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Allowing YourSELF into Being, Creation Notes

10/30/2018

10 Comments

 
Picture
I want to introduce a concept in here. Choosing what you want to experience, AND allowing it to come into being. 

It seems soon/ at some point in the iterations of expansion of Self, we will be able to choose various state of being and move into them without a pause or break in experience. Yet, if you nor I are not "there yet," there's another way, for now.

For example, back in August I felt, for me, a heavy burden holding a year-long lease on an apartment and having to hire a dog sitter in advance of being able to travel freely. 

Without going into the details, I stated that I would like to choose freer way of living without being tied to a home, without being tied to a dog sitter.

Then the fears came in - not having a steady place to live, fearful for my dog's safety and security. Panic ensued to a small degree. 

Then PAUSE, allowing it all to come forth. Fast-forward, or throw the car into reverse, rather, I am sitting here at 2:30 a.m. free to move about the world and my mom volunteering to take my dog at any time, and enjoying a cohesive relationship with her right now. 

Yet in the last six weeks or so of choosing this experience, I had to allow karmic ties to unfold and re-wire, especially surrounding my mom (that was not pretty from the outside - holy crap).

I had to allow fears of being without a home base to surface and dissolve within me - acting all this out physically when I could have allowed it without the heavy lifting.

I allowed more of myself to come in, which is the scariest part of all. The scariness of the perception of alone. The more I let Self in, the more lonely it can feel...which ended up not being my truth, yet was so palpable at the time. 

But often in this allowing and the "scary" stuff that comes in, we say, "oh no, I messed it up," when really everything is coming together to support that beautiful CHOICE you or I made if we just get out of the way!

So often we hit the panic button and try to go back to the old choice that feels so much safer to the limited piece of ourselves - when if we just took a deep breath, allowed all the junk to rise to the surface it would clean itself out to present the choice wrapped in a surprising package for the CHOOSER (you/ me) to claim as a gift from SELF.

Additionally, a lot of us, me included, only take the deep breath or sigh or relief when we reach that sweet spot called being in here.

We "power through" allowing the CHOICE to come to be, and allowing these old stories or fears to come to a sort of resolution or peace can be quite daunting. We put on our headphones and say wake me up when it's all over. 

But what if we chose an experience, and enjoyed the ride of allowing to come into being-ness? What if we allowed this to be the experience of the creator in its creation, allowing the perceived chaos to form into the next iteration of expansion, the next iteration of the expanded self?

Instead of saying, I'll be really fine when all this is taken care of and I come into this new state of awareness or being-ness - what if we were just okay in the ride of allowing that is the vehicle for this chosen state of being?

Bigger picture I sense into the Banyan Tree - the place to be You - a space of being, defined as perpetual becoming. A place of peace with what is. A creation of being within self beyond the noise - not without noise but simply moved beyond it in consciousness. 

A place without fear of the unknown or linear future or decisions based on past experiences. A place where we don't question our motives or more so ourselves and states of consciousness. A place to be in the expanded iteration of SELF. 

What if we enjoyed understanding in full awareness HOW we came to be, not just when we came to be, or what we came to be?

What if we focused on how we created for ourselves and not just on the linear outcome?

Perhaps you and I already are, and simply appreciating it is all that would add that extra icing on top of the cake. 

PERSONAL NOTES

​Another experience I chose for myself, was not needing any energy outside of myself. I wanted to fill myself up from my own cup, not others. 

Then - this is too funny - I began to get upset so to speak about what others thought about me... when really I was creating this perfect space to only 'go on', or to only create from what I felt about myself. The only food I ate would be my on energy, produced from my own consciousness. I made that choice moving forward in expansion. 

For example, traveling in Bled, one person told me about four times in one conversation how tired I looked (I'm not mad at that person on here, it's just a good example). 

I was tired but aren't we all some times. There was a deeper obserservation going on from that person about my state of being - which can only be defined by ME, and without needing to explain myself to anyone else! So I let it go.

Did I really need to tell her why I was tired? Nope! I could see she was thinking "realized beings don't look tired." Anyhow...

Another told me I had changed - from my days of being a full-time Shaumbra (someone heavily tied to an organization called Crimson Circle) and then scoffed at me with disgust and added a few more remarks on my state of being. 

All I could think of was that I had become more ME, yet I did not need to defend myself.

I smiled and said thank you to myself - a perfect opportunity to realize I am indeed running off my own brand of gasoline fuel!

Even on this page, I have people telling me energetically, what I write has become watered down, that I am not this enough or I am too much that. 


I've had people question my decisions - I don't owe you an explanation, you don't owe me one - you being here or not is enough for me. You being You is plenty.

All of this is a little rough around the periphery of my edges of Self, but nothing that would move me from my CHOICE here to be my own fountain of energy, produced from my own consciousness - nothing that would permeate the creation I have chosen for ME.

And yet, there is so much beauty here in the allowing my CHOICE to only fill myself up with more of myself and no one else's praise, or allowing criticism to drain me.


That is a defining characteristic of the Third Circle - you drink-eth from your own cup-eth! 


It is such a nice creation I made...If I were out there on stage, drinking from the praise cup, well, I wouldn't be in here (points to heart) filling myself up - for the first time in Eons - only from my own well of consciousness. 

Side note: If someone chooses to drink from an external energy cup, I can totally understand that experience choice. It's just not mine. More on this later...You can do both...AND.

So in the end, I ask the question, why not after choosing an experience (a creation) cannot we not enjoy the bumps and even sometimes bruises that come with stepping from one state of chosen being to the next? 

If I step back, I can see so much beauty in the human perceived chaos, and I would not want to miss a minute of it. 

Credit where due: I pulled some of this from a Keahak channel of St. Germain. Thank you for bringing into my awareness what was already occurring in the Universe of You (Me). 

In honor of you (and me) AND all is well in all of YOUR (and mine) creations.


10 Comments
Xavi
10/30/2018 04:05:39

Well said Lauren.

I had a glimpse also of feeling the Wisdom and the Beauty of my last experiences, and it was so overwhelming beautiful that my mind rushed to cut off that experience with its chattering.

When the human part or mind stops getting in the way, is when we truly can start to enjoy the experience. And have experience after experience after experience.

Just as a note (not judging you) it is curious that you started to use the "we" in your writing. I am curious about what made you change your mind.

When I gave my speeches in my yoga classes, I used to use the same method because my students felt included in what I talked about and empathized with me and with the experience.
Besides, I put myself at their level and thus they did not idealize me so much, and doing so I had the ability to raise them to my level of awareness.
Consciousness Elevator :P

Reply
Lauren
10/30/2018 11:25:56

I noticed the we too. I questioned it too. Sar'h mainly writing this and she said that at least five or more people including me were doing this, so I let it in. Feel free to disregard or switch pronoun at will. It was more of a channel of the group consciousness - a collective of individual experiences. The elevator! Thanks for sharing the beauty and wisdom:)

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Lindsay
10/30/2018 07:35:20

“The more I let Self in, the more lonely it can feel...”
I very much relate to this. I haven’t heard anyone else talking about it but it’s what I’m experiencing right now. It’s quite the interesting phenomenon. Thanks for helping me feel less alone in the loneliness. :)

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Lauren
10/31/2018 08:03:06

Lindsay, you are not ALONE:P Joanna recently wrote an article called alone and I did some follow up articles last month about that real deep "reason" that feeling gets so palpable. Thanks for stopping by and adding your consciousness - always a treat!

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Guillem
10/30/2018 08:54:32

Yesterday this thought was coming to me. "I am already enlightened, and the only question is how I am allowing myself the awareness of it". That part of me that is BEING, already is/was/will BE, but how do I position myself, my human awareness, in relation to it? Same that you say: "Perhaps you and I already are, and simply appreciating it is all that would add that extra icing on top of the cake." The icing on top is the experience of it, yes. No other thing to do for me. Yes, it feels alone, and I find myself coming back to it as a choice again and again. The only joy is in that choice of coming back to it. Allowing. From this, everything moves on, in whatever ways. First choosing the experience of BEING ME, then... I feel like huge energy structures are moving or yet have to move in me.

Watered down? I don't see this.
​

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Lauren
10/31/2018 08:04:30

Thanks, Guillem, realization being the ultimate choice. And I love how you write it - so nice. Thanks for your comment. I too don't feel watered down, thanks again.

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Maureen
10/30/2018 09:41:00

I, too, can relate to the feeling of loneliness the more I bring me in and the more I choose me and, yes, it is a joy as well as loneliness. A wonderful example of choice Lauren. It really highlighted my current choice.
I recently made a choice to not ‘put up with’ anything anymore. I wrote about it last month regarding housesitting. When I wrote to my friend about housesitting her reply was ‘putting up with is not living’. So true. It appears I am not done with this as it is showing up in my workplace (big surprise – where isn’t it in a workplace). Putting up with others’ behaviours, egos, energy grabbing – so many cords being flung about. I can see how I used to engage with people in a workplace – making sure we were ‘good’ and that they felt good, keeping quiet over something or simply retreating so I didn’t rock the boat etc, etc. So many land mines to navigate and, in the end, none of it ever created safety. Now I see where I am simply to be in myself and shine my light – speak when I feel inclined, retreat when I feel inclined and let the chips fall where they may. Enjoy it? Well, I must say it has been feeling awful – awful when I see/feel my old patterns (aspects) and awful because I have felt under attack by the Consultant. Not by her criticizing me but by her inconsistent and crazy emails and notes in my binders. So time and energy consuming. I realized if I engaged with her by asking her ‘why’ it was simply feeding the insanity so I have taken to just making my notes beside hers and closing the binder. Is there beauty in this situation? Yes, I get a glimpse of it – will likely see more when I feel it less. I do feel curious to see what shows up next after I feel solid in the ‘not putting up with’.


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Lauren
10/31/2018 08:05:49

Amazing choice, Maureen. Thanks so much for sharing it here. "Putting up with" I feel a depth in that i can't quite pick words for yet.

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Karen F
10/30/2018 11:13:44

Lauren, I appreciate your ponderings and reflections. I am letting them dance within my own ocean of experiences and seeing a few parallels. Will allow this to percolate. :)

Reply
Les Montgomery
11/1/2018 08:02:00

I dearly love coming to this page and River to. I come here everyday to check in though I don't always have that much to say. It's like when I come here adore is opened and a fresh breeze blows in and I am refreshed. Sometimes I am perplexed, sometimes confused and it causes me to have more questions for ME. I too have been experiencing this thing, this feeling of alone, for me not necessarily loneliness because I have my lady Karen,, but yet alone. Someone has said that this thing of sovereignty is not for the faint of heart but only for the brave and the courageous and maybe even the crazy ones. Yesterday I had great clarity, about this alone business. I saw myself like a huge octopus with hundreds if not thousands of tentacles going out in every direction. As a human I'm a son I'm a father on the brother I'm an uncle I'm a husband I'm a preacher of a business person and it goes on and on and all of these tentacles go out and touch all the people that I've been involved in my life could be called an identity? These tentacles go out and touch make that connection and we feed from that draw energy from that. And all these people that we connect with they have their tentacles connecting with me and their drawing energy also from me and that's how we have our identity. When we when I decided to step off into sovereignty all of those tentacles began to go snap snap snap disconnect disconnect and once that connections are all finally broken "I'm alone" I feel it. But then on the other hand everyone that I used to be connected to they feel it their tentacles are trying to touch me and reestablish that connection but they cannot there's no connection possible there's no ports like a S U B port that they can plug into,and since they are not having any problems there's nothing wrong with them the problem must be with me I must be mad at them or sold her mind goes, Les has become a snob he's changed he's not the same anymore etc. and it goes on and on. So all of us in sovereignty feel this alone, and I think that it would go so far that we would feel it even if you were to put us all in the same place at one time and we could physically chat with each other and banter back and forth in have fun and enjoy but if we all paused for a second we would feel it...... we are whole and complete unto ourselves having is zero need for anyone or anything. So how do we treat those that we've disconnected from? We just love em send love to them not wanting them to change, honoring their journey, and truly all is well in all of creation. big Gushy hugs to all of you.

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