 These stories are in the format of the book, Memoirs of a Master by Adamus Saint-Germain. I love reading this book from the perspective of a new master, and the learning curve that comes with it - rather than the perspective of a student - although I can identify with that as well. I have written it in third person to make it clearer for me - Sar'h, my master Self, and Lauren, the human. Please note sometimes I use composite characters and the timeline may very slightly from linear time for story sake, and I do not view the world in linear time. You can click on 'Memoirs of a Modern Master' in the categories section to your right to read all of them. Enjoy! It was 2014, and the New Master, Sar'h, still held some of her human qualities, one of which was a desire for human romance. So Lauren accepted dates as they came up, but the same story line always played out. On her first date with Joe, he had told her his mom had left the physical body recently. He said he knew there was life after death now from his experiences, and he knew there was much more to the Universe that what man saw with his two physical eyes. "That's nice," Lauren thought. "I can be myself. He is aware." As they talked and went on further dates, she noticed the roles changing. He saw her as a teacher - someone to learn from. Each date ended up being a session of sorts in which Joe asked questions about the nature of enlightenment and Lauren answered them as the Master. Lauren had told Joe about her relationship with El Morya. Instead of inquiring what it was like for Lauren and how it impacted her life, he wanted a reading from El Morya - right now. What did El Morya have to say about his life, about his journey? Lauren was not seen as a person, but as some sort of oracle or free teacher/ healer/ guide. Lauren told Joe it was not appropriate to ask her such questions, and that El Morya had nothing to share with him. "You are doing alright on your own, Joe," she said. "Everything is unfolding in divine perfection." Joe became angry. "I want to see him NOW. Make him appear." "Well, Joe, El Morya doesn't appear on demand. In fact, he never appears in the way you wish to see him." Joe had said he wanted him or any Ascended Master to appear in such a physical state "you could bounce a quarter (coin) off of them." The notion was insulting and ludicrous. The more he went into his human need to see an ascended master, the angrier he became. He begged, pleaded, and then demanded that Lauren teach him the ways of the magus - right here, right now. He was so desperate, Lauren tried to show him some ways to connect with his own wisdom. His own wisdom - fuck that - he wanted answers from a master! And he wanted them now! The angrier he became the more Lauren began to sink into her mastery. She had given him a pearl and he had cast it before the dogs and the swine. (See related post) The master, Sar'h, sat and watched this all patiently, allowing Lauren to learn, or remember, something or many things, rather. First, dating was not going to be a part of this enlightenment lifetime. Sar'h had pointed out every single boyfriend she had experienced. Each and everyone thought they were attracted to Lauren physically, yet each demonstrated that they sought her awareness, her light more than anything. Sarah asked Lauren, "Have you ever been on a date when you weren't "helping" the man out, answering his questions, and providing solutions to his spiritual crises?" "Well, no, I have not, not since I became aware of who I AM," Lauren replied. It was that neediness from others who did not know the kingdom was within - again. You could tell them a million ways they did not need healing, readings, workshops, or anything external to know they were God, also - but it never sunk in. Their eyes would become hazy when she talked about the kingdom within. These men where not even capable of understanding that - very few were - she knew this from other lifetimes. When Lauren did not give them what they needed, they would go to someone else for energy - someone to stroke their egos, so to say. In 2014, Lauren had been so blinded by the need to belong - the human desire to be desired - that she continued to accept dates until one day, she realized what was occurring inside of her. Then she stepped back into her mastery. "Lauren, dear, you are never going to have a boyfriend in the human way. I watched with compassion as you put yourself in these situations over and over again to show you something. It's time to move on," Sar'h said and continued... "The master has to give up perceived human comforts - and there will be many more to renounce with joy - and one of those is fulfilling the human desire for a boyfriend. I know it sounds harsh now, but one day you will realize that was some old aspect playing in human free will who needed that boyfriend, not you - the master. The boyfriends know enough to see your light of awareness, but they will never match you in awareness in this lifetime. Not only boyfriends will fall away, but also your need for any external energy force. I know you cannot see it now but one day you will not even need to eat to live, to be. You won't want to fill yourself up with wine and cheap talk as you do now. You will relish in being alone on a Saturday night. You have come to the fork in the road in which you can now leave this pattern of trying to find 'the one.' You are the ONE. You know that. You always have. As for the rest, continue to live your life. Continue to feed on your addictions whatever they may be. Allow them to run their course, just as you have in dating so much. One day very soon, you will wake up and not desire a single thing outside of yourself." Lauren didn't know what to believe, but she trusted Sar'h, and she knew she was right at least on the dating. It had been exhausting. Every man wanted something from her - not her body, but her inner light - and that was not something she could give. She had given her soul to another man in another lifetime, and after twelve lives had finally reclaimed it. (Another story for another time.) Lauren was lonely at first, and then she started to realize she was not alone. Instead, she was in the company of masters - ones without physical form - but ones who knew how to be a friend without needing anything from her. It was a steep learning curve, but one Lauren was happy to experience. Lauren's desire to become herself had trumped Lauren's desire to belong - once again. It was not a pattern she needed to repeat. This time she was honest with herself about the nature of her own needs and the patterns they created, keeping her from her mastery. And indeed, Lauren did not know it at a human capacity then, but in 2017, she would wake up not needing food, wine, the company of human friends or boyfriends, or anything from outside of herself. It was and is beyond Lauren's wildest human imagination as most things in mastery are. Step of the edge, and you will fly, too. What human needs are keeping you in the patterns that hold your from claiming your mastery? Can you be honest in your answers?
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 These stories are in the format of the book, Memoirs of a Master by Adamus Saint-Germain. I love reading this book from the perspective of a new master, and the learning curve that comes with it - rather than the perspective of a student - although I can identify with that as well. I have written it in third person to make it clearer for me - Sar'h, my master Self, and Lauren, the human. Please note sometimes I use composite characters and the timeline may very slightly from linear time for story sake, and I do not view the world in linear time. You can click on 'Memoirs of a Modern Master' in the categories section to your right to read all of them. Enjoy! The master, Sar'h, had a friend who proclaimed she desperately wanted to achieve enlightenment in this life. Let’s call her Andrea. Andrea took all the courses - she had for two decades, maybe more. She spoke the conscious language like a pro, yet she always seemed to be in some sort of external battle - clearly a distraction from having to face what was going on inside of her. Andrea came to the master one day asking for money. $5,000 to be exact. To be paid back in two months with interest, of course. The money was for her new business. She had taken a course on conscious creation, and she was going to get it right this time, applying what she learned. The master looked into her purview. The master did not see her as a student but also a dear friend. When she looked into the body of consciousness of the friend, she knew that there was no way the business was going to succeed, yet the master knew that Andrea needed to have this experience - to fall on her face - to see what was really occurring within her. In fact, Andrea's soul even begged to have the experience - to create an opportunity for the human Andrea to step out of the prison she created over and over and over again. The master had plenty of money - she never had to work since she stepped into her mastery. But her human self wanted to warn the friend that she would fail and lose money. The master in her said that was not appropriate and this friend needed to learn the lesson on her own - to integrate it - so she lent her the money. And then she waited and watched. Catastrophe after catastrophe occurred in Andrea’s life. The new master watched with compassion. She never judged her friend, but watched with compassion Andrea fall and fall again. Andrea finally came to her. I am so sorry I cannot pay the money back. Then the master noticed Andrea was constantly spending money on things the master never spent money on. She was always paying for sessions with spiritual teachers, going out and buying expensive meals and fancy alcoholic drinks, chiropractors, body treatments, new clothes, new shoes. The list went on. After a year passed, the master said relaxed and calm, "Hey, it is time to pay me back, friend." By this time Andrea admitted the she had spent the money on the business she had now abandoned. After some conversations, Andrea finally admitted she had a retirement account that she could use to pay the master back. The money was coming any day now, Andrea told the master over and over again. The master felt steady in that she would pay her back, and she was not worried about it. Yet, watching Andrea she knew she had not learned her lesson. She watched Andrea continue to spend money with reckless abandon. Andrea kept saying she would pay the money back. That she was back on track. That she had a new business plan. That she wasn't shopping anymore. Well, Andrea, said a lot of things. In fact, she rarely stopped talking; she rarely listened. The thing is Andrea was being as honest as she knew how to be. In her mind, she had it all figured out. She twisted around the language of the spiritual teachers she followed to fit her situation. She said this situation had been about self-love - something all the teachers were talking about these days. The master knew that Andrea could not love herself because she did not know herself. Yet, the master knew as much as Andrea thought she was telling the truth, she was not only lying to the master - worse - she was lying to herself. She had lied to herself for so long, she didn’t even know the truth anymore. Lauren, the human, was heartbroken, watching the destruction occur helpless, yet her inner master said this was an important experience to have, to bring Lauren through. The master said there was a learning curve in owning her mastery in this life, and this friend was showing her something worth more than $5,000 - worth more than money could buy. The master and Lauren both gently hinted about being paid back and what was going on in Andrea’s life. Andrea asked for advice almost daily now, but never actually listened to what the master had to say - showing her where to look not what to see. Andrea continued in her ways. When she drank too much at an event she would cling her glass to give a toast in which she proclaimed her mastery and extreme abundance. Her speeches were Oscar-worthy, the master noted. Lauren counted at the master's advising. Seven times over the course of one year, she gave Andrea the advice she asked for. She was patient in being paid back. Then she watched Andrea spend more than the money owed on frivolous gifts for herself and others. On the eighth time Andrea came to the Master for advice and to apologize and to give excuses again for not paying her back, the master flipped her demeanor. “Not only have you disrespected me, Andrea,” she said. “Worse, you have disrespected yourself.” Andrea protested in alarm. “I have not. I have been totally honest with you.” “You have the money to pay me back in your retirement account, Andrea,” the master said. “I expect by the end of the week.” “That’s going to put me in a bind, “ Andrea told the master. “I have to pay taxes on the money to give it to you. Couldn’t I just pay you back over time, in small installments?” The master had allowed the installments once before with another student, a student who also did the same things as Andrea. She knew that old trick. It was something she did not need to learn again. "Thank goodness," Lauren thought, relieved. Lauren, the human, had found this whole situation stressful. The master, Sar'h, was calm and that calmed her too, but this was a friend - one she could lose. The master said she had to be prepared for that - at anytime. Becoming was not in alignment with belonging. Compassionate detachment, the master called it. “NO!” the master said firmly to Andrea. Lauren could not believe this person was feeling inconvenienced when it was her, the master who was inconvenienced by the whole ridiculous situation. The master, Sar'h, reminded Lauren to breathe - we were learning how not to be affected by those around us, especially not by our students. Students - Lauren hated the word and what it meant - but she agreed this experience could be categorized as nothing else in human words. Yet there was no pay. There was no classroom. "Interesting," Lauren thought. Andrea was alarmed and shocked at the master's change of demeanor. Andrea lacked the self-awareness to know the master had given her seven chances over more than a year to make good on her promise. Andrea was so unaware she could not remember all the excuses, the apologies. Andrea could not see that her spending habits were a huge disrespect to the master who had shown up for her - that is until the master was forced to point it out, no matter how painful it would be to Andrea. At this point, the master seemed like the most unkind person in the world. Lauren hated being disliked, but the master in her said that was part of her own lesson in all this. Becoming and belonging do not go hand and hand, Sar'h reminded her again. Sometimes the kindest act of mastery is to draw a line of intolerance. Andrea had studied enough to understand on some level. She cashed out her retirement account and paid the master back. “I really learned the lesson this time,” Andrea told the master and herself another lie. She apologized yet again. And again. Two months later, homeless, Andrea was asking to sleep on people’s couches. Yet, instead of changing her habits, Andrea continued to buy expensive meals, pay for beauty treatments, and she drank alcohol at every chance she got, often running up very large bar tabs. The master in total love and compassion watched, knowing - one day, perhaps not in this lifetime - Andrea would look back and appreciate the lesson, but not until it sunk in - when she finally stopped lying to herself, many, many moons from now. The master had planted a seed that could only bloom when awareness was chosen by Andrea, and Lauren let all the stress and any human ill will go, fly away, knowing that she had stepped further into her mastery and the learning curve that comes with stepping into her new role. Andrea despised the Master, who lived in Lauren's human body. When she drank wine with her friends she talked about how mean Lauren was. Yet, Andrea's soul sighed and knew what the Master showed her. Lauren, the new Master, never cared for she knew what was really going on. The lies we tell ourselves are so seductive. It wasn't so long ago that Lauren had lied to herself, too. Lauren as the master, Sar'h, knew there was no need anymore to defend her behavior to those who could not see it the gifts given, for they had not yet been received. Lauren, in her new state, realized that being a friend, in the human sense of the word, in this situation was not possible. A "friend" in the human sense would continue to play the game - she would continue to advise, to support these lies that hurt no one more than they hurt Andrea. A "friend" would continue to build up Andrea, to be her cheerleader in the games Andrea was playing with herself. Lauren had to stay steady in her mastery, steady in her firm boundaries, or she too would be just like Andrea - blinded not by the need to have more money --- but by her own need to belong. To be continued…. Author's Note: I think the story begets two things: asking us to be honest about our current state of being with ourselves and for ourselves only, AND recognizing the learning curve that is stepping into mastery, such as realizing the definition of friendship expands and shifts in the new 'role.' Just like when we abandoned our human lives upon awakening, it is often that we must shed our 'conscious workshop' friends for a time too after we have stepped like a babe into our mastery. Ascended Masters like El Morya are always there to 'lend a hand'. Not with advice or energy but by holding the consciousness of BEING as a sort of welcome mat for those who have entered the embodied enlightenment experience. When you get there, if you are not there already, Sar'h too will stand next to the welcome mat in your honor. Meet us under the Banyan Tree, fellow masters?    I once considered Sar'h the voice of my soul - as she was with me throughout my childhood and awakening as a guide for the human Lauren, born on Thanksgiving Day in 1980 in Dallas, Texas. Yet, as I have spiraled more and more into my own mastery, I feel more like Sar'h and less like Lauren each moment. However, I do prefer the name Lauren as I am the one who picked it and whispered in my mom's ears long before she became swollen with me in her womb at age thirty-three.
In this life as Lauren, I chose my father, Robin, as he came from my soul family. In a simultaneous life, my father was a great pharaoh of Egypt and I was his daughter. We hold many lives together and he is constantly with me from his mastery on the ‘other side.’ He currently holds no human attributes but appears in angelic form. He will come back to have his embodied enlightenment experience but not for sometime. He is an angelic master of communication in all forms, which is his current 'project' on the 'other side.' I chose my mother, Susan, for two reasons. My grandmother holds the bloodline of Yeshua and Mary Magdalene and my grandfather held the bloodline of my ancestors - a family I had been incarnating in for centuries - the most recent as my life as Enola (Alone spelled backwards). On a family tree, Enola would be the great aunt of the Lauren incarnation. Enola lived from November 25, 1898 (the year of El Morya's ascension) to Februrary 1936 in Chicago, Kentucky, Texas, and California. She was a wanderer and a pioneer when it was not socially acceptable for women to be so. Additionally, both my mother and her mother, my grandmother, gifted me with the ’Sight’ - or the ability to see without regard for linear time and space. I chose the name Lauren for myself, and it resonates in every cell of my being-ness. Lauren comes from the latin of Laurentum, which means from the place of the laurel leaves. Indeed, that is where I have come from. It is also a French name, and modern day France is where I experienced ascension in one of my lifetimes on Earth. This lifetime of Lauren is the designated embodied enlightenment experience lifetime, and the one I focus sensually on as all the other lifetimes run simultaneously like flowing rivers who meet in the vast ocean of my sovereign consciousness - the consciousness of BEING. However, I use to the name Sar'h now to encompass the ocean of sovereign consciousness that is my BEING, also of which I call the avatar SELF. Sar in Hebrew means prince or ruler, yet not a ruler of other people, but over SELF, also called mastery. To me, Sar’h is like a radiant diamond, with each lifetime running in simultaneous flowing rivers into the ocean of SELF representing a facet or face of the diamond of SELF. Sar'h, like many of you reading this, held lives in Atlantis and Lemuria, and worked to establish the first religions and governments on Earth. In one lifetime, the avatar Sar'h in embodied human form gave birth to one of El Morya's physical incarnations, yet their friendship regardless of the human roles, spans lifetimes. She, for lack of a better pronoun, has incarnated as both a man and a woman and had many less than so-called desirable lives. Wanting to experience everything human life had to offer, Sar’h has played every role from victim to perpetrator, wounded to warrior, and everything in between. Sar'h maintains her name in honor of a lifetime in which she experienced ascension during her short time on Earth, and in which she was a daughter of Yeshua and Mary Magdalene. In this life she was born underground in Alexandria, Egypt and then was transported to modern day France for her safety. She grew up in a mixed community of Essenes and Druids, and spent/ spends many lifetimes in those Druid communities. As you are aware, when Atlantis was destroyed, most of us washed up on the shores of modern-day Wales, and had our Druid experience in the mists of Avalon - El Morya and St. Germain included as King Arthur and his Merlin, respectively. I made the decision to reincarnate as Lauren to experience embodied enlightenment at this magical time and space on Earth, live a life of joy and freedom, and to support with my BEING-ness, not by doing, others on their self-realization journeys, with deep honor and compassion. Sar’h, my avatar self, loves visiting fellow souls in the dream state or on long walks in nature - as a dear friend rather than a teacher. She enjoys communicating in images and sensations. In this capacity, I am deeply passionate about reminding the humans I love so much the kingdom of God is within. Divinity resides inside of all of us. Sar’h cherishes above all the seed of consciousness planted on this Earth by Yeshua to realize we too are God, with each breath she takes in all her various forms. For more information, please check out the Honors & Contributors page. |
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Lauren (Sar'h) writes adventure novels and short stories about the embodied enlightenment experience. She fancies herself a humanizing divinity journalist and DJ, and shares that work joyously on this page. Archives
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