t’s not been too long where I felt like I lost my passion for well anything at all. I used to have projects, physical creations, all sorts of stuff I had not done -yet. Stuff I needed to make happen physically, stuff to engage others in.
But it died sometime in the July heat (oh that desert, left me high and dry). What’s left to do on this planet, after having done it all? What’s left to do, when you don’t have a project to share and create (so fun when it’s flowing but it flew out the window or dried up in that heat!)?
It’s only been in the past few months that it came rushing back in like a cool California ocean swell: The singular passion for knowing myself sans past, present, future but in this broad and beautiful infinite NOW and just having as much fun as possible in this “last” physical life.
Allowing all the streams of realities, waves of consciousness to flow through me with no desire to change them. No desire to analyze or even discuss but just BE me fully embodied.
This picture captures it. Post surf with some amazing human beings who simply want to go out, catch a few waves and witness the sunset in all its glory!
Simplicity in simultaneous multiplicity embodied with an unabashed passion for being me - sans definition - living life - sans definition. Surf’s up!
Long before I found the Crimson Circle, I was traveling the planet alone, picking up parts and pieces of myself that I had left in other 'lifetime' experiences. In Peru, I found I needed to go to Mount Sinai, from there to the high desert of the American Southwest, and the list goes on.
In 2014, I found myself trudging up the rugged terrain of Mount Sinai - the place was empty under a terrorist threat and a suicide bomber had blown himself up that morning. After getting off my camel and moving forward on foot, tired and feeling very much confused and so far away from my home, I asked, "Morya, what am I doing here?!"
Ascended Master El Morya (he hates the title) had been with me in awareness for over a year now as I write about in BOOK ONE.
I looked down and on the ground was a puzzle piece. I picked it up and felt the sensation inside myself say, "you are picking up parts and pieces of yourself from every lifetime on Earth. This is just one piece of the puzzle."
Later I wrote in my journal, "Realization/ Enlightenment/ whatever the hell buzz word works for you...is like throwing a million piece puzzle up into the air. Yet, as I learned the hard way, it's not the human self putting the pieces back together with the mind. Instead in a state of relaxed being-ness, the I AM true nature of my being tosses the puzzle freely into the air and allows it to put itself back together. Allowing energy to serve us, means in this case, simply being in that natural state of the I Exist, the puzzle pieces can come together at will and re-arrange themselves at will - for enlightenment is not a destination - being is not a static state, but a dynamic one in the perpetual state of becoming that is the embodied enlightenment experience, or Triple E."
Once those pieces were collected - they still come in an re-arrange something that continues for even a master like El Morya - I began to bring the parts from the cosmos, from the parts and pieces never on Earth before - the embodied enlightenment experience.
Hey, remember when enlightenment became a heavily loaded word that had to be discarded. Doesn't realization feel that way now in its heavily rotated use?...
During the SAM channel in Bled, instead of using aspects and facets from the Aspectology materials, he used these words - parts and pieces of Self.
I smiled with delight, remembering back in the days before CC, where I only had my own natural experiences that were not filtered through any language or definition, only my own independent senses.
In some ways, I felt so lost at the time. I could not see sometimes the beauty of my own natural evolution of Self, unfiltered. All is appropriate and all serves but what a cool thing that I did not realize at the time. How grateful I am to have NOT found CC until I had the time to experience it all raw.
Currently, I feel myself returning to that time, allowing this expansion to perpetuate without the filters of an organization, having developed an unwavering in trust in the perfection of my unique unfoldment.
I've written a lot about aspects and facets and will continue to do so. But until recently, I had not really experienced what happens after the aspect integrates, or after the parts and pieces are picked up. In other words, how does a facet work and how do I play with it? Better yet, how does it play into creation embodied?
Sar'h is indeed a facet of myself in this last lifetime. Much like the author Joachim Wolffram describes Althar the Dragon. He has a bit more experience than me, tapping into it and the returning to Self.
On my car ride from Oregon to Texas, my "Infinite I" - for new folks that is what I call my soul, human, I AM and all parts and pieces combined as ONE - began to show me how to navigate or allow the shift of the facet to come forth in expression and then return to the source of me - the God also. I really have no words for this yet so I return to an old quail for the sake of having a space holder.
The waves rises up in the ocean, expresses it self and then returns to the source of the Infinite I. The wave as the facet. I have no words really. It was an energetic sensation, a stream of consciousness that flows through the edge-less center-less being that I AM.
Some how and without words, I feel how this is so related or intertwined with the "God, also" state of consciousness - the ineffable experience of knowing you are Gold also. I wished I had more words but for now the sensation -------------------- here.
You are not in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop. - Rumi
I have also been pondering the uniqueness of each of us and honoring how cool that is that while some things we hold in common, we get to choose how our experience and expressions go, uniquely.
For example, some people having clear and defined days where realization "occurred." I simply do not have it though I have a general time period where I felt a significant shift.
I wrote this in my notes...
Before I was moving in a linear timeline toward a goal of enlightenment. When the knowing of the I AM God, also occurred sensationally (last October), I expanded in all directions and then reversed into a new state of being-ness.
From this single point of existence, energy began to serve me, delivering all parts and pieces of myself, to fully embody in physical and non-physical form all that I am.
Sometimes I move in reserve, I back into an experience and/or expression of Self, and yet I find I am never moving forward, only sinking into more of myself with each moment, breath or stream of awareness.
(Gosh, does that make any sense???)
What are you all experiencing and expressing?
Extended note - a comment from a friend, Kai - which captures more fully a relatable experience for me:
"It took yet another phase before I understood what had been going on from the start: a naturally unfolding process that was creating, as me, a new state of being here now. For years, I thought I was reconnecting to all these "parts and pieces” that were different emanations of my “Oversoul”; then it felt more like I was expanding to include them in what I could “access”, know and experience beyond my human life here. Recently I learned that others feel they are inviting “parts and pieces” back in, “allowing their aspects to become facets”, (re-)ntegrating or “embodying” them.
It’s much more than all of this. The overused (and now distorted) words you mention were not badly chosen to start with. “Enlightenment” = switching on the light in what used to be a dark room, so you see what’s been there all along. “Realization” = recognising, clearly comprehending, what has always been true. All the parts and pieces, all the resonant lifetimes, existences, energies, beings… are all me (always have been, always will be) AND are all evolving as I am. They are multiplicity of my own singular sovereign creator self, me, expressing and experiencing my own creation. A new phase has begun. Now I feel us all evolving together in a VERY difficult to describe "loop around future change" where we all shift to different parallel realities."
Indeed - so hard to describe, Kai. I feel like a kindergarten student trying to explain my dissertation. Somehow that childlike innocence is serving me in the writing right now. Thank you.
I've been pondering a lot lately my personal and unique NEWNESS (and yours). I have been pondering -- pondering for me is exploring the energetic makeup and sensations associated with a sense of focus in a current state of being that knows no past, not future yet one expanded Infinite NOW -- I have been pondering how I have stepped into a new way of BEING me and what it means for each of us sovereignly and uniquely as we reverse into the realized state of BEING.
What once worked - categorization, for example - no longer is a coping mechanism for the vastness of being embodied in human form. Categorization - what do you mean by that? Well, once upon a time, it was so easy to place the voices inside of myself into categories - human and divine, for example. By divine, some use there term soul voice or the ever-so-popular term - master voice.
But how do we operate in the world when the two distinct voices human and divine become ONE - a symphony of the songs of our soul that is both human and divine as one - with no clear or present separation. For that is the definition of NEW ENERGY, allowing the integration of duality, including our divine nature and our human nature. You can no longer create a divide between human and soul, human and master, as they all merge into one.
However, that ONE is not (at least not for me) a singular voice that has the quality of a human-constructed singular voice. Instead, it is a symphony of all parts and pieces of Self that create a cohesive song, a playlist even. With the sense of focus, you can zero in on the violin perhaps, or maybe the flute solo. Yet, any human concept of clarity - it seems to me, personally - must be thrown out for a new sense of clarity - one of simultaneous multiplicity in a singular Self.
Let me try it again -- Simultaneous realities and expressions occur in an expanded NOW moment and all radiate from Self. In other words, the Experience of Self is expansional in all directions at the same time. New Energy.
And that's a whole lot of NEW to take in!
In the baby steps I've taken into the NEW, I have noticed (observation in the sense awareness) that this state of being has no center -- for example, my soul is no longer the core; the I AM is no longer in a firm place. All of these parts and pieces do NOT have a central sun to orbit around in an organized manner. Damn.
In this state, I have found a new way to "ground". Once I placed my bare feet into the grass to ground myself - to relocate my center. Once I asked myself questions and discerned the soul voice from the human one - to relocate my center of Self.
But what is left to do when there is no center and no categories and no separation between human and divine or any other parts and pieces of Self?
Now, I find I look to the cosmos. I watch the stars pop into the night sky and form constellations. I admire the Milky Way from the desert landscapes around me.
I watch, I observe something with no perception of order - the universes above me. I watch them exist without the need for definition, for plans, without any need for order. They simply exist in their own magnificence.
Master Morya once described to me that I was in the moment knowing the Universe(s) of Self, of the Universe(s) of Me, allowing it to flow into my awareness. I am just now starting to fathom what that really means.
And, what better way to let go of the old definitions of clarity, order, the present moment, and singularity than looking up to the universes above, for they are the universes within when you see through the lens of no separation.
Through that expansion, I find there is nothing left to do, only to be. And have some fun too. Why not?
Lauren (Sar'h) writes adventure novels and short stories about the embodied enlightenment experience. She fancies herself a humanizing divinity journalist and DJ, and shares that work joyously on this page.