This could also be called an experience in going beyond the singularity of the human vs. master (here on this website we use soul) dialogue, but I ran this one on CC forums so I'll use that language.
I would love to hear about your unqiue experiences too, please, below. Thank you.
So much of the dialgue out there in the CC-verse has been about the little limited human and the wise master and the dialgue between the two AND I think it is an amazing and necssary part/ experience of the realization experience, yet it has its limits. A shelf life if you will, as does everything.
A while back now, I felt my humanity weave itself into the Tapestry of Self.
That doesn't mean I am so done or graduated - I think that never happens and we are always in a state of perpetual becoming, yet soon it comes from an integrated space of human and divine combined, not human vs divine.
What it did mean to weave my humanity into the fabric of me? It meant an end to the human/ master discussions and conversations that had been going on for years or probably lifetimes. Served so well...then nah....
Here's an example: I had something come up to 'integrate' recently that I am calling my angelic council part of myself.
She was always in some sort of meeting "out there" - always concerned with the state of affiars, and her contributions to these councils, that shall remain un-named. These council meetings were in my dreams and my waking life until I said, I'm just not interested in that anymore. No, thanks, feels old. Angelic council.....meh....
Then it naturally occured to allow this part in - but it felt different from as aspect integration - like the one where a peice of you comes into the oversoul that putting itself back together again.
Nope -- this time I expanded self out to include (not bring in) this "angelic council" part into embodiment. I was quite surprised when I realized 'angelic council facet' had never been embodied on Earth and had been in an angelic council meeting for the duration. No wonder she was ready to be done. Let's just relax on a beach now, please:)
In this expansion to bring in angelic council lady, there were many tears. It felt as if my I AM was crying, not my humanity, and at the same time completely enjoying NEW-ness within itself, here embodied for the first time on Earth - wow!.
Side note - with her here embodied on Earth for the first time, I have this wildly brilliant and fun childlike innocence - everything is just so freaking cool when I allow that experience to flow through.
And, also coming up, some fears of losing myself entirely (only physically, not ceasing to exist) came up too, but they flowed in gently and flowed back out gently because they had no place to land. Sand that slides through my fingers.
Another way to say it, I expanded so much I felt like I might cease to exist in physical form, and then I let go of the tie to physical form, and instead I became even more physically embodied - I love a good paradox!
YET, I want to tell you there was NO SUFFERING involved in it, only SENSUALITY.
It was such an amazingly sensual process to expand myself into bringing this amazing facet of myself into this physical form - With the tears and how deeply I sensed myself. So many layers and streams of consciousness flowing through my embodiment. Yowza!
I was both crying tears of all the old wounds (firmly knowing they were not mine anymore, but the sensuality of the tears of release - yessssss) AND the experience was completely orgasmic in knowing myself in an even deeper way. Embodying more of me. That is always the absolute best; it is the singular passion for living for me right now.
Who am I outside of past, present, and future? It is my Creation! Sublimely fantastic.
Something stood out in all of it, too...There wasn't some "limited human" and "master" in a dialogue about what was going on. It was an explosion of Self, a grand display in the cosmos that make up the Universes of ME, and it was beyond beautiful, without time, and without the scale that gravity tends to provide us. It was completely natural, and because it was natural, it was without suffering.
Now that may piss some people off to say I no longer suffer and to say it out loud, too -- and then I am tempted to remind you of my intense suffering but that's so ridiculous - in this new state of being you no longer view all that as suffering when you "look back" --, OR those who still find themselves in the suffering cycle may say, hey it's nice to hear from someone that it does end. It does end! It has been a solid year.
And we'll see it unfold, right? If it shows back up, I'll tell you.
For me, realization is not limited to, but includes the end of this suffering that most of us have clung so tightly too. I think maybe it is because we associate suffering with living - at the cellular level.
Physical life IS suffering. So deep within the depths of our being we feel (even though we know it's utter bullshit) that if we let go of suffering, we will cease to exist. It's primal.
Or perhaps, there is another hang up that allows someone to move beyond suffering as soon as they become aware of it. For that's all it takes, a tiny glimpse of awareness re-writes the whole experience in embodied form.
It now happens daily or multiple times a day. A tiny drop of awareness, and I have become new again. and again. and again....
How do I write this/ finding words....what am I trying to share???
After a certain level, or stream, rather, of consciousness flowed into me -- not out there surface level but in embodied form - spiraled and all -- last year, around this exact linear time, something switched in the world of human suffering for me.
First of all, I do not feel I have a little, petulant human to describe, to blame for everything. So much of the talk "out there" on the forums is the little human and its rediculous-ness and how it is to blame for everything. Stupid human. Limited human. Master vs human. Fight within. Struggle within. If its hard, it means I am accomplishing something towards enlightenment. Bullshit!
And I get it, because I wrote those posts on those forums, and man, I got a lot of likes on them. I really thought I was having this suffering experience, yet in hindsight I was playing out the role of it for some sort of experience that I was actually enjoying! and saying it was miserable instead (enjoying the misery loves company to some degree too!) and I don't need to do that anymore.
It's a certain perception shift that I received internally and in expansion of Self from moving from warm, shallow water of a group and the camaraderie there to the bottom-less ocean of "way the fuck out there" - even your "way out there friends," say hey, bitch you are too far out there. Yep, and I'm more ME for it. Ahhhh....hahaha.....:P
Instead in this go round of 'expansional integration', my glorious and deeply loved human part of myself - my humanity - is and was enveloped in the fold of Self that is me.
It is not a separate piece of myself (and never will be again) that I beat up and view as a rebellious teenager or a crying child. Get's old, no?
Though, I know that part and I so understand how painful it feels at the time. I really do. I remember - only when I'm writing and need to to be sensitive to others. (How am I doing on that? - eek and shoulder shrug)
I say this because when something flips upside down you truly view the "past" as never having suffered though it felt so real at the time. It takes a twinge of perception to go back in that suffering perception.
Instead, my humanity is so intervoven in the fabric of myself I cannot distinguish it from the I AM, from my divinity.
WELP - That's the definition of New Energy right there, integration of all duality including human and divine -- and the weirdest word of all - the master - so strange in this space to separate something out and give it a title.
Ahhh...weird....master.....Adamus said in the shoud master is just a word for wisdom, that helped; I still dislike the word. It feels heavy and not nearly playful enough!!!!
In sum, the delineation between human and master was a great tool to begin communication between the two -- and about one million other pieces and parts that you likely don't wan to entertain until they become a symphony of Self -- yet as long as they are kept separate there will always be a struggle.
.... peace for a while, co-exietence, battle mode, back and forth, and ahhh...allowing the great divine convergence...
I'll go Buddha bullshit on you. It's so basic yet to really go multiple in it, feels so good. Like melting a marshmallow on a stick in the fire - s'mores. MMMMM.....
Suffering comes from the perception of separation. Separation is an illusion.
When you realize you're already realized....you realize, there was never any separation at all between human and divine.
Yet, what an experience to move from delineation into wholeness. Truly radical. Actual rebellion. Grace.
Reversing yourself back into your natural state - realizing you never crossed the Wall of Fire.....
Booo - its all just words until it happens, bubbles floating throughout you like popping a champagne cork.
The two "sections" (human and divine) will merge naturally on their own, in divine timing for the person involved, for sure!, especially when they declare themselves ready. And then preferably forget about it:) I did. That amnesia serves too.
However, as long as the language -- language creates -- focuses on master vs. limited human, suffering will always be present as you duke it out internally, instead of allowing these many (infinite, even) amount of threads weave themselves into a seamless tapestry of Self.
The Seamless Tapestry of Self woven into the Infinite Expression of You Embodied. Holy Wow!
So beautiful. I cannot wait to see what you all weave into your tapestry, or what you have woven already -- beyond any sense of time.
In honor of you. Thanks for allowing me the space to bring it into words, albeit a bit shakey. Made a little graphic with some senses in it for fun:P Why not?
I absolutely cannot edit my own stuff or worry about perfection, so thanks for taking my typos with ease.
Saturday, Adamus announced the beginning of the Emergence series of channels at the monthly webcast. I totally forgot about it, yet had the sense that I was needing to tune into something. That I was missing something. Then a friend texted that he was watching the monthly webcast, so I tuned in.
I was so deeply and profoundly touched by Adamus’ words in the opening statements at the core of my being and deep within my chest, a space behind my heart, I decided to transcribe them here. ADAM-US is after all a collective consciousness and to hear the words reflected back to you of something you experienced is near indescribable.
Last month or so I had a chat with Adamus about this topic. I know I am not the only one. There are some I know in physical and some I do not know yet. And, I have found when I take something up with this consciousness, if it comes from the deepest space inside me, it will make it into the materials. Not the screaming, unbalanced human being I was in the past, but the living breathing being who is saying hey, this might be helpful and I know because I am living it. Things might have changed since your last Earthly visit.
Looking back – so much easier in hindsight – the realization experience, which really feels almost like a reversal into what already existed - through the eyes of the human and divine combined, started sometime around the fall of last year.
In October of last year, I had the ineffable experience in vivid color and without words the direct experience of knowing, being, experiencing the I AM GOD, also. I don’t even think I can write any more than the one article I wrote. That’s likely all I will ever write about it. It was too personal and too – well, too sacred for lack of a better word – to share.
Another wave of realization rolled through my being in January, a release of guilt, shame, fear, remorse, clinging of the Atlantean dream, disaster, programming, etc. I know we are all unique but FOR ME it was the needle in the haystack – buried so deep and so hidden – the last thread that kept me from the realized state. It was the one thread of crap I held onto all this time that kept me from my realization. It was right there in front of my face the whole time. Once I saw it, it unraveled before my eyes - in high definition, high speed rewind.
Shortly thereafter, my home sold in Colorado and the series of unfortunate or very fortunate events – depending on perception – began to unfold as a left Colorado, which more felt like being kicked out – by an angry mob that bled into my social media experience. There really was no point to be on there for me anymore with this space.
What was that experience? What was it really about? I have asked so many times only to shelve it for later. I simply could not put my finger one what that experience really was. Why I was so sad, why I still am sometimes.
Since leaving, I’ve had a few doubts that only reminded me to trust myself. Was I delusional? Did I make this realization experience up? Are these people who have cast me out right about me? I know you can relate - those in their free states now.
Yes, in realization you are still a human being with human attributes. You don't turn into super man or super woman. You almost become even more human in a way. (I'm so glad some of you let me know this. Thank you. I am passing the wisdom on.)
The answers undeniable and completely personal - you are the only one who will really truly know - undeniably. The dawn was upon me AND it was nothing I could imagine. It was more than I hoped it would be and less than I hoped it would be in many ways.
I’ll tell you why I am choosing to write this below.
I knew who I was and what I was and was not, and it didn’t matter what anyone or anybody else thought, said or did. It was my realization. And, it was beautifully mine and mine alone. I needed to be alone too.
Now to the channel...
ADAMUS in the August 2018 shoud (paraphrased as I am not a good typist):
“Is everyone going to go through (realization in the CC)?....Yes, sooner or later…. Some of you are going to take your time. You’ll go through in the slipstream. Some are going to go fast because you’re just so damn ready. Others will go in their slip stream. It’s not a race and there is no award for those who get there first...
(On those realized) You’re not going to be beating your chest about it….It’s such a personal beautiful quiet thing. It’s so personal…. You are not going to be bragging. You are not going to need acknowledgment. You are not going to get acknowledgment - from me or from others. Nor do you want it. You know – and that’s all. That’s all.
(I have found this to be extremely real in my personal unique experience, but it doesn't mean you will not want friends and that you will not be hurt...).
For those of you who have come along through this early, you already know this. There is no preaching at the others and not saying this how you have to do it. You’ll realize that. You don’t say this is how I did it and you have to do it. (talks about preaching on social media).
(Indeed, the desire to tell anyone how to do anything fades away, likely just after it rears its ugly head for the last hurrah of spiritual ego, in my personally unique experience.)
There’s no rushing anybody and there’s no pandering to anybody (poor dear etc.). You just allow them, and they’ll come through and maybe in your slip stream.
For those taking their time – and there’s something to be said about that – let the others go through and have the rockier path.
(The profound part for me…)
For those taking their time, don’t throw rocks at the ones you think that might have made it. Why would you throw rocks? To test them. Have they really made it or are they making it up?
You know rocks hurt, even to a master because they are still in a human body.
My body seized up here, I too felt so sick. I felt the trauma of my move from Colorado – I’m at the six-month mark and just now able to function completely.The steadiness did not set into until a year or so, and now a rock is just fine. The reverberation dissolves much more quickly.
Don’t throw rocks. Don’t assault them. Don’t criticize them. You are really just trying to test them.
Don’t to do that because when you first come through in the emergence there is an incredible sensitivity and sensuality.
If you are hanging back and waiting, don’t throw rocks. If any of this happens on social media, delete those posts. This is too sensitive. It hurts too much. It goes too deep - even for a human master.”
If you truly know me, you know I am not bringing this up to pat myself on the back. I bring this up to say that for me, this was and STILL is an extremely sensitive and sensual time. Go easy on yourself, go easy on those around you (reminder for ME!).
It's really level out now, even just after writing this - added in November 2018.
Everything I thought a master is has been thrown out the door. Everything is not perfect, and yet like my friend, Xanthe, told me, it does feel at arms length. You still feel deeply, almost even more deeply, but in this beautiful state of grace and realization it becomes clear - so clear - that deep deep feeling, or sensation rather, is not yours to hold onto. It rolls through you without the analyzing mind and is beyond my descriptive abilities right now.
The other thing is the more my realization sinks in, the more normal I feel. I feel more like a normal human being each day – after a lifetime of feeling so weird. I believe this comes with extreme self-acceptance and balance sets in eventually.
To think you won’t cry. Oh, I have cried and cried and cried. Driving from Colorado, I dehydrated myself from tears while simultaneously opening to my true nature. The lotus flower in the muck.
To think that you won’t feel when energetic daggers are thrown at you. That you are some sort of stone being who is not moved by their surroundings is a total fallacy.
In the end, this message personally gave me some deep sensual acknowledgment not from outside myself but from within myself.
I also want to note that I am greatly enjoying the materials from CC in this relationship – having removed the human quality of it – for now. It still does not feel safe for me to go into that human system space but the direct relationship with the materials and placing my wisdom int the vault, the conscious library feels really good.
Instead, of using the materials as tool to get further along some strangely perceived realization timeline or platform. I am simply loving the words that help me remember how I did ‘such and such’ in hindsight.
How did I stop allowing my mind to consistently feed off me? How did my body make the jump? How did I have this profoundly personal experience and at the same time have so many people throwing rocks at me? What is embodied creation going to look like as we re-write history?
The materials are amazing for this. Adamus came to me around May and he said don't let the human side of things prevent you from having a direct relationship and direct input into the materials offered by the channels. Since then, I have heard so many of my own experiences and words make it into the channels. I feel seen and heard on a completely different 'level' of awareness that holds no human recognition, which would feel terribly icky at this point.
Realization was simply a perception shift of worthiness, a freedom from being beholden to anyone (especially my own aspects and guilt – for blowing up Atlantis in this case – this continues to roll through deeply).
It had nothing to do with what my human life looked like. It doesn’t mean I don’t feel. I don’t cry. If anything, I feel more deeply than I ever have in my whole life.
The opposite of guilt is innocence. The dichotomies that arise in being beyond duality is something the mind would never be able to fathom. For example, to be completely in a child-like innocence (guilt-free) AND finding the spiritual maturity I so lacked when I first started writing with you all and creating this space.
The spiritual maturity comes with the balance, of learning to walk like baby through this embodiment. The paradox of child-like innocence as the path to maturity. Love that.
It is so tender, and self-care and self-nurturing is still needed in the fragility of this state, which is equally unbendable and unbreakable and unmoved by the rocks thrown.
There is a learning curve of how to walk like a baby, to learn to crawl and stand holding onto the table for stability, in this new state. Balancing comes but it takes some time - time I gave myself after my move to California six months ago.
I could go on, but at least wanted to capture this tender moment, knowing I am not the only one on this website who will or has gone through this. Thank you.
Karen, I keep thinking of you texting me as a drove out of Colorado. It is imprinted in my soul. The text popped on my phone when I was in the depths of the rock’s impact. THANK YOU.
I'm so glad I tuned into the five minutes; what that message did for me, what it moved within me, cannot be captured in words. Deep exhale. Holy crap it feels good to shuffle that around.
Massive gratitude for you all and this space - NO ROCKS. NO RACES.
Watching the June shoud with my partner in Poland, I was struck with the service Edith provided for those stuck literally in figuratively in their chairs. As a collective consciousness of beings choosing the embodied enlightenment experience, we often talk of patterns, limits, and moving beyond old beliefs, yet we rarely talk about the most terrifying thing of all - what happens when we move beyond them!
My friend Xanthe made a small comment that sparked a desire, a flame in me to talk about one of the most terrifying things of all - once you break those patterns and beliefs you will not have your "chair" at the party anymore.
Your chair, if you even have one anymore, is way out in what I somewhat jokingly call the Sovniverse. It's a place of true freedom, but also feels like it has no floor, no ceiling, and no relative bearing in the reality from which you perceived yourself while still in the limits.
This knowingness inspired the following post on social media...
" One of the rarely if ever mentioned facets of moving beyond limits of abundance or worth or any flavor of lack, is when you do so you also leave the perceived safety of a group consciousness.
As long as your still “getting there” you still belong to the group “on their way” to something that was never a destination but a way of being.
Without limits and lack, there you are in your sovniverse (sovereign universe of SELF) with nothing but you. Sounds so nice and it is but terrifying to the human to be so out there/ so in here that the group identity dissolves completely."
Someone responded that yes, you could be in the sovniverse AND in the groups and it is so true yet it's also so false, at the same time.
Right now in this experience of realization I find that I can swim into mass consciousness and back out without "losing" myself. Similarly, I can swim into a spiritual/ conscious group and maintain sovereign energy, knowing deeply what is mine and what is not mine.
However, there is a difference. The way I relate to others in groups like the Crimson Circle is completely different. In my lack, in my 'on my way to enlightenment' mentality I used to beLIEve, I felt a certain camaraderie - just like I did with my co-workers when I worked at a non-profit organization.
I do not feel that anymore with my human friends - although I love them and still hang out with them from time to time. But even more so, I do not relate to Shuambra anymore - not in the way I used to.
It's a very similar relationship I have to my singularly human friends and my mother. I love Shaumbra. I appreciate the company and the shared language of consciousness, but I feel no connection other than pure sight (I see you for who you truly are) to Shaumbra anymore. I no longer feel like a Shaumbra though I am deeply involved in the Crimson Council. Hanging out with a lovely human friend or a Shaumbra or my mom -- It's all the same to me.
And in that shift, the deep connection I had to a group - which was such a cool experience that served me so very well - no longer is part of my experience.
Getting there was terrifying at times as the group conscious was my safety net on days of doubt, days I felt like I might die, days I wondered if I had made the whole thing up. Plus, when a community feels you start to withdraw from a group, things can get real ugly.
When you say I don't need this group anymore AND in fact, my soul is deeply calling me to be alone in myself, people who still cling to the group for safety will react. Even when you know it's all about them and not you, it can still be quite unpleasant for the human. Yet, when you cross the Threshold, the fire breathing dragon takes care of it all.
In the soverniverse, you have no security blankets. I felt my human self trying to grab at a net - a safety net from any where - in this free fall. When I didn't find one, I threw my hands up in the air and yelled "whee!" Fuck it. This is what I'm here for. Not for friends, not for a group experience, I am here for ME!
You free fall until you create the bottom for yourself to stand on - or choose not to - allowing yourself to flail in unknown bliss within the GRANDness of our own Being-ness. Or more likely, both and a whole lot more!
In honor of you!
Lauren (Sar'h) writes adventure novels and short stories about the embodied enlightenment experience. She fancies herself a humanizing divinity journalist and DJ, and shares that work joyously on this page.