The Puffer Fish & The I AM
Back in November I was visiting my mom in Corpus Christi, Texas and we went to the Texas State Aquarium. We got up early to see the sharks being fed in a huge tank full of all sorts of fish.
Every now and then a shark would go by and eat a fish we had just been admiring. There was this really cute fish pictured above, and I followed him with my camera through the crowds. I had become quite attached.
Then, a shark swam aggressively towards the fish, ready to eat it. The fish didn't try to run or defend itself. Instead, it appeared to take a deep breath (obviously not, but for story sake) and puffed itself out like a big balloon. I held my breath and screamed, "No, don't eat him!"
The aquarium workers laughed at me.
"He cannot be eaten by the shark when he expands!"
"Wow!" I said. "So cool."
The shark then turned around and went to pick on someone else.
I've been thinking a lot about this lately. Mainly my life in Colorado, which is nothing more than a microcosm of the macrocosm. A small example of Shaumbra/ spiritual community and/or family in a small city but representative of the worldwide phenomenon that is SO MANY people going through enlightenment or realization at once.
It can be so hard and so intense. Things that are small and a normal act, such as the shark going after the puffer fish, can seem to intense when we are going through them.
We become hyper focused - hyper focused on a comment (like being called an enlightenment trust fund baby, or someone saying you have a sexual energy virus) or we become hyper focused on a facebook post or the way someone yells at us at a Should/ community gathering. (Guilty as charged!!!!)
Now, that I am in FREEDOM-land, California instead of Shaumbra-land, Colorado, these events and actions that seemed so huge are now just a tiny speck in the grand scheme of things and I realized a few things in FREEDOM.
First of all, if we make someone the villain (no matter how "wrong" their actions appear to the human), we are making ourselves the victim yet again. If you villain-ize, you victimize. Period.
Second, when someone comes after me like the shark, the easiest and most simple way to remain in my chosen FREEDOM is to EXPAND like the puffer fish.
It happened recently that someone was not happy about something I said/ did...details don't matter.
Before this incidence, I had been talking with Kuthumi about compassion. In an energetic movie screen he showed me compassion is not a touchy, feely emotional thing at all. It is simply staying in your I AM no matter what happens outside the Universe of You.
I realized I don't have to respond. I can understand every reaction - my own and those reactions to me - is about the person having the reaction. There's that freedom again. Its not my job to explain myself. In fact, I don't owe anyone an explanation ever!
So I saw myself - my human self - in the reaction standing in my I AM. I didn't have to mentally radiate or do anything. I only had to be. And in being, I could allow the reaction to simply dissipate. My responsibility on lies within myself. And what goes on outside of it will adjust itself according to my inner state. I don't need to do anything. Only BE.
I looked up a Rumi quote about this and it was so related to all I have shared about my life in Colorado and the subsequent ancestral release from a spiritual/ consciousness/ angelic family I went through as I drove myself to Freedom-land, Colorado.
The quote as been modernized but as such, here it is...
"Half of life is lost in charming others. The other half is lost in going through anxieties caused by others. Leave this play, you have played enough."
While many of us left the human play long ago, the residual of the conscious friend/ family scenario has been hanging on for dear life in some of us - me included! until recently.
On this second trip to Costa Rica -- as you might recall the first trip there in January was all about ancestral freedom from any remaining group, family etc. - with special focus on Atlantis and Shuambra (Yeshua experience and NOW) -- I not only was in the compassionate disconnect from those groups which as also indentities, I moved through the residual too. specifically, the human desire to react and defend - yep, explaining yourself is a defense mechanism and then we get into the villain/ victim shit all over again. Until we say DONE!
I am super grateful for the reaction that came to me the week I was in Costa Rica. So thankful because it brought my human into awareness of what I was establishing in my body of consciousness and how I am relating to my I AM as that relationship has been naturally and easily transfiguring since I claimed my California freedom.
Each opportunity that arises to stay with the I AM is a gift. It's not an attack from the shark swimming by. It's a glorious experience of expanding once again - just like the puffer fish. Ahhhh....feels so damn good!
I Am. Period.
I am just back as of late Saturday night from the Kundalini Yoga retreat in Nosara, Costa Rica.
It was quite an experience in softness and clarity. The days were so simple. An element was chosen and the yoga reflected that relationship with it. For example in one, we grounded with earth and connected with ether (consciousness) and the two met in guess where...THE HEART! It was just like the Yogananda channel I shared some moths back:)
While I do not identify as a yogi other than being in union with the GodSelf/ soul/ I am, I loved the openness of the format and the people. There was no dogma - If there was and I bet there was but I seem to be floating in a bubble in which I can connect with people at the soul level, and the human stuff gets sifted through automatically. Not turning a blind eye, but viewing life through the eyes of the divine (a topic from last fall). I am really feeling my inner state being reflected in the outer state around me. There was also lots of free space to connect with divine wisdom within. ✨
The kundalini yogis end with the Sanskrit - Sat Nam. It means truth is my only identity. Appropriate since I've been exploring identity these past few months - under the Banyan Tree with you all and on my own. Being me, I changed it to wisdom. I AM wisdom is my only identity, and it's no identity at all.
No unconscious roles, just SOUL and maybe an act or two of consciousness!
For years, enlightenment seemed even to take on the form as an identity or role and it seemed only when I left it, when I stopped seeking it, did it find me. I AM .... and no words come after it.
Enlightenment as a role as an identity to chase and conquer is interesting to examine. Like I wrote in my last book - Being is so sweet you don't even want to add the word enlightenment after it because it takes away from the experience. BEING. Ahh.....
And what a treat to have an experience with others while in the sovereign state without the mind wanting to label everything with a duality. Truly expansive to just be in this environment and not have the mind point out hypocrisy, criticize the teacher, bitch about the students and on and on...
Guillem recently wrote on Ryver something along the lines of telling his friend, the mind, to "Mind your own business!"
I love that! How many experiences have been harsh and ruined by the mind, when simply relaxing into what is and being in whatever experience we find ourselves in would be so much more...expansive and fun for the human?
So much more to share but that's more than enough for today. I just caught myself writing another book...
Speaking of which, the first writing seminar is May 15. That one is currently full, but please let me know if you would like to join one - so far Joanna and Momo have expressed interest. I will tailor it to fit the schedules of those interested.
Please try to find an environment free of background noise - sound and energetic noise both.
Please try to be on time as it's a bit distracting for me to start over again. But if you are late, still join please!
Thank you and very much looking forward to it!
Topic: Center of Being - No Agenda Call
Time: May 1, 2018 12:00 PM Pacific Time (US and Canada)
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