...or year really. There's both views of 'where did it go' and then reviewing all that's occurred and come together. Much has come together personally and also with what we are creating here.
On the production side
The Banyan Tree Book:
This is about 1/2 done....I got much of it done in July, took a little break and it just needs some additions and rearrangements, so to speak... it's highly likely it will be done mid-later September.
This is a collective voice that came through regarding what we are creating here:
While we have this awesome place and we have laid groundwork for what is next, now this will be put into a new form/space that reflects the shift, including of course the essence of what it is we have created here already. In other words, what we are doing is changing the baseline from which we operate. For the transitionary stage, we see this as not only a new website space, but the accessible information and translation porthole so to speak. The physical space of the Banyan consciousness that we have created to be able to expand upon itself in the human/earth realm also. So it creates its own ‘sister’ dimension/universe connection here.
So we have a multi layered space that is what we already have, sharing creations, stepping into realization/creation, but we will be bringing it to a whole new level to include the new element a little more prominently. The new element being the layers of consciousness that have never been on Earth before.
We are setting up these new bones and setting up the energies to support these bones and allowing it to percolate in such a way that it can be a type of self-generating entity. We are open to it changing, morphing as we do.
So it’s something that you can tap into whichever place or space you choose or are ready for. There is no judgement or hierarchy or linear steps or requirements to share. However, sharing with people who hear and see you is extremely important to many, even if it’s just on calls. It not only helps embody whatever it is, but as has been said, it helps to stay on the planet if that’s your desire. Bouncing off each other in sovereignty is also a very powerful way to create as we are finding out!
So the outline for starters, and that includes what is already present:
Just to give a general flavour for the time being.
Joanna Update - ‘something’ different
Firstly, I’m adjusting to things actually moving and shaking within the physical…things occurring that I have dreamt about—the gathering that I saw many years ago. I got a little too used to my cocoon!
And then there’s the internal something different. The following are kind of initial notes.. something I can’t concretely write about just yet…but hopefully will give a snippet.
There’s an incredible so-called upgrade occurring within me. I consider all that’s occurred internally since I’ve embodied (realized) and I look at what has embodied recently within me as something different. I have different definitions of what I call enlightenment and realization than others, because for me, there’s a difference between ‘access to’ (or enlightenment/master) and ‘embodiment of’ (realization) of either a being/soul or a consciousness. What I speak about now is rarely about human adjusting to such and such, although of course that’s part of it; it’s about the changes occurring in the I AM realm. My interest, has always been how we move from these ‘states of being’ into embodiment of it. It’s different.
But what I’m embodying now, is almost like a being, but a being that has the wiring to be able to translate and connect to this planet in a new way. I cannot say this is a light/freedom body in the way it’s been described. I know in essence that it is not the same internal feeling, so all I know for now is that it’s different. I created this and I remember creating it.
I was on my couch last winter and felt myself as a being in the future. I was imagining what it would feel like to have this within me, pre-made, that could pop in when it/I was ready. It was related to how to translate what I see, how to operate in a way that’s beyond an enlightened human enjoying life, because sometimes in these pristine states of being it’s difficult to operate in this realm (read: get shit done). Karen so aptly dubbed this a ‘plug-in’ when I spoke about it with her last week! Perfect! And it’s a plug-in that enables me a focus in a way I couldn’t before (and create with abandon in the physical). Sounds very A.I., and yet, of course, there’s nothing artificial about it. Like Lauren said, it’s what we are becoming, and it’s here. God-in-focus if you will. :winking face: haha. Or perhaps Creator Body™… that’s mine St.G! And, that’s a joke.
It’s funny though, that when it ‘arrived’ in the now, I perceived it almost as something foreign. I didn’t recognize it right away. It appeared to me as a giant essence kind of hovering over me and I felt a pressure from it in a way. I carried this over me for probably almost a month and it was heavily present while we visited in Vancouver-sort of wrapping itself around me. I was saying to Xanthe, when I didn’t know what it was: it’s not ominous but it’s not entirely pleasant either lol. Then I was speaking with Xanthe and Lauren, and Lauren could see me kind of pushing it away and it finally popped out of my mouth that it felt similar in essence to this thing I had created the winter before… it took Lauren to say: well that’s it! I recognized it and then I allowed it to pop in! So funny….and soooo the reason to gather and share from a place of sovereignty and newness, not related to anything in the past, or a course we took once upon a time. Someone else in awareness to recognize a truth in something, even when we don’t know what ‘it’ is.
This is all something I hope to have much more clarity on in the near future to be able to share in a more concrete way. So I’ll stop here.
AND I’m so beyond moved, excited and everything else about what we all will be doing here and at the gathering. Hope everyone is as honoured to be a part of history as I am. Much honour for all of you.
**Please note I decided not to buy the house in Oregon, but we will still gather next summer. I will let you know as soon as possible.**
I'm sitting here listening to three men, who I deeply honor, talk about what's coming up on Earth in "The New Human Species."
Yet, those of us here, are already in or teetering on the tip of, the homo christos state they describe so beautifully.
The embodiment fully of the Christ consciousness - embodied realization - and what comes with it - embodied creation.
Once upon a time, I waited and watched for these "five masters" Adamus kept talking about bringing on stage.
Then I met you all and more so I met myself, and I realized we are the "five masters" and while we may not need to share that with the world, nor do we have any desire to do so, we can come together for a few days and share that with each other; the implications of that are beyond words.
I don't hear much from El Morya these days, but he's in on this and actually cannot hide his enthusiasm for it. It's something we have sat down together to create for years. The first time came even before my "awakening" in 2012 when a young boy showed up in my dream and told me about July 9th, 2019. It has arrived.
Since that dream and well before I even walked on this Earth, I've held a vision of a space that does not have teachers and students like the mystery schools of yore, but masters in their own right sharing realization and creation embodied/ coming together to share their uniqueness in the homo christos state of being.
When my latest creation of a retreat space - an estate in Gold Beach, Oregon - arrived on my doorstep, the coming together in physical form, crystalized. Karen, and everyone who came to Vancouver, thank you for creating the experience which renewed my faith that time for this was now, and not some decades in the linear future.
I hope you all consider coming to this gathering. It will be facilitated by Joanna and myself, but if you join you will be a presenter, not an audience member. Each person will be given the opportunity to share their experiences in the state of no separation, or you can simply come and enjoy the space and share your consciousness without words.
You know I do not like to charge, and that I often fund things from my own pocket. This simply won't be an option, so the $300 is not paying a teacher, as one does not exist. It will go to consciously cooked shared meals, my time planning and executing this event, and all the costs associated with hosting this many people in my house (chairs, tables, etc).
The remainder of the funds will go to support the web platform Joanna is creating, which will be like Ryver but so much better and for the countless hours she puts into supporting our SOVEREIGN COLLECTIVE online plus the countless hours she will also put into the creation of a sovereign space both online and in Oregon next July. It is a daily commitment from her to provide the facilitation, balance energetics of the space, and an acknowledgement of her taking over a bulk of what I have been doing all along.
We - the sovereign collective of beings, of Infinite I's - continue to grow and expand and re-define what it means to come together without teachers or channelers but simply gathering as we are - without a stage and without the rules and the systems of yesterday. Tomorrow is here.
I see this event completely full, yet I do not plan to advertise it. If you have a friend not on the website who is ready to create such a thing, please feel free to pass along the invite. I'm not sure if this is necessary, yet if you are sure and you want to guarantee your spot, please send $50 to firstname.lastname@example.org via PayPal.
Weaving the cobwebs of creation, so expect expansion and rerouting at will of the passion for being and for those who are ready to BE without filter in their emerged state of being.
Feedback appreciated and considered. With Love, Lauren and this grinning Indian beside me:)