Allowing YourSELF into Being, Creation Notes

I want to introduce a concept in here. Choosing what you want to experience, AND allowing it to come into being. 

It seems soon/ at some point in the iterations of expansion of Self, we will be able to choose various state of being and move into them without a pause or break in experience. Yet, if you nor I are not "there yet," there's another way, for now.

For example, back in August I felt, for me, a heavy burden holding a year-long lease on an apartment and having to hire a dog sitter in advance of being able to travel freely. 

Without going into the details, I stated that I would like to choose freer way of living without being tied to a home, without being tied to a dog sitter.

Then the fears came in - not having a steady place to live, fearful for my dog's safety and security. Panic ensued to a small degree. 

Then PAUSE, allowing it all to come forth. Fast-forward, or throw the car into reverse, rather, I am sitting here at 2:30 a.m. free to move about the world and my mom volunteering to take my dog at any time, and enjoying a cohesive relationship with her right now. 

Yet in the last six weeks or so of choosing this experience, I had to allow karmic ties to unfold and re-wire, especially surrounding my mom (that was not pretty from the outside - holy crap).

I had to allow fears of being without a home base to surface and dissolve within me - acting all this out physically when I could have allowed it without the heavy lifting.

I allowed more of myself to come in, which is the scariest part of all. The scariness of the perception of alone. The more I let Self in, the more lonely it can feel...which ended up not being my truth, yet was so palpable at the time. 

But often in this allowing and the "scary" stuff that comes in, we say, "oh no, I messed it up," when really everything is coming together to support that beautiful CHOICE you or I made if we just get out of the way!

So often we hit the panic button and try to go back to the old choice that feels so much safer to the limited piece of ourselves - when if we just took a deep breath, allowed all the junk to rise to the surface it would clean itself out to present the choice wrapped in a surprising package for the CHOOSER (you/ me) to claim as a gift from SELF.

Additionally, a lot of us, me included, only take the deep breath or sigh or relief when we reach that sweet spot called being in here.

We "power through" allowing the CHOICE to come to be, and allowing these old stories or fears to come to a sort of resolution or peace can be quite daunting. We put on our headphones and say wake me up when it's all over. 

But what if we chose an experience, and enjoyed the ride of allowing to come into being-ness? What if we allowed this to be the experience of the creator in its creation, allowing the perceived chaos to form into the next iteration of expansion, the next iteration of the expanded self?

Instead of saying, I'll be really fine when all this is taken care of and I come into this new state of awareness or being-ness - what if we were just okay in the ride of allowing that is the vehicle for this chosen state of being?

Bigger picture I sense into the Banyan Tree - the place to be You - a space of being, defined as perpetual becoming. A place of peace with what is. A creation of being within self beyond the noise - not without noise but simply moved beyond it in consciousness. 
A place without fear of the unknown or linear future or decisions based on past experiences. A place where we don't question our motives or more so ourselves and states of consciousness. A place to be in the expanded iteration of SELF. 

What if we enjoyed understanding in full awareness HOW we came to be, not just when we came to be, or what we came to be?

What if we focused on how we created for ourselves and not just on the linear outcome?

Perhaps you and I already are, and simply appreciating it is all that would add that extra icing on top of the cake. 

PERSONAL NOTES

​Another experience I chose for myself, was not needing any energy outside of myself. I wanted to fill myself up from my own cup, not others. 

Then - this is too funny - I began to get upset so to speak about what others thought about me... when really I was creating this perfect space to only 'go on', or to only create from what I felt about myself. The only food I ate would be my on energy, produced from my own consciousness. I made that choice moving forward in expansion. 

For example, traveling in Bled, one person told me about four times in one conversation how tired I looked (I'm not mad at that person on here, it's just a good example). 

I was tired but aren't we all some times. There was a deeper obserservation going on from that person about my state of being - which can only be defined by ME, and without needing to explain myself to anyone else! So I let it go.

Did I really need to tell her why I was tired? Nope! I could see she was thinking "realized beings don't look tired." Anyhow...

Another told me I had changed - from my days of being a full-time Shaumbra (someone heavily tied to an organization called Crimson Circle) and then scoffed at me with disgust and added a few more remarks on my state of being. 
All I could think of was that I had become more ME, yet I did not need to defend myself.

I smiled and said thank you to myself - a perfect opportunity to realize I am indeed running off my own brand of gasoline fuel!

Even on this page, I have people telling me energetically, what I write has become watered down, that I am not this enough or I am too much that. 

I've had people question my decisions - I don't owe you an explanation, you don't owe me one - you being here or not is enough for me. You being You is plenty.

All of this is a little rough around the periphery of my edges of Self, but nothing that would move me from my CHOICE here to be my own fountain of energy, produced from my own consciousness - nothing that would permeate the creation I have chosen for ME.

And yet, there is so much beauty here in the allowing my CHOICE to only fill myself up with more of myself and no one else's praise, or allowing criticism to drain me.

That is a defining characteristic of the Third Circle - you drink-eth from your own cup-eth! 

It is such a nice creation I made...If I were out there on stage, drinking from the praise cup, well, I wouldn't be in here (points to heart) filling myself up - for the first time in Eons - only from my own well of consciousness. 

Side note: If someone chooses to drink from an external energy cup, I can totally understand that experience choice. It's just not mine. More on this later...You can do both...AND.

So in the end, I ask the question, why not after choosing an experience (a creation) cannot we not enjoy the bumps and even sometimes bruises that come with stepping from one state of chosen being to the next? 

If I step back, I can see so much beauty in the human perceived chaos, and I would not want to miss a minute of it. 

Credit where due: I pulled some of this from a Keahak channel of St. Germain. Thank you for bringing into my awareness what was already occurring in the Universe of You (Me). 

In honor of you (and me) AND all is well in all of YOUR (and mine) creations.