One of the most beautiful side effects of a realized state of being is the fact that I have become completely and acutely aware of myself in other realities beyond this physical one.
Once I thought realization would mean all part of myself would home “home” and yet it is more so that I am aware of all facets of myself and “home” simply expands beyond this singular point of physical existence – one without edges in its infinite-ness.
Those parts and pieces of self do not return to a singular self yet the singularity of self expands in the infinite beyond.
For example, despite the letting go of the physical world of the Crimson Circle organization in my move from Colorado last February, I became increasingly aware in the last six months of my involvement on the Crimson Council – the angelic counterpart to the human organization.
I found myself in meetings, discussing whether and why people were retaining or not the wisdom contained in the message. I was involved in conversations of how to repeat the same message – this time in a way people would get it, this time it would be different.
Let’s get more radical, one person suggested. A mass release of mass consciousness, they decided. To be done this fall.
The conversation on the council drifted back to mass ascension and mass release – as a group. El Morya and I stood at the front and argued to work with more individuals, allowing the space for individuals to release this independent of a group might create a tipping point or more so add wait to the already existing motion into the third circle.
In physics, the tipping point is the point at which an object, or entity, is no longer balanced, and adding a small amount of weight can cause it to topple, or to change form. It is how seemingly little things can make a big difference.
In this case, how two or three people choosing their sovereignty or release from mass consciousness and/or the molasses loop we talked about can create a slip stream for others to follow if they choose.
Others on the council wanted to go for the big release, but back in Atlantis we tried the group way and well, let’s just say it didn’t work.
In this etheric state, I gave a presentation on how the brain was developed in Atlantis. Back then I warned the creators of the new physical human body that the brain was too permeable – to susceptible to outside programming.
Of course, those on the council were aware of this fact. They said we must work with it. That’s why information is repeated. The information transmutes into the peripheral of the person attending the workshop or listening to the channels, but it simply did not stick.
For example, I person reads the words or hears the messages, feels the expansion and then as easily as it comes the words float out and the person in this example returns to the limited state once again.
So instead of going for the mass, we advocated for the demonstration of the two to three or better yet five physically embodied beings to make this shift.
I’m too far into the details, but to know what you are doing with precision in other realities is one of the facets of this beautiful realization experience.
The other night I walked into a council meeting with El Morya and handed in my resignation. He did as well.
Was I giving up on the work of the council? No. Was I severing an old contract to create a new one? Yes. I will work on a case by case basis and must be honored for my work.
Back in February Adamus St. G said those who still wanted to caudle people in their realization process were asked to leave the council. They were too soft, too patient, and the council needed to move forward. He called them the pink council.
Yet the part of the story he left out, were those that were too tired and weary to deal with further people still playing the games, after twenty long years of the repeating messages, twenty years of conflicts that had raged since the fall of Atlantis and after the crucifixion of the Christ.
Adamus St. G implied anyone leaving the CC was simply not ready for enlightenment but what he left out of the story that some of those of us firmly in it also left, perusing more so the tipping point view of the expanded picture.
Instead of focusing on the mass, as El Morya so eloquently state along with myself, let’s focus on those who are really ready. The small numbers of you, who are truly and deeply committed to letting go of the game – finally.
What’s at stake is far too important. These people are not only committed to themselves but also at weaving the consciousness of the Christ, the consciousness of being into the fabric of this world.
It remains to be seen who will be “right” in this matter, and it also doesn’t matter what “works” – what truly matters here is people in whatever way they can begin to see beyond the limited human state. Letting go of old karmic ties, human conflicts and hurt that is based in deep and real wounds from all of the many councils and structures we have all been a part of for eons.
Yesterday, I did just that. I demonstrating for those who have forgotten the physical nature of the body.
With the few members of councils remaining that I “work” with, I showed them what hurt looked like. I showed them how sticky it was to let an old grudge go. To forgive and forgive and forgive.
To forgive the people who turned Yeshua into a circus. To let go of the politics of the two-thousand-year-old history and strife within the scarf wearing crimson council from the days when we lived in hiding.
I showed or reminded, rather, those no longer in a physical body how hard that truly is when you are still human – still in this Atlantean programmed biological body.
I felt every chord being ripped from my gut as it severed. I cried a thousand and one tears. I felt my heart hollow out in deep sadness for all the failures of eons past. The persecution from outside AND much, much worse the persecution from inside.
I had already done this for myself, yet I allowed myself to go through it again to show them, what it takes to do so.
Instead of dodging the rocks thrown at my head, I let then hit me hard, just like Yeshua did. I forgave from the same heart, from the same flow of consciousness flowing through me.
Then when I got back to my cabin last night, I looked up at the stars. I could see the milky way so very clearly. I could see each star in the sky. Every planet shown through the fabric of the heavens.
Maybe others were still in the game. They did not know what I have been releasing for myself and others on a day to day basis. I was simply some crazy woman in the woods who can longer feel completely 'right' to attend any kind of CC gathering be it on Earth or the angelic realms.
It’s not that I left out of hate or frustration. I did not hand in my resignation to make a point or piss people off. I left out of love. Something that I do not know if but a few people can fathom.
You see my life, my physical vessel, my tears, my laughter, my heart – all of me is dedicated to holding the space the emergence of realization beings – no matter how hard it hurts. There is no part of me in any reality that will allow me to turn my back on those choosing realization. It simply is not an option.
Yet, it is something that can only be done out here, and not within the confines of that council or human organization. (The Banyan Tree as I see it defies the angelic council/ human organization counterpart pattern of yore, more later...).
It’s the masterpiece of all my lifetimes to hold this space. I cannot turn my back on it ever.
Others will say they don’t care about others. They are only focused on themselves, their own realization. But this is the will of me. Anything else would be denying who I am. It's not to help, or coach, or teach but to BE, and all that comes with that.
Who I am is a vessel for this consciousness of Christ, of being to roll completely through me, and in being totally true to who I am, I cannot turn my back on others. Not to help them, but to hold the space of emergence, even it its hurts so damn bad.
I saw SAM yesterday. About nineteen, he was barefoot walking into a store in this mountain town. He has but one tattoo – that of the third circle. I looked him in the eyes and said, “Are you ready to come back into this space?”
“No,” he said, “not now. Like you, it’s still more appropriate to be out here, in the third circle of creation. To walk into the second circle now. Well, you know. It’s just a little while longer.”
“I nodded. It certainly is. Do you feel lonely out here?”
“Sure,” he said.
“But what more can we do but wait and continue to love?” he added with a shoulder shrug.
I nodded and an endless stream of tears rolled down my face.
“just a little while longer” I told myself for the millionth time. I will never leave. All I can do is wait, and stare up into the fabric of the heavens, knowing they will align once again.
Perhaps this time, someone will take the time to look up.
I crawled into bed with my dog who cuddle me closely and we drifted off to a space of nothingness, just for a break from it all.