Dear friends, readers and contributors,
What an honor it is to know each of you - inimitable souls we all are!
What a jump each of us has made from going to the 'we are all one' mentality to knowing each of us is a whole entire ONE in and of ourselves. Can you hear the sound of the freedom bell ringing? I certainly can.
That leap from the New Age dogma that there is anything to fix, heal, or help outside of ourselves is a big one - to knowing that all radical and conscious shifts incur within the Kingdom of Self, and when we make the leap internal it is reflected in our outer world, too.
In my yogi days, I had a shirt that said "Peace is an inside job" - I'm just now wrapping my spiral of awareness around that cliche - knowing deeply that when we try to manipulate (helping and healing included) energy outside of us, we are ignoring the very change that can be allowed within us - the stuff lasting change is made of and the leap to allowing energy to serve us instead of us being a slave to energy.
I'm back at "work" - in quotes because it's more joy than work - writing my next two books. The first is a sequel to Becoming Sar'h: Book One - which includes my own personal leap from the New Age into the New Energy.
If you are rolling your eyes because you made that leap lifetimes ago, you might appreciate the other book that is in the messy, chaotic editing phase, The Magic of Being, which dives deeply into the embodied realization experience.
In the meantime, I have my real time writing is here on this page. It addresses a wide variety of audiences, and sometimes it's just me talking to ME - out loud. Perhaps you might find a spark within as you read to write and share your own story in any medium available.
Writing these days is a funny thing in the context of the changing tides of consciousness. And I almost put the idea that I would continue to write to bed. As soon as I write something down, a gateway to a deeper awareness roles in, and the content becomes obsolete almost instantly.
I have made a perception shift in knowing I am simply capturing a moment. I can swallow this truth pretty easily because of my past as a newspaper reporter, in which I knew the days after I published an article it would be lining a kitty litter box pretty quickly. And, I'm happy to capture a moment and have it dissolve in a litter box the next day.
Just as I am willing to know what I write has a limited shelf life, I hope you too allow the ease and grace of discarding long-held beLIEfs that once served but no longer do. The snake never stops shedding its skin.
Through this, I am reminded of the impermanence of everything. After all, BEING is the perpetual state of becoming - never static, always dynamic. There is no end and no beginning to our inimitable soul stories beyond the veils of maya.
Cheers to letting it all go as easily as it came!
Right now I am greatly enjoying a Facebook free life. Much more time to play now. I still love personal contact and hearing from my friends - that's you!
I am easing into life in Encinitas, California, and I am part of an all women's surfing posse, hitting the waves with my longboard as often as possible.
Ollie, my dog, loves California life. He'll be eight in September and lost eight pounds since we moved. I'm not the only one happier here. I recently took him to Sequoia National Park. Here's a photo next to one of the magnificent trees!
My partner, Damian, and I recently returned from a trip to England and Wales - a story I will include in Becoming Sar'h: Book Two. I have two upcoming events in Vancouver, BC and Florence, Italy, which are full, but hope to offer more no agenda gatherings in 2019.
Don't be a stranger and thank you always for supporting my writing habit.
If you enjoyed the Thirty Days of Self-Love, please consider writing a review of the book on the Amazon store. I'd love to know how you received the book in your life, as it is my first time using that format.
In deep appreciation and honor of you,
Perhaps its the stifling heat that's causing me to die - yet again. It's a heat that can not even be diffused with air conditioning because it doesn't seem to exist anywhere - literally.
Definitely, not in my California home. The heat even followed me to Wales and England, known for rain and fog and dampness. Still, no air condintioning. The grass burned up beneath my feet as I traversed it's jagged coast.
Each place I stepped my foot, the grass went from salvageable yellow to dead as a doornail brown. My thirst is unquenchable. No amount of water will solve the dryness in my throat. My body aches for water like the trees. I reach up toward the sky like a flower only to burn to ash in the sun's rays.
The scorching, record-breaking heat poured over my twenty-five day trip to return to Avalon and the shores of Wales where I washed up after the fall of Atlantis eons ago. Funny, I have not forgotten after all these long millennia, yet I can hardly remember my own name these days, let alone type this.
The melancholy of the Robert Earl Keen song played in my head, "It's been a long hot summer - and not a drop of rain."
In the heat, it takes all I can just to move my fingers along the key board. I have the fans going. The windows and doors are open. I seek a breeze that does not come.
I think about my dissatisfaction with everything. The seeking human loves a problem to solve. But what happens when you have no problems. Money - plenty there. A partner - yep, he awesome. Health - yep, I'm strikingly healthy despite my deeds.
I really see why people in their realization experience are getting jobs to fill their days. Makes them go by quicker. I don't have to forage for food. I don't have to seek a partner or a friend. I don't have to keep my body in check. There's nothing to do anymore. No solutions needed. Everything is perfect and it's stifling.
As a result, my days are so long. Each minute feels like another year on this Earth. This Earth that doesn't need me for anything. In fact, no one needs me for anything. I created it that way. Total freedom just to be. That was the magic experience I sought, no?
For the last few years, I have been writing about the magic of being. How glorious it is to do nothing. But now that I have the freedom to do nothing. Now that the desire for human experience was extinguished, my desire to pep talk others into enjoying life. I feel everything is done on this planet.
Gaia is leaving. OK. We are supposed to be creating a new earth with our realized friends.
Two years ago this summer, I was told by a master people call Adamus (ML3) to release nature, to release biology. I did not take action but agreed to allow this to take place. And so it has, I am free now from biology and nature.
Sounds so lovely. But the trees and the foot paths across Earth filled me up on days when I felt I couldn't go on. Trying to solve human problems like paying bills, repairing my image on a daily basis, writing uplifting things, sharing my stories; they all took so much time the days passed so quickly.
But I don't have that deep desire to share anymore. I cannot care what people think. There's no need to explain anything.
The words are like the heat; they drain the last drop of moisture from my body.
Paddling out for a surf, the ocean waters say hey, I filled you up for lifetimes. Now you are on your own.
Mother Earth says I got this from here. I don't need you and you don't need me, anymore. This is the sovereignty you desired. Really?
I breathe a lot. Deep conscious breaths. Over and over in time that stretches painfully out like a roll of dough. Yet I have no desire to make bread. I'm not hungry anymore.
I see others creating or building (who cares the difference anymore) things in their lives. Record numbers of realization lifetime beings getting jobs, getting married, enjoying food and wine, enjoying sex, buying houses, moving, traveling. More. More. More. Good for them (genuine notion). Yet, I know none of that is going to fill me up anymore.
What do you do when it's all here?
I've had months in realization. My self-love is unflappable. My bank account is brimming. My partner is perfection for me. My dog is loving and healthy. I am told I am creating something beyond love. I am creating a new earth, but it's not appealing. Right now at least.
I'm not hungry, and that's an odd sensation having been insatiable all my lives.
If I did want anything, it would be a cool breeze, a dark rain cloud to come over my house and let loose.
I want to not sweat for a whole day.
Besides nature being gone as a source of inspiration within me, travel has died a slow death as well. While on my trip to Avalon, which lacked magic in a way I could not fathom, I wrote these notes - and even more died away in the two weeks passed:
Traveling in a space of realization is quite a trip. You aren’t looking for answers. You do not seek resolution or for some magic moment to delight your human...at least not outside of nature...and even that magic is starting to wear off (now it has completely).
Yet, in the midst of chaos, there is always a tree motioning me over to rest my back on its centuries old trunk. Brief relief from the flat earth world mentality. (Now there is not even that!)
As a realized traveler, a walker, a pilgrim with no end destination, you know you’re not going to fully resonate with anything. Nothing is going to match your insides, your guts, your swirls of ever multiplying consciousness.
Walking through Glastonbury today, the pious priests and those desperate for their redemption mingled with new age drunks with dark tans, no t-shirts, and harem pants that would stand up on their own.
Naked babies grasping onto their mother’s dreadlocks, wondering why they did not choose the boring yet stable parent, passed by staring at me through the window pane, asking:
“Is this it? Is this what Earth became?”
Every sign lining the streets promises salvation. Through Jesus, flagellation, tarot card readings, workshops of every variety, hemp — or an organic iced coffee.
St. John the Baptist sits at the bar with Mary Magdalene and they have a good laugh at people looking for King Arthur’s grave site.
“No. It’s here,” points another.
The smell of burnt hope swirling up from the alter boys swinging incense urns mixes with the hippie body odor distinctly new age in nature.
A man or woman - let’s say a person- dressed as Carmen Miranda shakes its narrow hips balancing the plastic, made in China fruit basket on its head, grating behind the priest who holds stoic.
The monk who wears his costume from lives past and waits for people to notice his importance as they pass by. They never do.
Then the message makes sense. Anyone who is a pioneer of consciousness will be invisible to those who are still playing in the systems dressed up in circus tents. There's the religion tent. The new age tent. The marijuana tent. The organic gluten free tent. And on...
“Step right on up, folks. This is the most conscious show on Earth," each ringmaster boasts to the passersby.
I know they cannot even see me. I move through the crowd untouched and unseen. This show is a rerun.
As my internal wisdom comes to the surface with each inhale, I exhale the words.
"You are not jaded; you are conscious. "
AND I'M LEFT WONDERING: HOW DO YOU LIVE ON A HUNGRY PLANET, WHEN YOU HAVE NO APPETITE?
I know some thread of Self will rise to the occasion - to replace nature, to replace my severed devotion to Earth, and the sensuality I found in consumption (food, shopping, energy feeding, exercise....an on....)
But until then, I'm going to the store to buy an air conditioning unit. Maybe I'm just hangry for cool air. At least, my sense of humor remains in tact:)
I found this quote supposedly from Osho (meh!) after I wrote this, and I'm not real sure where it came from only that I did not write it...But it spoke to this....
"The ego (human facet) needs some problems. If you understand this, in the very understanding the mountains become molehills again, and then the molehills disappear. Suddenly there is emptiness, pure emptiness all around. This is what enlightenment is all about - a deep understanding there is no problem."
I would add when the problem/ subsequent creative solution dynamic ceases to exist, an emptiness rolls over your being, in my personal experience. Yet, it fills up again with pure passion for BEING. And that's what it's all about.
You do the hokey pokey, and you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about! :P
The Blooming Flower: Building vs. Creating; Mechanizing conversations with the Master vs. Allowing them to unfold
To archive from a Keahak post on January 5, 2018...
For me, a major part of this embodied enlightenment experience is about surrendering the perceived human control mechanisms and to stepping into divine unfolding of the all that is (me).
Like Tobias said so many years ago, you will want to have both human free will and divine will, but you cannot have both. Just a few short months ago, I felt the last of my perceived human free will dissolve into the Self, the Universe of Me, my body of consciousness.
For me, the space of divine will is the space of creation from no-thing - the Ahmyo life of not being beholden to anyone or anything or even energy. In this space you do not need materials to create. It is the difference between building something with energy and creating in soul expression.
Stick with me for a short story, if you will...
When I was pondering no energy creation (not new energy creation, no energy creation) laying in bed one night, I saw creation as a blooming flower. The seed begins to sprout and the petals unfold one at a time until the flower can no longer hold itself constricted and simply bursts open in bloom.
Adamus in the last keahak brought up talking with the master. It is something I have written about and when I had clients, it was something I taught to hundreds of people.
In the space of divine will, I no longer need to have a "new energy" business to do this. I no longer need a business. At all.
These master - human conversations are also something Adamus introduced a long time ago in the book, Act of Consciousness.
I must say I was compassionately surprised people where not already talking to their master selves or inhabiting them in the body of consciousness since he has spoken so much about it.
I also have a huge compassion for Adamus being so lovingly committed to repeating himself until we all get it. Wow and thank you.
This conversation between the human and the master is so beneficial. However, there is a caveat. What I see with having to mechanize conversations with the human and soul is that it can go two ways or both ways.
It can coax the flower into blooming. It can be the water to the soil and the sun in the sky that supports this divine unfolding. If you allow it to be so.
Yet, if it becomes too mental, too forced - as I have seen in my previous client work for many years - it can be like trying to glue the petals onto the flower mechanically, without allowing it to simply bloom. The application of the materials is always up to the listener, the student, the sovereign. Yet, something to ponder in creations as well.
With compassion and from behind the short wall as I no longer take client work and can really remove myself, I see "masters" trying to build things instead of create things (through soul expression and for soul experience) in the same way.
These "creators" (who are really excellent builders instead) raise funds to buy petals and glue. They say their soul's desire is to have these funds to buy the petals and glue that is needed to create the flower. Really this form of "creation" is the human's way.
It's a conscious creation they say - one they are raising money for. Indeed, they are aware they are creating a flower, but it's fake. It's not really a flower, it's an illusion of a flower.
It is the "master" who still exists within the veils of duality and the idea that energy is needed to create. What does the master creator look like outside of duality, gravity, linear time and space and without needing building materials to manifest. What is the difference between manifestation and creation?
In no energy creation, you take a seed, one that you found while strolling peacefully on a walk. You plant it into the ground and say if it blooms that will be nice, if it doesn't, that will be nice, too. There is no attachment, no begging of the master, no needing to create a fundraiser for your creation.
If it's the divine will of the I AM, to express itself in this blooming flower, the seed will begin to sprout. Each day it will grow a little taller.
As it grows, the master does not feel attached to the outcome at all. It does not listen to or allow the begging and pleading of the human: "If I just had this flower, I will be whole. Please master make this flower bloom."
That's not how it works, and eventually the human surrenders its perceived control to the "All that is" within themSelves. The perceived human control does not even try anymore, It has found its peace in union with the I AM.
One petal in the bud will open under the glowing sun. The master may go on a long hike, gone for weeks, and then walking back down the path the master is surprised to find a fully bloomed rose bush to enjoy. He or she will say: "I had forgotten all about the seed I planted. What a wonderful surprise!"
The master laughs at the beautiful creative expression of Self - one he or she completely forgot about in the state of Being Enlightenment - and then sits down to enjoy his or her creation until it returns, disintegrates back into the soil from which it came.
There is no need anymore to continue to build things. To raise money or charge clients for money to buy the petals and glue for your flowers. In the state of being - which I define as perpetual becoming - something dynamic and not static - the flower simply blooms if it is the will of the I AM. If it doesn't, the master continues BEING enlightenment. And it is a wonderful space to be in with no identity attachments being a conscious creator, who is nothing more than a more sophisticated builder than their fellow humans.
Divine Will is the no energy creation is the ahmyo life is the ONE master and human, speaking with ONE voice.
Good morning, friends! This is a post I wrote for a Keahak forum and thus in their language not necessarily where we are here...
The following image was purchased and licensed - it is a painting of the creation of Adam or God's touch with finger, which is on the ceiling of a church in Thailand (February 28, 2015).
I chose it because you all know deeply the God, also. Looking at the image, for example, I see myself as both the God and the carbonized Adam. The God before it passed through the Wall of Fire to have the experience of a solid existence within the veils of maya.
As defined by Tobias via Crimson Circle, the wall of fire is the expansion of consciousness or knowingness beyond itself; a metaphor for the doorway leading from home into the void. The zone we crossed through going from the first circle of oneness to the second circle - place for human free will to play out among many other experiences. Again, more limited metaphors because it is so hard to grasp the sensation in words.
And then in realization, in embodied enlightenment, to experience the understanding, with a less than one-degree shift of perspective, that I actually never left the wall of fire, and as God, also, I am simply viewing my creation that is realization in this human form, too. More on that another time...
In my awakening and in my human life, I would continually - as a pattern deeply rooted in my gravity and duality laden sphere of awareness - choose experiences over and over again, and then subsequently look for creative solutions to make my way out of them. The cause and effect -- karma -- way of living. And my human self quite enjoyed it, experience junkie that it is.
I remember my twenty-eight year old human self standing at the altar of marriage. I could hear my soul - master self to some - say, "We do not need to go through this - again. You don't have to choose this."
The separation of voices has left but it was quite strong then...
My human stood there, stomping her foot and said, "I will have this experience. I know it will likely end in a divorce, but this is what I am choosing for myself right now."
I was that self aware and yet I chose this path of most resistance - again. But why? Why would I put myself into the proverbial crystal again? Oh yeah, to have the high of getting myself out of it -- once again.
Four years into the marriage, I knew I had to get out of this bind. I was in a horrifically limiting experience. The master self never said I told you so, but I certainly felt it's wisdom.
I called upon my gnost - the creative solution - to pull me from this experience. Oh, and what an experience it was! I created bigger and better this time. Look at me go:P
My ever patient soul, or master self, said, okay - once again. It created a path for me to find a really nice place to live, a high income that did not require a job or effort. And with some tears and grit, I created a doorway to walk through into my freedom.
It seemed so masterly at the time (and it was a path to freedom that served), yet looking back, it was just another loop in the experience and subsequent creative solution pattern to get myself out of it the experience I no longer wanted - again. Sigh.
Yet, once I was in the freedom space, instead of taking a deep breath and simply being in joy, I created more and more experiences to create my way out of.
I'm sure you can relate. Being broke, time and again, to see how, when, and if you pull yourself out of it. Getting into sticky living situations, karmic relationships, health issues...anything to feed the addiction to the experience - creative solution cycle.
In Keahak and the last Shoud, Adamus talked a lot about testing yourself - stop testing yourself and your worthiness. Well, I already had just in the last six months, linear time. But what I didn't understand, what I had not yet embodied, was WHY, WHY now do I stop diving into the pattern of experience and creative solution to free myself from the experience.
That answer, for me, is self-worth, a subtle yet with so much depth caress of self-love in the deepest parts of who I am, an exhaustion from the patterned cycle, and most of all, the ineffable experience knowing I am God, also - an experience that pales in comparison to anything my human could have dreamed up in its highly limited imagination.
Now I know why I stopped the cycle - the addiction to the local linear "Problem - creative solution format" that has been going on for eons and thousands of lifetimes.
The stop to the pattern happened naturally and without analyzation by my human self - it is only in hindsight that I can write about it - I stopped the pattern to experience creation embodied and my deepest desire for what I might describe as a sovereign peace - complete peace in the human form without needing energy from anyone or anything. Sounds so simple, and it is, but the depths of it are infinite.
Pondering it some more, living in human form beyond any suffering is the most radical creation I can fathom. To suffer is human, but if I am creating any last human experience it would be this one. This is the JOY....
As I pondered this in the tomb of awareness - the shower! - I asked my soul, my master self, my human and my I AM (what I am calling the Infinite I with one voice) what it truly desired.
There were no words, but if I had to pick them, they would be peace - not a human type of peace, but the peace that comes from pure joy - the joy of being - without being beholden to anyone or anything or any energy or any tie - also called the ahmyo life. PEACE - freedom from patterns, freedom from experience addiction. PEACE:)
And the magic in all of this is not a tool or trick and definitely not a complicated formula. The magic of being, of creation from being, is that creation flows like a cool coastal breeze on a hot summer's day across the "Infinite I" - the Infinite I being me as one without the multiplicity of parts - human, divine, I exist and so on and so on...
The creation comes in glorious waves to surf in the absolute pure pleasure of knowing I never left the wall of fire. In the divine perspective, I never became fragmented though the repeating experiences of thinking I was not one - yet they had served me so well.
The creation comes from seeing through the eyes of the divine and the eyes of the human simultaneously - the vision of the Infinite I. And, the waves are simply created from the joy of being, radiating from the Infinite I that is free of patterns, that has "recovered" from the experience addiction (another way to grasp at outside energy) and to create from the no thing.
I think about the physical action of swimming. One usually pushes off the wall of the pool or floor of the ocean to get the momentum to start swimming. In human existence, we would create experiences to get the energy flowing, to catapult us into the next experience. In creation, we no longer need the momentum, so we no longer need to collect human experiences. We simply swim in our own sovereign pool of creation.
I wouldn't be me if I did not add a human anecdote, yet I do so with a big ***** the human condition does not matter, when you have moved beyond the human condition. Not in just theory, yet in the space between the cells and radiating to the edges of your infinite consciousness.
In your terms, I have been "benching" a lot. Complete relaxation in the infinite Now, in the infinite Self.
I recently stayed at the Four Seasons - a very posh hotel - for the weekend. I had such a nice experience in self-love there, I simply felt a notion in the depths of me and in total nonchalance softer than a whisper that I should like to do more of that - in between camping expeditions, of course. My monthly income doubled the next week. There you go.
How did I do that, I wondered in hindsight. My wisdom said, "You swiped left."
Swiping left is a urban slang term for saying I am not interested. It took me some days to realize what that meant.
I swiped left on collecting yet another human experience. I swiped right for soul creation. No energy momentum or force needed. Energy serves me with out the need for movement, momentum, or force.
Now, some who might still be in the pattern of experience and creative solution, might lose that money as quickly as it came. In the space of cavernous self love, it simply multiplies. I do not need it. I did not ask my master self for it. I was not in the space of needing or wanting a creative solution to save me from an experience I no longer desired. I was completely in love with my current experience without needing the creative solution out of it.
Nor did I ask my master self for the partner in my life - a sovereign breath of fresh air. Not ever romantic or euphoric like the old karmic (cause and effect) kind, it has always been good. It has always been easy. There has never been a fight or a grab at energy. A steadily sublime experience.
I did not need him just like I did not need a massive bank account. I could have walked this planet with a backpack and few dollars and felt the same - for my depth is now found in the seemingly subtle - delicately complexly simple - rather than the harshness of the addiction to experience and digging your way out of the experience.
No highs (euphoric) and lows (devastated) -- IT IS SIMPLY JOY -- and there is no converse, or flip side of the coin, on that spectrum of awareness and in the state of BEING. Is it time to swipe left? Or continue swiping right to hook up with that next experience fix? Ah, it doesn't matter anyway. In honor of you!
Post script: After writing this post, I started to realize how this ties into the biological body for me. Am I continuing to choose another body experience of needing outside energy, of being not sick but not well either. How can I swipe left on yet another biological body experience and instead, choose creation of the body of beyond? Breathing...
Watching the June shoud with my partner in Poland, I was struck with the service Edith provided for those stuck literally in figuratively in their chairs. As a collective consciousness of beings choosing the embodied enlightenment experience, we often talk of patterns, limits, and moving beyond old beliefs, yet we rarely talk about the most terrifying thing of all - what happens when we move beyond them!
My friend Xanthe made a small comment that sparked a desire, a flame in me to talk about one of the most terrifying things of all - once you break those patterns and beliefs you will not have your "chair" at the party anymore.
Your chair, if you even have one anymore, is way out in what I somewhat jokingly call the Sovniverse. It's a place of true freedom, but also feels like it has no floor, no ceiling, and no relative bearing in the reality from which you perceived yourself while still in the limits.
This knowingness inspired the following post on social media...
" One of the rarely if ever mentioned facets of moving beyond limits of abundance or worth or any flavor of lack, is when you do so you also leave the perceived safety of a group consciousness.
As long as your still “getting there” you still belong to the group “on their way” to something that was never a destination but a way of being.
Without limits and lack, there you are in your sovniverse (sovereign universe of SELF) with nothing but you. Sounds so nice and it is but terrifying to the human to be so out there/ so in here that the group identity dissolves completely."
Someone responded that yes, you could be in the sovniverse AND in the groups and it is so true yet it's also so false, at the same time.
Right now in this experience of realization I find that I can swim into mass consciousness and back out without "losing" myself. Similarly, I can swim into a spiritual/ conscious group and maintain sovereign energy, knowing deeply what is mine and what is not mine.
However, there is a difference. The way I relate to others in groups like the Crimson Circle is completely different. In my lack, in my 'on my way to enlightenment' mentality I used to beLIEve, I felt a certain camaraderie - just like I did with my co-workers when I worked at a non-profit organization.
I do not feel that anymore with my human friends - although I love them and still hang out with them from time to time. But even more so, I do not relate to Shuambra anymore - not in the way I used to.
It's a very similar relationship I have to my singularly human friends and my mother. I love Shaumbra. I appreciate the company and the shared language of consciousness, but I feel no connection other than pure sight (I see you for who you truly are) to Shaumbra anymore. I no longer feel like a Shaumbra though I am deeply involved in the Crimson Council. Hanging out with a lovely human friend or a Shaumbra or my mom -- It's all the same to me.
And in that shift, the deep connection I had to a group - which was such a cool experience that served me so very well - no longer is part of my experience.
Getting there was terrifying at times as the group conscious was my safety net on days of doubt, days I felt like I might die, days I wondered if I had made the whole thing up. Plus, when a community feels you start to withdraw from a group, things can get real ugly.
When you say I don't need this group anymore AND in fact, my soul is deeply calling me to be alone in myself, people who still cling to the group for safety will react. Even when you know it's all about them and not you, it can still be quite unpleasant for the human. Yet, when you cross the Threshold, the fire breathing dragon takes care of it all.
In the soverniverse, you have no security blankets. I felt my human self trying to grab at a net - a safety net from any where - in this free fall. When I didn't find one, I threw my hands up in the air and yelled "whee!" Fuck it. This is what I'm here for. Not for friends, not for a group experience, I am here for ME!
You free fall until you create the bottom for yourself to stand on - or choose not to - allowing yourself to flail in unknown bliss within the GRANDness of our own Being-ness. Or more likely, both and a whole lot more!
In honor of you!
Lauren! Why are you harping so much on sovereignty and excusing yourself from group dynamics?!
Well, I didn't just incarnate here for embodied enlightenment. I came here to experience creation. Without total sovereignty, true creation does not exist. And that's a good thing.
As I wrote in the article, THE COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS OF SELF, there comes a time when it is more that appropriate to tap into your own wisdom, rather than the wisdom of a collective group consciousness. No more archangel families, no more Shaumbra family, no more star families - the age of the sovereign being - the Universe of You - is upon us.
Like I shared in this VIDEO of moving beyond the Atlantean implant - thinking you need to do anything as a group or be concerned about a group - and finding yourself with your fellow sovereign beings hanging out under the BANYAN TREE, or wherever feels good to you - then and only then can you become the true CREATOR embodied.
Why? Because you do not want to create from the group wisdom. Damn, did we try, especially in Atlantis...To be a true creator, one must stand on their own sovereign ground. One must know exactly what is their wisdom, discerning with a supreme precision what is theirs and what is not theirs. Without that sovereignty, without that discernment, your creations will not be your own, and it is likely that they will not be pleasant.
You can create on your own, of course, and there is the free space under the Banyan Tree where your creation abilities will be honored as sovereign and supported by the ascended and embodied masters who gather there - not to teach anything - but to sovereignly support you in complete honor of this amazing lifetime you created for yourself.
You can also read my CONSCIOUS CREATION MANIFESTO - from the Thirty Days of Self-Love. Maybe you want to write your own and share it here as well.
I posted this somewhat funny video on my private Third Circle page on March 8th but decided to share it publicly after seeing that many people understood what I was sharing. I was not strung up by my toenails and instead people really related.
Later someone send me a message that said Tobias via Crimson Circle also said that the Atlantean lifetime was the hardest aspect to integrate. I share that text here but had not read it when I made the video. http://gejirin.com/spirit/SPR_src/T/Temples_of_Tien.htm
Notes from the video...
AND - the most important things to add....
The more people in the third circle space/ under the Banyan Tree = the easier it is for people to get out of the molasses loop. In physics - the tipping point. Using gravity in our creative favor as more consciousness sits outside the molasses loop - something I wrote about in my new book.
Finally, until you find yourself outside of the group consciousness that is the molasses loop, you will not be able to experience true creation in your realized state. One must stand on their own sovereign ground - free of group identity or any identity really - to step into the Third Circle of creation. And to me, that's the best news ever.
Related article: The Collective Consciousness of Self
Photo from National Geographic
It was 8:35 a.m. on Sunday morning. Still drunk from last night, I was smoking a cigarette and drinking coffee on a corner of street in the New Orleans garden district.
The night before my friends and I had stumbled upon a 1920s style jazz band and stayed up into the wee hours of the morning drinking Sazarac and sour beers with our new best friends whose names we wouldn’t remember in the morning.
The sky was open, the air fresh and breezy – a breeze that would give way to an oppressive heat that would strike the city come June and not lift again until October.
I had checked Facebook and someone had mentioned there was a Shoud Saturday. Another was reporting on the latest human junk from the Crimson Circle Control Center. I deleted my Facebook page right then – not because I was upset, but because I found I could no longer care about such nonsense anymore. It was robbing me of my experience right here, right now.
I realized in that moment just how far I had expanded in the few years as these experiences no longer appealed to me. Enlightenment does not occur in a proverbial seat in front of a channel. It occurs on the New Orleans street corner the morning after a wild weekend with you girlfriends.
It does not occur in the seat of the student, but in living life as realization naturally unfolds while you’re having fun. The workshops and channels were just an experience to have, not one I desired, or felt passionate about anymore.
With the breeze blowing through my hair, I realized the only thing I had been seeking in these six short years of self-discovery was freedom, and I did not need to pay or listen to anyone else to claim it. The groups that were once so awe inspiring and expansive now appeared so limited and strangled I’m not sure how my shine had survived.
I AM. FREEDOM. I breathed with the New Orleans wind. As I mouthed the words, St. Germain showed up. He had a clip board in his hand and checked me off the list. Check, he motioned, and smiled.
“Who are you, fucking Santa?” I asked. And then we laughed. It’s not so much he dismissed me, but I dismissed myself.
I sensed he would not be back again for some time and that whatever soul agreement I had there was done. Every concept I helped write had made it into the materials published for anyone else to seek and find should they need it.
The dichotomy that exists between human control systems (organizations) and realization, free consciousness was now in the awareness of enough members that I did not need to push it anymore. The duty, the service, the legacy was complete. And now I can just live – no longer hyper focused on the realization out there, but the one I found, through naturally unfolding experience in here.
What seemed like a huge ocean to explore, was now a pond that was too small for my ship. I watched the ocean of consciousness-related groups shrink into the puddle of rainwater that pooled in the cobble stone street before me.
Into what ocean would we set sail next? All of them. I saw the experience Yogananda was showing me before I left Colorado once again. In this experience, there was a movie screen projected on my ceiling, with each swipe of the hand I switched into a new reality.
In the awake, experience, Yogananda was showing me what there was to play with – what there was to create and the opportunity to step into the creations and have that experience.
As St. Germain left, I was not wondering what I will do next. Instead, I was wondering how the hell I was going to fit it all into this last human life. No time to waste in the very small ponds, like Facebook groups and seats before a channel.
Speaking of which, Ryver will exist through March of next year. I enjoy your shares there, and I enjoy our conference calls, too, but I do not feel it will continue beyond March unless one of you takes the reigns to create it. I'd love to step aside and see someone take on the facilitator/ coordinator role, if its appropriate. It will naturally unfold...
I look forward to meeting in Vancouver and Italy. When I sense into the Banyan Tree and that creation, I see the energies forming to support that, and all I need to do is watch it unfold. It already exists. And, I will be there to greet you, whenever you visit. I am always there - enjoying my creation - our creation.
I will finish my Sar’h books as I promised myself, to write the story of my realization, which always comes to the same conclusion - realizing I never needed any teacher at all and that my soul was there allowing everything to unfold in perfection.
I see my creations extending so far beyond that one. The hyper-focus on realization/ enlightenment/ blah blah blah - what once seemed like commitment – now feels like the easiest way to limit yourself in this very special lifetime. Don’t waste it, my soul says.
Realization, ascended master worlds – all of that is simply a tiny facet of the radiating diamond that is you. It is my wish to explore that for myself and an invitation for you as well.
St. Germain once said everything is about enlightenment. I will add when you get there, nothing is. Thank you all for being here, sharing your sovereign journey, it’s been one wild ass ride.
If you signed up for the writing workshop, don’t forget to join us on May 15. Big love. Big Life.
When we had our awakening, how disturbing was it to realize we were operating in the collective human consciousness (mass consciousness). To know we were being governed by the arbitrary rules, dreamed up by the humans surrounding us. Rules and societal norms that made no sense to the soul and came from the linear, dualistic mind.
Then, in the experience of moving from awake to realized, that yet again we were being governed by a collective spiritual consciousness. In the spiritual world, we were given another set of rules and imperatives for living -- by yet another external source.
For many of us here, we traded the collective human consciousness for the collective shaumbra consciousness, or the collective (insert spiritual/ consciousness group here) consciousness, only to find that we had traded one set of government for another.
We were given what seemed to be a check list - sexual energy schools, ancestral freedom, light body, 'no more' lists... It's almost as if someone gave us a linear checklist to enlightenment.
Yet, as much as our human wanted to have a mental checklist, I have found for me personally those checklists actually occur in a "spiral of awareness".
We do not visit concepts just once and check them off our lists. We visit and re-visit things like karma, energy, and creation, many times as a human embodied, moving and expanding deeper and deeper down the spiral of awareness.
That's why I always laugh when someone says been there, done that - it implies linearity - enlightenment is not a linear checklist - AND on such occasions when I did say this, I always ate my words - always. Even after realization, you visit such concepts and find a deeper understanding of them in your newfound state of awareness. Every minute of every day.
That is until, we reach the glass ceiling on group enlightenment and then we must go forth on our own. In realization, you have no checklists, or rules written by the collective.
Instead, you may find yourself in the collective consciousness of the expanded SELF. Everything that comes into your awareness is a reflection of SELF and creations of SELF, rather than a reflection of the group consciousness that surrounds you. The Universe(s) of YOU.
In realization, it all becomes very clear - discernment is instant - on what it yours and what belongs to the group consciousness - one that has taken on a life of its own.
Yogananda once wrote something along the lines of ... there is no hindrance to realization except for an un-adventurous soul.
I find myself accepting an invitation from my soul to explore beyond the collective shaumbra/ spiritual group consciousness, and to be in life, but not attached to life. To really live life beyond the limits of a collective group consciousness.
For some that may mean, exploring other teachers. Please note I have retired my teacher role, yet I am happily detached from having an opinion on others playing that role. In time, even that role integrates into the one that is SELF.
For others, that means exploring other realities. For me, I am playing in the world of Atlantis for a fiction book I am writing.
Many of you are exploring being in the human world and not of it. Holding job positions in which you explore in mass consciousness - in it and not of it. (This is so cool to me, by the way!)
In the end, this post is just to say there is so much more out there beyond the group consciousness which warmly supported you for so long - like a womb - and in your new formed state of awareness, why not explore what lies beyond its borders. Exploring the Universe(s) of You beyond the facet that is shaumbra, beyond the facet that is group identity or spiritual families (Archangel families, for example).
It's important for me to state the following. I do not care what groups you play in. It matters not to me if you seek help from teachers out there, or if you play teacher for others. That's totally okay - of course it is. Everything is appropriate. And you will realize so soon, how silly all that was, and money would have been better spent on an adventure of SELF.
However, this place offers a different experience if you choose. A place to BE and to radiate. If you come here looking for answers from outside yourself, the tree will always knock you back out. I tend to agree with Adamus on this one - quit thinking there is anything outside of you that has the answers to your questions. Soon there will be no questions, only adventures of SELF.
I look back to my recent past. Writing a book, offering sessions - people put you on a pedestal. Then you are supposed be some sort of angel without human quirks. You are supposed to love everyone and never say anything in opposition. I'm here to tell you in realization there are no pedestals.
Somewhere on the path to enlightenment, I lost my spiritual ambition. I realized everyone was already realized, and I had nothing new to offer.
I saw time is not linear so everyone has already reached there realization on some plane of existence. If you attempt to elevate yourself, you will get knocked down. If you elevate another, they will do just about anything to be relieved of the pressure you put on them. You will realize they only wanted to walk beside you for a time, not be held up in praise.
It's all so human, these concepts. When you come under the Banyan Tree, leave all that behind please. You can play those games somewhere else.
Really sense into that teacher/ student role. Sense into enlightened vs. not enlightened dualistic concepts. When I see each of you, I see all of you in your aligned states - beyond linear time. I see you the realized being as I see myself the realized being with no distinction.
I see you do not need to learn anything else - and certainly not from me. I see that soon, your human self will catch up and know it was realized all along and that it happened naturally without all the other stuff. You have already taken enough courses for the rest of your human existence. If you do continue, go for the experience rather than the acquisition. Your soul says we have acquired enough buried treasure in foreign lands. It's time to become aware of our own wisdom. To uncover the buried treasure within.
Then sense into the Banyan Tree where we all float sovereignly - uniquely embodied in whatever form we choose at the given moment. A place to share the treasures of your soul with other grand beings such as yourself.
If you come here to share your heart aches and your troubles and perceived limitations AND then share how you walked out of them, you will find an audience of witness. If you come here to share your joy, you will have the joy reflected back infinitely. I cannot think of another place I'd like to hang out in more.
For those not on Ryver, you are missing a hell of discussion that is so far beyond the collective (insert spiritual group) consciousness, it will make your head spin.
In honor of your unique soul experience! Go beyond the collective consciousness and into the vastness of your own awareness. Then come hang out under the Banyan Tree and share with us, if it is your will.
PS If someone looks like a used car salesman of spiritual enlightenment, they are probably selling you a lemon. Your soul has no lemons for sale. Only wisdom that is tailored to you and you alone. Wisdom that is not for sale!
Originally published on October 26, 2017....
I'm writing to you from the tiny town of Dixon, New Mexico. Fall abounds, and the changing leaves are the perfect backdrop for the DIVINE WILL experience, which has been flowing through the corners of my consciousness the last few months.
When I first heard about moving from human free will into what El Morya called 'being a vessel for the Will of God' - described in my first book, Becoming Sar'h - I wasn't sure what it meant for my human life. Four years later, and on my last trip to Asia, it finally sunk into to the thickness of my human skin what he meant.
Moving from FREE WILL into DIVINE WILL entails giving up one form of sovereignty and taking up another - super sovereignty. When I first began to sense this shift within me, my friend, Karen, sent me the following quote from Tobias*.
"It will be challenging. You will want to keep both your free will and your divine will. You will want the wonderful attributes of free will while you take on the new divine will. We are here to tell you that it does not work that way. One must be released before the other can be experienced."
Leaving free will and taking up divine will also meant leaving NEW ENERGY creation (creating with energy + awareness) and taking up NO ENERGY creation, instead. Something I will cover extensively here in this new magical venue. This is one of the many reasons I have abandoned my old website. It simply no longer fits my personal experiences.
Like anything else in the self-realization experience, wisdom serves its purpose, and then it must be disintegrated with as much grace as it was received. What was I to do with this body of work on New Energy Creator? Simply walk away. It is and was that easy.
My friend, Xavi, told me a story recently. After teaching thousands of people for more than thirty years, Yogi Bhajan, being in his last days of life, gave a lecture in which he told his students to forget everything he had taught. Though not as dramatic, I feel that way about my New Energy Creator offerings, and I’m sure in some time I will feel that way about this project as well.
On the note of allowing things once integrated to disintegrate with grace, as I was saying, the autumnal season has been the perfect backdrop for such a self-realization occasion.
In the ever-present cycle of life, the leaves turn a fiery orange upon the curtain of azure sky, shortly before the angel of death appears, gently leading them back to Source - the earth below which created them, and the earth which will cradle them in decay before the time of rebirth.
It is in this space that I found myself standing outside the illusion of time. And, as the experiences occurred outside of the ticks of the clock, the following is written in present tense to denote its absence...
As Ollie, my dog, and I drive down the winding, gravel mountain pass in early afternoon light, I watch the sparkling Rio Grande flow steady below. The canyon carved by its weaving waters, allows us to pass with grace to our destination.
I observe the landscape with all my visions - human and divine. With human eyes, I see without the river, there would be no safe passage to the other side. There would be no path carved into the crystalline mountain, which bends only to the wisdom of the river, and never to the will of human drive.
With divine perception, I see I too am carving a canyon through the dense mountain pass that was my humanity, with only the flowing river of my soul's wisdom and without the rigid determination, which has marked my human path for eons of time.
The Rio Grande, essential for this land’s existence, further represents a perfect reflection of my soul’s irreversible flow returning to Self, the Self I left behind when I crossed the Wall of Fire and into the human experience for the first time.
As I drive across the grand river, I embrace the the fire. I know I will not get burned this time. The waters of the ice cold mountain river keep me cool in its wrath. And I know now, what I am reclaiming has always been mine and mine alone to retrieve - my divinity.
In that moment on the bridge, I reach through the wall of fire, reclaiming my divine right, to be human and God, combined. I bring it over to the physical side of existence. I stare in the face of fire with a smile.
I whisper without force,“It’s been a while, my friend.”
As the sun melted into the horizon, speckled with the trees of the apple orchard before my human eyes, I see with the eyes of God, I too am weaving a path back to Source through the sacred art of surrender.
“This experience is too personal, too sacred to share with anyone," my soul whispered in warning as I began to sweep into a deep sleep, feeling the divine will spread over me.
Inhale. I sense divine will as a blanket of blackness, which has enveloped me at sunset and only let up with the rise of the sun, with each turn of the day, spanning the past few weeks. Exhale.
Inhale. Once feared, I endear the darkness now. No where to go. Nothing to do. Paralyzed in the pitch black space, I can only BE. I can rest for the first time in eons, surrendering to the Source that flows within. Exhale.
I find I am relaxed, breathing deeply and steadily, in the void - yet I notice my heart beats a million times per minute as I succumb to the black hole enveloping me once again.
As I enter the now familiar state, my heart's rhythm slows to a regular beat. We. Are. Safe. I breathe the words in one at a time.
Then my soul senses my human desire to paint the picture of this ineffable experience in words. Yet, I do not know if it is possible to capture such a thing on paper.
“Once you place the firefly in the glass jar, it can only glow a few moments before it too is visited by the angel of death,” she whispered in return.
The curiosity continues, and I wonder if my immanence** can be captured by words, or if would it catapult me straight back into the density of human experience at first attempt.
Not being able to hold onto a thought for more than a second, it vanishes into the vortex of the Will of God that now surrounds every corner of my consciousness. What returns is a notion, a nudge of wisdom from within.
"Let me sing a song, instead," I say to soul and to Source in the universal language of images and sensations, rather than in words.
"Let me sing the song of love - the love that exists beyond the veils of maya. Let me sing the song of coming home to Self. Let me sing of its splendor.”
The answer comes from Source and soul in a literal sparkle of light that flashes in the dark room. I see it with through the eyes of the human and through the eyes of the divine, which I sense resting both in my forehead and at the crown of my head.
Source (of Self) seems to open the gates of permission with careful instructions on the hows and the whys of what I offer in my writing. And, I know I must walk the tight rope with both the wisdom of human experience and my newly discovered divinity with a balance relegated to circus performers alone.
As always, those will eyes will see; those with ears will hear - in the spaces between the words.
"We have done this before," soul and source sing as one. "It's nothing new. Only the stage has changed."
"Thank you." I mouth the words without sound. I feel a space in my chest open as the river of my soul's wisdom carves a canyon deeply through my collar bone and into heart.
I wonder if I am dying for a brief moment. And then I know I am. Again.
Even Later. Or before, perhaps. Well, both.
For years, at the human level, I did not think or know God/ Source/ Spirit existed beyond the borders of my own soul. I moved from the concept of an external God so long ago. Indeed, I was the only God I knew - blinded completely by the radiance of my own soul, and what a magnificent experience that was - free will to create with awareness at the will and whim of no one other than myself!
Yet, in the fog of the familiar human amnesia, I forgot that in my soul, Source flowed, too. I only needed to dip my toes into its crystal cool waters. In the end, the consistent push of the human will was never any match - at all - to the sweet nectar of divine will. And, like anything else, my decision was not a choice, but a passion that raged in my soul, instead.
Through my divine eye, I place my bare feet into the liquid gold of the Rio Grande, a reflection from the sun above, and I remember who I am. I realize how I forgot, in my human free will experience, that Source, too, existed.
We are but one and the same, soul and Source. And, we are but two sovereign points spiraling on an infinity symbol, meeting in the middle and separating on the extremities.
What a generous gift to have received - free will with endless possibilities - a gift I enjoyed immensely. I feel the gratitude for the experience, honor it, and let it float with the decaying leaves down the Rio Grande.
Before I reached this trailhead of my own divinity, I stood upon the threshold of my humanity - the trailhead of forgiveness. I allowed the dragon, which guards it’s gates, to breathe the fires of forgiveness into every corner of the edges of the universe of me, igniting and destroying any perceived wrong doing from every lifetime and in between. The greatest of all shames, too, was incinerated - the shame of being human.
In the tsunami of fire, I embraced my human nature. I allowed myself to be an animal, chasing its desires with reckless abandon. Yet, in this self-given freedom, and with every path that lay open before me, I now chose God - flowing from within me and in unison with the soul's river of wisdom. And, in the end, like anything else, it was never a choice, but a passion that would create the path forward.
In knowing the threshold of forgiveness is marked by the element of fire, and our humanity is marked by the element of earth. Then, crossing the threshold of divine will is marked by the elements of water and air. If you have the will to follow blindly the flow of your soul’s river of wisdom, the vision of both God and human will come to light. Then and only then the opportunity to fly presents itself.
“Will we jump from the mountain top? Is that how we will soar?” my human asked.
“No, my friend, with our breath we defy gravity and levitate under the canopy of the majestic Banyan Tree, among those who know and those who see. The tree under which you have been floating all along,” Sar'h replies.
Inhale. The two points spiraling along the infinity symbol meet in the middle, once again. They are the merging of human and divine. And now, they are the merging of Soul and Source. And, when either or both of the two connect, they create LOVE. And, it is felt anywhere a spark of consciousness exists, waiting to ignite the divine flame of realization in anyone who seeks it with their soul. Exhale.
Song Suggestion: September Song by Agnes Obel
*Quote is from The Creator Series, available for free from the Crimson Circle HERE. (In Gratitude)
**Immanence refers to the metaphysical concept of divine presence in which the divine encompasses or is manifested in the material world. In other words, humanizing divinity.
Lauren (Sar'h) writes adventure novels and short stories about the embodied enlightenment experience. She fancies herself a humanizing divinity journalist and DJ, and shares that work joyously on this page.